For Good
by Gilbert Winchester
Summary: The future generation of the Dalton-verse Warblers get themselves into some crazy shenanigans as they navigate through private school.  co-written by Flightofdeathfrench or I'mJustCrazyEnough17  Jogan, Rane, Klaine, OC/OC
1. Chapter 1: Sectionals

**AN: So this is the story that flightofdeathfrench and I have been planning forever. We planned this so much that we have the plot worked out for the whole entire story. **

**If you haven't read the one-shot that inspired this called Reunion, you can read it in my profile.**

**And now on to Chapter 1! I wrote the sectionals part and Helen (flightofdeathfrench) wrote the other part. **

"And now, in the 50th Annual Show Choir Sectional Competition, we welcome the Dalton Academy Warblers from Westerville, Ohio!"

The crowed exploded in applause as the curtain opened onto the a cappella group; who all had their backs turned to the audience.

Ever since Dalton Academy and Dobry Hall had combined years ago, The Warblers had been the top contenders in the Show Choir National Championships nearly every year.

The audience was on the edge of their seats as lights dimmed on the stage and a short brunette boy made his way up to the front of the group; who began weaving a techno background rhythm with their voices.

_Dum Dum Dum Dum Dum Dum Dum Dum_

_Me not working hard?  
>Yea right picture that with a kodak<br>And better yet, go to times square  
>Take a picture of me with a kodak<br>Took my life from negative to positive  
>And I just want y'all know that<br>And tonight, let's enjoy life_

At this point the rest of the singers had turned around and began swaying in a modified version of the classic "Warbler two-step" as another layer was added onto the music.

All eyes were on the two singers that stepped out of the crowd.

Alice Hummel-Anderson and Damien Larson-Wright were the natural leaders of the choir.

The way their voices fit together seemed easy; effortless. It was almost bittersweet considering that their personal relationship was anything but.

_Tonight I will love love you tonight__  
><em>_Give me everything tonight__  
>For all we know we might not get tomorrow<br>Let's do it tonight_

Damien reached out to grab Alice's hand; who eagerly entwined their fingers together as she joined him in singing.

_I will love love you tonight  
>Give me everything tonight<br>For all we know we might not get tomorrow  
>Lets do it tonight<em>

_Don't care what they say  
>All the games they play<br>Nothing is enough  
>Till they handle love<em>

The girl Warblers skipped around their partners, who grabbed their hands and turned them around flawlessly.

_I want you tonight, I want you today  
>I want you tonight<em>

Damien jumped out of the crowd; grabbing Alice and spinning her around in a complicated fashion, as the other dancers did a similar twist with their respective partners.

At this point in the song the other Warblers split themselves up.

The less gifted dancers stayed in the back to jump back and forth in their usual 'two-step' as the more advanced couples moved in front of them.

Among the many couples were the short brunette boy who had opened the song and a petite blonde girl who was his dance partner.

_Grab somebody sexy tell 'em hey  
>Give me everything tonight<br>Give me everything tonight_

The two leads voices wove together as the voices behind them continued to provide the complex background vocals that the Warblers were famous for.

_Give me everything tonight  
>Give me everything tonight<em>

Two blondes moved out of the crowd to rap the next part, as the other dancers continued to bop to the beat behind them.

_Get busy tonight__  
><em>_Cuz to more and more to do bad before and for Prius__  
><em>_Desperate tonight__  
><em>_I can make you my queen__  
><em>_And make love to you eanless__  
><em>_This is insane, the way the name growin', money keep flowin'__  
><em>_Hustlers move aside, so I'm tiptoein, keep flowin'__  
><em>_I gotta locked up like Lindsay Lohan_

_Put it on my life baby__  
><em>_I can make you feel right baby__  
><em>_I can't promise tomorrow__  
><em>_But I promise tonight_

The blonde boy and girl back flipped in opposite directions, and ran back up to the rest of the dancers, who were each clasped to their partners in a sort of techno swing dance.

At this point the music reached a decrescendo, as the boys and girls parted way on opposite sides of the stage; leaving Alice and Damien alone in the center to finish up the song.

_Tonight I will love love you tonight__  
><em>_Give me everything tonight__  
><em>_For all we know we might not get tomorrow__  
><em>_Lets do it tonight__  
><em>_I will love love you tonight__  
><em>_Give me everything tonight__  
><em>_For all we know we might not get tomorrow__  
><em>_Lets do it tonight__  
><em>

The audience exploded in applause as the performers bowed and the curtains closed.

The Warblers erupted into cheers; running around and hugging each other in their excitement.

"Not too shabby huh?" Damien smirked, wrapping his arms around his girlfriend.

Alice rolled her eyes in response.

"I don't know. I'd say your performance was a bit pitchy."

She teased; before leaning in to capture his lips with the adrenaline of performance still pumping through her veins.

Dane Seigerson grinned from the corner at his best friend; and then scanned the room looking at his fellow Warblers. Although he didn't really have many friends in the Warblers, he still enjoyed watching everyone interact with one another.

On the opposite side of the room his dance partner, Lucie, was talking excitedly to one of the members of the stage crew; Luke Houston.

Luke never missed a Warbler performance, despite never actually being in the Warblers. Although everyone was sure that it had much more to do with a certain strawberry blonde than his interest in music.

"Come on you Romeo, time to go back on stage…" Dane laughed, dragging his reluctant friend away from his girlfriend.

Alice pouted slightly before joining hands with Damien and Lucie on the stage.

This was it.

* * *

><p>"I don't want to be here. Why do we have to be here?" Damien was whining loudly as Julian rang the doorbell.<p>

"This is your girlfriend's house. Man up." Julian ruffled his son's hair.

"I'd be fine if it was just me and Alice," Damien said, glancing nervously at the door. "But you two are here and…" He shuddered. "I just don't like this."

"I don't like it either." Logan turned toward the car. "Let's leave."

Just then the door opened to reveal a smiling Kurt Hummel.

Logan spun back around, acting like he hadn't been just about to leave.

"Hi," Kurt said. "Come on in." He moved aside and ushered Damien, Julian, and Logan inside.

Alice was standing on the steps, wearing a midnight blue sundress. She smiled at Damien and then looked up and saw his fathers standing behind him, neither looking like they particularly wanted to be there.

"Hi," she said, just like her dad. "I'm Alice." She bounded forward, offering her hand.

Julian looked her up and down, noticing how her dress fell very loosely over her skin and bones frame. He took her hand and shook it, smiling his movie star smile at her. "I'm Julian." He let go and stepped aside, giving his husband the opportunity to shake her hand if he wanted to.

He apparently did not want to.

"This is Logan," Julian said, filling the slightly awkward silence.

Then Blaine came through the doorway and things went from awkward to _majorly_ awkward.

"I know," Alice said, oblivious to the tension. She took Damien's hand and pulled him toward the dining room.

Once the two of them were out of the room, Blaine, Kurt, Logan, and Julian stood in silence for a moment.

"We're going to all play nice," Kurt announced loudly, as if that settled matters, "because for some strange reason our son and daughter like each other. Okay? So everyone is just going to be _civil_." He looked from Logan to Blaine and back again. Then he turned to Julian. "And if they go at it across the dinner table, you grab Damien, I'll grab Alice, we'll take them out of the room to have a nice quiet game of cards in the living room, and Blaine and Logan can rip each other's faces off."

Julian smiled, relieved that maybe this wouldn't be as terrible as he'd thought it might be. "Sounds like a plan."

The four men entered the dining room, where there were six places set at the table. Damien and Alice were already sitting next to each other on one side, and Julian and Logan took the two seats on the other side. Kurt and Blaine sat at the heads of the table.

"So." Kurt reached for the pot of roast beef. "We have roast beef and salad with baguette." He opened the lid of the roast beef and steam poured out of the pot. He served up a piece to everyone and then the salad was passed around.

Everyone was silent during all of this.

Damien leaned over to whisper something to Alice. She giggled.

Julian looked over at Logan to see that he was holding his fork and knife very tightly. His knuckles were white.

"So!" Kurt said loudly. "How is school going?"

Damien and Alice looked at him like he had three heads.

"Good," Alice mumbled.

"Yeah," Damien agreed.

"Are you in the Warblers too, Damien?" Kurt asked. He was the only one actually making an attempt at conversation here.

Alice was blushing hard, pushing her food around on the plate. This was so awkward. Why did her dads have to do these things to her? And it looked like Damien's dads wanted to kill her or something. At least the blond one did…Logan, she thought it was. What was that even about?

"Yes, I'm in the Warblers." Damien stuffed a large piece of roast beef into his mouth.

"Hey. Manners," Logan commanded.

Julian shot his husband a warning look.

"I'm not going to have my son look like he was raised in a barn, especially not _here_," Logan hissed to Julian.

"What does _that_ mean?" Blaine asked, fire in his eyes that reminded Julian of Logan.

"It just means that he doesn't want Damien to shove too much food in his mouth at once," Julian said, wondering if now would be the time to put Kurt's plan into action.

"But what does he mean, 'especially not here?'" Blaine demanded.

Julian caught Kurt looking at him and they both rolled their eyes.

"Why don't you ask _me_ what I mean?" Logan asked, leaning forward in anger.

Damien and Alice were looking at each other, thoroughly miffed. Yes, Damien knew that Logan didn't particularly like Blaine, but he'd only picked that up through the way Julian kept telling Logan that he just needed to suck it up and breathe and not kill Blaine.

"I don't like the idea of your _son_ dating my _daughter_," Blaine said, changing the subject so fast that everyone got whiplash.

Logan was the first to recover. "Well _I_ don't like the idea of _your daughter_ dating _my son_."

"Your son is lucky to date my daughter!" Blaine exclaimed. Kurt took his hand and rubbed it soothingly.

It didn't help.

As Blaine and Logan continued to argue, Damien leaned closer to Alice and whispered in her ear, "Wanna go make out in the backyard?"

"This is interesting, though," Alice said, smiling a little bit as she listened to Blaine telling Logan something that involved a few choice words she never would have expected him to use.

"Why do you think they hate each other so much?" Damien asked. No one was paying attention to them so it didn't matter if they could be heard.

"I was listening to my dads talking this afternoon when they thought I wasn't home yet and Papa told Dad that 'despite what Logan did to you in the past,'" she was doing a very good Kurt impression, " 'you need to put that aside for Alice's sake.' And then Dad was like, 'But what if his son is just like him? You never understood, Kurt, what Logan is capable of doing.' And then Papa was like, 'Just because Logan could do that, doesn't mean Damien will. He has Julian as a role model too.' And then Dad was like, 'Oh, yeah, Hollywood superstar, perfect role model.' And then they stopped talking about it."

Damien looked half-offended and half-amused. "That's interesting. I wonder what my dad did to yours."

"Whatever it is…" Alice leaned in closer. "…I trust you."

"I love you," Damien said, smiling and closing the distance between their lips.

"HEY!" Someone's dad was shouting at them. "No kissing at the dinner table!"

"No yelling at the dinner table," Damien said calmly, turning around to see Logan standing there looking royally pissed. Blaine was also standing.

"We're going," Julian said, taking Logan's hand and pulling him out of the room. "Nice to see you Kurt, Blaine. Good to meet you Alice. Come over any time you want! Let's go, Damien."

* * *

><p>"First place…The Dalton Academy Warblers!"<p>

The crowd erupted in applause as the Warblers rejoiced; hugging each other and jumping around.

"We did it." whispered Damien, pulling back from the bone crunching hug that Alice had encased him in moments before.

And then, not really caring who saw them, the two caught each other's lips for the hundredth time that night.

They didn't care that both of their parents were literally having heart attacks in the audience.

All that mattered was that they were there, with each other; at least, for now.


	2. Chapter 2: Snapshots

**AN: In this chapter I wrote the first part, flightofdeathfrench wrote the second part, and I wrote the last part with the party! I hope if you're reading that you review, because flightofdeathfrench and I have worked so hard on this plot and these characters, and we really would love some feedback!**

**Chapter 2: Snapshots**

It was 8 am on a Saturday afternoon that Alice found herself alone in her dorm. It was unusual for Lucie to wake up so early, let alone to leave the room without telling her roommate were she was. Still, she figured it had something to do with her brother visiting or something, so she made her way into the shower without really giving it much thought.

It wasn't until an hour later when Alice had finally finished her morning routine that her roommate made herself known again, shutting the door to the dorm as though she was trying not to wake the rest of the house.

She froze in her place upon seeing Alice and gasped, dropping her bag to the floor.

"Alice? You scared me I-" Lucie played with the hem of her Dalton blazer, averting her eyes from her roommate.

"Where were you?" Alice asked with a perfectly poised eyebrow. "And why are you wearing your uniform? It's Saturday." Lucie looked down at her uniform as though she was only just realizing that she was wearing it.

"Oh…I just…forgot?" She ran a hair through her blonde curls; moving across the room to the closet. "I just had to…umm."

"I'm waiting." Alice tapped her foot impatiently.

"I had to talk with Harvey about the new set list for Regionals." The blonde replied weakly, shrugging her shoulders, "Dance stuff."

"Okay…let's pretend that I just bought that…" The brunette rolled her eyes, making her way into the closet. "Seriously though, are you going to the party tonight? I need your help picking out what to wear."

"I don't know I don't see why I should. It's always you and Damien making out somewhere while I sit in the corner with absolutely nothing to do."

Alice looked as though she were about to protest before Lucie interrupted.

"And it's fine. I'm totally happy for you. But I just think there's better ways for me to spend my Saturday night than being a third wheel." It was true enough, and Alice knew it. Still, even though she ignored Lucie for most of the evening, she wanted her to be there. It was irrational, she knew, but for some reason she couldn't have fun without the petite blonde by her side.

"But…it's to celebrate for sectionals! All the Warblers will be there! It'd be weird if you weren't!" Alice pouted, not that Lucie really cared if it was 'weird' or not. "I want you to go! I promise I won't ignore you."

Every year this happened. Alice begged Lucie to go to a party and Lucie ended up driving everyone home once they were wasted. It turned out throw up did in fact stain your shoes.

But then Lucie could never really say no to Alice. She had this way about her that she would never stop nagging you until she got exactly what she wanted, and Lucie was hardly one to start a conflict.

"Fine," She answered, "I'll go to the party with you. But this is the last time!"

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" The brunette squealed, crushing the shorter girl in a hug.

"Alice!" The blonde struggled to free herself from the brunette's thin arms. "I need to get dressed!"

"You're cute." Alice laughed, patting Lucie on the head affectionately before making her way out of the closet.

* * *

><p>Dane leaned against the car, watching as Alice walked across the parking lot wearing a pink mini skirt and a light blue t-shirt. She was carrying her purple purse and looking very dainty.<p>

Dane rolled his eyes. These were exactly the type of girls his father would love for him to bring over and have loud sex with in his bedroom.

Derek was always asking him if he'd picked up any girls when he went to parties.

Maybe he could convince Damien to let him bring Alice to his house after the party…

No, Derek probably knew that Alice and Damien were dating, so that wouldn't work.

Oh, well, Dane would just have to disappoint his dad – again.

Damien had been standing next to Dane, but the second Alice walked out of the Royal dormitory, Damien had been off and running, leaving Dane alone.

As per usual.

Dane heard Lucie sigh next to him, and turned around to say something, but someone else said something first.

"Does she do that every time she sees him?"

There was a boy standing there. He had curly black hair and grey eyes. He wore glasses, and had a camera hanging around his neck.

"Yes," Lucie said miserably. She then realized that Dane and Alex didn't know each other, so she said, "Dane, this is my little brother, Alex. Alex, this is my…friend. Dane."

"Nice to meet you," Alex said, thrusting his hand into the empty space between himself and Dane.

Dane smiled faintly. "Hi." He stared at Alex's hair, the curls, the eyes…

Shaking his head, he looked at Lucie. "Alex for Alexander McQueen, right?"

"Of course." She laughed.

"You could have asked me," Alex said, lifting the camera to his eye and snapping a picture of Dane.

"Hey!" Dane pushed the camera away from him. "You can't just take pictures of people without their permission!"

"I can do whatever I want." Alex took a picture of Lucie, who just rolled her eyes.

"He's been doing it ever since our dads got him a disposable camera," she said to Dane.

"Ah." Dane nodded, looking warily at Alex. "Next time just get my permission." He remembered what he was supposed to say when talking to other guys. "Dude."

Alex raised an eyebrow. "Dude?"

"Yeah. That's what normal guys say. Don't _you_ say it?" Dane sincerely hoped that Damien hadn't been lying when he'd given Dane his 'normal straight guy' lesson.

"No. But then again…" Alex smirked and took another picture. "I'm not normal."

"Yeah; you take pictures every five seconds." Dane sighed. Apparently there was no way to stop Alex from taking pictures of him.

"No. I just don't buy into the whole 'dude' and 'man' thing. But then again… I'm gay as all get out so maybe that has something to do with it?" He flashed Dane a brilliant smile and Dane forced himself to look away at Damien and Alice, who had just arrived back at the car.

"Ready?" Damien asked, his arm around Alice's waist.

"Yep." Dane slid into the car first, and was relieved when Lucie sat between him and Alex. He couldn't spend a whole car ride right next to Alex, trying to be as non-obvious as possible. Lucie and Alice didn't know about him, and it was so much easier to keep it a secret when there wasn't a hot guy sitting right next to him.

* * *

><p>Yep. It was official. Lucie hated these types of parties. She groaned, taking another sip of her coke as she scanned the room from the chair she was sitting on in the corner. She wished that Luke could be here, instead of doing whatever "holy ritual" he was dragged into performing by his father. Lucie was never one for the party scene, and neither was Luke, but at least if he were here she would have someone to talk to.<p>

Alex was snapping pictures of everyone in the room, focusing mainly on Dane, who was currently grinding against some floozy blonde that he picked up somewhere between his first and third beer. Not that he was actually enjoying it anyway. His eyes kept locking with Alex's camera from time to time, willing him to just go away. At least there would be photographic evidence of his heterosexuality.

Damien and Alice were on the dance floor, pressed up against each other so that there was no space between. Neither of them could protest though. They liked the feel of the other's body against each other. They liked the familiarity of the other.

"You're gorgeous, you know" The brunette boy whispered into his girlfriend's ear as they continued to sway to the music; kissing her softly on the sensitive spot under her ear. Alice shivered in his gentle grasp; closing her eyes and letting the world spin around her.

"I'm not." She sighed, leaning her head into his touch. "You have to say things like that because you're my boyfriend."

Damien frowned, moving his hand to spin Alice around so that her blue eyes met his green.

"I say it, because it's true," He spoke meaningfully, reaching to cup the brunette's face with his hand. He hated that Alice never saw in herself what he did, because honestly, she was beautiful.

After a beat of silence Alice brought her face up to meet her boyfriend's in the dimmed light of the party.

"I love you," She whispered before bringing their lips to meet Damien's with a slow passion that made both of their heads spin.

In what seemed like hours later, they both pulled apart with grins on their faces; simply drinking in the presence of the other.

"Let's go." grinned Alice coyly after a few seconds, grabbing Damien's hand and dragging him down the hallway to one of the open rooms.

The bass pumped through the house, making everything pass in a slow blur on the dance floor as Dane made his escape with a tall athletic blonde boy, making sure that no one saw them together as he shut the door of one of the rooms in the hallway. He needed to clear his mind right now. He was drunk. He needed someone, anyone, just so long as they weren't any of the sleazy girls that he had encountered from earlier tonight, especially when he couldn't get the grey eyes and bright smile out of his head. He didn't notice the click of the camera and said eyes widen as he made his way down the hall.

At this point Lucie decided that she honestly couldn't take the loud atmosphere of the party any longer; so she made her way through the hall in search of a room that wasn't already occupied by one of the crazy hormonal couples that had stumbled into it.

She sighed in relief upon seeing the door to one of the bedroom wide open with all the lights off inside, and decided that this meant it must be safe.

"Ungghh please," Slurred Dane into the stranger's mouth, knotting his hands into foreign hair as he fell back onto the bed.

He was only vaguely aware of the small squeak of surprise as the door shut and Lucie made her way back into the party with her mouth hung open in shock. Dane was gay? She honestly couldn't believe it. Dane, who made it a point of sleeping with every girl on campus, played for another team entirely.

She was tugged out of her train of thought, literally, when she felt Alice; t-shirt inside out, and skirt sideways, pull her towards the door.

"We're leaving, Lucie, now." She was about to open her mouth to ask why when Damien made his appearance, t-shirt half tucked into his pants, looking as though someone had just spit in his drink.

"I don't understand why you always have to ruin the moment by saying something like that!" he exclaimed, as Alice turned away from him entirely.

"I don't understand why you insist on taking everything I say so literally."

Damien looked as though he was about to make some sort of comeback, and then stopped himself in his tracks. "Can we just find Dane so we can get out of here and I can get the hell away from you?" He stalked away to look for his friend as Alice humphed in response, rolling her eyes as she turned away from Damien's general direction entirely.

Lucie motioned Alex toward her from where he was currently very interested in snapping photos of a gothic looking teen in the corner of the room. She wondered briefly if Damien knew about Dane. What would happen if he found him in there with that guy? Had Alex seen? He had that camera with him all night…

Lucie was again cast out of her thoughts by Dane's return under the scrutinizing gaze of Damien. Dane frowned, pushing his mussed hair back into place as he made his way out of the party, shortly followed by the other teens.

It was going to be a long night…


	3. Chapter 3: Busted

**AN: So here's Episode 3 of For Good! I think that flightofdeathfrench and I are becoming more and more obsessed with these characters every time we update...**

**Flightofdeathfrench wrote the first part of this chapter, and I wrote the second part!**

**Please review if you guys are reading. I know we've gotten a lot of feedback on tumblr, but it's still nice to have some reviews. We've only really gotten 1 so far, which I'm extremely grateful for.**

**Thank you for reading!**

**Episode 3: Busted**

"I wonder what he did _this_ time," Julian murmured, arm brushing against Logan's.

"Vandalism again, do you think?" Logan mused.

"Nah, he wouldn't do the same thing twice in a row."

"Probably caught in _Alice's_ room." Logan sneered as he said Damien's girlfriend's name.

Julian just laughed and pulled open the door of the principal's office.

"It's okay," Shane said, his arm wrapped protectively around Reed. "I'm sure it's something good."

"It didn't _sound_ good," Reed said, his voice shaking a bit from worry.

"But it's Lucie – I'm sure it will be fine!" Shane squeezed Reed's shoulder. "You worry too much. It's not like she would actually do anything bad. I'm sure it's something good."

"That's the second time you've said that," Reed said as he opened the door of the principal's office.

"Cheer up, Blaine." Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand.

"Cheer up?" Blaine raised an eyebrow at his husband. "Cheer up? We've been called to the principal's office at Alice's school and you want me to cheer up?"

"She probably won an award or something," Kurt said reassuringly.

Blaine just sighed.

"Oh, look!" Kurt pointed to a room on their right. "That's our old calculus class from Senior year! Remember?"

"Of course I remember," Blaine snapped.

Kurt sighed. "Just calm down. It's fine."

"If she's in trouble because of _Damien_, I will kill that boy!" Blaine fumed.

"I'm sure Damien won't even be there…" Kurt trailed off as he looked through the window in the door of the principal's office and saw Damien, Logan, and Julian all sitting there – along with Lucie, Reed, Shane, and a few other people he didn't recognize because they weren't facing him. "Okay, you just need to take a deep breath," he said, turning to Blaine.

Blaine pulled his hand away from Kurt's and crossed his arms over his chest. "Fine. I'm fine. Let's just go in."

Kurt reluctantly pulled open the door and they entered the crowded office.

"It seems that Lucie Van Kamp-Anderson, Damien Larson-Wright, Alice Hummel-Anderson, and Dane Seigerson missed curfew last night," the principal said, looking at all the parents and students crowded into the office. "This is, as I'm sure you all know," he glanced at all the assembled parents – Derek, Casey, Julian, Logan, Kurt, Blaine, Reed, and Shane, "a serious offense here at Dalton Academy. I understand that all of you are graduates of Dalton Academy, and so you understand how seriously curfew is taken."

Everyone nodded.

The four students in question were sitting in chairs set up in front of the principal's desk. Alice and Damien were on the ends, as far from each other as they could get, and Lucie sat next to her best friend, as did Dane.

"The suggested punishment is detention every day for two weeks. If anyone has any objections, please speak now."

No one spoke, though everyone had objections.

"Good. I'll see you four in room 403 right after school every weekday for two weeks, starting Monday." The principal paused and then said, "I'm surprised that you would do this, Lucie. You've never been inside this office once in your whole time here."

Lucie just blushed and looked down.

"It wasn't her fault," Alice said loudly. "We made her do it."

"You did?" The principal looked at Alice. "You're such a good student, as well, I'm surprised you would do something like this… You've always followed the rules. You know we frown upon leaving campus on weekdays-"

"It was me!" Damien interrupted loudly. "I suggested we go to the stupid party and I was supposed to be in charge of watching the time but I forgot. It wasn't Alice." He paused. "Or Lucie. Or Dane."

Alice turned to him, surprised. A small smile spread across her face, but Damien wasn't looking at her.

"Well," the principal said, "I can't say I'm terribly surprised. You really do need to focus more on your studies and less on whatever it is you focus on now, Damien."

Damien nodded and Julian put his hand on the small of Logan's back, because he could see the white in Logan's knuckles.

"You may go now."

Everyone stood up and awkwardly, silently, filed out of the office.

"Did you score though?" Derek asked Dane the moment they were in the hallway.

Casey elbowed him in the ribs but Derek was grinning at his son.

"Oh, definitely." Dane smiled. He leaned in conspiratorially. "Hot blonde. Her hair smelled like strawberries." He winked for good measure.

Derek smiled proudly. "That's my boy!"

Casey elbowed him again.

"I just cannot believe you did that!" Reed was saying as he leaned against the wall, looking at his daughter.

"I'm sorry, Papa, I didn't mean to be late coming home…"

"And you took Alexander with you!" Reed said, sighing. "You cannot take your little brother to parties like this!"

"He was visiting, Alice wanted to go…" Lucie was close to tears.

"Hey, Luce?" Shane bent down conspiratorially and whispered to her, "Next time keep an alarm on your phone so you won't come back late." He kissed her on the top of her head. She giggled.

"Shane!" Reed exclaimed angrily.

"What? Just helping out." Shane shrugged innocently.

Reed glared at his husband.

"You covered for me." Alice clasped Damien's hands. "You're so sweet. I don't know why I was mad at you."

"Well…" Damien looked away, down the hall, at his parents who were standing angrily next to a picture of the school mascot.

"Damien." Alice let go of his hands and put them on either side of his head, turning it gently so he was looking at her. "I want to be together again."

"And you know that _I_ want that too, Alice," Damien said, sounding somewhat melancholy. "But how long will that last? A week? Two?"

"We'll try harder this time!" Alice insisted.

"I've _been_ trying," Damien said, his eyes sad.

"So have I!" Alice was pleading now. "Couldn't we just try again? One more time?"

Damien sighed. "You know I can't say no to you."

Alice hugged him. "I love you, Damien."

"And I love you," Damien said, pressing his face into her hair.

"It's kind of disgusting," Logan was saying, wrinkling his nose at his son and Alice.

"What, heterosexuality?" Julian smirked at his own joke.

"Shut up, that's not what I mean."

"I'm just proud of you for not killing the principal," Julian said.

"Shut _up_."

"What? I'm just sharing my feelings with you. Am I allowed to do that?"

"No!"

"Okay, fine."

"I wanted to."

"Wanted to what?"

"Kill that stupid principal."

"Hey." Derek tapped Logan and Julian on their shoulders, and they turned in unison. "We're gonna go. Are we still good for dinner on Tuesday?"

"Yeah, definitely." Julian smiled at his best friend.

"Alright, see you guys!" Derek waved as he and Casey walked away.

* * *

><p>"Dane!"<p>

"Alex?"

"Hey." The photographer huffed as he made his way over to the brunette boy in the middle of the hallway. "You aren't exactly the most easy person to catch up to, you know that...dude?" Alex laughed, earning a blush that was thinly veiled by annoyance from the boy in question.

"You're never going to let me forget that, are you?" Dane groaned.

Alex flashed the older boy a toothy grin.

"Not on your life...dude." Dane rolled his eyes, trying desperately to ignore the gray eyes that were trained on him with amusement and something else entirely.

"So..." He began in a lame attempt to disperse the awkward silence, "What exactly are you doing here?"

"Oh..." For the first time Dane had ever been in his presence, Alex seemed unsure of himself. "I...here." He fumbled through the haphazard messenger bag that was slung over his shoulder and pulled out a roll of film, thrusting it into the hands of the other boy.

"What is..." Dane began, turning the rolls of film over a few times in his hands as though there was some sort of secret behind them that he just wasn't getting.

"It's the film I used...from the party." Alex ran a hand through his unruly hair uncomfortably. "There are some pictures on there that I didn't think you'd want other people to see..."

The other boy's eyes widened considerably, staring down at the rolls of film in his hands as though they were bombs. He knew that Alex had been taking pictures of him for most of the party, but the thought that he might have seen him sneaking off with that guy hadn't even crossed his mind. There was still the chance that he wasn't talking about that at all, though, and Dane wasn't going to give away any more information than he had to, so he leaned nonchalantly against one of the lockers.

"Oh?" He didn't know if he trusted himself to say much more. Alex looked as though he didn't buy the act.

"I think you and I both know exactly what I'm talking about." He narrowed his eyes at Dane, who inwardly flinched, taking a deep breath in through his nose.

"So...what I'm guessing is..." He began, almost unsure of how to continue. He didn't know if he could say it out loud, not with those gray eyes trained on him. "You saw?" He finished weakly.

"I saw." Alex answered simply, as though waiting for Dane to elaborate on the subject before saying anything else.

"Wait, what did you see exactly? Just making sure that we're both on the same page here."

Alex rolled his eyes, pulling Dane into the nearest empty classroom and shutting the door behind both of them.

"What the hell Alex! Give a guy a warning next time, huh?" Dane straightened his blazer, backing away from the other boy, who didn't falter.

"You and I both know what is photographed on those rolls of film, and it's not my secret to tell," the younger boy responded, though not unkindly.

Dane slammed his hand against one of the desks in frustration; causing Alex to jump before the room reverted back to a painful silence that stretched on for an unknown amount of time.

"It's not so easy you know. It's not easy for me like it was for you," Dane sighed finally, defeated. "I can't just walk up to my dad one day and go, 'Hey dad, I'm _gay_." The last part came out strangled, as though it burnt his tongue to say.

Alex moved across the room to sit on the empty desk next to the older boy.

"I know that. That's why I gave you the film," he spoke gently, after a beat of silence. "I know it's not easy. I was lucky. I mean, I have two dads. They can't exactly object to me being gay." Dane looked up at Alex for the first time and cracked a small smile. "Your dad is best friends with Damien's dads though, right? I'm sure he'd accept you."

"You don't think I haven't thought of that already?" Dane snapped, before apologizing, "Sorry. It's just...my dad is always talking about how he wants me to get with all these girls. I mean, when he was in high school he had seven girlfriends at a time on an off day. He's always talking about how he wants me to 'score' just like he did. It's almost like some kind of sport to him." Alex looked as though he was about to open his mouth say something, before Dane continued on his rant, "I just...I don't want that at all. It sounds stupid and cliché, but I just want to be able to date someone that I actually want to without my Dad being disappointed in me."

The click of a camera cast Dane out of his thoughts, meeting the concerned gray eyes of the photographer with a questioning gaze of his own.

"I'm sorry," he spoke finally, "I...I like to capture people exactly as they are; without any sort of front." he shrugged; turning his head down to look at his shoes self-consciously. "That, was you. The real you." He smiled leaning closer to Dane, "and between you and me, I'd choose that Dane over the womanizer any day...dude."

Dane was still trying to think up a coherent response as Alex made his way out of the room. It was only when he was left alone in the dark room that he let a small smile creep on his lips, turning the roll of film over in his hands.


	4. Chapter 4: Text

"I can not believe that the one party I miss you get a detention because of! It's not fair! I always miss the fun stuff!" Luke waved his hands around spasmodically, earning a small giggle from Lucie.

"I don't think you could actually call getting detention every day after school for two weeks 'fun'," she countered with a small smile. "And besides, now I won't have time to go to volunteer at the hospital as much as I used to be able to." At least it would be easier to hide it from Alice.

It wasn't that Lucie was just trying to keep secrets from her friend, but volunteering at the hospital was HER thing. Alice always wanted to do everything that Lucie wanted to do, and she needed something that was strictly hers without Alice intervening. Besides, Alice would probably just laugh at her. Volunteering at a hospital wasn't exactly the definition of "cool" in her friend's mind.

"I could take over your shift if you want," Luke blurted out suddenly, meeting Lucie's surprised expression. "I-I mean if you needed someone to...and I really have nothing else to do..."

"Really?"

"Yeah." Luke smiled, running a hand through his hair self-consciously. "My dad thinks I'm possessed by some sort of demon anyway. Maybe this will throw him off track a little."

The two laughed, grinning broadly at each other in a way that made Luke look away red faced. They continued to walk in a comfortable silence, which was broken by Lucie expressing her thanks.

"Anything to make you happy," he whispered, more to himself than actually to Lucie.

"Huh?"

"I-erm-I just said don't mention it."

"Oh." Lucie tried to hide her disappointment as they reached Room 403, because really, she had no right to be. "Well thanks for walking me here..." She sighed with a small smile. "It really means a lot to me, you know."

"Oh-well-I mean...I could every day...if you want..."

"I'd like that." Luke released a huge breath that he didn't realize that he was holding in.

"Me too," he blurted out, before really having time to think about what he had just said. "I-erm-bye then, I guess." Lucie giggled as he stumbled away almost bumping into one of the lockers.

"Bye Luke."

**1 new message**

Lucie felt a buzz in her blazer pocket a little more than halfway through their detention, which passed on particularly uneventful. Alice and Damien passed notes the whole time, earning them a glare from the teacher, who consequently did nothing to stop them.

**Dane: Can I have your bro's number?**

Dane fidgeted in his seat, pretending to be overly interested in his notebook.

**Lucie: Why?**

Lucie rose a questioning eyebrow at the boy from across the room. She knew that he and her brother had been talking a lot before the party, but why would he want his number? Unless...no. Definitely not. There was no way that Lucie was going to get Alex involved in Dane's closeted drama.

**Dane: We talked a lot. I just want to text him. He seemed cool.**

Even Dane knew how fake that sounded. He was hardly shocked when he heard Lucie scoff from the other side of the room; earning them both another glare from the teacher. Lucie blushed and then hid her phone under her bag and hastily texted back.

**Lucie: Are you sure there isn't something else?**

Dane wasn't sure how to respond at this point. How was he supposed to tell her why he wanted to talk to her brother without her finding out about his secret? Before he could respond, his phone buzzed with another text.

**Lucie: I have to ask you something after class. Meet me outside the room.**

What could she possibly want to talk about? Dane groaned; shutting his phone and sliding it back into his jean pocket. It had been stupid to ask her for his number anyway. Of course she would want to know why.

There were only ten minutes to wait until their detention ended, and he dreaded every second that ticked by wondering what she would want to talk with him about.

"You wanted to talk?" Dane leaned against one of the lockers in the hallway after Damien and Alice had run off to hang out back at Stuart. Lucie seemed to be mentally debating something with herself before she nodded; kicking her shoes into the floor.

"Um...it's about the party," she began; before being interrupted by a loud groan from next to her.

"You know now too? Did he tell you? Ugh I knew it!" Lucie's eyes widened considerably, backing away from Dane.

"What are you talking about? Calm down! Who told me what?"

Dane physically relaxed. Maybe she didn't know after all.

"Just...nevermind. What about the party?" Lucie took a deep breath; praying to all things holy that what she was going to say next didn't earn an equally spasmodic outburst.

"I-erm-saw you with a guy..."

"Shhh. Not so loud!" Dane grabbed Lucie by the arm and ushered her into the nearest classroom, much like Alex had done the prior day. "Okay. Now. What did you see exactly?"

Lucie yanked herself away from Dane's grasp; rubbing her arm slightly.

"You and that guy...together. I think you know what I mean." Dane looked away as Lucie leaned in closer and whispered, "You're gay, Dane?"

Dane tried desperately not to flinch as the words left her mouth; letting silence fall over the two before he could think up any form of response.

"I...yes," he sighed finally. "And Alex knows too. That's why I wanted his number. He's the only other person outside of Damien that knows. And now you do too, obviously," he added; still not daring to meet her eyes.

"Dane...you know I'm not going to tell anyone, right?" He seemed to consider this for a second before looking up from his shoes for the first time.

"So does that mean I can have his number?"

Lucie laughed, rolling her eyes.

**Text received from…**

**Dane: **Hey dude. It's Dane.

**Alex: **I gathered as much from the 'dude.'

**Dane: **Does it bother you so much?

**Alex: **A little bit.

**Dane: **Dude. Dude. Dudedudedudedudedude.

**Alex: **How did you get my number?

**Dane: **Your sister gave it to me, dude.

**Alex: **If you don't stop that right now I will stop talking to you forever.

**Dane: **Dude.

**Alex: **…

**Dane: **Sorry dude. I'll stop. Dude.

**Alex: **You know it's only funny when I do it.

**Dane: **I don't know, I'm cracking up over here.

**Alex: **Well, I'm glad you're having fun then. Asshole.

**Dane: **Wow. Language.

**Alex:** At least I got you to stop saying dude. :)

**Dane:** Dude, that is impressive.

**Alex:** Okay, fun story time: I'm in the car with my dads on the way home to the city and I just started laughing when you said that and then my dad wanted to see the phone and my other dad wanted to see the crack I was on.

**Dane: **Great, now _I'm_ laughing and Damien thinks I've lost it.

**Alex: **Just tell him you're texting a guy.

**Dane: **Just give your dad the crack.

**Alex: **Touché.

**Dane: **Shit, I have to go. Studying.

**Alex: **Study hard and drop me another line sometime!

**Dane: **Will-do.

**Alex: **You said you'd drop me another line!

**Dane: **I said I'd drop you another line sometime. That doesn't mean tomorrow.

**Alex: **You did not say that. You definitely said tomorrow.

**Dane: **I did! I just checked and that's exactly what I said.

**Alex: **…

**Dane: **You honestly thought I would fall for that?

**Alex: **Well, I could only hope you weren't as dumb as you look.

**Dane: **Wow. You really know how to make a guy feel good.

**Alex: **Damn right I do.

**Dane: **Get your mind out of the gutter.

**Alex:** At least my dad didn't throw it in there.

**Alex: **Shit. I'm sorry.

**Dane: **You should be.

**Alex: **You hate me now, don't you?

**Dane: **No, I don't.

**Alex: **Yes. You do. That's why you didn't respond right away.

**Dane:** I have a life, you know! I'm not just sitting here texting you!

**Alex:** Well then I'm glad you pause every now and then in your busy schedule to grace me with your presence.

**Dane: **That's not what I mean and you know it.

**Alex: **Let's start this whole conversation over again.

**Dane: **Okay, you start.

**Alex: **No, if you initiated it would make my day!

**Dane:** Really?

**Alex: **Of course.

**Dane: **That's kind of sad.

**Alex: **Just text me and say 'hello' or something, please?

**Dane: **Hello or something, please.

**Alex: **Oh wow. You are SO funny.

**Dane: **I know.

**Alex: **Hate to burst your bubble, but that was sarcastic.

**Dane:** …it WAS?

**Alex: **Yeah.

**Dane: **'Hate to burst your bubble,' but that was sarcastic too.

**Alex: **Oh really?

**Dane: **This is a never-ending circle we've just entered.

**Alex: **Doo doo doo doo.

**Dane: **What?

**Alex: **The Twilight Zone. Man, get it together!

**Dane: **That was totally out of left field, you could not have expected me to get that!

**Alex: **Sorry. I just expected too much of you. Won't let it happen again.

**Dane: **…now you think I'm an idiot. Great.

**Alex: **I do not think you're an idiot. You're really smart.

**Dane:** You're just saying that.

**Alex: **I am not!

**Dane: **How could you possibly know?

**Alex: **You go to Dalton Academy.

**Dane: **Good point. And speaking of… Baseball practice. Text you later?

**Alex: **Sure.


	5. Chapter 5:Truth

**AN: So this chapter is entirely made up of a Dalex text conversation. Flightofdeathfrench and I actually wrote this on facebook as a sort of roleplay thing... The next chapter will also involve Dalex texts, but to a lesser extent. **

**Chapter 5: Truth**

**Alex:**

Hey

**Dane:**

hi

**Alex:**

Well, this conversation is really going places

**Dane:**

I know, it's absolutely riveting.

**Alex:**

Alright enough of the awkward convo. Let's play a game.

**Dane:**

Oh but the awkward convo was so much fun!

What game?

**Alex:**

This is a game of life or death. This is a game of your surival

**Dane:**

Wow. Random horror movie fan, are we?

**Alex:**

What can I say? I'm multi-dimensional.

**Dane:**

Clearly. So, this game.

**Alex:**

Truth. You've played before right?

**Dane:**

I've also breathed, eaten, peed, and slept before.

**Alex:**

So I'm going to take that sarcastic remark as a yes.

**Dane:**

It was a no. Please, explain to me. I unzip my pants, then I pee? Or...?

**Alex:**

Just shutup.

Do you want to play or not?

**Dane:**

If I respond to this with another sarcastic remark would you kill me?

Yes, I'll play.

**Alex:**

You know Dane, if you wanted me to get my mind out of the gutter I don't think that last comment was the way to do it.

**Dane:**

No seriously, I'm having some legitimate trouble with this. Do I lift the seat and then whip it out, or what?

Okay but actually let's just play the game.

**Alex:**

Alright alright. You go first, or are you still trying to figure out the mechanics over there?

**Dane:**

Yeah, I'll figure it all out while we play.

**Alex:**

Literally?

**Dane:**

Literally

**Alex:**

Well then, I guess it's better if I get to know you a bit better first. I'm not usually so forward

**Dane:**

Whatever you say, Alex... You start the game.

**Alex:**

Fine. What is the most embarrassing situation you've gotten yourself into. I'm sure there's a list, but do try to narrow it down to one.

**Dane:**

Oh shut up or I'm not playing.

But okay.

When my dad shoved me into a room with a girl and she thought I was straight and really wanted to kiss me and I had to kiss her back and she kept trying to unbutton my pants. -shudder-

It was embarrassing explaining that I didn't want to have sex with her.

You know?

**Alex:**

I can't say that I personally know, but I can imagine.

your turn

**Dane:**

Okay. Conversely. What is the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to YOU?

**Alex:**

Well, this is kind of hard. I think it would have to be the time that my grandmother tried to get me to be in this photoshoot and I was just extremely uncomfortable. The photos are probably still out there too...

**Dane:**

...Hold on I'm gonna go google your name to find it.

**Alex:**

NO

DON'T PLEASE

**Dane:**

Then why would you say something about it?

**Alex:**

ANYTHING YOU WANT IS YOURS

...

Fine

go look.

**Dane:**

Nah I'm having fun with this game. Maybe later. It's your turn now.

**Alex:**

Hmm. Why did you ask Lucie for my phone number?

**Dane:**

Oh that's easy. Because you seemed like an awesome guy.

**Alex:**

Oh did I now?

**Dane:**

Of course you did.

**Alex:**

Well...thanks

**Dane:**

Okay is it my turn now?

**Alex:**

You got it

**Dane:**

Hm... Why are you texting me right now?

**Alex:**

I wanted to talk to you.

**Dane:**

Wow. That answer. Wow.

**Alex:**

Well obviously. Why would I text you for any other reason?

Were you expecting something else?

**Dane:**

...no.

**Alex:**

Alright well it's my turn.

What answer were you expecting?

**Dane:**

Something along the lines of 'Because you're an amazing human being. And you're hot.'

**Alex:**

Wow. That wasn't vain at all.

**Dane:**

...so you're saying it isn't true?

**Alex:**

Maybe.

**Dane:**

Wow thanks. Okay it's my turn. And my question is: Do you think I'm hot?

**Alex:**

I don't know, it depends. Are you wearing a sweater?

**Dane:**

...no?

**Alex:**

Then I guess you must be pretty hot.

You obviously aren't cold

**Dane:**

I am not going to grace that with a response.

I'm fairly certain that's against the rules of the game.

**Alex:**

You asked if you were hot.

I answered.

I don't see the problem here.

**Dane:**

It's your turn, you horrible person.

**Alex:**

Well, do you think that I'm attractive? (HA! FIND A LOOPHOLE IN THAT I DARE YOU)

**Dane:**

Yes, it's been scientifically proven that every object of mass is attracted to every other object of mass. So I'd say you're definitely a body of mass, therefore, you are attractive.

**Alex:**

...

...

**Dane:**

My turn!

**Alex:**

...

**Dane**:

Do my outward appearances (the way my face looks) appeal to you?

**Alex:**

Alright fine. Yes.

**Dane:**

Aw, thank you.

**Alex:**

And his head expands

**Dane:**

Not possible, actually.

I do believe it is your turn, my fine fellow.

**Alex:**

Do you find my outer appearance (My physical appearance. The way I look) to be appealing?

**Dane:**

Yes I do.

(long pause)

WELL IS IT MY TURN?

**Alex:**

IMPATIENT

Yes it is your turn.

**Dane:**

You weren't saying anything and I finished peeing ages ago! I got bored.

Okay.

Uh.

Favorite memory, GO!

**Alex:**

Oh that's easy. When I got my first camera. I remember it was just some cheesy canon throw away thing, but I ran around the house taking pictures of everything like I was some sort of paparazzi or something. Lucie got really annoyed, but I remember that was the first time I had really found my thing, you know?

**Dane:**

Yeah. I wish I knew. I don't really have a 'thing.'

**Alex:**

Well, from what I saw at sectionals, you're a pretty skilled dancer.

**Dane:**

I guess but that can't be my 'thing' because my dad wouldn't approve of me being a freaking dancer.

**Alex:**

He saw you at sectionals didn't he?

**Dane:**

Unless he was too busy kissing my mom, then yes.

**Alex:**

Well then doesn't he already know you dance...?

**Dane:**

Yeah but there's a difference between doing something and it being your 'thing.'

**Alex:**

I guess that's true...

It's your turn.

**Dane:**

No, it's your turn.

I asked you about your favorite memory.

**Alex:**

Oh.

**Dane:**

and don't you dare ask me that same thing.

**Alex:**

Fine.

Hmm. When did you know you were gay?

**Dane:**

(awkward, long silence from Dane)

**Alex:**

Sorry, should I ask something else?

**Dane:**

YES!

**Alex:**

Okay...

**Dane:**

Thank you.

**Alex:**

Do you get annoyed with me?

**Dane:**

When you ask me questions like that first one, yes. Every other time, not really.

**Alex**:

Okay. Now, it's your turn.

**Dane:**

Are you mad at me at this very moment?

**Alex:**

I'm not mad at you. I understand you don't want to talk about it.

**Dane:**

Good.

I guess it's your turn again.

**Alex:**

What were you doing when I texted you?

**Dane:**

Thinking about how I had to pee.

**Alex:**

Lol. Seriously?

You're full of it.

**Dane:**

Pee, yeah!

Or at least, I was.

**Alex:**

DANE!

your turn.

**Dane:**

Uh. Okay here's a good one. Since apparently we're focusing on the gayness of ourselves tonight, when was the moment that YOU figured out you were gay, Mr. Comfortable In His Sexuality?

**Alex:**

Okay, this is kind of embarrassing.

**Dane:**

It was Uncle Jesse on Full House, wasn't it?

**Alex:**

DANE! LET ME TYPE

**Dane:**

It is. Now you have to change your answer.

**Alex:**

Okay, so I was at this school dance thing and my best friend Barbra asked me to dance. So I did and it was all awkward middle school romance. And then she kissed me, and I just knew.

100 percent gay.

**Dane:**

And then you turned on the TV and saw Uncle Jesse and you were like, "110% GAY!"

**Alex:**

Do you have a little crush you want to talk about?

**Dane:**

OKAY YOUR TURN!

**Alex:**

SO YOU DO

Okay fine. I'll humor you.

What color underwear are you wearing?

**Dane:**

I'm not wearing underwear.

Does that turn you on?

**Alex:**

That is such a pick up line.

**Dane:**

Yeah. Did it work?

**Alex:**

Sorry, those cheesy one liners don't work on me.

You're going to have to try a little harder

**Dane:**

Shit.

It's actually blue.

And you? (That's my question.)

**Alex:**

black.

Does THAT turn you on

**Dane:**

No, that wasn't a pick up line.

**Alex:**

I just thought the idea of the boy you find attractive in underwear would be enough.

**Dane:**

You'd think the idea of the boy you find attractive WITHOUT underwear would be enough, too, but life's full of little mysteries like that, isn't it?

**Alex:**

Are you trying to flirt with me?

(that's my question)

**Dane:**

No, I'm not TRYING. I'm succeeding.

Is it working?

**Alex:**

A little bit.

**Dane:**

Good, then I'm doing my job right.

**Alex:**

Your turn.

unless that was your question.

**Dane:**

Is it working was my question.

**Alex:**

fine.

So why are you trying so hard?

**Dane:**

I don't have to try hard, this comes naturally.

**Alex:**

That wasn't an answer.

**Dane:**

Yes, it was. It came after the question. It was an answer.

**Alex:**

But you didn't actually ANSWER anything.

I demand a real answer.

**Dane:**

Well what if I don't give you one?

**Alex:**

Then I guess I'll just have to wonder

**Dane:**

I guess you will.

**Alex:**

Your turn.

**Dane:**

Why do you want a real answer so badly?

**Alex:**

I'm just curious.

**Dane:**

'Just curious' my ass.

**Alex:**

Hey, it's an answer.

**Dane:**

...fine. Your turn.

**Alex:**

Did you really miss me when you said you did earlier?

**Dane:**

Yes.

**Alex:**

Your turn.

**Dane:**

Okay last one then I'm going to pass out of tiredness.

So it better be good, huh?

Hm...

Do you have a crush on anyone?

**Alex:**

(long pause)

yes.

**Dane:**

SHIT. I SHOULD'VE MADE A LOOPHOLE WHERE YOU HAD TO CLARIFY!

**Alex:**

Only one per turn

sorry

**Dane:**

...okay two more turns. You then me.

**Alex:**

Do YOU have a crush on anyone?

**Dane:**

Yes.

Who do you have a crush on, and you have to be specific and you have to give me first and last name.

**Alex:**

(long pause)

Dane. Seigerson.

**Dane:**

Okay, you gotta ask me the same thing.

**Alex:**

...Fine. Who do you have a crush on, names are a must. first and last.

**Dane:**

Alexander Van Kamp-Anderson.

**Alex:**

Oh.

**Dane:**

Oh.

**Alex:**

So...

**Dane:**

Well.

**Alex:**

You have a crush on me then?

**Dane:**

No. I have a crush on the other guy with your exact same name.

Who looks like you.

Who I'm texting right now.

**Alex:**

Oh I figured

Seriously though

Really?

**Dane:**

And of course you have a crush on the Dane Seigerson from Alaska who tweets about fly-fishing.

**Alex:**

of course.

**Dane:**

Yeah, really.

**Alex:**

I do too...

**Dane:**

Then I guess we have one option.

**Alex:**

which is?

**Dane:**

We can be boyfriends.

**Alex:**

But, you aren't out yet.

How will that work?

and I live in New York.

**Dane:**

That's not for us to worry about right now. Just forget about the real world, just for tonight, and say you'll be my boyfriend?

**Alex:**

Okay. I'll be your boyfriend.

**Dane:**

Good.

**Alex:**

Now I really do have to come back to Dalton soon

**Dane:**

You REALLY do.


	6. Chapter 6: Transfer

**Disclaimer: We do not own any of the Dalton or Glee characters. We don't own the school or the houses. We only own our original characters!**

**AN: Well, here is an extra long chapter of 'For Good'! We've really tried to touch on each of the character's storylines at least once in this chapter, so I hope you enjoy our efforts. All of the Dalex texts are written by both flightofdeathfrench and me. We had a little too much fun with those XD. We literally passed the keyboard back and forth. I was Alex, and she was Dane. The later conversation was on AIM instant messenger. DON'T JUDGE US! Everything else was written by me, except for the scene with Dane and Damien at the party.**

**We've been so grateful for all of your feedback, and we hope you continue to read and review!**

**As per request by a reviewer, here is a list of the characters and their respective parents:**

**Dane Seigerson- Derek Seigerson and Casey Lambert.**

**Damien Larson-Wright- Logan Wright and Julian Larson-Armstrong**

**Alice Hummel-Anderson- Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson**

**Lucie and Alexander (Alex) Van Kamp-Anderson- Reed Van Kamp and Shane Anderson**

**Fred and Georgia Brightman (They haven't really been in this story, but they were in the Warblers in the first chapter and the one shot that inspired this called, 'Reunion')- The Tweedles and their future wives (who we have not determined.)**

**Luke Houston - Dwight Houston and his nameless wife.**

**So without further or do, here is the chapter!**

**Chapter 6: Transfer**

**Dane:**I want to know what your favorite food is so I can get some for you when you come.

**Alex:**Peanut butter and jelly...Don't judge! That stuff is good!

**Dane:** Damn right it is.

**Dane:**I actually have like a whole stash in my dorm room so I don't even have to go buy you any.

**Alex:** A stash? For those special emergencies huh?

**Alex:** You don't have to buy me anything anyway though, you know.

**Dane:** PB&J emergencies are the most serious kind.

**Dane**: And what if I want to?

**Alex:** Well you're just going to do it anyway so there's no use convincing you otherwise.

**Dane:**Um let's see... What's your second favorite kind of food?

**Alex:**Ramen noodles

**Dane:**Give me something real!

**Alex:**Real? Are you insinuating my food choice is below par?

**Dane:**YES

**Dane:**I WANT YOU TO SAY LIKE CREM BRU LAY OR SOMETHING (definitely spelled wrong)

**Dane:** LIKE GIVE ME A TURKEY DINNER OR SOMETHING TO BUY YOU

**Alex:**I don't need you to buy me anything like that! I eat total crap anyway!

**Dane:**You are what you eat...

**Dane:** Sorry that was mean.

**Dane:**I'll get you ramen noodles.

**Dane:**The chicken flavor is the best but I'll steal the beef and shrimp flavors out of the other packages so you can choose accordingly.

**Alex:**My hero :P

**Dane:**Breaking the law for you since 2011.

**Alex:**Speaking of being what you eat. What kind of REAL food do you like Mr. Culinary?

**Dane:**Uh. I love steak.

**Alex:**Wow. That is some real food right there.

**Dane:**Isn't it though?

**Alex:**Okay, I'll admit, steak is good.

**Alex:**But so are Ramen noodles

**Dane:**Thank you!

**Dane:**and Touche.

**Dane:**ExCUSE me for wanting to be chivalrous!

**Alex:**HA.

**Alex:**YOU.

**Alex:**Just kidding, you know I appreciate it.

**Dane:**What is THAT supposed to mean?

**Alex:**I just appreciate that you're trying to do nice things for me.

**Dane:**If you appreciated it you would've been like, "Dane you're my hero!" instead of "my hero :P"

**Alex:**You know my sarcasm has a mind of its own.

**Dane:**Clearly.

**Alex:**But seriously though, I really do appreciate it.

**Dane:**How very sweet of you to say.

**Alex:**I thought so.

**Dane:** And the sarcasm makes a return.

* * *

><p>"Like this?" Luke stepped away from the bed to let Lucie examine his handiwork. It had been a long day of training for Luke to be able to take Lucie's place volunteering at the Hospital, but he couldn't say that he minded all the extra time with the strawberry blonde.<p>

"Well...it's closer than last time, but not exactly." Lucie smiled warmly at Luke's confusion and knelt down next to the bed. "You have to remember not to make the triangles too big or the sheet will come undone easily." She undid the sheet from the mattress and smoothed it back over the bed again. "Try it one more time. You're picking things up pretty quickly. I took a while to learn all of this stuff back in orientation."

Luke groaned; picking up the sheet and tucking the end into the far side of the bed as Lucie had taught him. He licked his lips in concentration, folding the end of the sheet into a triangle and tucking it under the bed. He did the same to the other side, and then moved to put the comforter on in the same fashion. When he was done, he looked hesitantly up at his teacher; who was grinning proudly.

"There! You did it! I told you that you'd get it eventually." Luke looked away, a bit embaressed by the praise.

"Thanks. You were a great teacher." Now it was Lucie's turn to blush and mutter her thanks, her embarrassment went virtually unnoticed by her friend. "What else does this hospital work entail? Carrying out dead bodies? Brain surgery?" he joked, sitting down on the bed next to Lucie, who was suppressing a giggle.

"I think we'll spare you from the brain surgery this time around. All you have to do is talk to the patients. You know, read to them, play with the younger kids. That sort of thing. It's not really all that hard. It's actually my favorite part of the job." Lucie smiled to herself; as though lost in her own thoughts.

"You really love this stuff don't you? The helping people, " Luke asked suddenly, as though he had only just realized he said it out loud.

"Yeah. I do."

Their eyes met for a moment, before both of them looked away. Lucie cleared her throat.

"So...um...that's about everything you need. Just let me know if you have any problems, okay?"

Luke nodded, gathering up his things from the bedside table.

"You know, I really can't thank you enough for this. No one else would have volunteered in my place. No one else even knows I do this."

"Why not?"

"It's complicated. Mostly Alice. It's just...this is my thing. Alice has always been in every other club that I have, and don't get me wrong, I love her, but sometimes I just need to do something for myself." she adverted her eyes from Luke, looking out the window to the courtyard.

Luke frowned, moving to stand next to Lucie by the window.

"I won't tell her if you don't want me to. I won't tell anyone." Lucie turned around to meet Luke's eyes that held nothing but utter compassion. "You're doing what you love: helping people, and I think that's pretty amazing, whether anyone else thinks so or not."

Lucie smiled, pecking Luke on the cheek hesitantly, before jumping back, a blush covering her features.

"Thanks."

"Any time."

* * *

><p>"Dad..." Alex knocked on the door to his father's room hesitantly. He knew that his Papa wouldn't be home for another hour from his job, but his dad had gotten home over an hour ago. Somehow he figured there would be a great success rate if he talked to them both separately.<p>

"What's up Alex?" His dad emerged from the room almost immediately in a mess of curly black hair and worn out t-shirt.

Alex shifted uncomfortably for a moment.

"I have to tell you something."

"Oh God...is it the crack?" Shane joked, motioning for Alex to sit on the bed with him. Alex rolled his eyes.

"Daaaad." he smiled; before remembering why he was actually there, "I'm not on crack. I swear. It's nothing bad. Well, I hope you don't take it badly."

Shane waited patiently with a small smirk as he watched his son ramble on to himself for a few minutes.

"You know you can just tell me whatever you have to tell me Alex. I promise not to freak out."

Alex sighed; wringing his hands together for a good minute before actually looking up at his father.

"I don't know how to say this...but...you know how I've been glued to my phone lately?" He let out a sort of nervous chuckle, eyeing his dad's amused expression apprehensively. "Well, there is a reason for that, other than my new found popularity." This was it. No turning back now. "Dad, I have a boyfriend."

At this point Alex had shut his eyes, expecting some sort of outburst of rage. He was completely shocked when he heard a completely different kind of outburst.

"I'm sorry, Alex, but honestly, I already suspected as much. I mean, come on, you ARE my son, after all." Watching his son's amused expression he explained, "The Andersons tend to get obsessive."

"I'm not obsessive!" Alex protested, "I just like texting him a lot. It's not a crime." Shane only shook his head; trying desperately to contain his own amusement.

"So, who is this boyfriend of yours anyway? Someone I would know?" Alex turned his head downward. It wasn't that he suspected his dad not to ask for a name, but this was the part that he was particularly hesitant about. He knew that his parents had probably heard about Dane's womanizing ways from Lucie and Alice, and he didn't want them to judge him before they even got the chance to know him.

"DaneSeigerson," he mumbled.

"I'm sorry who?" There was no possible way that Shane could have heard him correctly.

"Dane Seigerson," he repeated, still not daring to look his dad in the eye.

"As in the son of Derek Seigerson, Dane Seigerson?" Shane nearly choked.

"That would be the one." Alex ran a hand through his hair; trying to ignore the look on his dad's face.

"I didn't know that Dane was gay."

"Well...most people don't." Oh boy, now he was going to get the inevitable lecture.

"So he's not out yet?"

"No." Shane seemed to consider this for a moment.

"But isn't Derek best friends with Logan and Julian?"

"Who?"

"Damien's parents."

"Oh. Yeah. I think."

Shane seemed confused for a second, opening his mouth to say something, before thinking better of it.

"Well, I'm happy for you, son. I really hope it all works out."

"Me too..." he admitted, letting a small smile sneak onto his lips. "How do you think Papa will react when I tell him?"

Another boom of laughter echoed throughout the room.

"We'll just have to wait and see, now won't we?"

* * *

><p>"Aren't you going to eat anything?" Damien eyed his girlfriend's untouched salad incredulously;<p>

taking a swig of his coke.

Alice looked down at her food as though she had only just realized it was there.

"Um. No. I had a really big breakfast, and I'm just not hungry. I'll eat something later." She shrugged, pushing the food around her plate uninterested.

"You should eat _something_though. We have a big Warbler practice today." Alice mumbled something under her breath; making small patterns on her tray with her finger.

"I can take care of myself," she snapped.

"I know you can. I'm just making sure that you don't forget the basic necessities, you know, eating, drinking...breathing." Damien smirked, raising an eyebrow at his girlfriend, who was anything but amused. "Don't want you fainting on stage at Regionals."

"Not that I don't find your humor absolutely, riveting, but I have to go get something from my dorm before I go to my next class." Alice picked up her full tray and threw it in the trash. Damien following close behind.

"Well, if you do get hungry like every other human being tends to, take this." He thrust an apple into Alice's hands.

"Thanks." She smiled, putting the apple into the bag, "I'll see you in Warbler Hall, okay?"

"Wait! Not so fast! Don't I get a kiss or anything? I mean I _did_just give you an apple after all." Alice grinned, raising an eyebrow playfully at her boyfriend.

"I guess I could spare one kiss." She pulled Damien by the tie, bringing their lips together in a soft lingering embrace.

"Now go finish your lunch!" Alice laughed, pushing him away and running back out the door, leaving a grinning Damien behind.

* * *

><p><em>People were everywhere, all around them. It was the first time Dane had ever drunk anything alcoholic – he was only 13, after all. Damien was standing next to him, saying something loudly about the game they were playing. Dane focused and realized that Damien was saying that it was his turn.<em>

_Dane leaned forward and gave the glass bottle a spin. It spun and spun and spun and then everyone started laughing and cat-calling and saying things loudly._

_Dane followed the tip of the bottle to Damien. Oh._

_Damien…_

_"We have to," he said, shrugging._

_Damien shrugged too. "It's the rules," he agreed._

_"Then let's…" Dane leaned forward. Damien grabbed the back of his head and pulled him into a rough kiss. Damien's lips felt good… Dane tangled his hands in Damien's hair and allowed himself to get lost in Damien's kiss._

_Damien pulled back after only a little while. "Wow," he said, grinning._

_Dane looked at him with wide eyes. Had he really just done that…?_

_"What did you think of that kiss?" Damien asked, lying across his bed on his back._

_Dane was staying the night at Damien's house, which he was glad for._

_"It was…" Dane was still a little drunk. "Good."_

_"Good?" Damien sat up to look at Dane, who was sitting on his sleeping bag on the floor._

_"Yeah." Dane shrugged. "It wasn't that bad."_

_"Do you want to…" Damien slid off the bed and onto the floor in front of Dane. He put his hand on the back of Dane's head and gently pulled him forward._

_Dane closed the distance rapidly, and they were kissing again._

* * *

><p><strong>Dane Seigerson (11:11:11 PM):<strong>

Dude, you're here?

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:11:20 PM):**

Dude...you're here...?

**Dane Seigerson (11:11:26 PM):**

Naw.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:11:29 PM):**

IT'S 11:11!

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:11:31 PM):**

MAKE A WISH

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:11:32 PM):**

QUICK

**Dane Seigerson (11:11:34 PM):**

MAKE A WISH

**Dane Seigerson (11:11:35 PM):**

OHMYGOSH

**Dane Seigerson (11:11:36 PM):**

THE PRESSURE

**Dane Seigerson (11:11:57 PM):**

Phew

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:11:59 PM):**

Okay.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:12:01 PM):**

We made it.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:12:04 PM):**

Got all our wishes.

**Dane Seigerson (11:12:04 PM):**

That was a close one.

**Dane Seigerson (11:12:12 PM):**

What did you wish for?

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:12:22 PM):**

You can't TELL what you wish for.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:12:25 PM):**

Everyone knows that.

**Dane Seigerson (11:12:42 PM):**

...I was just hoping that maybe you would make an exception for an extremely special person (me).

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:14:06 PM):**

Well, what did YOU wish for?

**Dane Seigerson (11:14:16 PM):**

'You can't TELL what you wish for. Everyone knows that.'

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:14:26 PM):**

Hypocrite.

**Dane Seigerson (11:14:33 PM):**

I was simply quoting.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:14:56 PM):**

Well, ' ...I was just hoping that maybe you would make an exception for an extremely special person (me).'

**Dane Seigerson (11:15:19 PM):**

'Well, what did YOU wish for?'

**Dane Seigerson (11:15:20 PM):**

Careful.

**Dane Seigerson (11:15:26 PM):**

We're about to reenter the Twilight Zone.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:15:54 PM):**

Fine.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:16:04 PM):**

Do you really want to know what I wished for?

**Dane Seigerson (11:16:13 PM):**

Eh. Nah.

**Dane Seigerson (11:16:18 PM):**

YES OF COURSE I DO YOU TWAT!

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:16:49 PM):**

I wished that you and I would be together for a really long time.

**Dane Seigerson (11:17:33 PM):**

...no way.

**Dane Seigerson (11:17:38 PM):**

You stole my wish?

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:17:50 PM):**

Well, great minds think alike.

Dane laughed; rapidly typing his response into the chat box. He didn't care that it was nearly midnight, and that most everyone else in the Stuart dormitory was already asleep. They would all just have to suck it.

A groan sounded from the other side of the room, as Damien opened his eyes to the bright gleam of Dane's laptop.

"Dude. You're still talking to Alex?" he asked with only a hint of annoyance shining through his amusement. "Can't you two go two minutes without talking to each other?"

"No. I don't think we can." he responded almost instantly; typing another response into the keyboard.

**Dane Seigerson (11:27:49 PM):**

You owe me one hug when you transfer.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:28:32 PM):**

I do. The moment I transfer I will hug you.

**Dane Seigerson (11:28:37 PM):**

You better.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:28:38 PM):**

It's a deal.

**Dane Seigerson (11:28:42 PM):**

Let's shake on it.

**Dane Seigerson (11:28:44 PM):**

OH WAIT

**Dane Seigerson (11:28:47 PM):**

you're not here.

**Dane Seigerson (11:28:48 PM):**

D:

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:29:00 PM):**

I will be by next month

Dane literally almost threw the laptop across the room; barely resisting the urge to jump around the in his euphoria.

"Are you okay over there? Do I need to admit you to some kind of mental hospital?" Damien asked; moving across the room to look over Dane's shoulder.

**Dane Seigerson (11:29:31 PM):**

NEXT MONTH? I just literally made a noise of excitement and Damien is asking me what's going on and gahh.

**Dane Seigerson (11:29:36 PM):**

I can't even words!

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:30:26 PM):**

Yep. Next month. It's a done deal. I talked to my dads.

**Dane Seigerson (11:30:54 PM):**

NO WAY!

**Dane Seigerson (11:30:58 PM):**

AHH!

**Dane Seigerson (11:31:02 PM):**

Okay calm. Be calm.

**Dane Seigerson (11:31:05 PM):**

I can't.

**Dane Seigerson (11:31:20 PM):**

I cannot be calm.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:32:04 PM):**

It went pretty well. They didn't freak out like I thought they would.

**Dane Seigerson (11:32:14 PM):**

What did they say?

**Dane Seigerson (11:32:18 PM):**

TELL ME THE WHOLE CONVERSATION.

"Oh God...when he transfers here it's going to be even worse than Alice and me. I'm never going to have my room back."

"Shhh. Shutup! Not so loud!"

"No one's up! Except for you, of course." Damien eyed his friend skeptically, "What _are_you going to do when he transfers? You can't hid your relationship forever."

"The hell I can't!"

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:33:10 PM):**

Well, I told my dad first, and he already assumed that I was talking to a guy. He wasn't really shocked about that. He was a bit shocked when I told him who I was actually dating.

**Dane Seigerson (11:33:28 PM):**

Mhm.

**Dane Seigerson (11:33:32 PM):**

And?

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:34:28 PM):**

And then I told my Papa when he came home. He flipped out a little bit, but not in a bad way.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:35:01 PM):**

I mean, he was just surprised. He never suspected that I would be dating someone.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:35:13 PM):**

And then I talked to them both about transferring.

**Dane Seigerson (11:35:17 PM):**

...what, because you're so undesirable...?

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:35:24 PM):**

No.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:35:31 PM):**

I'm just not so forward I guess? I'm not usually one to hide things like this.

**Dane Seigerson (11:35:35 PM):**

Oh yeah.

**Dane Seigerson (11:35:36 PM):**

Okay

**Dane Seigerson (11:35:38 PM):**

Go on

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:35:54 PM):**

Plus he's never been very observative.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:36:01 PM):**

Not in a bad way.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:36:07 PM):**

Things just go over his head.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:36:07 PM):**

haha

**Dane Seigerson (11:36:12 PM):**

Observative of your attractiveness?

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:36:16 PM):**

Dane!

**Dane Seigerson (11:36:46 PM):**

It's just a fact!

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:36:58 PM):**

Anyway, so I talked to them about transferring, and my Papa said he didn't understand how I could transfer for a guy. Then my Dad laughed and said that he was being a hypocrite.

**Dane Seigerson (11:37:16 PM):**

Why?

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:37:29 PM):**

because when my Papa went to Dalton he transferred for him from Colorado.

**Dane Seigerson (11:37:33 PM):**

Oh

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:37:57 PM):**

Yeah. So then they kind of argued over it for a while, and eventually they agreed that I could transfer.

**Dane Seigerson (11:38:10 PM):**

I AM SO FREAKIN' EXCITED, ALEX!

"I've told you it once, and I'll tell you again, your dad won't care if you're gay. He's best friends with my dads. He'd be a bit of a hypocrite if he did."

Dane rolled his eyes; blocking out his friend entirely. He had heard this speech far too many times for his own good.

**Dane Seigerson (11:40:32 PM):**

I'll be waiting with your ramen packets.

**Dane Seigerson (11:40:35 PM):**

hold on brb

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:40:38 PM):**

Okay.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:40:42 PM):**

And you better!

"I'm being serious here. It's not fair to you or Alex to keep hiding yourself like this."

"You don't understand! That's not it at all! You see the way my dad acts around me! The way he's always forcing me to go out with girls! How do you think he'd feel if I told him I was gay? He might not show it, but he'd be disappointed." Dane raged; throwing his hands up, "Besides, it's my business. If I don't want to come out I shouldn't have to!"

"Hey, calm down." Damien yelled; pinning Dane's hands to the bed to look him straight in the eye. "I never said it was going to be easy. Don't forget, I'm bisexual. It's different for me because both my parents are gay, but it sure as hell isn't any less complicated."

"Get off of me." Dane groaned; pushing Damien off of the bed. "I know that. Please, just let me have a little more time to figure things out. I will have to come out eventually, I know that, I just don't need you to force me into it, okay?"

Damien nodded; feeling satisfied enough with his answer for tonight. It was too late to argue anyway.

"Alright. I'm going to bed. Try to keep your flirtations to a minimum volume."

Dane smiled to himself.

"I make no promises."

**Dane Seigerson (11:42:33 PM):**

I WILL! I'll have them in a nice bag all ready for you to take into Windsor and eat right away.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:43:19 PM):**

I hope the Windsors don't mind that you'll be over there 24/7

**Dane Seigerson (11:43:30 PM):**

I hope the Stuarts don't mind that you'll be over here 24/7

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:44:06 PM):**

I don't think either of them will be getting much of a choice.

**Dane Seigerson (11:44:25 PM):**

They'll have to suck it up.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:45:10 PM):**

Besides, Alice is always over there too.

**Dane Seigerson (11:45:21 PM):**

On Damien's bed. Half-naked. XP

**Dane Seigerson (11:45:22 PM):**

SAVE ME.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:46:08 PM):**

I would if I could. It takes a while for the transfer to go through, apparently.

**Dane Seigerson (11:46:43 PM):**

...get in the car. And drive here.

**Dane Seigerson (11:46:52 PM):**

andthencomekissme I'm sorry what?

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:47:10 PM):**

First off, I don't drive.

**Dane Seigerson (11:47:22 PM):**

Minor issue.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:47:37 PM):**

Second off, what was that?

**Dane Seigerson (11:47:44 PM):**

What was what?

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:48:12 PM):**

The second comment after the driving to save you. You were mumbling. :-P

**Dane Seigerson (11:48:16 PM):**

I'm sorry what?

**Dane Seigerson (11:48:19 PM):**

I didn't hear you.

**Dane Seigerson (11:48:20 PM):**

What?

**Dane Seigerson (11:48:31 PM):**

Are you talking to me?

**Dane Seigerson (11:48:33 PM):**

WHAT?

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:48:38 PM):**

Well then, I guess you don't want me to kiss you after all.

**Dane Seigerson (11:49:07 PM):**

NO I DO I DO I DO I DO I DO

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:49:36 PM):**

Someone's anxious.

**Dane Seigerson (11:50:36 PM):**

NO I'M NOT I'M NOT I'M NOT

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:50:44 PM):**

YOU SO ARE.

**Dane Seigerson (11:51:10 PM):**

NO WAY.

**Dane Seigerson (11:51:14 PM):**

But if you wouldn't object...

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:51:24 PM):**

I definitely would not object.

**Dane Seigerson (11:51:34 PM):**

Then it's a plan.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:52:15 PM):**

So I guess now the month is just going to seem even longer

**Dane Seigerson (11:56:09 PM):**

I'm looking forward to it.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:56:20 PM):**

Don't be upset if I'm bad at it...

**Dane Seigerson (11:56:29 PM):**

I won't be. And you won't be.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:56:40 PM):**

Okay. I trust you.

**Dane Seigerson (11:57:04 PM):**

Thanks. That means a lot to me. Not many people do.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:57:17 PM):**

Of course I do. And they should too.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:57:22 PM):**

You're a nice guy.

**Dane Seigerson (11:57:30 PM):**

When I want to be.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:57:58 PM):**

Oh? Is there a Mr. Hyde to your Dr. Jekyll?

**Dane Seigerson (11:58:05 PM):**

Yeah.

**Dane Seigerson (11:58:14 PM):**

Shit. If you come to Dalton you'll probably meet him.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (11:58:39 PM):**

I'm interested. Also when I come to Dalton you'll have to deal with the camera again...

**Dane Seigerson (11:59:40 PM):**

I guess we'll just have to live with each other's problems.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:01:03 AM):**

I hope you don't get sick of it.

**Dane Seigerson (12:01:11 AM):**

I hope you don't get sick of me.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:01:17 AM):**

I don't think I will.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:01:22 AM):**

I haven't yet.

**Dane Seigerson (12:01:33 AM):**

I don't think I'll get sick of your camera.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:01:58 AM):**

Good because it's non-negotiable

**Dane Seigerson (12:02:10 AM):**

And Mr. Hyde is non-negotiable.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:02:24 AM):**

What do you do that's so bad?

**Dane Seigerson (12:03:16 AM):**

I just...I'm a mean person. I get pissed off a lot. I pretend to be this ridiculous womanizer and that's not ME. But it's who people think is me so I guess in a way it is me.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:04:03 AM):**

I know you get pissed off a lot, but so do I.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:04:16 AM):**

I don't know how I'll react to you flirting with girls...

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:04:22 AM):**

but they don't know the real you.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:04:25 AM):**

Like I think I do.

**Dane Seigerson (12:04:33 AM):**

Hell, I don't even know the real me.

**Dane Seigerson (12:04:37 AM):**

How could you possibly?

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:04:43 AM):**

I think I'm starting to.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:05:06 AM):**

Or I want to.

**Dane Seigerson (12:05:12 AM):**

Why?

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:05:39 AM):**

Because I like you. A lot. And I want to know more about you.

**Dane Seigerson (12:06:12 AM):**

Again. Why? Wouldn't you just be better off with some other guy who's, I don't know, actually out?

**Dane Seigerson (12:06:20 AM):**

And now I'm just like a needy teenage girl. Great.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:06:38 AM):**

I don't want any other guy.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:06:51 AM):**

That sounds cliche, but I'm a teenage boy. We're full of cliches.

**Dane Seigerson (12:07:02 AM):**

I don't get you, Alex.

**Dane Seigerson (12:07:31 AM):**

You could have any guy in New York City, and I'm sure there are a ton of gay guys in New York, and you decide to come all the way to Ohio for...me?

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:08:59 AM):**

Yes. Because you're different. I wish you could just see yourself the way I see you. I don't want the guys in New York. They aren't interesting like you are.

**Dane Seigerson (12:09:32 AM):**

I'm just that guy who jokes around and pretends that he is someone he isn't. Why would you want someone who's just a shell of a person?

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:11:05 AM):**

You aren't a shell of a person. You're funny, and romantic, and you just understand me. You might be having some trouble with things, but that doesn't change the fact that you're an amazing person on the inside. You have to do those things because you want to make your dad happy. You're just trying to please him. That's pretty honorable in itself.

**Dane Seigerson (12:12:10 AM):**

I think we'd win the cheesy award at this point.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:12:43 AM):**

Probably. But, you know I mean it right?

**Dane Seigerson (12:13:03 AM):**

Yeah. I know you do. I just wonder if you actually know what you're getting yourself into.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:13:38 AM):**

I don't think I know what I'm getting myself into either, but I really don't care.

**Dane Seigerson (12:14:17 AM):**

Well when you figure it out, let me know and I'll let you go.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:14:39 AM):**

What if I figure it out and I don't want you to let me go?

**Dane Seigerson (12:15:02 AM):**

Then you haven't really figured it out.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:15:48 AM):**

Have some faith in yourself. Have you ever considered the fact that I might actually like who you are? The real you.

**Dane Seigerson (12:16:03 AM):**

In passing, I considered it once.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:16:24 AM):**

Well consider it again.

**Dane Seigerson (12:16:33 AM):**

Considering.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:16:48 AM):**

Good. Have some faith in yourself.

**Dane Seigerson (12:17:30 AM):**

Okay.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:17:37 AM):**

THANK YOU

**Dane Seigerson (12:17:41 AM):**

You know it isn't that easy though.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:18:02 AM):**

I know it isn't. It's going to be really hard. But can't you just have faith in yourself. For me?

**Dane Seigerson (12:18:11 AM):**

For you. I'll try.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:18:27 AM):**

Thank you.

**Dane Seigerson (12:18:42 AM):**

You're welcome, dude.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:19:13 AM):**

I still cannot believe you called me dude.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:19:17 AM):**

I mean, come on dude.

**Dane Seigerson (12:19:37 AM):**

Dude, I just wanted to seem masculine.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:19:53 AM):**

It wasn't working dude.

**Dane Seigerson (12:20:02 AM):**

...IT WASN'T?

**Dane Seigerson (12:20:09 AM):**

Shit! What gave me away?

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:20:22 AM):**

Do I sense sarcasm Mr. Seigerson?

**Dane Seigerson (12:20:40 AM):**

No I'm dead serious, what gave me away?

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:21:32 AM):**

Hmm I don't know, the fact that you tacked it on to the end of the sentence like you forgot you were supposed to say it.

**Dane Seigerson (12:22:02 AM):**

...dangit. Damien told me NEVER to do that. Did I really do that? I must've been distracted by something.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:22:42 AM):**

Must've been. Maybe it was because some weird kid with a camera was staring at you.

**Dane Seigerson (12:22:52 AM):**

Or maybe it was because YOU were staring at me.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:23:11 AM):**

That's what I just said...

**Dane Seigerson (12:23:37 AM):**

No, it's not.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:24:27 AM):**

It is. I was insinuating that the weird kid with the camera was me.

**Dane Seigerson (12:25:14 AM):**

And I was insinuating that you weren't just a weird kid with a camera. You were you, and you distracted me. Damn you.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:25:47 AM):**

Hmm. Well I had only the most innocent intentions I assure you.

**Dane Seigerson (12:26:12 AM):**

Same here.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:26:33 AM):**

I remember I kind of stalked you that night. Sorry about that.

**Dane Seigerson (12:26:52 AM):**

I feel so terrible about that! You saw me with that other guy...

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:27:33 AM):**

I kind of was just shocked. I mean, you were dancing with that girl for most of the time.

**Dane Seigerson (12:27:52 AM):**

I'm a mystery wrapped in an enigma.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:28:09 AM):**

That's why you're so interesting.

**Dane Seigerson (12:28:24 AM):**

You call it interesting... I call it something else.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:29:14 AM):**

Well I like it. Why were you going off with that guy though...Well, obviously I know why, but weren't you afraid someone would see?

**Dane Seigerson (12:29:42 AM):**

Yeah, but I hadn't kissed a guy in months. I was going crazy.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:30:21 AM):**

Oh. Did anyone ever catch you before?

**Dane Seigerson (12:30:52 AM):**

No.

**Dane Seigerson (12:30:56 AM):**

I'm good.

**Dane Seigerson (12:31:01 AM):**

Stealthy.

**Dane Seigerson (12:31:04 AM):**

Until you came along.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:31:20 AM):**

What do I have to do with your stealth?

**Dane Seigerson (12:31:48 AM):**

For some reason, you caught me. No one's ever caught me, but you managed.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:32:17 AM):**

I wasn't trying to.

**Dane Seigerson (12:33:05 AM):**

Call it fate.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:33:39 AM):**

I don't know. Maybe.

**Dane Seigerson (12:34:04 AM):**

Maybe? Well aren't you romantic?

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:34:45 AM):**

I've never really believed in fate before.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:35:01 AM):**

But whatever brought us together I'm thankful for.

**Dane Seigerson (12:35:40 AM):**

That's more like it.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:35:54 AM):**

I'm learning from the master.

**Dane Seigerson (12:36:46 AM):**

You're learning well, young grasshopper.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:37:16 AM):**

I'm training hard Sensei.

**Dane Seigerson (12:37:41 AM):**

Wax on, wax off.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:37:58 AM):**

I hardly think that counts as romantic.

**Dane Seigerson (12:38:10 AM):**

SHUT UP WITH YOUR REALITY.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:38:23 AM):**

MAKE ME

**Dane Seigerson (12:38:36 AM):**

CAN I USE MY LIPS?

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:39:07 AM):**

I would prefer if you did.

**Dane Seigerson (12:39:21 AM):**

It's settled then. I will shut you up using my lips.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:39:32 AM):**

Over the interwebs.

**Dane Seigerson (12:39:38 AM):**

LET'S DO IT.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:39:46 AM):**

CYBER KISSING

**Dane Seigerson (12:39:50 AM):**

CYBER KISSING!

Dane laughed to himself; leaning back onto the bed and trying to control his urge to let out an unmanly squeal. It was times like these that he really hated the fact that Alex lived in New York.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:54:28 AM):**

I'M TIREEDDDD

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:54:32 AM):**

YOU'RE KEEPING ME UP

**Dane Seigerson (12:54:34 AM):**

ME TOO. I wanna sleep.

**Dane Seigerson (12:54:38 AM):**

Let's sleep.

**Dane Seigerson (12:54:39 AM):**

Together.

**Dane Seigerson (12:54:40 AM):**

...

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:54:43 AM):**

...

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:54:49 AM):**

Well

**Dane Seigerson (12:54:51 AM):**

Uh

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:54:54 AM):**

I think you just tried to seduce me.

**Dane Seigerson (12:54:58 AM):**

I think I did.

**Dane Seigerson (12:55:02 AM):**

Did it work by any chance?

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:55:08 AM):**

I'm not that easy.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:55:12 AM):**

You need to buy me dinner first.

**Dane Seigerson (12:55:30 AM):**

I ALREADY BOUGHT YOU THE RAMEN NOODLES. THEY'RE SITTING ON MY BEDSIDE TABLE RIGHT NOW.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:55:54 AM):**

UNTIL THAT MEAL IS IN MY MOUTH THERE WILL BE NO SEDUCTION.

**Dane Seigerson (12:56:16 AM):**

Can I air mail it to you...?

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:57:07 AM):**

Well, I said there would be no seduction until I got that meal. I never said anything about actually going through with your perverted demands. -)

**Dane Seigerson (12:57:20 AM):**

.

**Dane Seigerson (12:57:35 AM):**

I HAVE NEEDS DANG IT

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:58:19 AM):**

Your needs will have to go unsatisfied.

**Dane Seigerson (12:58:48 AM):**

Oh well. I'll live.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:58:55 AM):**

I would hope so.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:59:16 AM):**

Now I need to go to sleep.

**Dane Seigerson (12:59:22 AM):**

Same here.

**Alex VanKampAnderson (12:59:26 AM):**

Goodnight Dane.

**Dane Seigerson (12:59:35 AM):**

Goodnight Alex.


	7. Chapter 7: Trust

**AN: Here is chapter 7 finally! I'm sorry that we took so long to update, but truthfully, we've been delaying it a bit...especially with Dalton coming out tonight (possibly). We're so thankful for all the reviews we've received, and we hope that you continue to read and review! I wrote the whole first part, and flightofdeathfrench wrote the second part.**

**Chapter 7: Trust**

Dane held his breath, listening to the dial tone ring repeatedly. This was always the part he hated about phone calls: the anticipation.

"Well look who decided to call." Dane grinned; there was no mistaking that voice.

"I call you!" he laughed, leaning back onto the headboard of the bed.

"No, I call you and you just go along with it. It's never you actually calling me." Alex was teasing, of course, but he still found it odd that Dane always refused to call him. He guessed it was probably the whole "secret" part of their relationship. Dane couldn't very well talk to him out in the open without his whole cover being blown.

"Well, I'm here now aren't I? Unless you'd rather I hang up..."

"No...I mean, you don't have to hang up just yet."

"That's what I thought." He paused, thinking of what to say. Dane hated phone conversations. There was so much pressure. You couldn't think about what you were saying like you could on instant messengers or text. "Awkward silence. Sorry. I'm awful at talking on the phone." Dane brought one of his hands up to rest on his forehead. It was only a minute into the conversation and he had already managed to mess it up.

"You aren't awful at it. You just need some practice," Alex laughed, toying with the cable of his antique telephone. "Besides, I like hearing your voice when I talk to you. Talking in chat is so impersonal."

"But in chat I can at least filter what I have to say. On the phone there's no filter for Mr. Hyde to go through. I just always end up saying something I'll regret."

"You're doing fine so far," Alex remarked.

"Yeah, well, the conversation's only just begun. You wait. It'll come. I'll say something and you'll hang up and never want to talk to me again."

"Oh how so very melodramatic of you," Alex rolled his eyes.

"I learned from the master."

"Oh and who would that be?"

"You wouldn't know him. He lives in New York. He's kind of annoying sometimes-"

"Hey!" Dane laughed at Alex's distress before continuing.

"But I can't stop thinking about how much I miss him."

The other end of the line remained silent, and for a moment, Dane wondered if he had said something wrong.

"I think he misses you a lot too," Alex replied honestly, in a tone that made Dane's mind go to absolute mush.

"Shit Alex, this really sucks. How many more weeks again?"

"Three."

"Damn. Three whole weeks?" Dane groaned, falling backward onto his bed. It was almost unbearable not to see Alex lately. He wanted to be able to reach out and hold his hand, to see his face flush when he got embarrassed, or to hear the click of his camera. Most of all, he wanted to be able to kiss him. Dane had kissed a lot of people in his short lifetime, guys and girls, but he had never wanted to kiss anyone more than he did every time he talked to Alex. This would all have to happen behind closed doors, of course, but it would still be a hell of a lot better than leaving all of these things to his imagination.

"Hopefully we'll both survive until then."

"I don't know if I'll make it. You might have to kiss me back to life when you get here. "

Alex froze, unsure of how exactly to respond to something like that. This wasn't like the chat room where he could just pop out a sarcastic remark whenever he was flustered.

"I...uh...yeah. I'll have to do that."

The change of tone in Alex's voice did not go unnoticed on Dane's watch.

"Wait, no witty comeback? You're just going to agree with me?"

"Um. Yes?" Even Alex knew how pathetic of answer that was.

"Okay, what's up? You were fine a second ago and now you're barely responding." Dane mentally cursed himself, he said something wrong. Of course he did. It was only a matter of time.

He heard Alex heave in a deep breath from the other line, and inwardly winced.

"It's nothing. Nothing's up. I'm completely fine. Why wouldn't I be fine? Don't I sound fine to you?"

"Don't lie to me Alexander, I know your lying voice."

"Don't call me Alexander,"

"Don't change the subject," Dane countered.

The line remained silent, again, and Dane waited patiently for Alex to gather his thoughts. He prayed that he wouldn't just hang up and leave him without any sort of explanation at all.

"It's just..." Alex began after a minute or so, "Please don't judge me for this, alright?"

"I would never."

"Okay...well...I've never...kissed anyone before. Or actually, I've never kissed a_guy_before. I'm just kind of scared that I'll be really bad at it, and then you won't want to date me anymore. What if I don't live up to your expectations? What if you realize that you just want to be friends?"

Dane had to blink several times to comprehend what his boyfriend was actually implying. After a beat, he responded.

"...Are you an idiot?"

"No."

"I'm beginning to wonder."

"Why? It's a concern..." The vulnerability in Alex's voice was like a slap to the face to Dane. How had he possibly gotten this idea in his head?

"No it is not! I just wish you knew what I think of you. Like...I don't like you because you're 'experienced' or whatever. I like you because you're you, and how could meeting you change that?"

"Because you'll be around me every day! You'll see me at my worst. And then what if you completely lose interest and realize the whole thing was in your head?" Alex wrapped his hand around his knee, playing with the loose ends of his socks. He hated these types of conversations, hated talking about his own insecurities. He'd much rather help Dane with his.

"Alexander Middle name that you have to tell me later Van Kamp-Anderson, if you think that kissing is important to me at all, you clearly don't know me, which leads me to believe even more that you are going to dump me on the second day of being at Dalton."

Alex felt his heart break just a little bit. Dane was always talking about Alex breaking up with him, but what about the other way around? Alex knew he wasn't a perfect person, and what if he didn't live up to everything that Dane seemed to think he was?

"But if you don't like kissing me, then why would you want to date me at all? Why would you date someone that you feel absolutely nothing towards?" At this point, they both knew the argument had so much more to do with than just kissing.

"But Alex...There's no way I could kiss you and not feel anything. I kiss tons of girls and never feel a thing except slight disgust. But you... I can just tell that no matter how terrible you are, I'll love every second of it"

"Why?"

"Because...because I...because I like you!" Dane supplied weakly. "Sorry that was a lame response, but do you know what I mean?"

"Yeah I do."

"Do you really? Because you still don't seem to understand the point of what I'm trying to get across to you."

"I can't be assured of anything yet. You could just be saying one thing, and then when I actually get there you'll realize you've made a huge mistake."

Alex wasn't stupid. He knew that people said things they didn't mean when they were trying to comfort people. He had seen so many relationships go wrong that way, and he and Dane had only been dating for a little over three weeks.

"Alex! You're so frustrating in such a good way! Why can't you just trust that I'm not going to freaking dump you just because you're a bad kisser? You don't even need to kiss me at all if you don't want to! It doesn't even matter to me! It would be like a breath of fresh air!"

Dane was beyond angry at this point. He honestly wanted to just slam a fist into the wall, or something to that effect. Why was this conversation going around in circles? Why could Alex not understand what he was trying to say?

"Why would you date someone, but never kiss them?"

"It was you who didn't want to kiss me! Of course I want to kiss you!" Dane was trying desperately to keep his voice down, hoping that the rest of the Stuart house wasn't listening in on him.

"I do too, but if you feel disgusted every time you kiss me, then you won't want to be with me!"

"Shut up! Just please stop talking! I don't understand why you don't trust me!"

Alex winced. He did trust Dane, he really did, but he couldn't help but have his own insecurities.

"I do trust you! Trust has nothing to do with it! It's me!"

"Then trust me when I say that it doesn't matter!"

"I do! I do trust you! I just really don't want to mess this up!" Alex bit his lip and closed his eyes. He needed to calm down. They could work this out. He knew they could. They had to.

"Then why don't you trust me now?"

"Because I can't know anything for sure until I come to Dalton! It scares me to death! Do you know how many high school couples actually stay together? This is crazy. This whole thing is crazy!"

Dane would be lying if he said that Alex wasn't right. Most couples were lucky if they lasted one month in high school.

"But our parents both were together in high school! Alice's parents were together in high school, Damien's parents were together in high school…"

"They were lucky! I just want to make sure that I'm making the right decision! You aren't even out of the closet yet! What if you decide it's too risky to date me and you break up with me? What am I supposed to do then?"

"If it's so much of a risk why don't we just break up! If that's what you really want!"

The second the sentence left his mouth, Dane knew that it was a mistake. Alex took in a deep breath, and held it there for an unknown amount of time. He had never thought that tonight's phone call would turn into this.

The last thing Dane wanted to do was break up, but he couldn't think of anything else to do. If Alex really didn't want to be with him anymore, who was he to stop him? All he wanted was for him to be happy. If he would be happier without Dane in his life, then so be it, no matter how much pain it would cause Dane himself.

"I don't want to break up with you...unless that's what you really want."

Alex prayed that Dane couldn't hear him sniffing back tears from the other line. The last thing he needed was Dane's pity, especially tonight.

"Good. Just get it through your thick skull that someone might actually like you."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means I like you. Was that not obvious? Do I need to draw you a map?" Even Dane knew that was a little harsh, but they were in a fight right now. They were supposed to say irrational things they'd regret later. That's how it worked.

"Well it's not obvious right now!" Alex nearly growled back from the other end of the line.

"Of course not! We're in a fight! Is that too confusing for you?"

"Yes!"

Alex's parents never fought like this, and they had been together since high school. If he and Dane were already fighting after two weeks, then wasn't that an indicator that their relationship wasn't going to work out?

"I don't even understand how me being afraid to kiss you turned into this. It wasn't meant to start anything." Alex sighed, after a minute of silence on both ends of the connection. "I'm sorry...I'm being irrational."

"You should be," grunted Dane in response, crossing his arm over his chest.

"I know. I'm sorry I'm hard to deal with."

"I just don't know how to deal with you yet. Maybe I'd learn, if you even gave me the time."

Alex groaned, hitting his head against the window in frustration.

"Why do you always assume I'm going to break up with you? It's a two way street you know. You can't just get mad at me for saying that I'm worried you'll break up with me, and expect me not to get upset when you say it."

"What the HELL is this SHIT right now? You're the one that's always bringing it up! It makes you seem like you aren't fully committed to this relationship." If Dane was mad before, he was now completely off the wall with rage. Whenever they had finally made some progress in their argument, Alex took it two steps backwards.

"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S ALWAYS BRINGING IT UP!" Alex yelled, before lowering his voice, "You're always talking about how when I come to Dalton and see who you really are, I'll realize what I got myself into and break up with you. I always tell you that I won't, but you never believe me."

"I do not! I say that you'll see who I really am, but I don't make you seem all shallow like, 'If I'm a bad kisser, you won't want me anymore! Oh woe is me!'"

"You don't even understand!" Alex cried, "You've dated so many people before! You're the first person I've ever felt anything like this with! If I wasn't committed I wouldn't be transferring to freaking Westerville, Ohio. I hate the country. You know that."

"Then maybe you shouldn't transfer at all, since you have so little faith in me!" Alex blinked for a few minutes before fully processing what Dane had just said.

"Fine," he spoke carefully, voice dripping with venom. "Then maybe I won't."

"Good," Dane responded almost instantaneously, closing his eyes to stop the tears that were threatening to stain his face. He had really fucked things up this time.

"So...that's it. It's done," Alex wasn't even making an attempt to hide his pain anymore, nearly choking as he uttered the words both of them had been dreading to hear.

Dane's eyes flew open, jumping up from his position on the bed in shock.

"Why?"

"Why? Are you seriously asking that question right now?"

"All I know is...I love you." Dane lowered his voice to a whisper, wiping his tear filled eyes. He hated the way his voice sounded, so completely broken that he sounded pathetic, even to himself.

"...I...I...I don't know how I feel yet..." Alex shut his eyes tightly, wishing he could come up with any other response. He just couldn't. This wasn't how things were supposed to be when you loved someone. People that loved each other weren't supposed to hurt each other in this way. "It's only been two weeks. I'm confused. I'm sorry...I-"

Dane didn't even wait to see what else Alex had to say, he just hung up. It didn't matter anymore. Alex didn't love him. How stupid could he have been? Why would someone love him? He was so pathetic. He couldn't even come up with the courage to tell the truth to his own father. He hated himself, so why should anybody else feel differently? Without even thinking about it, Dane fell onto the floor and let the tears take control of his body. It didn't matter anymore. He didn't matter anymore.

The moment Dane had hung up Alex fell onto his bed, sobbing. He felt so empty that he couldn't stand it. Why couldn't he say it back? He knew he loved Dane. He had to love Dane. Why would it hurt so badly if he didn't? But people that loved each other weren't supposed to fight like that. You weren't supposed to be fighting one minute and then telling each other that you love each other the next. That just wasn't how relationships worked. His parents never fought like that. When they did fight, they certainly didn't go from one extreme to the next in one night. Why did Dane have to be so complicated?

* * *

><p>"Papa?" Damien sounded nervous, and Julian made a face.<p>

"What is it?" he asked warily. Logan was watching Julian carefully.

"It's Dane, actually." Damien paused and Julian's shoulders fell in relief. Logan just rolled his eyes. "You act like you expect me to do something bad!" Damien said indignantly.

"No way," Julian said, lying.

"Yeah, sure." Damien was just as sarcastic as his dads sometimes.

"Okay, what about Dane?" Julian leaned against the kitchen table and watched as Logan turned around and started to clean the dishes in the sink.

"I'm worried about him." Damien sounded small and far away.

Julian sighed. "Again? What's wrong?"

"He had a boyfriend. For like a week. And then they broke up. And he's _really_ upset about it."

Logan was clanging the dishes around, and Julian could barely hear his son. He covered the mouthpiece with his hand and said, "Lo, do you think you could you be a little louder?"

Logan dropped a pan into the sink just to annoy Julian, but then he started being more careful, setting things down gently and opening and closing cupboards quietly.

"He'll get over it soon," Julian said to Damien.

"I don't think so…"

Damien sounded a little scared, so Julian said, "What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to talk to him like you used to."

"Damien… You know I can't do anything about it." Julian watched Logan as he lifted a pot into the cupboard over the sink, the sun catching in his blonde hair.

"Maybe you can. Could you try?" Damien was pleading now.

"I'm just afraid that it won't help," Julian said. "Breakups are hard. He'll just have to…" Logan turned around at this point and pointed to the door with one pointer finger while drawing the other across his neck in an 'I'll kill you if you don't go' movement. "Okay," Julian said, resigned. "I'll try, but I really don't think…"

"Tomorrow. It's a Saturday so you can take him out to lunch. Thanks Papa!" And Damien hung up.

"What the hell am I supposed to say, Lo?" Julian said, standing up straight and putting the phone down on the table.

"Do you remember that one time?" Logan asked, and it was all he had to say for Julian to wrap him in a hug.

"I love you," Julian said quietly into Logan's ear.

"So do you want to tell me about this guy or do you just want to listen while I talk at you?" Julian asked, spearing a meatball and sticking it casually into his mouth.

"Don't I usually just end up sitting here while you talk at me?" Dane asked, sounding annoyed.

"Yeah, usually, but I thought it would make you feel better if you thought you had an option." Julian grinned his real grin, not his movie star grin.

Dane smiled too, just a little bit. "Then I guess I'll just listen to you. I don't really want to talk about Alex."

"Alex?" Julian laughed. "I once had a girlfriend named Alex."

Dane blinked at him.

"Oh. Not the time, not the place, not the conversation. Right." Julian cleared his throat. "Wow, I really haven't gotten any better at this, have I?"

Dane laughed weakly.

"Okay, so Logan suggested that I tell you about this one time when he and I almost broke up." Julian took a deep breath, as if it literally hurt him to say this.

Dane looked down at his grilled cheese.

Julian opened his mouth and then closed it again. "I…told him it was a bad idea to tell you about it." He took another deep breath, and looked like he was going to say something, but then he just put his chin on his hands and looked at Dane. "Why did you get grilled cheese? I thought you hated grilled cheese."

Dane didn't respond, just bit into it, chewed, and swallowed. Only recently had he gained an affinity for grilled cheese.

"Right. Okay." Julian ate another meatball. He seemed to be avoiding his pasta. "Um, I don't…" Dane heard Julian's cell phone buzz in his pocket, and craned his neck to see what it said. Julian looked at it, sighed, and turned it so Dane could see it.

'**Trust me on this one. Just tell him or I will.'**

From Logan, of course.

"Okay," Julian said against, unfolding and refolding his napkin. "I just don't think it'll…help. I think that…if you actually broke up, after just a week, you don't need encouragement to get back together."

Dane put his head in his hands. "I do want to get back together, but I can't."

"Why not?" Julian asked.

"Because I screwed it up. And I'll screw it up again." He looked up at Julian with slightly wet eyes. "I always screw things up."

Julian pursed his lips, thinking. "Okay, I'll tell you the story." He paused and tried to gather himself, but then he realized that the act of gathering himself would take much longer than he had time for, so he just plunged right in. "Two years after we got together Logan and I got in this really stupid fight. It was just another fight in a long chain of them, because you know. That's me and Logan." He unfolded his napkin again, stared at it, and then refolded it and put it back on the table. "So this fight… God, I can't even tell you about it without getting pissed off at myself." He laughed a humorless laugh. "I'm like you. I always screw things up, every time. Even – especially – with Logan."

Dane wasn't looking at Julian. He was focusing on his grilled cheese.

Julian nudged him with his knee. "But on the bright side, Logan and I are very clearly together, so I must have, by some miracle, managed to do _something _right. Somewhere along the line. So you probably can too."

"Just tell the story," Dane mumbled.

"Okay fine. So Logan said something like 'I can't believe you're going to Hollywood right now' because that was what the fight was about. And I said 'I can't believe you're not going to Hollywood with me' and he got all defensive like he usually does and went 'I can't believe you expect me to.' So then I…" Julian took a sip from his water and looked at his napkin, considering doing the folding thing again but he didn't. "I told him that he never lived up to my expectations." He stopped talking and looked down at his lap.

"You did?" Dane's eyes were wide. "You really said that?"

"I have never…regretted anything…more. In my whole life." Julian stared off in the distance and sighed. "For some reason Logan decided to forgive me. I wish he hadn't."

"Why?" Dane asked quickly.

"Because I clearly don't deserve him. He doesn't need someone like me."

"That's exactly how I feel," Dane said, relieved that he wasn't the only one. "Alex is right to be concerned about dating me."

"Well, the story does get better," Julian said, trying to act perky. He was really just changing the subject because he didn't know what to say to that. "After like three weeks of not talking to each other-"

Dane moaned.

"-Logan finally turned up and told me that he didn't care if he didn't rise to my admittedly high expectations, because…" He smiled to himself. "Because I rose to his, and his expectations were more important than mine." He laughed softly, nostalgic for a time he'd never go back to, not if you paid him ten million dollars.

"And you…?" Dane prompted.

"You don't want to know what we did then." Julian's eyes sparkled.

His phone vibrating interrupted what would have turned into a fantastic awkward moment of epic proportions. He pulled it out of his pocket and saw that it was Logan calling.

"I'm in the middle of something," Julian said into the phone, feigning annoyance.

"I don't want to talk to you, I want to talk to Dane. I decided you probably wouldn't do a good enough job of explaining the whole thing."

Julian handed over the phone to Dane, saying, "It's for you."

"Uncle Logan?" Dane asked, putting the phone up to his ear and looking wary.

Julian couldn't blame him. Even he was a little afraid of what Logan might say.

But not really.

Julian trusted Logan more than anyone else in the world.

"You sound upset to talk to me," Logan said jokingly.

"I'm not!" Dane protested.

"Right…" Logan laughed. "Okay, so I trust that after a lot of beating around the bush you FINALLY pulled the story out of Jules, right?"

"Yeah."

"So he was probably like 'I hate myself, I'm such a terrible person, he doesn't deserve me…'" Logan did a pretty good Julian impression.

"Yeah."

"Mhm. Bullshit. And then he said that I randomly came up and said that my expectations were more important and he met all of mine?"

"Yeah, it's like you were here!"

"Well, I do know Julian better than anyone else, and it's not hard to figure him out in the first place. Jules is an open book, if you know how to read."

"That's disgustingly sweet." Dane made a face at Julian, who leaned in closer to hear what Logan was saying.

"He's listening now, isn't he?" Logan laughed softly. "Anyway. Then after I told him that we fucked like bunnies."

Dane laughed in that 'this would be awkward if I didn't laugh' way.

Julian burst out laughing.

"Maybe…I shouldn't have said that." Logan laughed, having heard Julian's laugh which was infectious, especially for him. "But anyway. The thing is. If he really likes you like I really liked Julian, then he'll forgive you. I forgave Julian because I literally could not stay away from him. So eventually this guy-"

"Alex."

"So eventually Alex will come back to you because he can't stay away anymore. That's if you were meant to be together. If you weren't, he won't come back to you, and that's how you'll know that you weren't meant to be together."

Julian reached out and grabbed the phone. "But maybe Dane is the one who should come back to Alex?" he said, unsure because he didn't really know what the whole fight was about even or whose fault it was.

"Maybe," Logan said, smiling. "One of them will. Eventually. They both know whose fault it was. Just like you and I knew that it was your fault."

Julian didn't even argue. Normally, if they were talking about anything else, he would, but that fight was one of the only sore subjects he and Logan actually had.

"Give the phone back to Dane," Logan commanded, and Julian did.

"Anyway, as I was saying before I was so _rudely_ interrupted…" Julian rolled his eyes at Logan's words. "If it was your fault, he will forgive you. If it was his fault, you will forgive him. I think you know whose fault it was."

Dane cast his gaze down toward the table, confirming that yes, he did know.

"So uh…Bye?"

"Yeah. See you later, Uncle Logan."

"Bye Dane."

Dane handed the phone back to Julian.

"Thanks," Julian said, setting it on the table in case Logan wanted to call again. "So I feel that we can't break from tradition here…"

Dane groaned.

"Bear with me! I've been preparing my speech for this for like three years, and I think I've got it down." Julian cleared his throat. Dane groaned again. "Dane Seigerson, your father is-"

"Please don't," Dane said, looking pissed.

"It might help!" Julian protested. "It might help with Alex if you just come out."

Dane rolled his eyes. "That's not what the fight was about."

Julian raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." Dane slapped the table. "I don't understand why the hell everyone is always trying to get me to come out of the damn closet. It's fine to be in there! Tons of guys are. It took you like 5 years."

"That's true," Julian mused. "But it almost tore me and Logan apart about _50_ times."

Dane's eyes were the same as Derek's whenever Derek got mad, and it made Julian want to laugh at how alike and also not alike at all Derek and his son were.

"You won't tell him, right?" Dane asked, his eyes growing wide at Julian's expression.

"No way. I would _never_ tell him." Julian paused. "Of course…I think _you_ should…"

"You don't understand," Dane said, almost pleading. "I can't let him down like that."

"You wouldn't be letting him down," Julian said softly.

"Can't we please talk about something else?" Dane asked desperately.

Julian appraised him for a moment. "Sure. Let's talk about something else. So how's baseball going, or did you decide not to do it this year?"


	8. Chapter 8: Falling Apart

**AN: So here's the next chapter! We actually got this one out pretty fast considering how slow the other ones took! We are are grateful to everyone who has reviewed thus far, and specifically to rightfullyscared for actually writing two one-shots about Dalex! Everyone should go check out her fanfiction 'Of Photographs and Dudes' because they are simply amazing. **

**The songs used in this chapter are, 'Jumper' by Third Eye Blind and 'Fallin Apart' by The All American Rejects!**

**If you liked the chapter, please review because they mean the world to us!**

**I wrote the first half of this chapter, and the auditions, and flightofdeathfrench wrote the ending scene.**

**Chapter 8: Falling Apart**

"That's it! Get up! You've been lying there for days now!" Damien tore into the dorm room that he shared with Dane, shaking the still form on the bed.

"What the hell Damien? Stop it!" Dane cried, moving to the far side of the bed, out of Damien's reach.

"Get out of the bed, and come to class. You've already missed first period, and I am not letting you get any more behind than you already are." Damien met Dane's gaze, forcing him to listen. It had been over a week since he and Alex had broken up, and Dane had been missing a lot of classes.

"Fine." Dane shrugged in defeat, lifting himself up from the bed that had become so familiar to him. "I'll go to class alright? Will that make you happy?"

Damien sighed, sitting on the edge of Dane's bed.

"I'm tired of seeing you like this. Didn't Papa's talk help you at all?"

Dane shrugged his shirt off nonchalantly, and reaching for his white button down.

"It's always the same thing. It didn't work before. I don't think anything will ever work."

"Damn it Dane!" Damien growled, moving across the room so that his face was so close to Dane's that he could feel the other boy's breath quicken. "You can't keep doing this to yourself. Stop wallowing in your own self pity and actually do something about it! Have you even called Alex?"

Dane flinched at the name.

"That's what I thought. How can you expect anything to get better if you just stop trying! No one's going to hand you what you want on a silver platter! Look at me and Alice! You think our relationship is rainbows and butterflies all the time? It's not! But I love her, and she loves me, and even though we say things we don't mean, and we fuck things up, we never stop working for it! If you can't even do that, then it's not worth it!"

Dane's eyes widened, as Damien finally moved back, red faced with frustration. The silence stretched on throughout the room, neither of them daring to move, eyes captured as though deciding what to do.

Dane continued to button up his shirt, mulling over what Damien had said, replaying the harsh words in his mind over and over again like a broken record.

After a beat, he responded, breaking the silence like a knife.

"You're right."

Damien looked up from where he had begun to busy himself with his messenger bag.

"You're right. I'm not going to screw anything else up." Dane picked up his uniform pants from the floor, pulling them over the boxers that he had slept in. "I'm not going to think about-" he took in a shaky breath, "A-Alex yet. I will. I will fix things. But not yet. I can't Damien. I just...I'm not ready yet. Not when I'm like this."

Damien nodded, shrugging his bag over his arm, and handing Dane his blazer.

"That's alright. I'm not saying call him right now, but just please stop beating yourself up over this." He patted Dane's forearm comfortingly, giving him a small smile.

"Now come on, we have Warbler practice today, and we're signing up for soloist auditions." Damien paused, as though considering something for the first time. "Maybe...you should audition," he spoke carefully. "It might help."

Dane considered this for a moment, before shaking his head rapidly.

"No."

"I think it would help. You usually audition. Please do it this time, too?"

Dane paused, closing his eyes in concentration.

"Maybe."

* * *

><p>"As you all know, today we begin the vocal auditions for Winter Fest, which is fast approaching." Most of the Warblers were not listening to Mr. Harvey's speech. They had heard it far too many times before. "I remind you to give your full respect to everyone auditioning, and to vote honestly, as I trust you will. "<p>

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this," whispered Dane, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest.

Damien only smirked, pretending to be overly interested in what Harvey had to say.

"And now without further or do, we will begin the auditions, starting with..." he paused to look at his clipboard that had all the names of the Warblers who had signed up. "Damien, are you ready to go?"

Damien looked over to Dane , who also seemed to be thinking something over in his mind, and gave his arm a squeeze before walking to the front of the room, amidst the applause of his peers.

Dane looked up from his seat at Damien. Blue eyes met brown meaningfully before he started to sing.

_I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend._

_You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in_

_And if you do not want to see me again_

_I would understand._

_I would undestand_

Dane took in a breath through his nose, watching Damien sing directly to him. Why would he do something so public? Damien had already talked to Dane this morning, wasn't that enough? For a moment he was angry, crossing his arms over his chest in rage. He didn't need this kind of display.

_The angry boy a bit too insane_

_Icing over with secret pain_

_You know you don't belong_

Damien hoped the song got the point he was trying to make across. He didn't know how else to help his friend. He hated seeing him so completely broken. Every time he looked at him, his heart twisted. He smiled slightly, praying that Dane understood. He felt like no matter what he did, it was never enough to make Dane understand.

Damien's voice had a color in it that portrayed every emotion he was feeling when he sung. He might not have been able to show Dane how much he really cared about him through words, but this way he could at least show him.

_You're the first to fight_

_The last one out_

_You're the flash of light on a burial shroud._

_I know something's wrong._

_But everyone deserves to have a reason_

_To say_

_Put the past away_

Dane bit his lip to stop himself from getting overly emotional. He couldn't help but feel something when Damien was singing to him like that. To everyone else in Warbler Hall he had no reason to be upset. Damien was always trying to make him feel better about himself, and he was eternally grateful for it, even if he felt a little guilty.

_I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend_

_You could cut ties from all the lies that you've been living in_

_And, if you do not want to see me again_

_I would understand._

_I would undertstand._

_I would understand_

Lucie turned around in her seat to give Dane a small understanding smile. Dane looked away the moment that their eyes locked. He couldn't even look at her anymore without seeing Alex. She really should hate him after what had happened. He didn't deserve her pity.

Damien's strong voice softened with emotion as he uttered the last few lyrics of the song, and the whole hall erupted into applause.

Dane smiled noncommittally over at Damien, who returned the gesture by squeezing Dane's forearm in support. Harvey called Dane's name next, and he took a huge gulp of air in preparing for what he was about to do.

His whole body was wired as he stepped in front of the room, and for a moment, he considered telling Harvey he was sorry and leaving the hall. Damien was watching him with undivided interest, as though urging him to start singing. He closed his eyes, took a final deep breath in, and began.

Dane's voice was different than Damien's. It didn't have that natural color to it, but it portrayed all the emotions that Dane was feeling at the moment. As hard as it was for him to express how he felt, he knew that he could say exactly what he was thinking in song without being judged for it. Nobody in the room knew what he was talking about, other than Lucie and Damien of course, and he could say everything that needed to be said.

_Can somebody save me? 'Cause I'm thinkin' maybe  
>That you can take me piece by piece<br>Then you got your reasons but I didn't need them  
>And either way I'm on my knees, yeah<em>

Alex was the only person that had ever seen behind his facade. When he talked to Alex, all of his problems seemed less significant, like he could actually feel happy for once. He had thought that maybe, just maybe, Alex would be able to help him get better.

Then he had to ruin everything. Alex was right to think those things about him, about how he was a liar and used people.

_You knew when I was wrong, you say that I'm deranged  
>I can see that you're uneasy and it's not gonna change<br>And no matter how far wherever you_

He should have known that Alex would finally see him for what he really was; nothing. It was better for him that he figured it out before he transferred, rather than realizing his huge mistake later. Dane couldn't change who he was. He always ended up screwing things up in the end.

_Wherever you go I'm crawlin'  
>Even when you're breakin' my heart<br>Wherever you go I'm crawlin'  
>Even when we're fallin', even when we're fallin' apart<em>

If Alex ever wanted him back, he would be right there waiting. Of course, that would never happen. Alex would never let someone as sorry as him back into his life.

_You say that you're leavin', say that you don't need him  
>And I'll I do is give and you just take<br>I guess that I knew it, I can't make it through it  
>But I'm gonna try this anyway<em>

_You knew when I was wrong, you knew that I'm deranged  
>I can see that you're uneasy and it's not gonna change<br>And no matter how far wherever you_

All Dane ever did was take from Alex. He had asked Alex to transfer to Ohio, even though he knew that he hated it there. How selfish could he get? Of course Alex would be apprehensive about moving to a completely different school for someone like him. If Alex ever decided to talk to him again, he would change that. He would make sure that he never asked too much of him.

Y_eah, wherever you are, wherever you go I'm callin'  
>Even when you're breakin' my heart<br>Wherever you go I'm crawlin'  
>Even when we're fallin', even when we're fallin' apart<em>

_Wherever you go I'm crawlin'  
>Wherever you go I'm crawlin'<br>Wherever you go I'm crawlin'  
>Even when we're fallin', even when we're fallin' apart<br>Yeah, I guess we're fallin' apart_

_Looks like we're fallin' apart  
>Yeah, I guess we're fallin' apart<em>

* * *

><p>'<em>Napoleon invaded Russia in the summer of-'<em>

There was a knock on Dane's dorm room door. He sighed. Probably Damien. Probably forgot his key.

He shut the history textbook, shoved his notebook off his lap, clicked his pen closed so it wouldn't dry out, and rolled off the bed. "Coming," he grumbled, annoyed.

_Remember. Be nice. He doesn't do this _that _often. And you don't want to lose the only real friend you have_.

Dane opened the door, fully expecting an apologetic-looking Damien.

Instead he got Alex Van Kamp-Anderson.

Dane blinked. He didn't say anything, just blinked. That was all he could do, that was all he trusted himself to do.

Brown eyes stared into grey, just looking, seeing, taking everything in.

"I uh…" Alex broke eye contact with Dane for the first time to glance shyly down to a plate he was holding. It was covered in aluminum foil, and on the top, a sticky note said, in careful lettering: "CREM BRU LAY"

"This is for you," Alex said softly, shoving it into the open space between the two boys.

Dane took it, still blinking, that was still the only thing he could do.

Alex was actually here…?

Alex, meanwhile, watched Dane carefully as he gingerly took the crème brulee. He watched as Dane set it on the couch next to them and blinked at Alex some more. Alex couldn't tell what he was thinking; he honestly had no idea if Dane was pleased to see him or upset.

Maybe it was a mix.

There was only one way to find out.

Alex bit his lip, and then decided to just go for it, because he honestly had nothing to lose.

He stepped forward, slowly, closer to Dane, slow motion, giving Dane time to react, pull away, come forward, do something.

Dane stayed exactly where he was.

He didn't pull back, though, so Alex closed the distance between them and then just…

Leaned forward and pressed their lips together, softly, gently.

It took a moment, but finally Dane reacted to the kiss, and kissed Alex back. He put his hand in Alex's hair, carefully holding the photographer's head in place, and his other hand came up to Alex's cheek.

And still they kissed.

They kissed until they couldn't, and when they couldn't, they pulled away and wished they could kiss some more.

"You," Dane said, slightly out of breath, "are definitely _not_ a bad kisser."


	9. Chapter 9: Reunited

**AN: Thank you everyone who's been reading so far! We're so happy for all of the feedback that we've gotten. Everyone go read rightfullyscared's fanfiction for Dalex called, 'Of Photographs and Dudes'. It is amazing and everyone needs to read and review for her because she has Dalex so in character that it's scary. I wrote the Dalex scene and the scene with Luke in the auditorium and Helen (flightofdeathfrench) wrote the two other scenes! Please R&R**

**Chapter 9: Reunited**

Dane was still barely aware that this was actually happening. He kept thinking that this was all just some amazing, beautiful dream, and that when he woke up Alex would still be far away in New York where he should be. But the warm lips that had been pressed against his were a reminder that he was, in fact, not dreaming at all. This was all real. All so extremely real that it made Dane's head spin a little.

"You," Dane said, slightly out of breath, "are definitely _not _a bad kisser."

_Click_

The camera sounded into the air, furthering Dane's realization that this was in fact, not a dream.

"You aren't so bad yourself." Alex shifted on the balls of his feet, letting out a hesitant laugh, which Dane echoed.

The two stood like that for a few minutes, both contemplating where exactly to go from where they were; both afraid that, at any moment, the other would disappear.

It was Dane who spoke first this time, clearing his throat.

"You transferred."

It wasn't a question. Alex rubbed the back of his neck.

"I did," he sighed, fumbling with the camera in his hands. "It wasn't like I had a choice anyway. Transfers aren't exactly the easiest thing to undo."

Dane nodded, disappointed. So Alex really hadn't wanted to transfer after all.

"Oh." It was all Dane trusted himself to say at the moment. He didn't want to ruin their already fragile relationship.

"No!" Alex's eyes widened, shaking his head. "No. I didn't mean it like that. I wanted to transfer. I..." He tilted his head down to look at his feet, "I missed you."

Dane felt his chest tighten.

"Why didn't you call?"

"Why didn't you?"

"Touche."

Dane took this opportunity to look at Alex, actually _look _at him. His hair was slightly mussed, as it usually was, but the one thing that really caught his attention was the bags that had been made prominent under both of his eyes. It looked as though he hadn't had a good night's rest in a few weeks.

"Alex..." he began carefully, reaching out graze his thumb along Alex's cheek, "I'm so sorry."

"You shouldn't be sorry. It was my fault. I should have trusted you."

Dane shook his head, moving so that he had Alex's face cupped between his thumbs.

"You were right to be concerned. I should have listened to you without blowing up. I do that all the time. I told you. I screw things up." His voice broke. "I don't deserve to have you here. You gave up so much for _me_."

Alex leaned into Dane's touch, memorizing the feel of the rough fingers against his skin, still in disbelief that this was actually_real._

"I wanted to come here," he responded sincerely, flashing a small smile up at Dane. "Even if you didn't want me anymore, I wasn't about to go down without a fight."

Dane smiled, a real smile. He had almost forgotten what it felt like.

"Are we going to stand in the doorway for an hour or..." Alex began after a few moments of silence. Dane laughed, as though he had only just realized where they were. He strode over to his bed and motioned for Alex to sit down.

"Dane Seigerson, are you trying to seduce me again?"

Dane grinned cockily, leaning back on the bed and putting his hands behind his head.

"Maybe," he stated simply, waggling his eyebrows up and down.

Alex laughed, before snapping another picture. He laid back onto the bed himself, smiling blissfully.

"I love you."

Dane blinked, snapping his head to the side to meet the flash of Alex's camera.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that, please," he sputtered, turning over onto his side. There was no way he could have heard him correctly the first time.

Alex blushed, swallowing the lump inside his throat as he moved closer to Dane, looking him straight in the eye.

"I love you," he repeated, his breath tickling Dane's lips, sending delicious shivers up his spine.

Dane sucked in a deep breath, running his had up Alex's neck to rest on the back of his head.

"Alex..." he sighed, unable to stop smiling. Their noses brushed as they moved closer to each other, just enjoying the feel of the other's breath mingling with their own. "I love you too."

That did it. Alex closed the short distance between them, resting his hand on Dane's face as they kissed for the second time.

This time it was different than the last. Everything was drawn out, with a sort of gentleness that fueled every movement. It was all touch, and feel, and need.

Alex felt Dane run his hand down his back, and he gasped at the sensation, losing himself completely in the boy that he _loved._

And when they both could no longer breathe, they leaned their heads against each other, unwilling to let the other go just yet

* * *

><p>"Are you okay?" Damien whispered, leaning across the aisle to stare worriedly into his girlfriend's eyes.<p>

"Yeah," she whispered back, not looking at him, watching the teacher with great interest.

"You're really pale." Damien reached out to touch her arm and she jerked away. Her breath was faint. "Come on. Say you're sick. I'll take you to the nurse."

"I don't want to go to the nurse," she hissed.

Damien sat up straight and raised his hand.

"No!" Alice cried, but the teacher called on Damien.

"Yes, Damien?"

"Yeah, uh, Alice doesn't feel good. She thinks she might throw up. Can we go to the nurse? I'll take her." Damien gave the teacher a charming smile and it was a good thing the teacher was a fan of his papa because she said they could go.

Damien stood up and threw his books into his bag (the period was almost over anyway) and did the same for Alice's books. He slung both bags over his shoulders and walked out of the classroom, leaving Alice no choice but to follow.

"I cannot believe you did that, I'm _fine_," Alice said once they were in the hallway, the door shut behind them.

"I just sprung you out of class and you're yelling at me?" Damien rolled his eyes. "Gee, thanks."

Alice looked straight ahead, concentrating on not stumbling as she walked.

"Hey…" Damien stopped and turned toward her. She stopped too but didn't face him. "Are you sure you're okay? You look kinda…"

"I'm _fine_," she snapped, then she sort of fell a little bit but caught herself just in time.

"Okay, we're definitely going to the nurse," Damien said, putting his arms around her. Then, in one fluid movement, he swept one of his arms under her knees and picked her up, bridal style.

"Put me _down_, Damien!" she exclaimed, but she was laughing.

"Let's go to the nurse," Damien said, whirling her about before walking valiantly in the direction of the infirmary.

"Wait!" Alice put her arms around his neck and looked up into his eyes. "Can't we just go somewhere? And sit? You and me?"

"No…you need to go to the nurse." Damien sighed and hoisted Alice into a more comfortable position in his arms.

"I'm fine. Just please. Take me outside, I just need fresh air." Alice smiled what she hoped was a convincing smile, and then she struggled, making Damien set her down.

"Fine." Damien kissed her lips quickly, and then pulled back, still looking concerned. "If that's what you really want."

"I do."

The two made their way to the lawn, where Damien found a nice big oak tree and he sat down under it, setting their backpacks on the grass. "C'mon," he said, patting his lap, and Alice smiled at him before practically falling onto him.

Damien made an _unf_ noise when she landed on him, all her weight (not that it was very much at all) crashing into him.

"Am I too heavy?" she asked, worriedly spinning around to look at him.

"No, no!" He put his hands up in defense (he knew that girls could be really self-conscious about their weight). "You're fine, you're beautiful."

"I'm beautiful even though I'm fat?" Alice's eyebrows had nearly met her hairline.

"You aren't fat, you're one of the skinniest girls in school." Damien was a little miffed now. Alice _was_ thin, she was tiny. Didn't she own a mirror? "Don't go by those fun house mirrors, they lie to you."

Normally Alice would laugh and joke right back about the fun house mirrors, but she didn't. She just turned around slowly and leaned back against Damien, who wrapped his arms protectively around her.

"You're perfect, darling," he whispered into her ear.

* * *

><p>Luke smiled to himself, slinging his bookbag over his shoulder as the bell rang, signifying the end to his last class of the day. He walked along the crowded hallways, trying not to get trampled as he made his way over to the auditorium.<p>

Sometimes, when he had to think about something, he would spend hours messing with the lighting on the stage, or making sure that everything was perfectly in place for an upcoming performance. It was one of the only places he could be completely alone, and away from the craziness that was Windsor House. Now that he had Alex as his roommate he had even less personal space than he had before. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy the new company, but there were times when he wished that he had a moment to himself.

He opened the auditorium door and slid in, careful to make sure that no one was behind him and stopped in his tracks upon hearing music playing from an iHome that was plugged into the outlet on the stage.

He ducked down into one of the aisles, peaking out to get a better look at where the music was coming from.

There on the stage, were Lucie and Dane, clasped against each other, dancing. Luke gasped, ducking back down under the seat that he was hidden behind. Lucie and Dane? It couldn't be. They couldn't actually have anything going on. Could they?

He peeked out from behind the chair again, making sure that he was out of sight from the two on the stage. Dane had his hand on Lucie's waist, spinning her around and catching her in his arms as the two of them laughed. Dane brought Lucie back up to eye level and leaned over to whisper something in her ear, causing both of them to double over in a fit of giggles.

"Oh my God this is so awkward," whispered Dane, with a small grin on his lips. Lucie laughed so hard that she fell onto the floor. She and Dane had always danced together like this, they were the ones that came up with most of the dances for the Warblers, after all. But now that Alex and Dane were dating, everything was different.

"I'm sure you wouldn't mind if it was Alex you were dancing with," Lucie responded boldly, once her giggles had subsided.

"Shut up," Dane rolled his eyes, extending his arm to Lucie, who was still on the floor. "We both know who you'd rather be dancing with." Lucie blushed, taking Dane's hand. "You and that Houston kid huh? Are you guys together yet?"

"No!" Lucie responded almost automatically, walking over to turn her iPod off. "We're just friends," she added hastily, not daring to look at Dane.

"Uhuh. Sure you are. It always starts out that way you know," he deadpanned, leaning against the stage wall. "Then one day you're making out in the supply closet..."

"Dane!"

"I'm just saying!" he flung his hands up surrender, not even trying to hide the smirk on his face.

"So," Lucie began hastily in an attempt to change the subject, "I was thinking that maybe we should try something more like this for Regionals. Something slower. What do you think?"

Luke gasped in horror as the soft music began to fill the theater, and Dane brought his arm to rest around Lucie's waist again. He couldn't stand to watch anymore. Slowly, he tiptoed up the aisle and out the auditorium, letting the door slam shut behind him.

Dane and Lucie looked up from what they were doing in time to notice the door shut, and turned toward each other with identical looks of confusion

* * *

><p>"Hey." Alex walked into his dorm room and flopped down on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, smiling to himself. He and Dane had just gotten back from dinner ('as friends'). He had so many pictures to develop but he was afraid to do it with Luke in the room.<p>

It was weird, having a roommate. Like all of a sudden he felt like he was constantly being watched; and Luke wasn't as weird as Alex's dads said his father, Dwight, was, but he was still kind of superstitious. Always warned Alex against being awake during Witching Hour.

"Hey," Luke replied, looking up from his math homework. "So how was your night?"

"Good, and how was yours?" Alex was always careful to steer away from sharing details about his life involving Dane. He just said that he and Dane were good friends.

"It was…" Luke put aside his math textbook. "Could I tell you something?"

"Sure." Alex sat up. "Anything."

"So I saw your sister…dancing with a guy."

Alex blinked in surprise. _But she likes Luke…_ "Oh? Who?"

"Your friend. Dane Seigerson?"

If Alex had been drinking water, his bedspread would've gotten all wet at this. He choked down a laugh. "Um. I doubt that's a problem. She doesn't like Dane."

"They were laughing and dancing…really intimate."

"They're dance partners," Alex said like Isn't it obvious? "And I know that Dane likes someone else."

"Who?" Luke leaned forward. "Because he seemed really into her. He was whispering stuff in her ear and making her laugh."

"They're friends." Alex was getting a little annoyed but in Luke's eyes he didn't have any reason to be annoyed, so he had to stay calm and pretend like he didn't really care about the matter.

But Lucie liked Luke, and Luke obviously liked Lucie, so Alex couldn't help but want to speed that along – for his sister's sake.

"Well…I know for a fact that Dane _definitely _likes someone else…" He paused, weighing the merits of saying the next thing. Then he just decided to go for it: "And so does Lucie."

"Oh?" Luke leaned even farther forward, so that he was in danger of falling off the bed. "Who? WHO? TELL ME WHO."

"I can't tell you. But he goes here." Alex smiled as a plan formulated in his mind. "Show up in the auditorium. She'll be there with him." He paused. "You like her, don't you?"

"She will? She'll be there with him?" Luke frowned. "Would it be weird if I…?"

"Not at all. You should definitely go."


	10. Chapter 10: Flashbacks

**AN: We are so sorry that this update took so long! Things have been crazy with Chapter 26 of Dalton posted and we were just fangirling. We figured it would be better to post this chapter after Chapter 26 anyway, considering the subject matter of this chapter...**

**Please review with your feedback! We honestly want to know what you think! This chapter is made up entirely of flashbacks. The parts with Dane were written by flightofdeathfrench and I wrote the other two sections!**

_**REALLY IMPORTANT: FROM HERE ON OUT, WE'RE PLACING A TRIGGER WARNING. IF YOU KNOW THAT YOU HAVE ISSUES WITH READING ABOUT SELF-HARM AND/OR SUICIDE, WE STRONGLY RECOMMEND THAT YOU STOP HERE. Or you could skip the Dane parts of this chapter – this is the worst of it. **_

**Chapter 10: Flashbacks**

Damien wasn't there. He was out for dinner with Alice. So Dane was all alone. That was fine with him – he needed to be alone. He'd had a terrible day, one of the worst kind, where he made out with a girl and got to second base with her in the utility closet near the auditorium. He couldn't get her out of his head, but not in a good way. Not in a good way at all.

Damien had left his math textbook open on his bed, and Dane looked to see what page it was open to, because he had forgotten to write it down.

_I'm such an idiot._

He wrote the page number on his arm in big letters, right on top of where his veins clustered, and it hurt in a really good way.

Dane didn't feel like doing the math homework right now, maybe he wouldn't do it at all, it wasn't as though he understood the concept the teacher was talking about. He'd been too busy passing flirty notes with Utility Closet Girl. It took a lot of concentration to act flirty when you didn't want to be. Dane couldn't remember the last time he'd acted flirty because he legitimately liked someone.

_I can't remember the last time I legitimately liked someone._

He had to pee. He walked into the bathroom, sighing and rubbing his eyes. He was tired. Maybe he should sleep.

_I'm always tired, I can never be okay._

He glanced in the mirror as he closed the door, and he saw someone he barely recognized. Dark bags under his eyes, his hair was kind of greasy because he'd woken up late that morning and hadn't been able to take a shower, his lips were chapped from making out with so many girls lately...

_Who the hell is this guy?_

There was a note on the counter of the sink from Damien, and he picked it up and looked at it. 'Dane – would you mind cleaning up the toothpaste from the sink? You always leave it there and it's borderline disgusting. -Damien'

_I'm borderline disgusting._

_I'm flat-out disgusting._

Dane rubbed at the toothpaste with his finger. It was dried up – how long had it been there?

_I always fuck things up._

"You always fuck things up," he said loudly to the stranger in the mirror.

Then he got mad – mad at himself – and he punched the stranger in the mirror, hard, very hard, breaking the glass into large pieces.

_I always fuck things up._

The stranger in the mirror became the stranger in the bathroom, and the stranger pulled at the mirror pieces, finally getting one free. He looked at himself in it – wild eyes – and then without thinking about it drew it across his wrist, where the numbers were, hard, really hard. It hurt and it felt so bad and it was perfect.

_I always fuck things up._

He should just stop hurting people. He should just hurt himself. That seemed like a great idea, so he kept pushing, into the scrape that was already there, until he drew blood. Red, crimson, it slowly dripped toward the floor, and a sick smile spread across his face.

_I like the color red._

He kept going, couldn't stop now, not now, not ever, not until he absolutely had to. When his arm had been reduced to a bloody mess, Dane looked at it still smiling, proud of his artwork.

"Perfect," he whispered. He wasn't but he liked to pretend.

_Maybe this is it. Maybe this could be the end._

Once the thought occurred to him he couldn't let it go. Instant obsession.

_This could be the end._

He could stop hurting people. Everyone would be better off if he wasn't there.

Lucky everyone.

Eventually blackness took over and he really thought it was the end. He really hoped it was the end.

"So," began Shane, taking a sip of his water, "What did you two do today?"

Lucie frowned, raising an eyebrow at her brother, who smiled innocently and took a swig of his milk.

"Should I have asked?" Shane laughed, sending an amused smile to his husband, who rolled his eyes.

"Well, why don't you ask Alex?"

The three eyes of the family all turned to Alex, who was wearing an amused expression of his own.

"What?" He shrugged his shoulders. "I just took a few pictures, I don't see what the-"

"Yeah, pictures of me in my room with Alice! What were you even doing?" Lucie interrupted him, groaning, "You always do that!"

"Alex, I told you that you can't take pictures of people without their permission," added Reed, looking wearily at his son.

Alex's eyes widened in disbelief.

"Papa! I was just taking a picture of them! It's art!" He looked back to his plate, stirring around his broccoli, and mumbling, "Besides...It's not every day you catch the Ice Princess out of her natural habitat."

"Alexander!"

Shane bit his lip, fighting to keep his expression stern.

"You know it's serious when he brings out the 'Alexander,'" he commented, shaking his fork for emphasis.

"Shane!"

"Sorry."

Alex rolled his eyes dramatically.

"Papa, it's not my fault that I'm concerned about Lucie's well being. Honestly, who knows, Alice could have eaten her alive."

Lucie groaned.

"Alex! She's my friend, and our cousin. Stop starting fights!"

"She's the one that starts the fights, Luce! She's like the devil-reincarnate! A harpie!"

Reed shook his head, running a hand through his hair in frustration. Shane decided to take the reins for a while. Reed was stressed, especially with Fashion Week coming up, and he knew for a fact that he was already at wit's end. He hated seeing him like that, and if he could do anything to make it easier for him, he would.

"Alex," he began slowly, "While I understand that you and Alice don't get along, that doesn't mean you can spy on her and take pictures of her without her permission. That goes for anybody."

Alex shoved a piece of broccoli in his mouth, as though pretending it was Alice's head. He chewed loudly and mumbled, "Fine."

Lucie rolled her eyes.

"So," Shane began, in an attempt to do away with the tense atmosphere. "Did you get any good shots?"

Alex looked up from where his vision was trained on his dish and smiled at his Dad.

"You bet."

Luke scribbled a few notes in his journal, gazing out the window at the grey sky.

He hated it here.

He missed London. He missed the bustling streets, and the interesting people.

Here everyone was boring.

He sighed, laying his head on his knees. He hadn't had any inspiration to write for the last week since he had arrived in Ohio.

A knock on the door shook him, and he jumped a little. He reached for his Nerf gun from his pocket and made his way cautiously toward the door.

He turned the knob, keeping on hand on the Nerf gun, and sighed in relief upon seeing the Windsor prefect, Aaron.

"Hey, everything alright in here?" He eyed the Nerf gun and laughed. "You're definitely catching on to the Windsor style of living."

Luke laughed halfheartedly.

"So anyway," continued Aaron after a moment's silence, "I just wanted to make sure that you were doing alright. I know it's been a big change for you."

Luke nodded.

"Everything's fine. I was just writing to my mum and dad," he motioned toward the open notebook on the window seat. "Trying to avoid the madness and all that."

"Well," Aaron said, "If you need anything, I'm always open to talk." He smiled sadly at Luke. He knew that he had been having a hard time adjusting to things at Dalton. He was silent, and he never talked to any of the other boys in the dorm. Sometimes it was like his mind was off somewhere else entirely.

"Thanks." Luke returned the smile, eyes flickering back to the window. Aaron took this as his cue to leave.

Luke grabbed his notebook, and returned to his previous position, glancing sideways out the window that he had already memorized the view from in the last few days.

He liked to look out at all the people and imagine what they were thinking, where they were going, what they were like. Sometimes he even made up stories about them. It was probably weird to think about that sort of thing, but Luke didn't care. He already knew that his way of thinking wasn't normal.

There was one girl that always walked by his window that particularly caught his attention.

She was short, really short, but somehow she managed to make it look adorable, and she had the most beautiful long blonde hair that he had ever seen. He knew it was slightly creepy to just sit in his window and stare at her, but he couldn't really help it. And it wasn't as if she would actually _know_that he was staring at her, so it was harmless.

Today, like most days, she was walking with a thin girl with dark brown hair. They were talking animatedly about something or other. Probably something normal. Normal things that he didn't know about. He saw the girl laugh, her whole face turning red from lack of oxygen.

He smiled, reached for his pen, and began to write for the first time in the last week

"_I love you," Dane whispered, lying, always lying. Blonde hair spilled across the pillow next to him, he played with it, as though he loved long blonde hair._

_Lie._

_Even in his dreams it was a lie._

_All of a sudden the long blonde hair disappeared, and Dane looked up surprised, to see a boy. A really hot boy. Naked. In his bed._

_Dane scrambled up, scared, disturbed, why was there a boy in his bed?_

_"Come on, Dane. Lay down. You know you want me." The boy's voice was taunting and laughing at him._

_The door behind Dane opened and his father walked in._

_"You've been lying to me," his dad said in a loud, flat, emotionless voice that reverberated through the room, echoing, so Dane heard it again and again._

_It was as he was struggling for a response that Dane woke up._

He wasn't screaming, thank goodness. Sometimes he woke up screaming and that was the worst, because then Damien and everyone else in the house knew that he was screaming in his sleep. What kind of guy screams in his sleep?

Once he got over the instant relief that he hadn't been screaming, Dane remembered the dream he'd had and he almost did scream. Why did he always have to dream about this stuff?

It made no sense but he was suddenly terrified. What if his dad knowing in the dream meant that his dad knew in real life? What if those people who thought that dreams were actually more than just dreams were right? What if dreams reflected a harsh reality wherein Dane's dad knew that he was gay?

But no, of course not, Dane was perfect, he'd never slipped up, he lied and lied and lied for hours and hours and hours on end and he never once messed up, his dad had never once suspected anything.

Dane was perfect.

A perfect liar.

Shifting on his bed, Dane remembered something, something that he'd put under his mattress back when he kept having those nightmares about demons coming out of the closet to get him. It helped him sleep and now the thought of it encroached on his every other thought. He couldn't think of anything else and so he stood up and picked up the mattress, pushing it aside, being very, very quiet so he wouldn't wake Damien.

There it was, it wasn't gleaming in the moonlight, it was dull and old but it was there.

He picked it up, smiling to himself, feeling better just looking at it.

The blade was sharp. He ran his finger along it, feeling a tiny slice, like a papercut, a drop of blood oozing out of it.

Dane licked the blood from his finger. It tasted like blood – of course.

Still smiling like a madman, like someone who's about to commit murder, Dane watched Damien's sleeping form. He watched the gentle rise and fall of Damien's chest. He thought about how peaceful Damien looked when he was asleep, and how agitated and upset he looked when he was awake, when he was talking to Dane. Suddenly in his mind everyone seemed agitated and upset when they talked to him, paranoid killing him, he felt really tired and really old, like he was 95 at the end of his life. He could look back and he wondered what he saw. He saw nothing, nothing he'd ever done for anyone, only things he'd done _to_them, only really awful things.

For the second time in his life, Dane wanted to die.

And this time he knew how to make it happen.

He was awful, he was terrible, but he knew that it would work and it would make everything better for everyone, especially Damien.

So he crept across the room, still not wanting to wake Damien, not until the very last minute.

He shook Damien awake with the hand not holding the knife. Damien stirred, and his eyelids fluttered open. "Dane?" he murmured, tiredness clouding his voice.

"Damien, I need you to do something for me."

"What is it?" Damien sat up slowly, stretching a little.

"I need you to kill me."

Damien shot forward in alarm. He saw the knife and he concluded fairly quickly that Dane wasn't joking.

"I know you don't want to, but if you don't do it, then I will." Dane turned the knife just slightly so it was facing toward his chest.

"You won't," Damien choked out, standing up slowly.

"I will." Dane's gaze was unblinking as he stared at Damien. He was barely even aware of what he was doing.

"No, you won't." Damien swallowed and his adam's apple bobbed up then down.

"Don't tell me what I won't do because you know that I will." There was barely any logic in this and Dane knew it but maybe that was the way to go.

Then Damien was tackling Dane to the ground, grabbing the knife out of Dane's hands, and Dane felt a faint glimmer of hope that maybe Damien had realized that it was what was best and he was going to follow Dane's wishes.

And kill him.

But then the window broke and Dane realized slowly, in stages, that Damien had taken the knife to throw it out the window, and Damien was _not_ going to kill Dane, and that Dane couldn't kill Dane, either.

Shit.


	11. Chapter 11: A Day in the Life

**AN: So it's now 3:15 here and I just finished writing my parts of the chapter. I'm sorry if there are a lot of grammatical errors. I'll probably look back at this in the morning and groan. But now it's late and I just want to put this up. Flightofdeathfrench wrote the scenes with Dalex at the end, and Lucie in the Cafeteria. I wrote the rest of the chapter. Please review if you're reading! We've been so grateful to everyone who has reviewed thus far! **

**IMPORTANT NOTICE PLEASE READ: ** **The last chapter was a flashback chapter. I explained in the author's note, but a few people were confused. I'm sorry for the confusion!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 11: A Day in the Life<strong>

"I have so much work," groaned Alex, walking up to Stuart house where he and Dane had met every day for the past week before school.

"Good morning to you too, Anders." Dane laughed, shaking his head as he walked toward the school with Alex following suit. He cocked his head to the side,taking in his boyfriend's appearance. He had bags under his eyes, and looked as though he was in some serious need of coffee. "Long night?"

Alex nodded, rubbing his eye and yawning.

"That would be an understatement." He laughed halfheartedly, looking over at Dane, "It's nothing that I can't handle, though. Once I do all of the makeup work it won't be so bad." He shrugged.

"I don't envy you," Dane admitted, "I probably don't make things any easier when I talk to you all night on chat."

"Oh please," Alex rolled his eyes, grinning at Dane, "I can multitask. We are _best friends _after all." Dane laughed outwardly, but his chest clenched. He hated to be reminded of the fact that he couldn't be public about his relationship with Alex. It was just another lie that he would have to live with.

"That's right, dude." He punched the side of Alex's arm playfully, before the two entered the school.

"Well," Alex began, shifting on the balls of his feet, "This is where we go our separate ways." He slapped a hand to his chest dramatically, pretending to be wounded. Dane laughed, rolling his eyes.

"Parting is such sweet sorrow." Dane played along, smiling sadly at Alex before they both walked away to their respective classes. Dane glanced backwards, surprised to meet Alex's eyes. They both laughed, nearly bumping into the other people in the hallway.

* * *

><p>"Alex-"<p>

"Here!" Alex interrupted, sinking down in his seat. He vowed never to let the teacher finish his name. He met the gaze of the girl next to him, Maddie, and smirked.

"I totally get it. I hate it when they say-"

"Madeline-"

"Here!"

"That," she laughed, smiling at Alex understandingly. Maddie was a tall girl with blonde hair that was accentuated by blue highlights. She and Alex had become friends after he discovered her passion for film, which was, of course, on the same line of interest as Alex's photography. She brought a small flip camera around with her almost everywhere, so she understood Alex's need to always have his camera on hand.

"You two are crazy," said a tentative voice from behind Alex. He turned around raising an eyebrow at his other classmate, Ryan.

"And this is news?" he asked sarcastically. Ryan grinned, scribbling something in his notebook. Ryan was a quiet boy, that was always doodling in his notebook in the back of the class. He was so thrown into his work, that he tended to ignore everyone else around him.

When the teacher had finished roll, she sat back and began typing on her laptop. It was only homeroom, which lasted for about ten minutes before first period every day, so the students could talk or do whatever they wanted until the bell rang.

"What are you drawing?" asked Alex conversationally. He turned around to look at Ryan curiously. He had his head down, messy chestnut hair in his eyes. He looked up, brown eyes wide, and hugged his notebook to his chest.

"It's just doodles. Nothing special." He shrugged, before returning to whatever he was working on under the desk.

"Don't listen to him," Maddie cut in, leaning toward Alex and pretending to whisper, "He's practically Van Gogh."

"Van Gogh was a painter, Maddie." Ryan looked up from his notebook and rolled his eyes. "I don't paint." He waved his pencil around as he talked.

"Yeah, but you do something, obviously," pointed out Alex, "Come on, can't you show me at least one sketch? I promise not to judge you. I can't draw to save my life, anyway." He decided not to mention that his dad was an artist.

Ryan took a deep breath, looking from his notebook and back to Alex, having an inner battle with himself.

"Alright. You can look," he decided, and before Alex could say anything he added, "But _only _at one page!" He narrowed his eyes, and Alex nodded.

"Here." he shoved the notebook across his desk toward Alex before hiding his head on the desk in embarrassment.

Alex rolled his eyes and picked up the notebook.

"Wow," he gasped, staring at the page. They were covered with pictures of people. Some he recognized, some he did not. He saw a picture of Maddie and grinned. It looked exactly like her. "These are really great, Ryan, and I'm not just saying that because I have to."

"So you don't think I'm a complete creep?" Ryan's voice came out muffled, keeping his head in his arms. Alex saw his eyes poke out from under his hair and laughed.

"You're talking to the boy who has over a hundred candid photos of people he's never met before in his life," Alex pointed out, grinning. "So if you're a creep, then I guess I am too."

Ryan looked up for the first time, and smiled.

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

* * *

><p>Alice leaned against the sink, trying desperately not to fall over. She looked down and back up to the mirror, running a hand through her hair. It had been so dry lately, and her skin wasn't much better. She inspected the dark circles under her eyes before turning away from the mirror entirely.<p>

"Alice?"

She turned around in the direction of the noise and groaned, rubbing her temple. Her head hurt.

"Lucie?"

The smile melted off of the blonde's face.

"Are you okay?" she asked, walking over to the sink and looking at Alice in the mirror. "You look like you're about to faint." She turned on the sink, but didn't take her eyes off of Alice.

"I'm fine," Alice snapped, leaning on her hip. "I'm just tired."

Lucie eyed her incredulously as she reached for the towel dispenser.

"You went to bed early last night."

"So?"

"So you shouldn't be tired," Lucie responded with a small smile, "Maybe you just need to get some lunch in your system."

Alice looked down.

"I'm not hungry."

"What do you mean you're 'not hungry'?"

"I had a big breakfast," Alice shrugged, attempting to make an exit when the bell rang. Lucie stepped in front of the door, preventing her from leaving.

"You didn't eat breakfast, I was there. In fact, you've barely touched anything for the last few days." Alice opened her mouth to say something, but Lucie was already ahead of her. "Alice," she began, eyes wide, "Are you trying to lose weight?"

Alice tried to leave, but Lucie reached for the lock before she could attempt to get through the door. Alice groaned, crossing her arms over her chest.

"So what if I am? I'm just trying to get in the best condition that I can! Obviously _you _don't care about how you look, but _I _do."

Lucie tugged at her blazer self-consciously.

"This isn't healthy, Alice," she mumbled, "This is a serious thing. You have a-anorexia." She could barely say the word. How could she have let this go unnoticed for so long?

Alice didn't say anything, she kept her gaze trained on the ground. The air was so stale that Lucie found herself a bit dizzy with all the questions spinning around in her head.

"Does Damien know?"

"He doesn't need to," responded Alice almost instantly. "It's my body. I can do what I want. He doesn't own me."

"He does need to know, though! He's your boyfriend, and he loves you!You aren't supposed to hide things like this from him."

"Like you would know anything about that!" Alice hissed. Lucie bit her lip, and for a moment, Alice considered taking her comment back. She stopped herself. Lucie had no right to dig into her life like this. She had it coming.

"You know what, Alice," Lucie began after a long beat. Her voice was so cold that Alice's heart sank. "I may not know anything about relationships, but I do know that you shouldn't be hiding something like this from Damien. You should have told me, at least. I thought we were friends," her voice shook, "I don't like seeing you like this. It's not healthy, Alice, and I'm just trying to help you right now."

"Well don't!" Their eyes met, both so full of pain and betrayal that Lucie had to look away.

"I'm going to lunch." And with that, Lucie twisted the lock to the bathroom and nearly ran down the hallway.

She had to tell Damien.

* * *

><p>Lucie rushed into the cafeteria, breathing heavily, cheeks pink. She couldn't believe this. She <em>could not believe <em>this. Alice was anorexic?

Lucie felt like she might faint. She knew a few patients at the hospital with anorexia and it was _not _a pretty disease. Not at all. Lucie had to tell Damien, Damien had a good head on his shoulders, he would know what to do, and right now Lucie couldn't think of anything to do but _Breathe in, breathe out._

"Damien." Lucie landed in the seat next to Damien. Damien had a mouthful of mac&cheese, so he held up a finger, chewing nonchalantly, and swallowed.

"What's wrong?" he asked, leaning in a little closer when he noticed her state of obvious distress.

"It's Alice. I think she's…" Lucie looked around. They were alone at the table and Alice was nowhere in sight. "I _know _she's anor-anorexic."

Damien coughed. "What?" He paused to think for a second and then said, "No way, that's ridiculous."

"Come on, Damien,_ think__ about it_. It makes sense. Have you actually seen her eat anything in the past like…few weeks?"

Damien blinked. "Oh! There was an apple once!"

"Did you _watch _her eat it?"

Damien thought about it. "No," as if admitting to some big crime.

"So what are we going to do?"

"But wait!" Damien held up a hand and said, "How do you know for sure?"

"She practically told me. She's so mad at me it's not even funny.

"Um…" Damien looked around frantically, as if searching for a solution. "I…"

Lucie ran her hands through her hair, stressed, not hungry anymore. She _had_ been looking forward to lunch, like she always did, because Luke and Alice and Damien and her brother and Dane were there and it was kind of an interesting group but it worked. And it was fun. But now…

"She's coming," Damien hissed, and Lucie flew up and out of her chair. "Come back," Damien whispered.

"I will, I'm getting my lunch." Lucie strode off, trying to be nonchalant.

Damien sighed and rubbed his temples. So his girlfriend was anorexic.

Great.

This was a great day, just absolutely fantastic.

Alice sat in the seat Lucie had just vacated, a very see-through smile plastered on her face. "Hey, Damien." She leaned in and kissed him on the lips, and it took him a second to reciprocate. She pulled back, eyes angry all of a sudden, and said, "Did you talk to Lucie yet today?"

Damien shook his head quickly. "No, I saw her for a second but she just went to get her lunch." It was times like these that Damien was glad he was a good liar.

"Good, I'm mad at her…" Alice maneuvered herself so that she was sitting on Damien's lap, and Damien let her. He hugged her to him, arms around her stomach.

"Alice," he said carefully, trying to figure out how to broach the subject, "Do you want my mac&cheese? I probably won't finish it."

"Nah, I had a big breakfast."

"Alice…I was here at breakfast."

"You left early."

Damien bit his lip and tangled his hands through her hair. He played with it for a little while until Alex plopped down next to him. "Heya, guys!" he exclaimed, picking up a forkful of mac&cheese and shoving it into his mouth in the most awkward way he possibly could.

Damien moved to send Alice the message to get off him, which she received and did so. She stood up and sat in her own chair.

"You gonna eat, Frodette?"

Alice glared and Damien had to work very, _very _hard not to laugh.

He had to remind himself that this was _not _the time for laughter.

"Please, someone," Dane arrived talking loudly and sat in the seat on the other side of Alex, "kill my geography teacher. _Please_."

Alex looked at him softly and said, "I thought she was getting better."

"I wish she'd fall down a staircase and _never _get better." Dane dug into his mac&cheese.

"Well that's disturbing." Alex's gaze lingered on Dane for a little bit too long, and then he turned toward everyone else. "Anyway. Hungry Lioness over here isn't going to eat the _delicious_," Alex rolled his eyes, "mac&cheese that the nice lunch ladies have so graciously prepared for her."

Damien was watching Alice carefully, as she glanced down at her stomach far too many times for a normal person, and he wondered what he should do.

Tell the counselor?

Tell the nurse?

Confront her about it?

Tell her parents?

"Hi." Lucie slid in next to Dane shyly and brushed a piece of hair behind her ear.

Alice glared at her.

Then Luke arrived, and he was completely oblivious to everything, and Lucie appeared to be trying to get him to leave the cafeteria with her so she could tell him about the Alice thing because she needed _someone _to talk to other than Damien, but he wasn't getting the message. Finally Lucie gave up, looked at Damien, who shrugged, and returned to her meal.

* * *

><p>"So I was thinking it should be more of a <em>map <em>than just a diagram, because you know how freaking specific she can get…" Dane rolled his eyes and dodged a group of chattering girls who all shot him flirty glances in unison. "And I mean, we can just use the internet for that. Print out a map of-"

And suddenly Dane was grabbed from behind and pulled into a janitor's closet and the door was closed.

Damien stood there for a second, bewildered, trying to figure out if he should be concerned, but since Dane wasn't screaming or putting up a fight at all, he just shrugged and walked on.

"It's dark in here," Dane whispered.

"I know." Alex fumbled around to find the light switch.

"You were waiting here _how long _and you never turned on the light?" Dane raised an eyebrow just as the light came on.

"Shut up." Alex held up a cupcake. "This is for you."

Dane blinked at it and then took it. It was half blue frosting and half green.

"Somebody made cupcakes that had the Bennett family tree on them for English," Alex explained. "I saved mine for you."

"Why?" The bell rang and Dane looked around apprehensively.

"It's okay, just be late for class, say you were in the bathroom." Alex bit his lip. "I missed you."

Dane smiled and slid down the wall so he was in a sitting position. Alex did the same. "I missed you too," Dane said softly.

He unpeeled the wrapping on the cupcake and tossed it at Alex, then shoved the cupcake into his mouth all at once.

Alex wrinkled his nose. "You're going to choke!"

"Ooh mmph ee aimphec."

"Oh, right, of course, now it makes sense," Alex deadpanned.

Dane kicked him, which was hard to do because their legs were resting right up next to each other, each having their feet rested on the opposite wall.

Dane chewed and swallowed, and then said, "You know the Heimlich."

Alex smiled. "That I do. You trust me to actually be able to do the Heimlich in a closet, though? That's quite the undying trust."

Dane just laughed. "Thanks for saving me from geography, my knight in shining armor."

"Any time, my prince."

* * *

><p>Luke opened the stage door to the auditorium and peaked out behind one of the curtains in the wings. Alex had said that whoever Lucie liked was going to meet her in the auditorium today, and he couldn't help but wonder who the lucky guy could possibly be. He prayed that he wasn't some teenage Adonis who was on the football team. He could never compete with that.<p>

He clutched his notebook to his chest self-consciously when he heard the auditorium door open. He craned his neck out from the curtain to get a better look, before ducking back out of view.

It was Lucie. He decided that was worth another look, so he poked his head out of the curtain again hesitantly. She walked up the side of the stage that he was on, and swayed around a bit to invisible music. He blushed, feeling a bit like a stalker, and duck back into the wings and out of site. She would never know he was there. He began to walk back to the stage door when he tripped over a rope and fell face first onto the hardwood floor.

_Shit._

"Who's there?" He heard her voice coming toward him. He scrambled to get to the door before she could see him. "Luke?"

_Double shit. _

"Uh Lucie?" He turned around on his heels, and scratched his head in mock confusion, "What are you doing here? I was just getting ready for when the kids from play practice come in tonight. Dress rehearsal and all that."

She nodded, a small smirk on her face.

"You mean the play that happened last weekend?"

Luke's face turned bright red.

"Okay, you caught me." He threw his hands up in the air, taking a step closer to Lucie, "I hang out here sometimes when I'm bored." That was a lame excuse, he knew it, and so did Lucie.

She giggled, the sound reaching Luke's ears like a siren's call.

"So, why did you really come here?" she asked meekly, eyeing Luke.

He opened his mouth to respond, but realized that he had no good excuse to use. He couldn't tell Lucie that he had been waiting to spy on her and whoever she liked. Then he really would have no chance with her.

"I, well, it's a funny story really," He cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his head. "I was waiting for someone."

Lucie looked confused for a moment.

"I was too...Alex told me that Dane wanted to meet here after school to practice a new dance for Regionals."

Luke's face fell. Of course. So it _was _Dane who she liked after all.

"Oh."

"Oh?" Lucie looked up from where her vision was trained on the floor and raised an eyebrow.

"So you and Dane, huh?" He asked as nonchalantly as he possibly could, leaning up against the prop table.

"We always come in here after school to plan things for Regionals." She shrugged. "No big deal. We've always done it."

Luke tried to hide the fact that his heart felt like it was being stretched to its limit and smiled halfheartedly.

"Well that's great! I'm happy for you two." He looked toward the door, planning his escape so that he could go kill Alex, "I should go, I wouldn't want to interrupt anything." He turned toward the door and reached for the knob before he heard Lucie's voice.

"Wait," she moved toward the door and put a hand on Luke's forearm. When he looked up, she pulled her hand away and blushed. "What are you talking about? Me and Dane?"

"You fancy each other."

"What?" Lucie's blush worsened, "No. NO." She laughed, covering her mouth with her hand in an attempt to stop herself."What would make you think that?"

Luke didn't know whether to be excited that Lucie and Dane were, in fact, not interested in each other, or embarrassed for spying on her earlier.

"I, just," he struggled to find the words, "You two seemed like you were spending a lot of time together."

Lucie continued to laugh, finding it impossible to get over the humor of the situation. She would _have _to tell Alex about this.

"We were just practicing for the Warblers. That's all," she explained, "Plus, Dane likes someone else. I know that for a fact."

Luke looked relieved, and then amused.

"You and your brother are a lot alike, you know."

"What do you mean?"

"He said the same thing when-" Oh no. Luke slapped himself mentally. Now Lucie would know that he had been asking about her.

"When were you talking to my brother about me and Dane?"

Luke ran his hand through his hair and bit his lip.

"It's not what it sounds like," he began, reaching his hands out cautiously, "He mentioned that you and Dane were practicing together and I asked if you two were dating. He told me that Dane fancied someone else, and so did you."

"Then why would you think that we were dating?" She would have to ask Alex about all of this later.

"He said that you were going to meet the guy you fancied in the auditorium..." Luke cringed. Now she knew what a creep he was. "I was just curious...I'm sorry," he looked down at his shoes, "You must think I'm a stalker or something now, right?"

Lucie tried not to display the shock on her face.

"I don't know why Alex would say that." She was just as confused as Luke appeared. "He told me to meet Dane here after school and-" The realization hit, slowly. "Oh."

"Oh? Could you clue me in because I'm completely lost here," Luke admitted, laughing awkwardly.

"Alex set this up." She sighed, running a hand through her hair nervously.

"What does that mean? He said you were meeting the guy you-" He cut himself off, eyes widening. "Lucie, am I crazy, or do you-"

"No. I mean. Maybe." She wouldn't look at him. She didn't know if she could face the embarrassment.

"Oh." Luke tried not to get overly excited. She hadn't confirmed anything yet. "Maybe?"

Lucie bit her lip.

"Maybe."

Luke smiled, catching Lucie's eye.

"Well," he began, "Would you maybe like to go to Breadstix with me tomorrow?" He grinned, "I-I mean like a date."

"I-" Lucie looked up to make sure she had heard him correctly. When she saw him smiling, she felt her heart do a little dance. "Yes. I would love to."


	12. Chapter 12: Secrets

**AN: Thank you so much to everyone for reading and giving us helpful feedback! It really means the world to us! Helen wrote the restaurant scenes, and the Dalex scene towards the end. I wrote the scene with Alex, Dane and Lucie on the stage, the Dane song and the Damien/Alex scene at the fair. **

**Also, IMPORTANT: If anyone has felt offended by something in 'For Good' please let us know what you found offensive. There was this one anon on our forgoodfic tumblr page that voiced a concern, and while they might have been trolling, it's still very important to us that people can relate to our fic on a personal level. **

**Chapter 12: Secrets**

Luke held the door open for Lucie, who smiled to herself as she walked through. The hostess looked at her expectantly, and Luke stepped forward and said, "Two, please." Lucie shot him a look, like _I am perfectly capable of telling her myself, thankyouverymuch._

The hostess nodded and picked up two menus. She led them through Breadstix to a booth next to the window.

"This is nice," Lucie said as she slid into the booth.

Luke, after a moment of hesitation (should he sit next to her or across from her? …across, definitely across.), slid in across from her.

"Yes," he agreed. "Quite nice."

She giggled.

"What?" he asked.

"I just love when you say British things like…" She trailed off, having seen a familiar head of hair three rows behind Luke.

Crap. Alex. And then of course the boy he was with was…

"Um…" She bit her lip. "Like quite…" She tried to remember what she had been saying.

But wait – what if Luke saw Alex and Dane? Because the way they were sitting there and looking at each other was definitely _not_ 'just friendly' and the last time Lucie checked, boys who were just friends did _not_ go out to eat together, just the two of them.

"Lucie? Are you okay?" Luke asked, waving a hand in her path of sight.

"Oh. Yeah, totally. Um, I have to go to the bathroom. If you uh…the waitress. If the waitress comes by then could you um, tell her I want a water? To drink?"

Luke nodded, looking miffed.

Lucie stood up, banging her knees on the underside of the table. "I'll be right back, promise."

Luke watched her go, sighing. What had he done wrong?

"What is _wrong_ with you?" Lucie hissed, standing next to Dane and Alex's table, arms crossed over her chest.

The two boys looked up at her, fake innocent expressions on their faces. "Whatever are you talking about, sister dearest?" Alex asked, blinking, eyes wide.

Lucie glared. "You do know that two guys who are just friends – even 'best friends,'" finger quotes, "like yourselves – don't just go out to eat together like this. Right?"

Dane and Alex looked at each other and then back up at her. "Um, so why are _you_ mad at us?"

Lucie just glared some more. "Because _I'm_ actually on a date with Luke. And I don't want to worry about _you two-_" She stopped talking when she realized that neither of them was listening.

They were doing that weird 'duuuuude' fistbump thing that they did.

Lucie rolled her eyes. "Grow up."

"What? We're just happy you guys are actually making forward progress," Dane said, holding up his hands in defense.

"Shut up. This is about you, not me."

Dane and Alex rolled their eyes in sync. "Don't worry about us, Lucie," Alex said. "It's you that you have to worry about. You don't want to screw up your first date."

Lucie gave him one more glare, then turned on her heel and stormed back to her table.

"Sorry about that, did the waitress come around?" she asked as she sat down.

"Not yet." Luke shook his head. "That was fast."

"What was fast?"

"You went to the loo very fast."

"Oh. Yeah. There was no line."

"That's good."

A silence fell.

"So, er, did you go back to the hospital yet?" Luke asked, folding and unfolding his napkin.

"Yeah, I did, the other day. I missed it so much, you know? Isn't it just…great? Working there?" Lucie was looking over Luke's shoulder, watching as Dane and Alex continued talking in blissful ignorance of the fact that they were so _obviously_ on a date. Lucie wondered why she cared so much.

"No," Luke said in response to her question. "It was nice, but I didn't quite like it. Just not my thing. Sorry."

"Oh! Uh, don't be sorry! No, I mean…I know lots of people don't…" Lucie forced herself to look back at Luke's face and concentrate on the conversation. "It doesn't really agree with a lot of people, sorry for making assumptions." She picked up her fork and put it back down again. "So what do _you_ like to do?"

"Oh, I just write stuff, like…"

Luke kept talking but Lucie was watching disbelievingly as Dane rubbed a piece of ketchup off of Alex's lip with his finger.

This was going to be a very long date.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Dane was telling a very, very long and drawn out story that he appeared to be making up on the spot about two turtles and their long journey to Antarctica, only to find out that Antarctica was too cold for turtles.<p>

"So they froze slowly to death, never to see their tropical native waters again." He stuffed a piece of steak into his mouth. "The end."

Alex stared for a moment, not really sure how to react. "Um… Well, that really was… Interesting."

"That's what Damien usually says," Dane said, taking a drink of water.

"I mean, it was really great! But very tragic."

"Yeah. Well. Tragedy is my specialty." Dane made a face and ate another piece of steak.

"Could you steal the ketchup from that table," Alex motioned to the table across the way, "because our bottle is out."

Dane looked around surreptitiously and then reached across the aisle. As he did, the sleeve of his sweatshirt came up and his forearm was exposed.

Alex saw a scar running up the inside of his arm, faded enough that he had never noticed it before, but definitely there.

"Here you go, monsieur," Dane said, handing over the stolen ketchup with a flourish.

"Thanks," Alex said, taking it and opening it distractedly. "What did you do to your arm? Did you fall off your bike or something?" he joked.

Dane hastily pulled at his sleeve so it covered his arm. "No." He wouldn't look in Alex's eyes. "Pass the salt?"

Alex eyed him suspiciously, giving him the salt, looking at Dane's sleeve as if he could see through the fabric. "You know falling off your bike isn't _that_ embarrassing, and I wouldn't tease you about it for _that_ long." He was being nosy and he knew it, but something about Dane's reaction made him nervous.

"I said I didn't fall off my bike, drop it already, would you?" Now Dane looked at him and his eyes flashed.

"Um, okay, whatever you want…" Alex picked up his hamburger and pretended to be very interested in it. "So tell me another story."

* * *

><p>"Shit."<p>

Dane paced the floor of the outdoor stage, shaking his limbs, trying to rid himself of the nervous adrenaline rushing through his veins. It was only five minutes until he would have to walk up on that stage and sing: solo.

"Hey, dude."

He whipped around to meet the flash of a camera that he had become accustomed to over the last few months. He took in a sharp breath, trying to regain his composure so that he could carry on a semi-normal conversation without jumping around like he was going to pee his pants.

"Anders!" He grinned, letting the term of endearment slip off of his tongue naturally. They stood there for half a second, just looking at each other, grinning like idiots. Sometimes it was still hard to believe that either of them were in the same school, and all either of them wanted to do was to memorize every line of the other's face, every breath in and out, before it would all vanish into thin air.

"Nervous?" Alex asked, raising an eyebrow as Dane rubbed his sweaty palms against the dark fabric of his denim. His eyes stopped for half a second too long on the scar that had been spinning around in his mind for the whole night and into the day. What could Dane possibly be hiding? And why wouldn't he tell Alex about it?

Dane followed the line of his boyfriend's vision and pulled his hand back to run through his hair. Ever since Alex had asked him about it the previous night, he had worried about him finding out what had really caused the scar, about his dark past that was too pathetic for even Dane himself to think about.

"Me? Nervous? Ha!" He flung his head back dramatically, flashing a toothy grin at Alex, who already had his eyes turned skyward. "Dane Siegerson doesn't get nervous."

"Right," Alex said, drawing the word out so that it made a clean cut off noise when he finally hit the 't.' "I'm sure that's why your palms look like they've spent too long in a sauna."

Dane crossed his arms over his chest, smirking.

"Alright Sherlock, you caught me." He took in a breath. "I'm nervous."

And for a moment, all Alex could do was stare, forgetting all about the scar, because Dane's voice was suddenly so vulnerable that it made his heart to a little jump. He regained his composure enough to think of something biting to say.

"You? Dane Seigerson? Nervous?"

"I know, shocking, isn't it?" Dane looked down at his phone to check the time. "Shit. I have to go." He paused for a moment before leaving, looking at Alex helplessly. It was always like that with goodbyes, especially in public. He wanted to be able to tell him goodbye like a normal boyfriend, to peck him on the lips and tell him he loved him.

He was snapped out of his train of thought by the sound of the camera going off yet again. Alex lowered the object and reached for the lens cap from his jeans pocket. He slung the camera strap so that the actual camera disappeared behind his back.

"Go," Alex said, ushering Dane toward the stage. "Don't want you being late and messing up the whole program on my account. I'll be waiting in the audience, okay?" He nodded, watching Alex walk away with a sad sort of half-smile, inwardly cursing himself. It was Valentine's Day and he couldn't even acknowledge that due to the fact that his stupid secret was still looming over him like a storm cloud blocking out the sunlight.

He glanced down at the scar on his arm, closing his eyes in agitation. He couldn't even stand to look at it. It was a constant reminder, a reminder of the liar that he was. He was always keeping secrets from everyone, and now, he was even hiding secrets from the one person that he could ever be himself around.

But he didn't want to think about that today. Today he would try to be normal, well, as normal as he could possibly be. It was Valentine's Day, after all, shouldn't he be able to celebrate it like every other teen guy on the planet? He owed that to himself, and he owed that to Alex.

"Hey." He heard a small, hesitant voice next to him, and recognized it instantly.

"Hey Lucie." He grinned, pushing all his previous thoughts to the back of his mind.

"You ready for this?" She asked, looking up at him with big, brown, knowing eyes.

"Ready as I'll ever be," he admitted, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet out of nervous habit.

Lucie nodded understandingly and strummed the strings of her guitar to make sure everything was still in tune from the last time she had checked five minutes ago.

"Well," she began after a beat, "I don't think you really need to worry. I'm sure Alex will love whatever you sing." She giggled, the sound like a little bell. Dane couldn't help but smile, even though he was slightly annoyed that she was bringing up Alex so carelessly in the wings where everyone could hear.

"I really hope so. We worked our asses off on this." It was true, they had been practicing for weeks. Dane was still grateful that Lucie agreed to play guitar for him, especially when it was for her brother. Lucie opened her mouth to respond, but was cut off by Harvey announcing that it was time to start the performances. She grabbed Dane's wrist, giving it a reassuring squeeze and catching his eye as though to say 'break a leg,' before they both climbed the three stairs up to the wooden platform that served as a stage.

* * *

><p>Alex sat down in the middle of the line of chairs that had been set up in the school's courtyard especially for the fair. There were people everywhere, and he couldn't help but feel a bit claustrophobic in the crowd. He couldn't stop thinking about Dane and his stupid scar. He would have to find Damien and ask him about it after the performance, otherwise he knew that he would end up driving himself insane before the fair was over. He looked around for anyone that looked familiar and noticed Maddie making her way through the sea of people, Ryan following behind.<p>

Maddie noticed Alex sitting alone and walked over, slapping herself down in a very unladylike fashion next to him, while Ryan sat down in his seat carefully, as though he thought he was going to break it.

"I hope you weren't saving these seats, because, if you were, you're going to have to tell them that they're taken." She laughed, a rather distinct and loud laugh that made Alex grin.

"What she means is," Ryan shot Maddie a look, sounding rather like a parent scolding a child, "Are these seats taken?"

"Oh yeah. They're all filled up," Alex joked, and for a minute Ryan looked alarmed before he added, "-by my imaginary friends, Ben and Jerry. I'm sure they'll be heartbroken when they come back." He wiped a fake tear from his eyes, and then flashed them both a Cheshire grin. "I guess you guys can sit here though."

"Well, look who's being all creative today," Maddie commented, stepping back as though admiring a piece of art and looking through her electric blue flip camera. She nudged Ryan in the gut and he jumped, "I bet it's because he's been bitten by the love bug."

Alex blushed despite himself and fiddled with his camera in his lap.

"Actually, I'm just in a constant state of cleverness, I'll have you know."

Neither of them bought the act, and they turned to each other, both raising an eyebrow and looking back at their new friend.

"Bullshit!" laughed Maddie, punching Alex in the arm playfully. "We may not have known you for very long, but that was such an obvious cop out that it's a little offensive that you'd actually think we'd buy that." She paused, studying Alex's expression carefully. "So who's the lucky chick? Does she go here?" She scanned the crowd, shielding her eyes from the sun, as though looking for the mystery girl.

What was he supposed to say? Alex didn't know whether to laugh because they thought he liked a girl, or to worry that they would actually figure out his secret. He wasn't worried about them finding out that he was gay, it wasn't a secret, but he was worried that if they did know he was gay, that they would draw the immediate line from him to Dane. He couldn't let that happen. His mind was still swirling with a million possibilities as the loud speaker screeched on, saving him from having to make the decision.

Maddie crossed her arms over her chest and flashed him a look as though to say, 'We'll talk about this later, mister,' and he decided to ignore her for the time being and fix all his attentions to the stage where Dane would be performing. He would not think about this whole thing with the scar. He wouldn't. He would wait till after the performance to start worrying again. Damien had to know something, and he was going to get to the bottom of this situation if it meant using all of the tricks up his sleeve.

Lucie began strumming on her guitar, completely concentrated, wearing a small smile as the familiar tune began. She flashed Dane one last look of encouragement before he took the mic from the stand and started to sing.

_'You're a falling star_

_You're the getaway car_

_You're the line in the sand when I go too far_

_You're the swimming pool on an August day_

_And you're the perfect thing to say'_

Dane smiled to himself, a small secret smile that he couldn't help because the lyrics were so completely true that he felt empowered. He scanned the crowd to find Alex, who was blushing despite the fact that he had on a nearly perfect poker face.

_'And you play it coy_

_But it's kind of cute_

_Oh when you smile at me you know exactly what you do_

_Baby don't pretend that you don't know it's true_

_'Cause you can see it when I look at you'_

Their eyes met for half a second, but it was enough for Alex to break his facade and let the smile that he had been fighting to keep concealed light up his features. He had to bite his lip to keep from laughing like a lovesick idiot. Watching Dane up there, singing to_him_made his head spin, completely forgetting his earlier woes in the moment.

_'And in this crazy life_

_And through these crazy times_

_It's you, It's you_

_You make me sing_

_You're every line_

_You're every word_

_You're everything'_

Dane looked back to Lucie, who was watching the scene before her unfold with amusement. She scanned the crowd of clueless students and teachers before resting her gaze on Damien, who was wearing a similar look to her own. She caught his eyes and he winked at her, laughing and shaking his head.

_'And I can't believe that I'm your man_

_And I get to kiss you baby just because I can_

_Whatever comes our way, oh, we'll see it through._

_And you know that's what our love can do'_

Dane couldn't help the way his heart clenched when he sang the last few lines of that particular verse. He couldn't just kiss Alex whenever he wanted to; things were never that simple for them. But maybe, just maybe, they would be able to, some day. He flashed a half smile in Alex's direction, hoping, praying, that he would understand.

_'And in this crazy life._

_And through these crazy times_

_It's you, it's you_

_You make me sing_

_You're ever line_

_You're ever word_

_You're everthing'_

Dane didn't care about the other people anymore, he had his vision trained on Alex as the song came to its close. Maddie shifted her eyes from the Dane, to Alex, and back to Dane, putting the puzzle pieces together in her head. Her eyes widened, swallowing a lump in her throat, and refusing the urge to squeal at her realization. She tore her gaze from the Alex to look at Ryan, who was looking bored with his notebook open to a new page, sketching the outline of a head lazily. She decided not to bother him. If Alex didn't want them to know, there was probably a reason for it, and as hard as it would be, she would have to keep her mouth shut.

_'So la la la la la la la_

_So la la la la la la la...'_

* * *

><p>The second after the performance had ended, Alex made a beeline for where he saw Damien standing with his arm slung carelessly around Alice's slender shoulders. He felt bad about abandoning Dane, but he needed to find out what the story behind those scars on Dane's arm were, and he knew that whatever it was, Damien would have all the answers that he would need.<p>

"We need to talk," Alex said, ignoring the icy glare he received from Alice. Damien raised an eyebrow in confusion, and Alex explained, "It's important."

"Can't you go get advice from Dane?" Alice asked, rolling her eyes. "You've been following him around like a lost puppy for the last month."

Alex scoffed.

"Well, you would know all about how dogs behave, now wouldn't you?"

Alice's face when from its usual cream color to a sickly red, pressing herself closer into Damien's side than she already was. Damien cleared his throat, covering up the small smile of amusement that had covered his features, looking between his girlfriend, and Alex.

"Alright you two, that's enough." He stepped in between the two to make sure that one of them wasn't going to tear the other's head off. "She's right, can't you just go talk to Dane about whatever it is?" He looked at Alex with a flash of something in his eye that went unnoticed to Alice, an invisible question, 'Is everything alright between you two?' Alex caught the gesture and looked pointedly back, as though to say, 'Give me a chance to explain.'

Damien understood, and looked back to Alice apologetically.

"Sorry Alice, this will only take a minute, I promise, okay?" She nodded, pecking Damien chastely on the lips and flashing a death glare at Alex, who rolled his eyes. They waited until Alice was out of earshot before talking. "So?" Damien asked wearily. "What happened? You two seemed fine a minute ago." He ran a hand through his hair out of nervous habit.

"We're fine. That's not why I wanted to talk to you." Alex shifted on the balls of his feet, still mulling over in his head how, exactly, he was going to approach this subject. "I know about the stitches." It was a lie, but he knew that Damien would never tell one of Dane's secrets without his permission, and Alex needed to know. What was one little white lie anyway?

Damien nearly choked on the air, eyes popping out of his head like an office toy.

"What?" he sputtered. "He told you about that?"

"Why wouldn't he tell me about that?" Alex asked, feigning offended. "I needed to know."

"I know, I know you did. I just never thought-" he cut himself off, shaking his head. It didn't matter what Damien had thought, it only mattered that Dane had actually taken the initiative to tell Alex one of his deepest, darkest secrets. He was proud of Dane. Maybe this meant that he had put the past behind him for good. "You saved his life, you know."

Alex bit his lip, trying to hide his expression of shock.

"I did?"

"You did so much more for Dane than I ever could," Damien admitted, smiling sadly at Alex, "If it weren't for you, Dane might not even be here right now." Damien closed his eyes, shaking his head. He hated being reminded of how much he had failed his best friend. Sometimes he could still hear the shatter of the knife breaking the glass; he could see his best friend lying there unconscious in a pool of blood.

"Damien?" He was shaken out of his memories by Alex, who was studying him with wide, worried eyes. "Are you okay?"

"I just-" his voice broke, "I don't like to think about it."

"I wouldn't either," commented Alex, trying to keep his tone neutral enough to sound like he knew what he was talking about. "What did you do when you got to the hospital?"

Damien heaved a huge sigh; his face was still devoid of all its color.

"I told them that he tripped and broke the mirror, and fainted at the sight of his own blood." They both grimaced, Alex left horrified at the thought of his boyfriend bleeding to death. What had actually happened? Had Dane tried to-

"That was the first time he had tried it. I should have stopped him after that but I-"

"It's not your fault." Alex cut him off, suddenly feeling extremely guilty for lying. "You were scared."

"I know," Damien said, "But I should have told his dad when I had the chance." He kicked up some dirt from the ground, watching it fly through the air. "But now he has you. You're so good for him, Alex." He turned to look at Alex meaningfully. "Thanks."

Now Alex _really _felt awful about going behind Dane's back. Dane was suicidal, and here he was giving him something else to worry about.

"Anytime." His voice cracked, but he didn't care. All he really felt was a mix between guilt, and then anger. Why would Dane keep something like this from him?

"Okay, well, um," Damien scratched the back of his head self-consciously. "Is that all you wanted to talk about?" The way he said it signified that he hoped there wasn't anything else to talk about. Alex shook his head in the affirmative, and relief washed over Damien's features

"I'm going to get back to Alice then before she kills me." They both laughed and then an awkward silence ensued. "I'll talk to you later, Alex." Damien waved, walking toward the fountain in the center of the courtyard.

Alex felt as though a huge cinder block had just been dropped on his head, and then he had been told to run a mile in a hurricane. Because now he knew Dane hadn't just fell off a bike, unless falling off a bike was code for trying to kill yourself.

Why the hell would Dane keep something as huge as this from him? Didn't they promise to tell each other everything? The more that Alex thought about it, the more the guilt washed away so that he didn't even remember why he had been guilty in the first place.

* * *

><p>"Uh, Dane, could we talk alone? For just a bit?" Alex looked at his boyfriend, jaw set. He wouldn't get angry, not here, not now, not ever.<p>

Dane sighed, apprehensive, but what choice did he have? He couldn't just tell his boyfriend no, that he didn't want to talk to him alone.

No, that wouldn't work.

"Yeah, sure." They moved out of the crowded area of the fair and stood behind a booth. The sun was trying to shine through the clouds but it couldn't quite manage the feat.

"Um, I talked to Damien just now," Alex said, and he saw Dane's right hand immediately move to his left arm. He rubbed it, just rubbed, like you would rub a dog to comfort it.

"You did?" Dane asked, knowing what was coming, making a mental note to murder Damien later.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Alex asked loudly, too loudly, he knew that, he knew that he should quiet down and stay calm. That was what he'd told himself, he'd stay calm, but Dane _hadn't told him._ He hadn't even hinted at this and while Alex felt bad and he just wanted to give Dane a big hug and never let go and say that everything was alright…he would do it later. Right now he was just upset that Dane hadn't told him and it hadn't even had time to sink in that _his boyfriend had almost killed himself._ "I thought we were close enough for that! I thought we told each other _everything_, but you lied to me! You didn't tell me _this_ and it's really important and I just…" He trailed off as Dane's eyes closed, not in annoyance but in pain.

There was a silence that cut through the air like a knife, in slow motion, taking its sweet time.

"Say something," Alex whispered. "Please. Say something and tell me…it isn't true." This was what he wanted more than anything: for it not to be true.

"It's true," Dane whispered back, eyes still closed, kind of rocking back and forth on his heels and then the balls of his feet.

"Then why the hell didn't you tell me?" Alex demanded. "If you thought I wouldn't care, you were wrong. If you thought I'd be mad, you were _really_ wrong. If you thought…" He trailed off again, having run out of things to say and the anger to say them with. "Tell me," he said, his voice holding nothing, no anger and no comfort. It was just empty, only words. "Why didn't you say anything?"

There was another silence and Alex was about to open his mouth to say something more (he didn't know what, he figured inspiration would just strike once he opened his mouth) when Dane looked up at him with the absolute _worst_ expression Alex had ever seen.

"I didn't say anything because I didn't want you to know what a screw-up I actually am," he said slowly in a voice that was almost imperceptible, yet Alex heard every word loud and clear.

Alex opened his mouth again but no inspiration struck. He waited, mouth open, but nothing came. He just stood there like an idiot, struck dumb, no idea what to say.

"See?" Dane said miserably. "You can't even think of anything nice to say to me, you probably feel _bad_ for me or something, like you would feel bad for roadkill."

Alex looked at him with a confused expression on his face, eyebrows knit. "No. I'm disgusted with roadkill. I look at roadkill and I think Ugh. People in this world are just sick. But I look at you, and I just think…I think like…" He looked down at his feet and up at the bare branches of the tree above him. "I think how much I love you anyway, and how I don't understand why you would try to," his tongue tripped, "ki-ill yourself. And how you're the most perfect person I've ever met, and I'm glad that you _didn't_ kill yourself, and…"

Dane was turning away.

"Hey." Alex grabbed Dane's shoulder. "I'm talking to you."

"Well I'm done listening," Dane said without emotion because he'd cut himself off from emotion at the beginning of the conversation.

"No, you actually aren't, you'll be done listening when I'm done talking," Alex said firmly, and Dane stood still, angled away from Alex but he was there.

He was definitely there.

"_Anyway_," Alex continued, watching Dane carefully, "I don't feel bad for you – well maybe a bit but of course I feel bad for you, you can't see yourself like I see you, and that sucks, dude." He cracked a smile that was ignored by Dane. "And I know that in a few minutes it'll hit me and I'll realize – my boyfriend almost killed himself. And _that_ will suck, too. And I'll probably like, I don't know, handcuff you to me so you can never try it again or anything. And I might cry and _that_ will _really_ suck because I hate stereotypes and I don't want to conform or be what people expect me to be – AKA emotional gay dude. And now I'm making it about me… Please just stop me from talking?"

Dane was looking at the people all bustling around the fair. He watched as a group of girls passed by, and one of them looked at him and winked, waving a hand through the air, fingers waggling. Dane just blinked at her.

"Daners?" Alex asked, stepping closer.

Dane turned to him, expression unreadable. "I don't want to be a stereotype either," he said quietly in a voice that seemed like it was supposed to make light of the situation but really didn't. "But I think I'm going to cry now."

Alex bit his lip and nodded. "Okay." He wrapped Dane in a hug and whispered in the shorter boy's ear, "Just cry. It's okay."

"She waved at me," Dane said into Alex's shoulder.

"I know," even though Alex had no idea what Dane was talking about.

"I was doing so good," Dane told Alex's shoulder, "and then she waved at me."

"I know," Alex repeated, still having no idea what Dane was talking about.

A few moments passed and Dane got Alex's sweatshirt wet.

"It doesn't matter," Alex said quietly. "You know that, right? It doesn't matter at all. Nothing has changed, between us."

Dane nodded and Alex patted him on the back.

"I love you, dude," he said quietly, burying his face in Dane's hair.

Dane nodded again. "I love you too," he said quietly, voice muffled by Alex's shoulder, but Alex heard the words and he felt them too.


	13. Chapter 13: Break

**Hello! Sorry this has taken so long to get out, but with school starting tomorrow for us, we've been busy finishing up our summer assignments, blah blah blah. So anyway, here it is!**

**Caitlin wrote the first part with the ice cream, and the bowling part, and the Damien and Alice part. Helen wrote the last part with Dalex and the song part. :)**

**The song is Sky by Joshua Radin.**

**Enjoy, and as always, please drop a review so we know what you're thinking of our story!**

Alex's tongue caressed the tip of the soft vanilla ice cream, swirling his tongue around the length of the melting substance.

"Mmmmm," Alex moaned, licking the white product off his lips languidly, making sure that not a trace of stickiness from the ice cream was left on his face. He was completely unaware that his boyfriend was literally losing brain cells by the moment watching Alex's mouth bob over his sugar treat.

"A-Are you almost done with that?" Dane all but whimpered, biting down so hard on his lip that he thought he would break the skin. Alex's little innocent snack had started to churn thoughts in Dane's mind that were certainly not PG rated, or even PG-13 for that matter. Dane was sure that if he were in a Japanese anime, his nose would be bleeding all over the floor.

Alex flicked his tongue over the cone, taking a bit of the white substance with him and swallowing loudly. He mumbled something unintelligibly, that came out more like the sound of a blender than of an actual sentence.

"Maybe," he shrugged. Why was Dane looking at him like that? "Are you hungry? Do you want some?"

"No!" Dane nearly slapped the ice cream cone out of Alex's hand as though it was an animal about to pounce any second. "No. I'm-" he cleared his throat, pulling at the tie of his blazer. Why was it so damn hot outside? "I'm fine. I just wanted to get back to Stuart soon so I could start on that Murdoch essay."

"Oh." Alex licked around the sides of his ice cream for lack of anything better to do. Did Dane really not want to spend time with him? Did he say something? "Okay. We don't have to keep talking if you don't want to."

"No! Oh God no, Alex. Just-" What was he supposed to say? I just want to shove you on a bed and let you love me down? "You and that damn ice cream! And you're just licking it! I-" Dane cut himself off, suddenly realizing how embarrassing this situation actually was. He readjusted his Dalton tie in an attempt to busy himself so that the blood would miraculously leave his face.

"What are you talking about? I don't-Oh." Alex's eyes widened to a diameter that they hadn't reached since he had walked in on his parents in a very compromising position back when he was five. He instantly dropped his ice cream cone in the trash as though it was a piece of trash, instead of the innocent treat he had been enjoying a second ago.

"Shit, Anders…I'm sorry!" Dane sputtered, "It's just, you're my boyfriend. Of course I'm going to get a little sexually frustrated by you sometimes and-shit. I'm sorry!"

Alex gulped, hoping that Dane wouldn't notice his obvious distress. No one had ever found him attractive before, not in that way. How was he even supposed to respond to that? He frustrated Dane? Did that mean that he wanted to go farther with Alex? Alex hoped not. He knew that he definitely wasn't ready to take _THAT_ step this week, or even this year.

"It's alright! Daners! Calm down!" Alex laughed, trying to cover up his inner struggle. "Just forget it ever happened."

Dane sighed in relief, nudging his boyfriend in the side playfully.

"Thank God! Now come on." He grabbed Alex's forearm giving it a discreet squeeze. "Let's go back to my dorm." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, jokingly, happy that the awkward situation was over.

* * *

><p>"Make sure to actually meet the deadline next time, yeah?" Damien waved his hand, dismissing one of the freshmen on the paper like a king to one of his servants. He hated how irresponsible people were. Damien was only a sophomore himself, but he knew what he was doing, and those who didn't needed to be told to get it together. If he wanted to make it to head journalist by the time he was a junior, there was no room for stupid errors.<p>

At the same time, he felt kind of bad for the freshman. He had tried – but not hard enough. Like Damien's dad said, sometimes you just have to do what it takes if you want to make it to the top.

He closed his laptop carefully, making sure that all the lights had turned off before sliding it into his messenger bag and striding out the door with purpose. As he walked, he worried about Alice. Ever since Lucie had mentioned it to him that one lunch, the thoughts loomed over him like an unwelcome spirit, haunting his every thought.

When Alice's locker came into view, everything seemed to spin in slow motion for a second, and Damien stumbled backward on the balls of his feet. He had no idea how he was going to confront the girl he was in love with about a problem that could threaten her own life, a problem that she didn't feel like she could share with Damien: her own boyfriend.

He gulped, very much aware of the muscles in his throat. He could practically feel the worry lines etched on his forehead as he marched forward, his vision glazed over as though he wasn't actually looking at Alice, but rather a blank canvas.

"Hey." He leaned over mechanically, more out of habit than anything, to brush his lips against Alice's. She smiled, a smile that made Damien's heart clench, not in the usual way, but in the way that it did when he had told a lie. "You all ready?"

"Yeah, hold on." She zipped up her book bag and slung it over her shoulder with the amount of force it should take a 50 year old woman to lift a 50 pound weight, and not a half-filled book bag.

"Do you want me to take that?" Damien asked with concern, eyeing her toothpick legs as though he thought they would give out at any minute.

She shook her head rapidly, swatting his outstretched hand away and taking his other hand in her own.

"I'm fine, Damien. I'm not going to wither away."

"Are you sure about that?" Damien quirked an eyebrow, trying to figure out how to approach the topic without Alice exploding on him like she so often did. "Because you've just seemed so tired lately and I was worried about you."

"Well don't be," Alice snapped. She hated how everyone thought she needed assistance lately. She had her life under control, and she didn't need anyone telling her otherwise.

"Alright Alice, I didn't want to have to say this, but you give me no choice-" Damien's tone was careful, as though he was walking through the glass section of a department store. "Lucie told me about your problem. About your eating dis-"

"Stop." Alice tore her hand from Damien's grasp as though he had set it on fire, looking horrified. "I don't have a problem."

"Yes, yes you do. When was the last time you actually ate something?"

Alice furrowed her brow, as though she was considering purchasing a pair of pants and then decided that they were ugly.

"Shut up. That's not important." She increased her pace, trying to block Damien out, but Damien had a larger stride than her, being six-foot tall. He grabbed her from behind and she collapsed into his arms, unable to find the strength to fight back. She was so tired.

"Let me go, Damien. Now."

"No." He growled, whirling her around to meet him like a father who was scolding one of his children. "No, I won't let you go. You need to get help, Alice. You could die like this!" He hated how his voice sounded, vulnerable, and Damien was not vulnerable. He had it together. He had to, not only for himself, but for Alice. There was no room for vulnerability in his life, especially at a time like this. "We're going to the nurse." He took her hand in his own, pulling her like an uncooperative puppy to its cage.

"No. We aren't." Alice yanked her hand from Damien's, stumbling backward. "Just stop it! Please! Why would you listen to Lucie and not me? I'm your girlfriend! You're supposed to trust me."

Alice's words were like a slap to the face for Damien.

"I can't."

"Well then you can find another girlfriend!" Alice's voice had lost its previous vigor, it was now cold, melting the air like an ice cube sliding over a stove.

"No," Damien shook his head, after staring at her for over a minute. The words processed themselves slow in his head, playing over and over again. "No. Please, Alice. I love you. I just want what's best for you! Please!"

Alice narrowed her eyes, pursing her lips in a style that Miranda Priestly would be proud of.

"I just want what's best for me too." And with that she walked away, leaving Damien to stare in disbelief.

* * *

><p><em>I woke dreaming we had broke<em>_  
><em>_Dreaming you left me for someone new,__  
><em>_And you cried drying those brown eyes__  
><em>_Crying you're sorry, sorry won't do._

Damien's voice was alone in Warbler's Hall. He liked how it sounded in the room made for singing. It made sense, didn't it?

He looked at the piano he was sitting at, wishing he knew how to play it, but he didn't remember. He'd taken lessons for five years. Was he just a failure at _everything_?

_But this is the way I need to wake__  
><em>_I'll wake to you, and you never left me__  
><em>_All that I dreamt had been untrue__  
><em>_Open my eyes I see sky_

Lucie walked down the hall, having stayed for some math help with her teacher. Her coat was thrown over her arm, her backpack on her back and weighing her down with homework. She sighed and hoisted it up, trying to relieve the pressure for a moment. It didn't work. Maybe she could take out a few books…?

She heard a voice, very faint, coming from Warbler's Hall. A voice she'd know anywhere.

_Oh oh oh oh you know  
><em>_The way to keep me on my toes  
><em>_I-I-I-I will be fine  
><em>_Just say you'll stay forever mine  
><em>_Till we fall asleep tonight_

Lucie stepped into the room and saw Damien sitting motionless at the piano, his mouth the only part of him moving. He had a far-off look in his eyes and he looked smaller somehow.

Lucie put down her backpack and set the coat on top of it. She crossed the room noiselessly and slid in next to him on the piano bench. He jumped and his voice faltered but after realizing it was just her he went on, maybe a little more self-conciously.

_Last night we had a great fight  
><em>_I fell asleep in a horrible state  
><em>_Then dreamt you loved my best friend  
><em>_My heart would not mend  
><em>_Seemed it was fate_

Maybe it was weird but Lucie joined in. She sang the girl part because Damien _was_ singing a duet and Lucie _was_ here and it was one of her favorite songs and she knew the words so why not?

_But this is the way I need to wake__  
><em>_I'll wake to you, and you never left me__  
><em>_All that I dreamt had been untrue__  
><em>_Open my eyes I see sky_

Damien's eyes met Lucie's for the first time and they just stared at each other, and in the moment of connection before they looked away, Lucie knew that Damien and Alice had broken up. Lucie felt bad for Damien but…

Somewhere, in a deep and dark place of her heart, Lucie was glad.

_Oh oh oh oh you know__  
><em>_The way to keep me on my toes__  
><em>_I-I-I-I will be fine__  
><em>_Just say you'll stay forever mine__  
><em>_Till we fall asleep tonight_

Their voices blended perfectly together, they both knew the song well, but Damien was singing it for Alice and Lucie was singing it so Damien wouldn't have to sing a duet alone. They did not look at each other again.

_Sometimes I forget to love you like I should__  
><em>_But I'd never leave you__  
><em>_No I never would, I never would_

The song was coming to a close and they started to worry about what they would say when it ended. What was there to be said?

"You and my best friend, who isn't talking to me right now, broke up."

"Your best friend, who isn't talking to you right now, dumped me."

No, that wouldn't work.

_Oh oh oh oh you know__  
><em>_The way to keep me on my toes__  
><em>_I-I-I-I'll be just fine__  
><em>_Just say you'll stay forever mine__  
><em>_Till we fall asleep tonight_

Damien ended the song and Lucie looked at him until he looked at her. When he did, she knew that she didn't have to say anything. She couldn't say anything.

She hugged him instead. It was sweet and the type of hug shared by friends.

And it made Damien feel a little bit better.

So he said, "Do you want to maybe do something tonight? Take our minds off of…you know?"

* * *

><p>"How do you manage to get a strike almost every time?" Lucie asked, looking in disbelief at the scoreboard. They were only on the fifth frame and Damien was already beating her by over twenty points.<p>

"Raw talent," Damien grinned cheekily back at the blonde, who in turn rolled her eyes. "And practice." He admitted, laughing. "My dads used to get pretty competitive about it."

"Julian Larson? Bowling?" Lucie giggled, covering her mouth with her hands. "I'd like to see that."

"So would about 50 paparazzi that used to follow us into the bowling alley." He rolled his eyes at the memory. "They say you get used to it, but you don't really."

Lucie nodded in understanding.

"I live with my own personal paparazzi 24/7, you forget, I don't envy you dealing with 50 cameras flashing in your face when I can hardly deal with one."

Damien shook his head in amusement, leaning against the shelf that was next to their lane.

"Dane doesn't seem to mind. They are best friends." The two shared a secret smile, biting back their laughter like they always did when the word "best friend" and the names "Dane and Alex" were mentioned together. It was nice having someone to talk to that actually could appreciate the joke.

"Dane wouldn't mind if Alex grew a beard and wore a kimono daily." Lucie turned her eyes skyward, as though actually imagining the prospect of Alex in a kimono. She giggled, biting down on her lip. "Or something to that effect."

"I wouldn't mind that either, I might turn into a paparazzi if he did _that._" Damien rolled up the sleeves of his shirt, grinning absentmindedly. He was feeling so much better than he had a few hours before.

"Mhm." Lucie agreed, at a loss for what else to possibly say. She ran a hand along the scoreboard computer, realizing that it was, in fact, her turn to bowl. "Oh." She brought her hand to rest on her forehead as though she had just remembered there was homework to be done on a Sunday night. "It's my turn."

Damien motioned toward the ball dispenser with a gentlemanly half bow, a challenging smirk etched on his features.

"Go right ahead, try not to get too upset if you get it in the gutter," he paused, teasingly, "again."

"Oh be quiet," Lucie pushed him aside, brushing their forearms unintentionally as she passed him. "I haven't gotten _that_many gutter balls."

"Whatever you say." He threw his hands up in defense, before moving toward her to help her with the ball. "Do you want my help?"

She paused for a moment, staring at Damien like he had sprouted five heads.

"Um. I'm fine." She pulled the ball from Damien's hands and held it to her chest. Everything had suddenly become awkward, and Damien's eyes widened, realizing that his tone had turned unintentionally flirtatious.

"Okay." He stepped back, sitting down in the nearest chair and looking down at the ground. The rest of the night passed on in an awkward blur, and when Damien found himself back at his dorm, he only had one thing on his mind: What the hell was he doing?

* * *

><p>Alex was sitting as far from Dane as he could possibly be and still be on the couch. He was squished up against the couch cushion and was pretending to be comfortable as Dane rambled on about what to do in case of a zombie apocalypse.<p>

"Right," Alex would say occasionally, or he'd nod his head, or be like, "Yeah."

He was aware at this point that he'd be totally in trouble if there ever _was_ a zombie apocalypse, because all he could think about was _Does Dane want to have sex with me?_

Because the answer, right now, seemed like it might be yes.

Maybe.

But Alex didn't know. He wanted to ask Dane about it…

But Alex was awkward enough as it is.

And what was he supposed to say, anyway? "Do you want to have sex with me? Because I don't want to have sex with you."

No, he'd wait for Dane to bring it up. If Dane would _ever_ stop talking about zombies for half a second maybe he'd notice that Alex was freaking out.

Alex wasn't _completely _positive that he wanted Dane to call him out on it. Maybe they could just _never_ talk about sex…?

"What's wrong?" Dane asked, interrupting his discussion about water supplies and how he had a secret fear that all the water in the world would slowly be contaminated. "You seem distracted. And you're gonna need this stuff later on. Maybe I'll just write it out and you can reference it when…" He took a good look at his boyfriend and leaned closer. "Hey," he said softly. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Alex visibly shrunk back. "I'm fine." This was what he'd wanted, why couldn't he just respond?

"No, you're not. Shit." Dane raked a hand through his hair and bit his lip. "It's about the ice cream thing, isn't it?"

Alex nodded almost imperceptibly, feeling like a little child.

"Oh Anders." Dane scooted closer and put his hand over Alex's, which was resting on the couch. "I don't want to…I mean, I do. Well, no I don't. I mean, if you don't." He stopped, looked around the room, took a deep breath, and turned back to Alex. "If you don't want to have sex with me, I'm not going to make you. I don't have to ever bring it up again. I'm sorry, I know it makes you uncomfortable, I just couldn't…I couldn't help myself and I'm sorry."

Alex looked at him with big grey eyes. "I'm not ready to have sex," he whispered, very quietly.

Dane nodded. "I know. I know." He said this twice for good measure. "It's okay. I don't care. I love you for you and not your penis."

Alex nodded, eyes still wide and scared.

"Do you trust me?" Dane asked quietly.

Alex nodded again.

"So don't worry. Next time I say something like that, you can slap me across the face. When you're ready, tell me. I won't force you into anything." Dane blinked and his face was sincere and Alex nodded a third time.

"Thanks," he said very quietly.

"I love you," Dane said.

"I love you too."


	14. Chapter 14: Meet the Parents

**Hey, guys! We hope you're still liking this, and you should definitely keep letting us know what you think in the reviews!**

**Caitlin wrote both of the parts with Rane, the Lucie and Alice part, and the performance at the end. Helen wrote the just Dalex part, the Damien and Luke part, and the Dalex/Derek part.**

"Are you sure that you're okay?" Shane shifted his gaze sideways when their black Subaru had made a complete stop in the parking lot of Dalton Academy. "You still don't have to do this if you don't want to."

Reed blinked, swallowing loudly as he examined his surroundings. Nothing much had changed since he had attended Dalton so many years ago, but it brought back so many memories that he had pushed to the back of his mind to never come out again. It wasn't as though he hadn't been to Dalton in the last few years, he had, of course, for Lucie's school functions and that sort of thing, but he had never actually been at the school on this day of all days. This was the first Parent's Night that Reed had been to since he had graduated.

"I'm fine, Shane." He undid the latch on his seat belt and leaned over to kiss the man in the driver's seat on the cheek. "I want to be here, for Alex and Lucie."

"I know you do," said Shane matter-of-factly, lifting himself out of his seat and shutting the car door. "I'm just worried about what being back here on today of all days is going to do to you. I hate being here too, you know. I don't like reliving Hell Night any more than you do." Reed walked around the side of the car to meet his husband, entwining their fingers together.

"I never said that it was going to be easy coming back here. I just think that we owe it to our children to be there for them. I know my mom never came to this stuff..." He trailed off, lost in thought, and Shane nodded understandingly.

"But you wanted her to," Shane finished for him, giving his hand a squeeze. "Just let me know if it's too much and we can leave. I know that Alex and Lucie would understand."

"It's just weird, you know? Being back here." Reed bit his lip, scanning the surroundings. There were parents embracing their kids, kids avoiding their parents, the usual. It was almost like he was 16 all over again, experiencing his own Parent's Night. The thought sent a chill up his spine and he shivered. Shane stopped in his tracks, flashing a concerned look at Reed, who shook his head as though to say, 'I'm fine.'

"Yeah. It is." Shane nodded in agreement, not really sure of what else to say. What could he say? 'Looks like they rebuilt the art building.' That would go over well. He was certain that it was better to pretend that everything was normal. Maybe then Reed wouldn't have to think about it so much. "So, I really want to meet this Dane kid." Shane smirked, leaning into Reed's side suggestively. "This could be fun, you know. I've always wanted to give the dad talk."

"Shane," Reed rolled his eyes, "Don't scare the poor boy away."

"I make no promises." And with that, the two made their way into the main campus of Dalton Academy, both wary of what the night would entail.

* * *

><p>"It's hell night and I'm going to meet your parents and they're going to <em>hate me<em>, I know they will, they probably already hate me, shit shit shit..." Dane was pacing up and down the walkway between the entrance to Dalton, where all the students were gathered to meet their parents, and Stuart House, where Alex had met him so they could walk together.

"They are not going to hate you, they don't already hate you, they don't even know you, and try not to curse in front of them," Alex said calmly, wanting to take Dane's hand or hug him or kiss him or calm him down in some way that wasn't just verbal, but he couldn't because they were out in the open.

Dane was wringing his hands and looking up at Alex with wide, scared eyes now. "What about if they take you away from me? Who will I talk to?"

"Damien's parents aren't coming, either," Alex said wisely. "You can talk to him. You guys are sort of friends, right?"

Dane looked at him, annoyed. "We should go to the entrance place where the parents are coming. Don't want your parents hating me even more because I kept you from them."

Alex looked around, but there was no one around them, no one could see. He put his hands on either of Dane's shoulders, and Dane tensed. "Okay, Daners. You are perfect. My parents will love you. They're not judgmental or harsh and they're gonna think you're great. Okay? Just take a deep breath and appear calm and be yourself and they'll love you. I know they will."

Dane took a deep breath and tried to appear calm. "Okay. I can do this." He bit his lip. "I think."

"You can." Alex, after another glance around, pecked him on the cheek and then turned around to walk brusquely toward the entrance area.

* * *

><p>"Alice, wait!" Lucie huffed, pushing her way past some of the freshmen in the doorway of Royal house, and mumbling a few apologies. "I need to talk to you." She reached for the brunette's hand and pulled backwards, nearly toppling onto the ground when Alice twisted away from her grasp.<p>

"I don't want to talk to you," Alice replied shortly, flipping her hair in superiority and crossing her arms over her chest. "Please, just do us both a favor and leave me alone."

"No." Lucie raced so that she could keep up with Alice's quick pace, which was proving difficult, considering that Lucie was just barely five feet. "I'm not going to leave you alone until you let me talk."

By this point, some of the girls surrounding the houses were staring, and Alice narrowed her eyes at each and every one of them. She didn't need attention like this drawn to herself, so she pulled Lucie behind a nearby tree and rested her hands on her hips in annoyance.

"What do you want?"

"I want to talk to you about this, about your _problem._" Lucie lowered her voice, leaning as close as possible to Alice with a sort of authority in her tone that was far beyond her years. Her eyes softened, scanning Alice's face for any sign that she might lash out. She didn't. "I think that you should tell your parents."

Alice scoffed.

"Are you stupid? I'm not going to tell them anything." Her eyes narrowed, leaning down so that her face was right above Lucie's, so close that she could feel Alice's hot breath on her face. "And you aren't going to either."

It wasn't a question.

Lucie flinched, taking a step back.

"I-I can't promise you that," said Lucie, as though she were walking on thin ice, and any movement could send her tumbling into the murky water beneath her. "I can't, Alice. I'm sorry. I-"

But Alice was done listening.

"If you tell them, I'm not over exaggerating when I say that I will hate you, and I will _never,_ever, talk to you again." Her cheeks were a deep red color, the color they normally got when she was yelling an insult at Alex, or when she was in a fight with Damien. Lucie never thought that she'd see Alice look that way with _her._She could feel her heart tearing apart in her chest.

"I'm sorry, Alice. This is for your own good. I love you and you're my _best friend,_and I'm sorry." Lucie could feel her eyes filling with tears, and she bit her lip to stop them from falling. She caught Alice's eyes one more time, big brown and pleading. They spoke everything that needed to be said, but Alice wasn't looking anymore, not really. All Lucie saw in Alice's eyes was hatred.

As she walked away, Lucie slid down the tree and cried.

* * *

><p>"Hey." Damien sidled up to Luke. The Windsor looked at him, surprised, with wide eyes.<p>

"Hello," he responded, raising an eyebrow. "What do you want?"

"Nothing! We're friends, right?"

"Well…we only know each other because we eat every meal together, but you never talk to me outside of that," Luke said, pretending to think deeply about it. "So I guess the real question is, what's in a meal?"

Damien laughed. "Friendship," he offered.

Luke nodded. "Okay. I guess we're friends then."

"Where are your parents?"

"England, obviously. Yours?"

"Forbidden to ever step foot at Hell Night."

"That makes sense. My dad actually sent me a long, detailed letter about reasons I should fake an illness and come home just for Hell Night so I wasn't here. But I think they're overreacting. It's unlikely that something is going to happen again."

Damien crossed his arms over his chest and watched all the other boys and girls greeting their parents, some enthusiastic, some wary, some already angry. "My papa said that he feels really bad that he can't be here but he said that the only other option is to come with like six bodyguards and that would be embarrassing. My dad offered to come but my papa almost had a heart attack or a conniption fit or something so my dad repealed the offer." He laughed dryly. "And I talk to them enough anyway."

"Are you upset they aren't here?" Luke asked, knowing the answer.

"Nah." Yes. Damien had been hoping he could show his dads that he was actually doing well in Newspaper Club and the Warblers, and he wasn't vandalizing things and being a bad kid anymore.

"Yes you are."

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"They still think I'm this rotten egg." Damien watched a couple come up to a girl he didn't know personally but who was in his English class and who wrote very nice poems that she submitted to the newspaper anonymously but everyone knew it was her. They hugged her and she was grinning widely. "I used to be. But that was just for attention, you know? Like all stupid middle school kids. And they still think I spend every Friday night getting drunk and drawing penises on teachers' desks."

"And that makes you sad."

"I guess it does." Damien looked at the grass for a moment and then turned to Luke. "And you? Are you sad your parents aren't here?"

"Well…not really. My dad's…_really_ embarrassing. He's always doing God-knows-what with his holy water and his salt and it's just kind of embarrassing. I mean, he's not a bad dad, he just…likes to protect people."

"I understand. Embarrassing dads are the worst." Damien looked around, trying to see if he could find Dane. "But at least he cares about you, you know? Like he wants nothing more than for you to be safe."

"Yeah." Luke nodded. "We should, um, go inside, I guess. No point standing out here."

"Okay."

* * *

><p>"NO GIVE THAT BACK!" Dane tried to grab his iPod from Alex, but Alex held it up high and Dane couldn't reach it. "I hate you," he mumbled, jumping up. Alex just grinned evilly. "Come <em>on<em>, dude, I need that!"

"I'm not going to break it, I just want to see what kind of music you have on it!"

"I don't have anything embarrassing, if _that's_ what you're-"

"POCKETFUL OF SUNSHINE?"

"It makes me feel happy, okay?" Dane made another grab for the iPod but Alex turned and ran away, across the grounds. Reed and Shane hadn't arrived yet, and they were just standing amidst the student body and their parents, waiting for Alex's parents to show up.

Dane chased Alex, pushing people aside, ignoring the fact that everyone was staring.

Alex skirted around a stranger who looked vaguely familiar but not really, more like he resembled someone Alex knew. And Dane ran right into the stranger and stopped, eyes wide and horrified.

Alex stopped when he realize Dane was no longer behind him. He turned around and saw Dane staring up at the vaguely familiar stranger.

And Alex put two and two together _very _quickly.

"Dad?" Dane was almost paralyzed with horror.

"Hey, champ." Derek mussed up Dane's hair awkwardly and Alex took a few steps toward them, hesitantly. "Who's this?" Derek asked, turning toward and looking at Alex.

"He's my friend!" Dane practically shouted, and a few heads turned their ways.

"Feel strongly about that, do you?" Derek asked, smiling at Alex and offering his hand. "I'm Dane's dad, call me Derek."

"Hey, Derek, I'm Alex." Alex took Derek's hand, completely at ease.

Dane moved so he was standing next to Alex and grinned up at his dad as if he really was really glad that Derek was there. "So! What are you doing here? Thought you said you couldn't make it!"

"Well I wasn't going to come, for obvious reasons, the same reasons Julian and Logan aren't here," Derek said, looking from Alex to Dane. "But I decided that I'd be a terrible father if I didn't come so I decided to surprise you!"

"Oh, cool," Dane said, nodding, trying to seem happy but not overly happy so it would be suspicious and certainly not so Derek thought that he should do this kind of thing ever again. "Where's mom?"

"She's still on her tour with her dance company," Derek said, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "So Alex. Tell me about yourself. What do you do? Are you on any sports teams with Dane? How do you guys know each other?"

Dane looked at Alex, suddenly paranoid that Alex would say something that would give it away, but then he relaxed when he remembered that this was Alex and of course he wouldn't give it away.

"I actually don't play sports, I'm so bad at them. I like photography." He motioned to the camera hanging on a strap around his neck. "And he and my sister are friends, ifyouknowwhatImean," he nudged Dane and Dane grinned, "so we know each other through her."

Derek smiled, eating it up. "What's her name?" he asked.

"I'd rather not say," Dane said, looking around slyly. "Don't want everyone to find out. We're kind of keeping it a private thing, you know…" He trailed off suggestively.

"Oh, I know," Derek said, winking. "Well, uh, I'm gonna go find a seat in there and you have a performance to get ready for, right?"

"Yeah." Dane smiled and as Derek was walking away, he said, "Thanks for coming, Dad!" Because he was actually kind of glad. In his relief that Derek didn't suspect a thing, he realized how nice it was that Derek had come. It couldn't be easy for him to be here, because of what happened when Derek was in his junior year.

"Well that was interesting," Alex said, turning to Dane.

Dane grimaced. "You see why I have such a problem."

Alex just smiled grimly. "Yeah, I see."

* * *

><p>"Dad! Papa!" Alex grinned, interrupting his conversation with Dane about the likelihood of surviving on an island inhabited by tiger people. Dane physically tensed, looking from the couple approaching them to Alex, who seemed almost completely oblivious to his inner terror. "Long time no see, you guys. You haven't changed a bit."<p>

The taller man laughed, pulling Alex into a tight embrace. Dane bit his lip to stop from grinning as the scene unfolded before him. Alex pulled back with a look of disgust, rubbing the back of his head self consciously.

"Dad! What did I tell you about public displays of affection?" Despite his embarrassment, he was smiling. The shorter of the couple, smiled fondly, looking Alex up and down as though he couldn't believe that he was actually seeing his son.

"I'm glad to see that you actually used the iron I got you, Alex. You look very nice."

"I knew you'd have a heart attack if I _didn't_use the iron, Papa. I'm just trying to lower the amount of time you have to spend in the hospital one ironing at a time."

The ends of Dane's mouth quirked up into a smile, because he knew that most days Alex's uniform looked like it had been rolled up into a ball and taken out of the hamper.

"Actually, Mr. Van Kamp-Anderson, Alex had to ask me how to work the iron this morning. He couldn't figure out how to turn it on."

Reed shook his head, amused, and raised an eyebrow at his son, who looked anything but.

"I like this kid." Shane motioned toward Dane with his thumb. "You must be Dane, right?"

"That would be me, sir." He smiled, meeting Shane's extended hand to shake it firmly.

"We've heard _a lot_of good things about you from Alex. It's almost like we've already met," offered Reed, who followed Shane's lead in shaking Dane's hand.

Dane raised an eyebrow at Alex, who was blushing furiously despite himself.

"I don't talk about you that much."

Reed and Shane grinned knowingly at each other, covering their smirks with their hands in an identical fashion.

Dane pretended not to notice.

"So, Dane," began Reed after a long beat of silence, "you're in the Warblers too, right?"

"Yep. I dance with Lucie, actually," Dane explained, smiling fondly.

"You dance too?" Shane looked as though he had just found the lost city of Atlantis in the same day as winning the lottery."It's decided, I like you, you can stay around for as long as you want."

"Dad!" Alex rolled his eyes, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

"Oh, sorry, I meant to say you can stay around for as long as Alex wants," Shane said with a tone of mock authority. "I have a shotgun hanging above my bed, you know."

"DAD!"

Dane chuckled, trying to hide the fact that he was slightly freaked out by the prospect of an angry dad with a shotgun.

"I hope that I won't give you any reason to bring out the shotgun anytime soon, sir."

"You can call me Shane, Dane." Dane tried not to laugh because their names were so extremely similar, that it was almost impossible not to. He noticed that Alex was chuckling under his breath.

"Will do."

"Well, we should probably be heading over to the Warbler performance." Reed interrupted the silence. "It was really nice meeting you, Dane." As generic as the statement was, Dane could tell that Reed actually meant it, and he felt a warm feeling of accomplishment spread through his body.

"You too." He responded, sincerely with a small nod at the shorter of the couple.

When Alex had said his final goodbyes to his parents, he turned to Dane with a look of mischief lighting up his eyes.

"So it's true. You really are shorter than my Papa."

"Shut up."

* * *

><p><em>Bum bum bee dum bum bum bee dum dum<em>

_No more gas in the rig  
>Can't even get it started<br>Nothing heard, nothing said  
>Can't even speak about it<br>All my life on my head  
>Don't want to think about it<br>Feels like I'm going insane  
>Yeah<em>

All eyes were on Alice as she stepped out from the group to sing lead, as she usually did. But tonight, anyone watching with a careful eye could see that Alice was not all in the performance. She stumbled a bit during her dance, which was barely noticed amongst the spasmodic nature of the dance itself, but Lucie noticed. She frowned from where she was positioned in the background with Dane, and flashed him a look that he didn't understand.

_It's a thief in the night  
>To come and grab you<br>It can creep up inside you  
>And consume you<br>A disease of the mind  
>It can control you<br>It's too close for comfort_

Alice felt herself slipping from consciousness, as though the mechanic beat was lulling her into its clutches like a monster under the bed. Despite the stage lights shining down on her, she felt cold, and she shivered, trying to stop her teeth from chattering. What was wrong with her?

_Throw on your brake lights  
>We're in the city of wonder<br>Ain't gonna play nice  
>Watch out, you might just go under<br>Better think twice  
>Your train of thought will be altered<br>So if you must faulter be wise  
>Your mind is in disturbia<br>It's like the darkness is the light  
>Disturbia<br>Am I scaring you tonight  
>Disturbia<br>Ain't used to what you like  
>Disturbia<br>Disturbia_

Alice closed her eyes and opened them again. Why was everything so loud? Everything was a blur. The voices drowned the air like sirens calling out to her, trying to drown her in their intricate melodies.

'No.' She tried to say, but nothing would come out of her mouth. The music faded into the background, and she was only vaguely aware of a falling sensation before she hit the hard wood floor of the stage.

"Alice!"

That was the last thing she heard before she let herself be carried away by the demons that had been swirling over her head.


	15. Chapter 15: Beyond Control

**AN: Thank you everyone SO much for all of the reviews! They mean a lot to us, they really do. In this chapter, Helen wrote the scene with Damien and Lucie at the hospital, the ending Klaine scene, and the second half of the Dalex scene with Damien. I wrote the first scene, and the first half of the Dalex scene.**

**Please continue to review and give us your feedback if you're reading! :D**

**Chapter 15: Beyond Control**

"So what exactly does this mean, doctor?" Blaine shifted uncomfortably on the metal stool, gripping his husband's hand for his own sanity. Kurt could feel the blood being drained from his fingers, but he couldn't be one to complain, not in a situation like this.

The doctor busied herself with looking down at her clipboard, avoiding all eye contact with Kurt or Blaine, as though she couldn't stand to explain the situation to them.

"It could have been a lot worse," she concluded, leaning against one of the cupboards that held medical supplies, "She appears to have serious malnutrition. One of her classmates said that she hasn't been eating for the past few days. She seemed drowsy before the performance, she was irritable, all symptoms of Anorexia Nervosa." The doctor eyed the couple in a way that made them both feel guilty. "Did you notice any kind of behavior like this before from your daughter? She never had body issues?"

They looked at each other, wide eyes searching for any sign of recognition. Kurt shook his head rapidly.

"No. No, there was nothing like that. She always seemed comfortable." Blaine nodded in agreement. Alice had never mentioned anything about that before. Maybe he hadn't noticed. Maybe he should have looked more carefully. He let his face fall into his hands, finding comfort in the way the rough skin felt against his cheeks. "But we don't see her much during the school year, doctor. We live in New York, so we only really see her on the holidays."

The doctor shook her head, biting down on her pen.

"Did she have any stresses in her life? Academics? I hear that Dalton has a strenuous academic program. Was she struggling?"

"No. She never mentioned anything like that. She always had good grades. We never noticed any problems with her eating habits before." Kurt's eyes were wide and desperate, and even though Blaine wasn't looking, he could hear the way that his voice rose whenever he was worried. It was the same way that his voice sounded when Reed had been rushed to the hospital after falling down the stairs back when they were 18.

"Is she okay? Just let us know that." Blaine didn't care if his tone was rude, he was done with being polite, not when his little girl was lying in a hospital bed unconscious.

The doctor paused, clearing her throat. The air supply in the room seemed to decrease, and Kurt and Blaine found themselves holding their breaths.

"Alice is in a very critical condition right now, Mr. Hummel-Anderson," she began slowly, weighing her every word to the expression of Blaine's face. "The lack of nutrients that Alice has been receiving have dropped her blood pressure dangerously low. She isn't getting what she needs, so the blood can't pump correctly. All her systems need those things to run, and because she isn't giving them that, they shut down temporarily."

"Temporarily?" Blaine sat up from his chair, pulling his hand out of Kurt's grasp. "What do you mean 'temporarily'?"

"Alice is in a temporary coma, Mr. Hummel-Anderson. I'm sorry."

* * *

><p>"This is…" Damien was trying to find words and it was very disturbing to him that he couldn't find any. "Interesting."<p>

Lucie nodded, turning around a corner, navigating the corridors of the hospital expertly. "It's not exactly how I pictured this night going, no…" She turned another corner and Damien followed in her wake.

"Hey, Lucie!" someone exclaimed happily from behind her. Lucie whirled about, eyes wide. It was a nurse that she worked with when she volunteered at the hospital.

"Oh, hey, Sheila." Lucie tucked a piece of hair behind her ear nervously and turned back around, hoping Damien wouldn't ask how she knew random nurses and how said nurses knew her.

But of course, Damien did ask. "Who's that and how does she know you?"

"Sheila. She, uh, she works here."

Damien just gave her a blank look. "Well duh. I mean how does she know _you_?"

"I um, I volunteer? Here? Sometimes?" Lucie said it as a question and not an answer.

"Oh. That's cool." Damien looked straight ahead and bit his lip. "I hope she's okay."

Lucie let out a breath and stopped. "This is it. Her room. 218."

Damien gulped. "Well I guess…" He bravely reached out and pushed down on the doorknob and gently opening the door. "After you."

Lucie stepped through and saw Alice, pale in her hospital gown, her makeup running in a way she would not have tolerated were she awake.

Damien came into the room too and closed the door behind him. Lucie heard a sharp intake of breath and neither of them noticed the nurse until she was saying, "Do I know you?"

Lucie was about to say that yeah, she volunteered at the hospital sometimes, but Damien was saying, "Yeah, weren't you the nurse who…" He trailed off.

"Your friend, right?" She came around the bed to stand in front of Damien and Lucie.

Lucie was looking from Damien to the nurse, confused.

"Yeah, yeah." Damien snapped his fingers. "You were the one who…"

"How is he doing nowadays?" she asked. "It wasn't too long ago, was it? Did you ever tell his dad?"

Damien shook his head.

"Well my offer still stands. Either of you need to talk to anyone, just come and ask for Lucinda."

"Maybe I will…" Damien gestured to Alice. "Especially now that I've got _this one_ to worry about too." He tried to crack a smile but it was a grimace.

"I'll leave you three alone now, I guess," Lucinda said, sliding past Damien and Lucie. "And Damien?"

"Hm?"

"They'll both be fine. You're a good friend."

Damien just looked at her and bit his lip.

"And Lucie?" Lucinda patted Lucie on the shoulder. "I'll see you tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah," Lucie said shyly.

"Don't you worry, your friend will be just fine," she said, to both of them.

"What was she talking about?" Lucie asked, nearing Alice and pulling a chair closer.

Damien did the same and sat down before answering. He wet his lips and said, "I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay." Lucie nodded and looked down at Alice. "Do you think she'll be okay?" she whispered.

Damien didn't say anything. He just reached out and fixed Alice's hair so it wasn't splayed out across the pillow anymore, it looked more natural.

"Do you think it's my fault?" Lucie asked in a small voice, open and vulnerable.

"No." Damien turned toward her, his tone fierce. "No, it's not your fault, not at all." Then, quieter, "If it's anybody's fault, it's mine."

"I should have told someone," Lucie whispered.

"I should have told someone, too," Damien whispered back.

"I screwed it all up."

"No, _I_ screwed it all up."

"Fine." Lucie reached over bravely and took Damien's hand. "We both screwed it up. But we're in this together now."

Damien nodded, the corners of his mouth twitching upward. "Yeah." He squeezed her hand, a friendly squeeze, because his heart still belonged to the girl in the hospital bed.

But he was glad to have Lucie by his side now, to borrow the blame for a little while, as selfish as that was.

* * *

><p>"I still can't believe it," Dane said, falling back onto his bed with a short thump. "All this time, and we never noticed. No one ever noticed, well besides Lucie and Damien, of course." He sat up on his forearms when he felt the springs of the bed shift when Alex sat down.<p>

"I just don't understand how someone could do that to themselves, hurt themselves like that," Alex contemplated, pulling his knees in to his chest. "I don't like Alice, but I still feel bad for her, you know? She's still my cousin." In reality, Alex felt extremely guilty for ever making jabs at Alice. They had always done it. He always thought that she was overly-confident in herself, and now that wasn't the case anymore, and Alex didn't know what to believe about anyone.

The bed springs shifted again as Dane scooted closer to Alex, wrapping an arm around him.

"You couldn't have known. Sometimes people are just beyond help."

Alex shook his head.

"That's not true," he whispered, nuzzling his hand into the hand that was placed on his shoulder. "Everyone can be helped somehow."

Dane took a sharp intake of breath, hoping that the action would go unnoticed by his boyfriend. It didn't. And when Alex turned around to raise a questioning eyebrow at him, he was already wearing his 'I'm okay' smile.

"Daners?" Alex placed his right hand over Dane's, which was currently resting on his knee. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Dane yanked his hand out of Alex's grasp uncharacteristically, and began playing with the sleeves of his blazer, as though it calmed him. "I just think that you're wrong. I think that some people are just screwed up, and no matter what anyone does, nothing is ever going to make things better for them."

Alex frowned. "We aren't talking about Alice anymore, are we?" Dane still had his eyes on his blazer, lost in his own thoughts. "You aren't beyond help either, you know."

"Can we just not talk about this tonight?" Dane shifted so that he was sitting cross legged on the bed, arms in his lap.

"You got better, didn't you? You've been doing a lot better." Alex turned to face Dane, and grabbed his hands like one might when talking to a small child. Dane instantly reacted, pulling his hands back as though Alex was King Midas, and not the boy that he was in love with.

"Would you stop touching me? I'm fine!" He crossed his arms over his chest protectively. "Just drop it, okay?"

"Why are you so jumpy? Every time I so much as touch your hand, you freak out!" He searched Dane's face for any sign that he understood what he was talking about. Dane's eyes weren't focused on him, however, they were down at his hands, that were fixing the ends of his blazer again, as though it was a size too small. "Why do you keep pulling at your sleeves?"

"My hands are cold." Dane mumbled, shoving both hands under his forearms, as though trying to warm them up.

"Then why don't you let me hold them?" Alex held out his palm for Dane to rest his hand in. He didn't take it, he only stared as though Alex's palm held a bomb.

"I just don't want you to!"

"What are you hiding?"

"Nothing!" Dane lifted his hands out from under his arms to shake them in agitation. Alex took this as his chance. He grabbed for Dane's left hand, pulling it toward him. "Get off!"

Alex pulled at the sleeve of Dane's blazer, lifting it up so that his full wrist was exposed. He gasped, letting it fall from his grasp.

"What are those?" Alex asked, pointing to the scars that covered Dane's wrist. "What are those!" he repeated, his voice cracking at the end of the exclamation. Dane cringed, pulling the ends of his blazer back down.

"You weren't supposed to see those."

"What are those, Dane?" Alex was becoming impatient. He bit his lip, trying to calm the anger that was coursing through his being.

"It's just my way of dealing with things, okay? You weren't supposed to find out." He turned on the bed so that he wasn't looking at Alex anymore, but Alex could hear the way his voice rose an octave, and he knew that his eyes were already filled with tears.

"Dane, you can't do this, you know." Alex let his feet touch the floor, walking around to the other side of the bed to kneel in front of his boyfriend. "You have to tell your dad," he whispered, thinking out loud, "And if you won't, then I will."

Dane turned to face him for the first time, placing both hands on the side of Alex's shoulders.

"No! You can't! Alex!" He shook his head, biting down on his lip to contain his angry tears. "You don't understand! I-"

"I understand that you're hurting yourself! I understand that you could_die_at any moment! I won't lose you, Dane!" His voice cracked, and he bit his lip to calm himself down. "I_can't_."

Dane's breath was stilled in his chest. He felt his heart constrict, and had the overwhelming need to take Alex in his arms and tell him not to worry about what Dane was going through. Alex shouldn't have to worry about him.

"I'm not_going_to die." Dane shook his head, pretending that he wasn't actually upset in the least about the situation by crossing his arms over his chest. "I have this all under control! I'm really careful about it."

Alex laughed bitterly, the sound cut the air, a lot like a knife, Dane thought.

"Right. I'm not going to tell Damien because you're 'careful' about it." His grey eyes softened, reflecting a sadness that Dane often saw in his own. "Why didn't you just talk to me if you were upset? I would have tried to make you feel better."

Dane decided that it was better not to look directly at Alex if he wanted to keep his emotions under control. He settled on watching the sun peek out from behind a particularly large puff of cloud. What kind of sick trick was it that the most beautiful day of the entire month had to come when everything was falling apart?

"No one can make me feel better," he mumbled, "Not you, not Damien, not Uncle Julian," He paused, as though it physically hurt him to speak,"-and especially not my dad."

Alex opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He felt like a squeaky toy filled with dust after years spent on a shelf.

"I'm trying." Alex's voice was so small, but it reached Dane's ears like a dog's whistle.

"I know you are, but you should stop. I'm never going to get any better, Alex!" His eyes started to fill with water again, as if realizing for the first time the reality of his statement. "Never."

"Maybe if you got some help from a therapist, you could get better! I know you can, and for that to happen you're going to have to tell your dad." At this point Alex was saying almost anything to get Dane to listen to him. He hated feeling like this. He hated the way his chest felt like it was going to give in at any moment. And if Alex felt that way, then he hated to think how Dane felt every day.

"No!" Dane opened his mouth to say more, when the room froze. Both sets of eyes traveled to the doorway where the knob was turning. "Shit."

"I am so _tired_, I want to just crawl in a hole and sleep for years. And never wake up. I've never been this ti-" Damien looked up and saw Alex's stricken look and the tears trailing across Dane's cheeks. "What? What happened?" He dropped his bag and closed the door (it shook the wall, but none of them noticed). "Are you okay?" He rushed to Dane's side, sitting on the bed next to him, not really sure what to do after that, so he just sat there, looking at Dane.

Dane didn't look at him.

"Um," Alex looked at Damien and licked his lips and he was about to say something, anything, about Dane and about the cuts on his arms, when Damien gasped.

"Holy shit, Dane Seigerson, don't tell me you-"

"I _didn't_!"

"Yes you did!" Damien reached down and before Dane could react, pulled up the sleeve of his blazer. He let out a soft breath, staring at the fresh scars on Dane's wrist. He couldn't say anything. He looked up at Dane but Dane was looking at the floor. He looked at Alex but Alex was looking at the scars.

Damien let Dane's arm drop, and it fell on the bed and bounced a little, limp.

There was silence. A terrible silence.

"I…" Damien closed his eyes tight and hoped that when he opened them, this whole night, this Hell Night, would be over. "I have nothing to say," he whispered.

Neither Dane nor Alex said anything.

"I thought…" Damien trailed off, not sure what he'd thought, not sure how this could have happened. Hadn't he been the one who was supposed to watch Dane closely? And make sure he didn't hurt himself? Or worse? Wasn't that his job?

Apparently, this was just another job he'd clearly failed.

"Me too," Dane said quietly, looking at Damien for the first time. "It's not your fault, Damien."

Damien just blinked and looked at his shoes. _Of course it is._

"Look at me!" Dane said loudly, and when Damien didn't, he shouted it. "Look at me, dammit!" Damien's gaze traveled upward slowly until his eyes met Dane's. "This. Is. Not. Your. Fault. This is _my_ fault, and you can't_worry_ about it, and you _can't-_" He turned to Alex. "You can't tell my dad." His voice was raw and broken and cracked on the word 'dad.' "You can't."

"Dane, this isn't going to _go away_," Alex said, his voice shaky.

"I know," Dane said quietly, looking at his arm and fingering the scars.

"And you need help," Alex added, taking the hand that was touching the scars and wrapping it in his own. "I love you, Daners, and I don't want to see you do this to yourself."

Dane sighed and looked at Damien. "Come on. Please. You _can't_ tell my dad. That wouldn't help. It would just…"

Damien was looking at the scars. "I think it would help, Dane. I know you don't think so right now, and I know you're afraid, and I _know _that…" He trailed off because he couldn't trust his voice anymore. "I just need to help you, even if it might cost our friendship. You understand that, right?"

Dane shook his head.

"But Dane, you know you and me, we've been living in this, this _fantasy_ for long enough, okay? The fantasy that maybe if we just wait, you'll get _better_. I never told anybody. I never…I should have. I should have told somebody, I should have told them, about you and about Alice and now maybe you're both going to die." He leaned into Dane, who wrapped his arm around his best friend and let Damien cry.

"I'm not going to die," Dane said in a voice much like they were discussing the fate of a squirrel and not the fate of a person, not his own fate.

"You can't make that promise," Alex said quietly, and Dane turned to look at him, and brown met grey, and a familiar sadness swept over Dane, and he rested his head on Damien's and he cried like he'd never cried in front of anyone before.

* * *

><p>Kurt was standing above Blaine, his hands resting on his husband's shoulders, massaging gently. Blaine was looking at Alice and trying not to cry.<p>

"She'll be okay," Kurt whispered, and just at that moment, as if it was timed, as if she was lying awake, waiting for the perfect moment, Alice's eyes fluttered open.

Kurt jumped back and Blaine exhaled, letting out the breath he'd been holding since she'd fainted onstage.

"Alice!" Kurt exclaimed, and he and Blaine were both up and standing by her bedside.

She blinked, confused, and then smiled a little bit.

They smiled back.

It was okay.

Alice would be okay.


	16. Chapter 16: Dirty Little Secret

**SO! This is the chapter that we've been waiting for and planning out since the whole thing started. So we hope you like it, and we'd really, really love nothing more than to hear your opinions on it! Leave us a review or stop by our tumblr (forgoodfic tumblr com) (periods instead of spaces) and let us know what you think!**

**We'll explain who wrote what after the chapter, because we don't want to give anything away. :)**

**CP Coulter owns Derek, Casey, Reed, Shane, Julian, and Logan.**

**The All-American Rejects own Dirty Little Secret.**

**(Note: This is the longest chapter yet. 7,000 words. O.O)**

"Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid." Alex was pacing the room and wringing his hands. "What am I supposed to do? I don't have any secrets!"

Dane just looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "You don't have any secrets. Right, and hi, I'm an alien from planet XYZ, come to abduct you and take you back to my laboratory to study your-"

"Would you shut up?" Alex snapped, and Dane looked down at his feet. "I can't think of what I should write on my stupid freaking sign thing! What kind of assignment is this? It's the worst. I can't believe this. I hate this. I can't think of anything! I don't want to write something on my sign that everyone at regionals will _see_! This is so stupid! The _one_ performance that I'm _forced_ to do even though I'm a terrible singer and I hate performing just because Alice had to go and land herself in the hospital and you need an even number of people… WHY DO WE HAVE TO DO THIS?"

"I think it's kind of a good idea," Dane said to his shoes.

"What?" Alex whirled and looked at his boyfriend. "No, this is way stressful!"

"Well…it's like the music video for the song…"

"It's a stupid song!"

"Dirty Little Secret is _not_ a stupid song!"

"Well it's a stupid music video!"

"I think it's nice! Everyone walking around with little signs of their secrets? It's cool!"

"It's not cool, it's stupid!"

Dane stood up and stepped toward Alex, putting his hands on Alex's shoulders and looking into the taller boy's eyes. "Okay, you know who _should_ be freaking out about this?"

"You," Alex mumbled.

"Right. Because I'm the one with the big _secret _here. So _you_, my friend, will be fine. Just say something like… 'I have four toes.' Or something, I don't know!"

Alex nodded. "But I can't think of anything that I want people to _know_ anything that I keep a secret! This is so…ugh. I hate this."

"Make something up, then," Dane suggested. "That's what most people are going to. Hell, that's what _I'm_ probably going to do."

Alex looked at him with big grey eyes. "Really? You're going to make something up?"

Dane shrugged. "I can't exactly tell the _truth_, can I?"

"Well…" Alex bit his lip. "Okay. Fine. Whatever. I just don't want to make something up. People will think it's true, it's just a lot of pressure!"

Dane looked at his shoes again and then back up at Alex. "I think I might say… 'I think I'm not good enough.'"

Alex looked back at him. "Okay," he said, and bravely, he ran his fingers along Dane's forearm, fingering the fabric of the blazer. "We're going to tell your parents when we see them next week," he whispered. "At regionals."

Dane didn't nod or shake his head or even acknowledge that Alex had spoken at all, though they both knew that he had. After a moment, he said, "Well what about you? Do you have any insecurities that you could write about?"

Alex thought about it for a moment. "Well…I mean, what about… 'I'm too tall.'"

Dane just looked at him.

"Okay! Okay I got one! 'I'm too hot.'"

Dane blinked.

"Um…that's all I got, sorry dude!" Alex shrugged, a cocky grin on his face.

Dane crossed his arms over his chest, waiting.

"Well," Alex said after a moment. "There is…one thing."

"Okay, shoot."

"I'm afraid…ofbeingstereotypical." Alex said this all in a rush, his eyes wide.

Dane smiled a little bit. "I already knew _that_."

"Well that's all I can think of!" Alex protested.

"So then write that on your sign."

Alex nodded slowly, thinking it over. "But…"

"Just do it! Don't be a sissy!"

"I…"

"Come on, dude! It's not like something _bad_ is gonna happen if you write a _real_ secret on your sign!"

Alex looked down at his hands and murmured, "I know."

* * *

><p>"What are we going to tell him?" Alex asked, pushing the door to the auditorium open. Today was the day that he had been dreading for the last few weeks. This was the moment that had caused all of his sleepless nights. Damien frowned, pulling his jacket tighter around his body even though it was the beginning of spring.<p>

"If I knew I would tell you, believe me." Damien leaned against one of the walls, staring absentmindedly at the white painted walls.

"Have you seen him yet?" Alex looked out the window to the parking lot, where all the parents were arriving for the competition. Damien shook his head.

"Uncle Derek's usually pretty early for this stuff, it's only a matter of time before-" Damien paused in the middle of his sentence as a short, stocky man opened the door to the auditorium. Damien froze up, and Alex jumped. They both looked at each other with equal expressions of terror, before Alex pushed Damien's back, ushering him forward.

"Uncle Derek!" Damien called with a voice that was so cheery, it had to be fake. Derek looked up from where he was talking to Casey and smiled.

"Damien!" He paused, his face lighting up with recognition, "And Alex, right?"

"Yep, that's me." Alex laughed uneasily, hoping that Derek wouldn't notice. Damien cleared his throat out of nervous habit, and they both looked at him.

"So, Derek, we need to talk to you about something," Damien began, weighing his every word on Derek's expression, which was blissfully unaware of what the conversation they were about to have would entail. "We should probably all talk in private." He motioned between himself, Derek and Alex.

"Oh," Derek's brow furrowed.

He glanced at Casey, who nodded. "It's fine," she said. "I'll go get us some seats."

"Um, okay." Derek watched as she walked away and then turned to Damien and Alex.

Damien pushed open the glass doors of the auditorium and walked around the side of the building until he reached a particularly secluded area. "So what is it that you needed to talk to me about?" Derek asked brightly.

Damien and Alex looked at each other, both urging the other person to start the conversation, and neither one of them wanting to do the job. After a minute of awkward silence, Alex decided to speak up, running a hand through his hair.

"I don't know how you're going to handle this." Alex bit his lip. It pained him to even think about what he was about to say, let alone to actually hear the words out loud. "It's about Dane." He couldn't say it yet, not yet. He had to lead Derek into it. Maybe if he was lucky, Damien would say it for him.

Derek raised an eyebrow in concern and crossed his arms over his chest.

"What about Dane?"

Alex took a deep breath, as though he was preparing to sing a particularly long note. Just as he opened his mouth to speak, Damien interrupted him.

"He cut himself." Alex's mouth hung open in shock at the bluntness of Damien's words, and looked to Derek's who was wearing an expression with the same level of concern as a minute ago.

"He cut himself on what?"

"You don't get it." Damien shook his head violently. "I'm trying to tell you that Dane _cuts_himself. He tried to-he tried to-" Damien couldn't even finish his sentence without his voice shaking. "He tried to _kill_ himself."

Derek still didn't grasp the full meaning of Damien's words. He looked from Damien to Alex, whose eyes were so wide that he knew that neither of them were joking. This was real.

"What?" It was all he could say. He didn't know what else _to_say.

Damien closed his eyes, as though reliving all of the bad thoughts over again in his mind. Alex took this as his cue to continue.

"Dane's been depressed for a while now." Alex's voice was so small, it was almost a whisper. "The first time something like this happened was a few months ago. That was the time he went to the hospital."

Derek leaned against the brick wall for support. He thought he might faint if he didn't. He gawked at Damien, looking almost betrayed, and it broke Damien's heart.

"When you said that he slipped and fell, that was all a _lie._" Derek replayed the scene over again in his head. The look on Damien's face when Derek came to visit Dane in the hospital, the scars from where the stitches had been. Why the hell was he so stupid? He should have known that Dane wouldn't trip and cut himself in such an exact way.

"I thought I had it under control." Damien hated the sound of his voice. He hated the way he was trying to defend himself, when in reality, the truth was there no matter what. He was the one who had screwed things up. "I'm sorry."

"And how long has this been going on, huh?" Derek gritted his teeth together in an effort to keep himself under control.

Damien winced, not wanting to even admit to how long he had been a bad friend for.

"About three years," Alex said. The silence was almost unbearable at this point, and the sound of his own heartbeat rang out loud and clear in his ears.

"Three years?"

"Three years," Alex confirmed, not wanting to be in Derek's position right now. He remembered when he first found out, and his heart clenched. "Are you alright, Mr. Seigerson?"

"What type of question is that?" Derek snapped, before his eyes softened, looking down at the pavement. "I'm sorry, but that's just a-" He inhaled a large huff of air, making a whistling noise, "-a lot to take in at one time."

"What should are you going to do?" Damien asked, wiping his sweaty palms on his uniform. "I think that he should start seeing someone, like a therapist or something."

Derek moved his hand to cover his mouth, deep in thought. He stood that way for so long, that Alex and Damien felt like they were intruding, and shuffled their feet awkwardly.

"I'll talk to him after the performance." He decided, looking between the two Warbler's stricken faces. "Thank you for telling me, you two." They nodded, just happy that the conversation was over. They moved to walk back into the building, waiting for Derek to follow, but he didn't. He stayed in the same position, half-petrified. It made both of them uneasy.

"Are you coming?" Damien asked, his voice had that same false cheer that it had earlier, and Alex cringed.

"No." Derek responded numbly, eyes never leaving the spot on the pavement. "I'm just going to stay here for a little bit longer. I'll be in for the performance, okay?"

Alex and Damien shot each other a look, and nodded, walking away to leave Derek to his thoughts.

* * *

><p>Dane looked at his sign. He put it down on the table where everyone else's was. Then he picked it up. He looked at it again, and put it down again.<p>

He bit his lip and ran his hand through his hair. Everyone was out greeting their parents, but Dane couldn't greet his parents because Damien and Alex had made him promise to stay in the green room and besides, Dane did not want to see his mom and dad right now.

"I think I'm not good enough," he murmured to himself, reading the sign, the careful lettering, large enough so that the people in the audience could see it easily.

"I think I'm not good enough," he whispered, a little louder than before, really trying out the words.

_That's not your Dirty Little Secret,_ a voice said in the back of his head, and Dane froze. His eyelids fluttered shut in annoyance, and his right hand flew up to his left wrist. He touched the fabric, feeling it under his fingers. It was familiar and he repeated it to himself. "I think I'm not good enough."

That was his Dirty Little Secret, it really was.

_That isn't your Dirty Little Secret, you despicable liar, useless human being._

Dane looked back at his sign and suddenly he hated it. He wanted to throw it out the window, to burn it.

Maybe he could change it.

Maybe he could write something else.

'I'm not very good at baseball.'

'I've always wanted a dog.'

'I hate football.'

'…I'm gay.'

And then that was it. Once the thought had occurred to him, he couldn't shake it. 'I'm gay.' He looked around, desperately, wishing Alex and Damien would come back, wishing _someone_ would come back, he couldn't change his sign once there were other people there, where _were_ they all?

"_Just do it! Don't be a sissy!"_

"_Come on, dude! It's not like something bad is gonna happen if you write a real secret on your sign!"_

Dane heard these echoes of his own voice in his mind, and he wondered if he was going crazy. Probably. It wouldn't surprise him if he was.

_It's not like something bad is gonna happen if you write a real secret on your sign!_

Dane looked down at the white cardboard with the black lettering, because that was all it was. It wasn't really his secret. He knew that. Yes, it was true, no, he didn't think he was good enough.

But it wasn't his secret, not _the_ secret.

"It's just a stupid performance," he said out loud, to the sign, to the voice in the back of his head that was poking at prodding at his conscience, his damn conscience, the cause of all his problems, every reason he'd ever hated himself.

"I think I'm not good enough," he told the sign and the voice. "That's it, that's my secret, there's no way I'm changing it."

He turned around, determined to not look at the sign, it wasn't like he was going to change it, going to make a new one. He liked the sign he had. Why should he change it?

His gaze fell on his cell phone. It was sitting on a table next to his sneakers. He went to pick it up, but he didn't press any buttons, didn't turn it on, because he knew what the background picture was.

A football.

A fucking football.

Dane hated football, and for some reason, the thought of this football, and the thought of how Damien's background had been pictures of him and Alice for years, and how Dane's background was a football.

Dane hated football.

So why was it a football?

Why the hell was it a football, why wasn't it Alex?

Alex deserved to be someone's phone background.

It's funny, how sometimes there are big things in our lives that mean nothing to us, and then little things come along and we fall over.

Dane didn't even know what he was doing as he threw the phone down on the ground like it embodied what he hated, that football he hated, the life he led that he hated. He didn't know what he was doing as he took his sign and broke it in half, tearing as hard as he could, feeling tears at the backs of his eyes. He didn't know what he was doing as he found an extra piece of cardboard and a marker.

He didn't know what he was doing as he set the cardboard on the floor and knelt down in front of it.

As he carefully wrote in the letter 'I.'

And then once he'd written I, everything was easier, _everything_ was so much easier.

_I'm in love with a dude._

* * *

><p>Damien shook his hands at his sides, waiting in the wings of the stage for the announcer to introduce the Warblers to the audience. He shook his feet out of nervous habit, and swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat.<p>

Normally Alice would be here to tell him to break a leg. Normally Alice would be right up on the stage next to him. But Alice was gone, and it was all his fault.

"Nervous?"

Damien jumped. He whirled around to meet brown concerned eyes looking up at him. He smiled, as much as he knew how to smile given the current state of drama.

"Nah." He ran a hand through his hair. "Just thinking."

Lucie nodded, staring out at the stage as though she were seeing into the future, as though all the answers that she was searching for could be found straight ahead. Her chest rose as she took a long breath through her nose.

"I've been thinking a lot about it too." She played with her hair absentmindedly, wrapping a blonde curl around her finger. "And I think that we need to give this performance everything we've got. That's what Alice would want." She nodded to herself, as though just hearing it out loud made it all the more sensible.

"Yeah." Damien nodded his head in agreement. "She would have."

'_And now without further ado, the Dalton Academy Warblers!'_

Lucie's eyes widened.

"That's us." She turned toward Damien and mouthed 'good luck' before the rest of the Warblers shuffled to their places on the stage.

The Warblers all faced backward with their heads downwards. The tenors began to sing the introduction to the song, and they turned around individually as the music reached a crescendo. The other voice parts followed suit, creating a wave of harmonies that blended together to sound as though there were actual instruments present. When the sopranos had turned around and added their harmony part to the mix, Damien and Lucie took their places in front of the group.

_Let me know that I've done wrong,  
>I've known this all along,<br>I go around a time or two,  
>Just to waste my time with you.<em>

Damien took the lead, belting out the first notes of the song while Lucie harmonized. Their voices fit together so that it sounded effortless. Lucie grinned at her partner, gripping her mic like it was her lifeline.

_Tell me all that you've thrown away,  
>Find out games you don't wanna play,<br>You are the only one that needs to know-_

The first of the Warblers broke free from the crowd to grab one of the white cardboard signs that had been placed upside down on the end of the stage. He picked up a sign to the far right of the stage and lifted it so that he was holding his secret in front him.

'She doesn't know I exist.'

_I'll keep you my dirty little secret,_

Damien kicked the air, banging his head like a complete rockstar. He forgot all of his earlier worries. Right now it was just him and the music.

_(Dirty little secret)_

Lucie echoed him as another Warbler came up to display their sign.

'I'm terrified of whales.'

_Don't tell anyone or you`ll be just another regret,  
>(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)<br>My dirty little secret,  
>Who has to know?<em>

The audience laughed appreciatively when a boy came up with a sign that said, 'My dog didn't really eat my homework' and gasped dramatically when another wrote, 'I hate my mom.'

_When we live such fragile lives,  
>It's the best way we survive,<br>I go around a time or two,  
>Just to waste my time with you,<em>

_Tell me all that you've thrown away,  
>find out games you don't wanna play,<br>you are the only one that needs to know-_

Alex came up to the front of the stage and lifted his sign to show to the audience.

'I'm afraid of being stereotypical.' He shrugged carelessly with a half smirk, as though he was a kid that was forced to take drama class because all of the gym classes were full. As stupid as it sounded, he actually felt a hundred percent better about himself after he had taken his turn with the sign. It was like a huge weight that he didn't know he was carrying around had been lifted off of his back. He felt his chest untighten as he joined the rest of the Warblers, happy that his turn was over and done with.

In the audience, Reed shook his head, smiling, and turned to Shane who did the same. If there was one thing they knew about their son, it was that he was never stereotypical.

_I'll keep you my dirty little secret,  
>(Dirty little secret)<br>Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret,  
>(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)<br>My dirty little secret._

One by one the Warblers stepped out to the front of the stage to show their secret. As the performance went on, everyone let themselves loose. Some of the kids did a little turn when they stepped to the front, others jumped in the air. It was each person's moment to just be themselves and not care what anyone thought.

'I jerk off in the boys' bathroom every day.'

'I sleep talk.'

'I dropped my roommate's toothbrush in the toilet and didn't tell them.'

Everyone was wearing huge smiles, spinning around each other in time to the music, everyone except for Dane. He felt his chest constrict, and for a moment, he considered not going to the front of the stage at all. Maybe they would all think that he didn't have any secrets. Maybe no one would notice.

_Who has to know?  
>The way she feels inside (inside!)<br>Those thoughts I can't deny (can't deny!)  
>These sleeping thoughts won't lie (won't lie!)<br>And all I've tried to hide_

The lyrics hit Dane's ears like the heartbeat of a Dane that would soon be dead. Soon there would be no pretending, everyone would know. He couldn't hide it anymore. This was his chance, and this was one chance that he wasn't going to blow. He wouldn't screw anything up, wouldn't let the nightmares haunt his dreams. He wouldn't wake up screaming in the night. He wouldn't have to lie to his dad, or sleep with another girl that he never intended to call back. There would be no more false promises. No more hollow hearts. He would win this fight, and he would finally be happy, for once.

_It's eating me apart  
>Trace this life back!<em>

Dane felt like his heart was going to explode in his chest. With a sudden burst of energy he jumped out to pick up his sign. His heartbeat blocked out everything, and for a moment, the whole auditorium seemed silent. Everything was in slow motion. The red lights turned gray, and it was only him left on the stage.

He flashed back to a time when he was 10 years old and his dad was trying to teach him how to hit a baseball. No matter how many times he tried, he missed. Dane had never felt more like a failure. He remembered his dad knelt down in front of him and put both hands on his shoulder and whispered, 'You can do anything you set your mind to.'

And then before Dane really knew what he was doing, he had his sign flipped over, and his soul was exposed to the entire auditorium.

'I'm in love with a dude.'

_I'll keep you my dirty little secret,  
>(Dirty little secret)<br>Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret.  
>(Just another regret)<em>

Dane felt his hold body alive with emotions. His hands shook from where he had touched the sign, as though the brush of the cardboard to his skin had poisoned his body. He felt like he wanted to throw up and laugh at the same time, and he didn't know whether or not he was actually going to do either.

He felt the eyes on him, everyone in the auditorium was judging him. Everyone in the Warblers was judging him. It was him versus everyone else now.

Derek's eyes had never left the place on the stage where Dane had stood with his sign. His whole body tensed up, and he didn't know if it was possible for him ever to move from the exact position that he was sitting in at the moment.

Surely the sign had to be a joke. It had to be. Dane wasn't gay. He was always going out with girls! He was always checking girls out, dating girls! This had to be some kind of inside joke or something. Dane couldn't be dating girls as beards! Why would he do that? Derek wasn't homophobic. His best friends were gay. Why would Dane think that Derek wouldn't accept him? He just always assumed that-

And suddenly, watching his son on that stage, insecure and vulnerable, all of the puzzle pieces fit together. The trips to the hospital, the self-harm, the way Dane was always so uptight whenever he spoke to him. How could he be so fucking stupid? How hadn't he noticed that his son didn't like girls?

He always seemed so excited to tell Derek about his latest date, and Derek felt his stomach drop as the memories flew through his head, all the details that had seemed minute before stood out.

He felt Casey's hand grasp his forearm, and he turned to her with the same mask that he had worn ever since his son had taken his sign.

"I," He whispered, swallowing harshly, "Did you know about this?"

Casey shook her head, smiling sadly. She slid her hand down Derek's forearm and entwined their fingers together.

Derek returned the smile as best he could, and returned his concentration to his son. There was only one thing on his mind. How the hell was he going to fix this?

_I'll keep you my dirty little secret,  
>Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret,<br>(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)  
>My dirty little secret,<br>Dirty little secret,  
>Dirty little secret.<em>

Damien glanced warily at Lucie, whose eyes were in a perpetual state of enlargement. Neither of them had expected Dane to actually _come out_tonight. Heck, neither of them had expected Dane to come out this _year._And as the two stepped out to retrieve the final two signs that were left on the stage, they didn't care how difficult their own secrets were to reveal, because Dane's bravery was ten times their own.

Damien lifted his sign first.

'I knew about it and I never told anyone.'

_Who has to know?_

He motioned for Lucie to lift her sign, and she did, grinning broadly as she sung her final notes. 'I volunteer at the hospital because I want to be a doctor.'

_Who has to know?_

The Warblers all lined up as the song came to a close, each displaying their signs for the audience to see one last time, before they tore up their dirty little secrets and threw the pieces out into the dark auditorium.

And when Dane looked around the stage for the first time since he had displayed his secret, he saw Alex looking back at him, smiling like he had never seen him smile in all the time that they had been dating. And for once, Dane was able to smile right back.

* * *

><p>The second that the curtains had closed and the performance had finished, Dane ran ahead of the other Warblers so that he wouldn't have to answer any questions. He hated how they were looking at him. Everyone's eyes were on him, crowding around him, watching his every move, and he needed to get out of the auditorium before he suffocated under their gazes.<p>

When the cool metal of the auditorium door hit his fingers he sighed in relief, slamming the door behind him and leaning against it as though he was worried that someone would try to follow him and he had to make sure that they were kept out.

He closed his eyes, replaying the performance through his head like a slide show. His dad was in that auditorium right now. He knew.

Dane felt his hands begin to shake, and the top half of his body suddenly felt heavier than it ever had before. His knees shook from the pressure, and he found himself stumbling forward.

He steadied himself and ran a sweaty palm through his hair. No one else was in the lobby right now, they were all back in the green room or watching the next performance, so when the creaking of the auditorium door reached his ears, he found himself wanting to run in the opposite direction. When he saw his dad step out of the auditorium, the urge to run stopped suddenly.

He found himself glued to his spot, unable to move, unable to speak. Their eyes locked, brown with brown, so similar, yet so different.

Dane was only vaguely aware that his dad had moved from his spot in front of the door when he heard the soft clicks of his oxfords against the linoleum.

"Dane," Derek broke the silence, rubbing the back of his neck like he always did when he was uncomfortable, "Why didn't you just tell me?"

It was the question that Dane had been wondering himself for three years, and all he found himself able to do was shrug.

"Did you think I would be mad? Because I'm not." Derek searched Dane's face. "I just want you to be happy, Dane. That's all I've ever wanted for you."

Dane felt his heart constrict in his chest, and he swore that he had never hated himself more in his life. Why did he have to hide everything from his dad? Why did he have to fuck up everyone's lives just because he was too afraid of being who he was?

"I-" Dane tried to speak, but still no sounds would come out. "I just didn't want you to be disappointed." Dane tore his gaze away from his dad, unable to look at him anymore without feeling guilt wash over his entire being.

"Why would you ever be a disappointment to me? Because you don't like girls?" Derek tried to calm himself down. He told himself that he wouldn't get angry. He was angry at himself, if he was angry at anyone.

"Yes." There was so much more that Dane wanted to say, but he knew that if he spoke he would start sobbing, and he did not want to show that kind of vulnerability in front of his dad, who was always so strong. "I just wanted to be the son you've always wanted." It came out broken, and Dane took a breath between each word to steady his voice, but it was what he needed for Derek to hear. He needed him to know that it wasn't his fault. Everything was Dane's fault.

The sentence had the exact opposite effect on Derek, and he opened his mouth and closed it a few times before he could say anything, as though he had just been slapped.

"You think I care if my son is gay or straight? The only reason I ever talked with you about girls was because I thought you liked them! If you had just told me I would have been fine with it! If you had just told me everything would be okay! You would be okay, and you wouldn't have to hurt-" Derek's voice cracked in a very un-Derek-like way, and he cringed as the sound hit his ears. "-hurt yourself."

"Alex and Damien talked to you." Dane's voice was hollow, keeping his mouth in a straight line and grinding his teeth together to stop himself from showing too much emotion.

"And thank God they did! What the hell were you thinking? You could have _died._"

Dane didn't respond for a few minutes. He stood in his place and stared, swallowing repeatedly as though the added moisture would give him the words that he needed to say.

"And maybe I deserve to die."

Dane didn't need to look at his dad to know what his reaction was.

"There is nothing wrong with being gay, Dane." Derek tried to keep his voice controlled, but every word shook like the pen of a right-handed person that was told to write with their left hand instead. "There's nothing wrong with _you._"

"Oh yeah? Then why do I always fuck everything up? Why are you so worried? Why was Damien crying because of me? Why do I cause everyone pain?" Dane's eyes stung with fresh tears, like poison rolling down his cheeks. "Why shouldn't I suffer for the pain I cause everyone else?"

Derek scrunched up his face to stop himself from crying.

"This is not your fault, Dane. If this is anyone's fault it's _mine_." He let out a deep breath, "And I will do whatever I have to do to make sure that you _never_have to feel that way again. We'll get you help."

Dane shook his head.

"No one can help. Uncle Julian couldn't help, Uncle Logan couldn't help-"

"They knew about this?" Dane shrunk into himself. 'Great,' he thought, just another thing that he messed up. "You told them, but you couldn't tell me?

"Damien told them. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have talked to them I-"

Derek shut his eyes and took a deep breath, mentally pushing the anger toward Julian and Logan to the back of his mind.

"That doesn't matter right now. I'm not mad." Derek placed a hand on Dane's shoulder in an effort to comfort him. Dane shrugged him off. He didn't need sympathy. "Dane, I just want you to be happy. I've said it once and I'll say it a hundred more times until you believe me. You are not a screw up, and you are everything that I could ever ask for in a son and more."

Dane looked up for the first time from where he was studying the linoleum tiles to look his dad in the eye. Derek's eyes were so honest and loving that Dane found himself crying all over again. And before he knew it, he was hugging his dad like he hadn't since he was 10 years old. And Derek was hugging him back, and all of a sudden nothing mattered anymore. They were the same father and son that they had always been far before any of Dane's problems had taken hold of him, and it was such a safe, nice feeling that Dane found himself wanting to cling on a little longer than expected.

"I love you, Dad." He hadn't said those words in so long that they felt strange and familiar and wonderful at the same time. Derek smiled, tears evident in his own eyes. He and Dane hadn't had the best relationship in the last few years, and it almost felt like Dane was still the little boy he used to play baseball with in the yard.

"I love you too, Dane." And for the first time in months, Dane was happy.

Derek and Dane turned and broke apart when they heard someone's hesitant footsteps enter the lobby area. It was Alex.

His hair was messed up, and Dane knew that he'd been running his hands through it for the past few minutes, and Dane felt a twinge of guilt, knowing that he should've told Alex about how he was going to change the sign, or said something to him afterward.

"Um," Alex said, looking from Dane to Derek and back. "I don't want to…interrupt…"

Dane shook his head rapidly. "No, you aren't interrupting, not at all!" He stepped toward Alex and Alex stepped toward him, but they both realized that Derek was there and maybe Derek wasn't done talking to his son.

"Um, this is, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"No, you're fine." Derek smiled a little bit, though it was tight. He looked between Alex and Dane. "I, uh…We were…"

Dane realized that Derek was about to tell Alex to leave them alone, and he realized that he didn't want that. So he held out his hand, and Alex took it, and Dane turned toward his dad, held up their entwined hands, and said, bravely, "This is the dude."

Derek nodded absently, and then he realized what Dane meant. His eyes bulged like he couldn't look at Alex enough, and he just stared for a moment, surprised, shocked.

"Oh!" He stepped forward, brushing his hand on his pants, and then offered it for a handshake. "Well! I guess I've already met you as Dane's friend, and I just talked to you…earlier…" He looked warily at Dane, remember the content of his and Alex's and Damien's earlier conversation. "…but I'd like to meet you as his boyfriend." He leaned in closer, trying to diffuse the tension. "If you break his heart, I'll break your face."

Alex coughed to hide his laughter, shaking Derek's hand. Derek had a very firm handshake. "I'll keep that in mind, Mr. Seigerson."

"Call me Derek."

Alex smiled and then looked at Dane, who looked at him, and they had a whole conversation with their eyes. As this 'conversation' went on, a smile grew on Dane's face, became wider and wider, and Derek felt the ghost of a smile etched on his own face, just watching his son smile.

It occurred to him that he'd never really seen Dane smile quite like that.

"I'll go…" Derek tried to think of where he could go. But he couldn't. "I'll go somewhere else. Leave you two alone for a minute." He turned jerkily and walked back through the doors into the auditorium, looking dazed.

Dane and Alex were already looking at each other and they were standing so close that it was easy to close the distance between them.

Their lips connected and it was like that magic spark that everyone's always talking about, the one that Dane didn't believe in and Alex didn't think he could ever feel. Those fireworks that neither thought they'd ever see. The blues and reds and pinks and yellows, all electric in the sky, piercing the velvet and the stars, it was all there, all covering the stark whiteness of the lobby.

Alex's fingers wrapped in Dane's hair and Dane clutched at Alex's shirt, balling it in his fists, pulling himself closer, closer, infinitely closer.

It occurred to him that people would come out into the lobby at any moment, that they would see him standing there kissing a boy.

But it didn't matter anymore, none of that mattered.

The fireworks were booming above their heads, and it was a moment before they realized that it was applause from the auditorium. Neither of them wondered who had won the competition. It didn't matter, not at all.

The world was on fire and they were burning, and it was okay.

The doors were opening and people were streaming out of them.

Without thinking about it, as if their minds were one, they parted, only slightly, just enough for Dane to jump up and wrap his legs around Alex, and for Alex to put his right hand under Dane's bottom to support him, and then Alex walked toward the exit, laughing, watching Dane's grin, the way he laughed, releasing all the bad thoughts and the bad feelings that had haunted him for so many years.

"I can't believe you," Alex said, using his hip to push open the door that led to the outside. The cool night air felt fresh, a small wind blowing, the smell of spring filling their nostrils.

"Why?" Dane asked, angling his face downwards to peck Alex's cheek.

The door fell shut behind them and Alex leaned against the outer wall of the school, the exposed brick feeling cool on his back.

"You're…" Alex looked into Dane's eyes, looking happier than they'd ever looked since Alex had met Dane. "You're happy."

"Is that so unbelievable?" Dane whispered, the light above their heads buzzing, mosquitoes gathering around it, the whiteness reflected in Dane's eyes as two white orbs.

"Yes," Alex breathed, and then they were kissing again, even deeper and more passionately than before, because they were outside and there was nothing to be sad about, not right now.

**Helen wrote the Dalex at the beginning and end, and Dane's deciding to change his sign. Caitlin wrote the Dirty Little Secret scene, the scene with Damien and Alex and Derek and Casey, and the scene with just Dane and Derek. :) **

**Be sure to leave us a review!**


	17. Chapter 17: Summer Lovin'

**AN: Hey everyone! Sorry for the long wait for this chapter! School just started and we've both been really busy! The scene in the beginning and the scene at the end were written by me and the scenes in the middle were written by Helen! Thank you all so much for all of the reviews and support. It means the world to us that you would like our OCs just as much as we do! If you want to know more about them you can visit our tumblr page which is called forgoodfic dot tumblr dot com!**

**Chapter 17: Summer Lovin'**

"You guys can just throw your bags and stuff over there for now until we figure out how we're going to divide up the rooms." Damien leaned against the railing of a large white house. The breeze blew around, making his hair fly in every direction.

The five teenagers set their bags down next to a leafy plant on the wooden patio and sat down carefully on the porch furniture.

Alex kept his camera around his neck and snapped a picture of Dane as he flopped down on his lap.

"You're already starting?" groaned Dane, smiling despite his apparent annoyance. Alex grinned cheekily and clicked the camera again. He wrapped an arm around Dane's middle and rested his head against the smaller boy's shoulder.

"I just want to get as many pictures of you this summer as I can." He planted a kiss on Dane's cheek, which was greeted by a loud groan of protest from the steps of the porch.

"Could you please keep that behind closed doors? No one wants to see that, trust me." A short, muscular brunette boy with a pair of shiny glasses and a scowl painted on his face trudged up the stairs.

Dane tensed under Alex's hold. "If you don't like it, Bryce, you shouldn't have come," he said.

His brother, younger by two years, didn't respond. He scowled and plopped down on a lawn chair next to Lucie, who was staring wide eyed as the scene unfolded.

"They aren't bothering anyone," Damien snapped, running a hand through his hair. Bryce shrugged, kicking his feet up so that they hung over the edge of the chair.

"They bother_me_." He eyed Damien contemptuously over the top of his sunglasses, as though looking at someone who was four feet tall, and not someone who was easily over a foot taller than him.

Alex frowned, tightening his hold on Dane's waist, and whispered something that none of the others could quite make out in his ear. Dane bit his lip to cover his laughter and Bryan scoffed as though he had just witnessed the abuse of an animal.

"And you can go home at any time. I did invite you here. I can call your dad to take you home," Damien added.

"You wouldn't though. I_am_practically your cousin." He leaned back in his chair, stretching out his body and positioning both of his arms behind his head leisurely. "And besides," he lifted his glasses up so that his blue eyes blazed in the sunlight. "-I can't stand to be away from my big brother."

"That's bullshit." Dane leaned back into Alex's embrace and crossed his arms over his chest. Bryce opened his mouth to say something when he was interrupted by a small voice that cut through the tense air like a harp at a death metal concert.

"Maybe we should focus on who's going to sleep where rather than sitting here and fighting." Lucie shifted uncomfortably in her chair and crossed her leg over her thigh. Damien let out a sigh of relief and nodded appreciatively.

"That might be a good idea." He nodded, sitting down on the edge of one of the wicker couches. "So I was thinking that Alex and Lucie would share a room, since you two are siblings, and then Dane and I would share a room and Bryce gets his own room."

"Sounds good to me," commented Lucie. Alex and Dane were laughing about something completely unrelated, and Bryce couldn't be bothered to do much of anything other than studying Lucie from his place on the chair.

"So you're Lucie right?" he asked, leaning forward in his chair. His eyes were not visible under his glasses, so Lucie couldn't tell exactly where he was looking, which made her a bit uneasy.

"Uh, yeah. That's me." She smiled in Bryce's direction, a smile that one might give to a hobo that they passed on the street, and then continued swiftly on their way to the McDonalds down the block.

Bryce frowned for a moment, and then recovered, flashing his most winning smile in Lucie's direction.

"Well Dane's told me_a lot_about you, but he never mentioned that your hair was so pretty." He examined her over his glasses and winked. Lucie tensed in her seat, mouth slightly agape.

"Dude!" Damien slid into the empty space on the wicker couch next to Lucie, glaring daggers at Bryce. "Do you have a filter or do you just say whatever the hell you feel like?"

Bryce pushed his glasses back into place and made his way across the porch to pick up his bag. Lucie sighed in relief and mouthed 'thank you' to Damien.

"Whatever. I'm going inside." He lifted his large duffel bag swiftly and made his way toward the door. When he had one foot across the threshold, he turned back, resting one hand on the molding. "But Lucie, if you're lonely later tonight when Dane kicks you out of your room to sneak over with Alex, you can always knock on my door."

"Uh. Yeah." Lucie didn't really know what to say so she decided to appear overly interested in a particularly large potted plant next to the stairs so that Bryce wouldn't engage in further conversation.

When Bryce left everyone visibly relaxed.

"Sorry about that, Lucie." Dane groaned, running a hand through his hair. "He always does that."

Alex laughed and Dane felt his stomach vibrate.

"Did you see her face?" He threw his head back and continued to laugh until his and Lucie's faces were an equal shade of red.

"Stop it." Damien rolled his eyes and moved to pick up his own bags. Alex scowled childishly and Dane laughed.

"I thought it was funny," he offered, pecking Alex on the cheek. Lucie smiled to herself and went to get her own bag, which Damien lifted for her.

"We'll leave you two alone," Lucie said, and she and Damien left the porch, not that either Dane or Alex particularly noticed. They were both far off in their own little world.

* * *

><p>Alex grabbed Dane around the middle and threw him headfirst into the oncoming wave, laughing. Dane came up spluttering and smiling, and he threw himself into Alex and they both toppled into the water. Once they'd both come up, they just looked at each other, water dripping off their faces, their bodies pressed together in the water. Dane was grinning lopsidedly, and Alex wanted a picture.<p>

So he grabbed Dane's hand and pulled him out of the water, dragging him along the beach, dripping wet and both grinning ear to ear.

The sun beat down on them and the sky was a bright blue. A seagull landed nearby and began to peck at a French fry that had been tossed onto the sand.

Alex wiped his hands off on his Power Rangers towel and picked up his camera. He aimed it at Dane, who just laughed and let Alex take the picture. When Alex was done and had hung the camera around his neck, Dane grabbed both of the taller boy's hands and pulled him back toward the surf.

"I can't go in the water with my camera!" Alex exclaimed.

"I know," Dane replied, stopping at the edge of the water. "That's why we're just going to walk. And let our feet get wet. And let that really annoying stingy thing happen to our calves. You know where it stings? I hate that."

"Then why would you want to let it happen?" Alex asked, letting one of his hands fall and the other cling to Dane's as they turned and started to walk along the waterline.

"Because I like you and I want to spend more time with you and less time with water in my nose." Dane grinned at his boyfriend and Alex smiled too and snapped a picture with his free hand.

They stepped around a little kid who was staring up at them in that way that kids at the beach do, with the big eyes and the 'will you please play with me?' look on their face.

Dane glanced back at him, biting his lip, and Alex squeezed his hand. "You're mine for right now."

"How did you know what I was thinking?"

"I always know what you're thinking," Alex said like it was obvious.

Then another couple walked by, a girl scantily clad in her tiny, tiny bikini and a boy with bleach blond tousled surfer hair. They eyed Dane and Alex and their intertwined hands, and turned to each other looking disgusted.

After they passed, Dane swore he heard the girl mutter under her breath, "Fags."

Alex's grip on Dane's hand tightened and Dane looked out at the water and not at Alex. Alex stopped and forced Dane to stop too and turn toward him.

"Hey," Alex said softly, gently pulling Dane's chin up so that the shorter boy was looking at him. "Hey, dude, you okay?"

Dane nodded but his gaze was traveling toward the rude couple, continuing their walk.

"No you're not," Alex said decidedly, squeezing Dane's hand again. He leaned in close and Dane closed the distance between them, and they kissed, soft and sweet, the taste of salt water in both of their mouths, the smell of the ocean in their nostrils. Dane reached up and tangled his free hand in Alex's hair, and Alex rubbed the small of Dane's back soothingly.

When they pulled away again, Alex said softly, "Remember what the therapist says…"

Dane nodded and bit his lip.

"I love you," Alex said, and then without warning he brought the camera off his neck and flung it into the dry sand, and scooped Dane up and carried him kicking and screaming into the waves.

* * *

><p>Lucie's phone rang just as Dane slipped into the bedroom she shared with Alex. Rolling her eyes, she pulled it out of her pocket as Dane looked at her with raised eyebrows, as if asking permission.<p>

She waved her hand in a 'yeah yeah whatever' gesture and quickly left the room. She walked down the familiar hallway, pulling her phone from her pocket as she did.

It was Luke. She smiled a little and put it up to her ear.

"Hey," she said, opening the sliding door onto the balcony.

"Hello," Luke said, his voice sounding distant. It was. An ocean is a big place. Lucie felt so far away from him right now, and she leaned against the railing and watched the rolling blackness of the water, trying to figure out why she didn't feel very sad about the distance.

"How are you?" she asked, hating herself the moment the words came out of her mouth. 'How are you?' Really? Might as well just hang up now before the conversation gets any more boring.

Luke laughed hesitantly. "I'm good." He didn't give her time to come up with an equally scripted response before saying, "Look, I have to talk to you about something."

Lucie watched as a wave crashed on the beach a few hundred yards away. "Okay."

"I've been, er, thinking…"

"You think we should break up," Lucie said matter-of-factly.

"Well…I…"

"It's okay, I've been, um…" She fingered the pieces of wood making up the railing. "I've been thinking the same thing."

Luke breathed a sigh of relief. "Right."

"It's just not…there." She motioned with her hand, trying to convey what exactly 'it' was and wondering why it wasn't 'there.'

"Right," he said again.

"But I still want to be friends!"

Luke laughed softly. "Me too. Let's actually try, then, shall we?"

"Yeah, let's go against the grain." Lucie smiled at the ocean, pitching and roaring in the dark. "So um, we're gonna be friends."

"Yes."

"Good."

A silence fell.

Lucie laughed. "Well so far this is a pretty awkward friendship."

"I think we should hang up and try again another day."

"Okay." Lucie turned around and boosted herself up so she was sitting on the railing. "Uh, good-bye?"

"Yeah, good-bye."

They hung up.

Lucie looked at her phone for awhile, contemplating its silverness, and looking at the buttons with which she'd typed so many text messages to Luke.

After she'd thought about this for awhile, she hopped down off the railing, feeling light. She opened the sliding door and crept inside, down the hallway, and stopped at her door.

She heard whispers from inside, and looked at the light oak wood of the door with a little smile on her face.

She turned and, on an impulse, opened Damien's door instead.

She realized about half a second too late that she should've knocked, but it was too late so she just went in.

Damien was lying on his bed staring at the ceiling. He turned his head when she came in, not surprised to see her.

"Well this is depressing," she commented. "I'd hoped I would scare you."

"You don't know that you didn't," he said, sitting up on his elbows. "Maybe I just peed myself, you never know."

She nodded. "May I come in?"

"You're already in."

"May I come further in?"

"Yes."

She closed the door softly behind her.

"Kicked out of your own room by a certain pair of boys?"

She laughed. "Actually, I left willingly."

Damien nodded. "That's sensible."

"Can I hang out here for awhile or do you have grand plans for this evening?"

"You can hang for awhile." He moved over on the bed and she sat down on the edge.

"Luke and I broke up," she blurted out before she thought about it.

Damien blinked in surprise. "Just now?"

"Literally like five minutes ago."

He just looked at her for a moment, trying to figure out something to say. His mouth formed around words but nothing came out.

"I'm not upset," she offered.

He raised a challenging eyebrow.

"Really. I mean, he was nice and he was good to me and stuff but…it wasn't there." She waved her hands around again, still not entirely certain what 'it' was and where 'it' went.

"It?"

"I don't know."

"Like, chemistry, right? Connection? It's just like…" He looked down at his hands. "It's just like with Alice. I felt something. Like this connection. I guess it just wasn't…"

"Two-sided?"

"I was going to say 'real.'"

"It was though." Lucie cupped her hand over one of Damien's. "It was real. For the whole time you were together. But it disappeared and now…you're just feeling an echo."

Damien looked at her with wonder in his eyes. "How the hell are you so smart?"

She shrugged, laughing. "I'm not really."

"How are you laughing though? How can you just be so…unaffected? You and your boyfriend just broke up, Luce!" He was looking at her with pleading eyes, begging her to prove to him that he wasn't just being stupid, still missing and wanting Alice.

"Damien, you and Alice were way, way, way different than me and Luke. I mean yeah, we got along but we were never really in love and I kind of knew that the whole time." She looked into his eyes, brown and green, and smiled. "But you and Alice…you loved each other. You were so damn happy and in love it hurt. So it's okay to be sad for longer than five minutes." She laughed. "In fact, I feel like crap for not feeling sad about it."

"Well you just said you weren't in love. There's no reason to be sad for losing love if you didn't have it there to lose," Damien said sensibly.

Lucie nodded and then looked around the room. "Can we play the book game?"

"Sure."

Lucie stood up and walked over to the bookshelf full of the books Damien kept there for summer reading. "Here." She tossed him one and picked up another for herself. "Okay, page 32, line 3, word 4."

Damien cursed. "'It.' Dammit."

"'Its!'" Lucie exclaimed. "Like possessive its! With no apostrophe. I win, mine's a letter longer!"

"That's a really funny coincidence," Damien said with only a hint of actual humor, slamming his book shut.

They grinned at each other for a moment before Lucie said, "Okay, page 64, line 17, word 8."

* * *

><p>"So then after the snowman had traveled all the way to meet his cousin the sand man in Miami, he had melted in a puddle and evaporated before he even hit the beach." Dane scanned each of the people present at the table before dramatically finishing, "The end."<p>

"Wow Daners," began Alex, taking a fry from his plate and biting down on it with reckless abandon, "That one wasn't as depressing as it could have been."

"I know! I considered making the sand man actually step on the puddle, but I didn't think you guys could handle that kind of depression while on a vacation." He squeezed the ketchup bottle onto his plate and then grabbed Alex's hand under the table.

Bryce was unamused. He bit down on his cheeseburger as though he couldn't stand the taste of it, and chewed loudly.

"I don't know why you always think up stupid stories like that. No one likes them."

"I like them." Alex responded almost instantly, sending a challenging smirk in Bryce's direction while tightening his grip on Dane's hand under the table.

"I do too." Damien smiled in Dane's direction, and was followed by Lucie, who shared the same sentiment.

"Well no one else does," Bryce mumbled begrudgingly. The atmosphere in the room remained tense, the only sound that could be heard was the obnoxious sounds of Bryce's teeth chomping on his food.

"It was really nice out today," offered Lucie after a few minutes of awkward silence stretched on. "The water was really warm."

"Yeah and there weren't many annoying people crowding the water like there always are," said Damien, waving a fry around. "You know what I mean? Like those annoying couples where the girl has on this skimpy bikini and the guy's so obviously trying to get laid, and they just look at everyone like they're total shit."Dane physically tensed, and Alex put a hand on his shoulder comfortingly.

"Don't think about it," he whispered, and Dane nodded absentmindedly, sending a half smile over in his direction.

"I didn't notice because I was too busy making out with that hot blonde girl, Alexis." Bryce smiled an accomplished smile, but no one was really listening to him. He frowned and pulled his chair out from the table with a squeak. "I'm going to bed!" he shouted loudly, and Lucie turned around in her chair.

"Goodnight!" She smiled as sincerely as she could. Even though Bryce was obnoxious, she did feel a little bad that nobody was paying attention to him.

He looked taken aback and grinned wickedly at Dane, as though he had won some sort of unspoken contest.

"Goodnight, Lucie." And with that, He left the room, pounding up the steps with several loud and well timed thumps.


	18. Chapter 18: Ghosts

**Hello everyone! Thank you all so much for being patient. We're really sorry about the wait for this chapter, but life came around and slapped us upside the heads with schoolwork and other crap. We'll try to make the updates more frequent from now on but we can't really make any promises and we're sorry.**

**So here's chapter 18. Caitlin (persephonesmelody on and persephonesweasley on tumblr) wrote the two scenes with Damien and Alice (and Lucie, in the first one), and Helen (I'mJustCrazyEnough17 on and flightofdeathfrench on tumblr) wrote the Dane and Bryce scene and the two Dalex scenes (with Ryan and Maddie, in the first one).**

**Chapter 18: Ghosts**

Damien swung open the door to Dalton Academy, already being shoved to the side by one of the new freshmen boys. He rolled his eyes and continued to walk down the hallway, muttering a small, "No problem" to the boy that was obviously distressed by bumping into a junior on the first day of school.

He scanned the hallway for anyone that he might recognize. Dane had left him to walk to class by himself today because he wanted to walk with Alex alone. The halls were filled with couples making out, and friends talking about their summer vacations. Damien's chest tightened, and he adjusted his messenger bag over his shoulder so that he looked like he actually had something to do besides watch other people talk to their friends.

He noticed Dane and Alex talking on the other side of the hallway, and was about to make his way over to them when he felt a tap on one of his shoulders. He whirled around to see who was behind him, but there was no one there. He heard a laugh from his opposite shoulder, and turned to see Lucie standing next to him with a large grin on her face, rather like a child that had just gotten away with stealing a cookie from the cookie jar.

"I hate when people do that!" Damien groaned, though a small smile made its way onto his features.

"Your face!" Lucie giggled, the sound rather like a little elf. She placed her hand on her stomach and fell backward into one of the lockers, shutting her eyes in jubilation. "You were so confused!"

Damien found himself unable to keep a straight face watching her. He bit his lip to stop from laughing and pursed his lips.

"It was not that funny!" He protested, crossing an arm over his chest in mock irritation.

When Lucie was finished laughing, she straightened up and put two hands on the straps of her book bag, looking up at Damien.

"Alright, fine, it wasn't that funny."

"Thank you!" Damien laughed and then leaned against the locker that Lucie was standing next to.

"I figured you would need me, since it's couple central over there." She pointed to Dane and Alex with her thumb, feigning disgust. She laughed, shaking her head. "I'm an expert at being the third wheel, after all. It used to be me and Dane last year."

Damien looked confused for a moment before the realization struck him. He shouldn't have, but he felt a dull pain in his chest. He and Alice had been broken up for months, in fact, she had barely contacted him from her eating disorder treatment center. Yet he couldn't help but still feel worried about her. When you were in love with someone for so long, you didn't just forget them over night. They stuck with you for the rest of your life in one way or another.

"You mean with me and Alice, right?" He laughed to distract himself from his inner conflict. He hoped that Lucie didn't notice.

She did.

She frowned and bit her lip, as though only just realizing what kinds of emotions her words had stirred up. She placed a hand on Damien's forearm, a soft touch that could barely be felt, but spoke everything that needed to be said.

Damien looked down at Lucie, an unspoken thank you written in his green eyes. She removed her hand and began busying herself with examining the end of one of her curls.

He grinned, watching Lucie engage in her nervous habit, and opened his mouth to say something, when someone down the hallway caught his eye.

He sucked in a breath, eyes widening to a degree that could not be considered healthy. Lucie looked up when she heard Damien shift position and followed his gaze.

"What are you-" She stopped herself, grin falling off of her face, her mouth open in complete shock. "That isn't..."

A pair of skyscraper heels, attached to a pair of long, well defined legs, made their way over to the pair of friends that were still frozen in shock.

"Alice?" Damien asked, but didn't move from his statue-like state.

She smirked, her eyebrow quirking in an oh-so-familiar fashion, that almost made him fall over. He had forgotten what it was like to be near her.

"Damien," she said, letting the last syllable roll off of her tongue. "It's been a while, huh?"

He nodded, unsure of what else to say. He was absolutely mesmerized by_different_she looked, and by how the_same_she was. He wondered how it was possible for someone to be so familiar, yet such a stranger at the same time.

"You look great," he offered, scanning her up and down. She really did look great. Her once chicken thin legs were now defined, and her blazer that had once hung off her body was now tightly fitted so that every one of her new curves was accentuated.

"I know." She licked one of her lips and shifted her eyes to Lucie. "I couldn't wait to see you again, Damien."

Damien opened his mouth to speak, but Lucie interrupted him.

"I didn't know you were coming back so soon, Alice." She smiled, though she felt her stomach twist into knots the way she always used to when Alice was around. She had never felt so small in someone's presence as she did in Alice's.

Alice's smile faltered for a second, an action that didn't go unnoticed by Lucie or Damien. She swallowed and then spoke.

"They let me out early. I didn't really have that much of a problem." She said it like a challenge, and Lucie recoiled herself, playing with one of her curls yet again.

Damien didn't buy the statement for a second, but he didn't want to be on Alice's bad side any more than he already was, so he nodded.

"Well that's good, Alice, I'm happy for you."

She smiled, a smile like a snake going in for the kill.

"Thank you, Damien." She said, eyes fluttering, "You know, I could really use somebody to walk me to class." She stole another glance at Lucie, but she was still busy playing with her hair, and didn't notice.

Damien felt the air around him freeze, he felt his heart clench, and his palms begin to sweat. It was all too much for him. There she was, the girl that he had been in love with for four years of his life. The girl that had broken his heart, and left him to wonder if she was even alive. And she was back acting as though nothing had ever happened.

"I..." He broke the frozen air, mind still operating at half speed. He shifted his gaze from Alice, who was becoming impatient despite her unusually welcoming smile, and Lucie who was now looking everywhere but at Alice. "I would love to, Alice," Alice's lips twisted into a grin, opening her mouth to speak, before Damien finished, "But I was going to walk to class with Lucie, and I'd hate to leave her all alone."

Lucie blinked, acting as though she hadn't just heard what Damien had said, and continued to study a pair of freshmen trying to open their lockers.

"Oh." Alice's head quirked to the side, smiling wider in the way that she always did when something upset her. For a moment, Damien wanted to take it back, and say that he would walk with her to class, but the damage was already done. "Well I'll see you later, Damien." And she flounced off down the hallway in a flash, leaving Damien and Lucie behind to wonder what had just happened.

"You didn't have to do that," Lucie spoke finally.

"I know," said Damien, "I wanted to. Now come on." He grabbed Lucie's hand and began pulling her toward their homeroom. "The bell's going to ring in a second. Wouldn't want to be late on the first day."

* * *

><p>Bryce knocked on Dane's door, which was standing ajar. He couldn't hear any voices coming from the room so he figured Damien wasn't there or else he and Dane would be talking, probably about something stupid and boring like the freaking Warblers.<p>

"Come in," Dane said, his voice slightly muffled.

Bryce opened the door and stood there, waiting, a smirk on his face as his brown eyes, identical in color to Dane's, took in the room. Dane's side was all neat and everything was unpacked and in its place, while Damien's suitcase had thrown up all over the other side of the room. Dane was lying facedown on his bed, his phone in his hand, screen black.

"Your pillow is fine, Dane," Bryce said, leaning against the doorframe. "You don't need to clean it any more, I'm sure you've gotten all the germs off."

Dane heaved a sigh at hearing his brother's voice and sat up, looking resigned. "What the hell do you want, Bryce?"

"Nothing! I just wanted to come say hi!" Bryce grinned and stepped into the room, closing the door behind him.

"Well hi." Dane pushed open his phone and pretended to be typing on it.

"How are you?" Bryce asked, crossing the room to sit beside Dane on his bed.

"Excuse me but I don't think I invited you in," Dane said rudely, looking up at Bryce and glaring at his younger brother.

"It's my school now too, Dane," Bryce said. "I can go wherever I want."

"Not other students' rooms."

"You sneak into Alex's room all the time."

"That's different. He actually _wants_ me there."

Bryce rolled his eyes. "You sure?"

"Yes," Dane said firmly, though there was a flicker of uncertainty hidden underneath. "Now get out."

"I just wanted to say hi to my big brother." Bryce faked a pout.

"No you didn't, you wanted to torment your big brother. Now get."

"But…"

"It's my room, Bryce. Leave it."

"Fine." Bryce stood up, crossing his arms over his chest. "But I'll tell Mom and Dad that you wouldn't talk to me and were making me feel unwelcome in my new learning environment." _Even though they'll probably take your side,_ he thought.

"Shut up." Dane pointed to the door, a stern look on his face.

"It's not like I even wanted to talk to you."

Dane didn't say anything, just kept his arm extended and his finger leading to the door.

Bryce had nothing else to say, so he turned and walked out of the room with as much dignity as he could muster.

Dane fell back onto his bed as the door closed and stared at his phone, waiting for a text from Alex so that he could whine about Bryce without feeling needy.

He felt so ridiculously pathetic. Bryce was just his kid brother, why did he have to make him feel like shit all the time?

_Ten Years Earlier_

_Dane grinned as he whooshed through the air, the breeze hitting his face and making his eyes water. The autumn leaves rustled in the trees above, and the chains of the swing rattled. The swingset creaked as Dane reached the level of the bar and began his descent, still smiling. He screamed because he wanted to, and the swingset creaked again as he reached bar level on the other side._

_Only this time, it did more than creak._

_It cracked._

_And the bar broke._

_And the entire thing came crashing down._

_This time Dane didn't scream because he wanted to, he screamed because he was flying through the air in freefall and landing on the ground with a thud. He heard the bones in his leg crack and he fell silent in wonder._

_Had he just fallen off the swingset? And had he broken his leg?_

_Bryce was standing there, looking on in shock, as tears sprung up in Dane's eyes and he looked at his little brother._

"_Get Daddy!" Dane exclaimed, his voice high-pitched and scared._

"_But…" Bryce stuck his thumb in his mouth and sucked._

"_Stop it and get Daddy!" Dane said again, pleading._

_Bryce turned reluctantly and went inside to get his daddy. Somehow, even though he was only four, he knew that if he got his daddy then his daddy would pay more attention to Dane than he would to Bryce. And that made Bryce angry._

_But he got his daddy anyway because Dane told him to._

* * *

><p>Damien jogged up next to Alice, who was making her way swiftly down the hallway to the lunchroom. "We need to talk."<p>

She turned on her heels, making a loud squeak against the tiled floor. Her eyes shifted uncomfortably for a moment, and then she grinned in the insincere way that she had all day.

"About?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

He bit his lip. In his mind, talking to Alice was so much easier than it actually was. He felt all the words make their way up the highway to his vocal chords, only to be blocked by a high pay toll at his mouth.

"I haven't talked to you in months. You never answered my calls, or my texts. I had no way of knowing whether or not you were okay." He let the words stumble off his lips. He didn't think about them, he just spoke. "I was worried about you!" He rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably, scanning her eyes for any sign of understanding.

She opened her mouth, cheeks slightly blushed, and eyes softened for a moment. Damien let out a sigh of relief. He had missed those eyes.

"Why would you be worried about me? I was fine." Then any sign of humanity that had been visible in her expression disappeared immediately from her features. "Shouldn't you be off with Lucie anyway?"

Damien felt as though he had just been put on trial for a crime that he didn't commit. He moved in front of Alice and stopped her frown walking away.

"That has nothing to do with this. Lucie and I are friends. I'm allowed to be friends with her even if you aren't."

Alice moved to the left to step out of his path, but he blocked her again.

"Don't act like I was the one who broke your heart."

Alice didn't say anything, but he saw the way that her cheeks flared and he knew that he had gone too far.

"You're right. You were just the one that got cozy with my ex-best friend while I was at a rehab center." Her voice was venomous, poisoning the air around them.

Damien felt the air being taken from his lungs, he couldn't speak. If he had found it difficult to before, it was now absolutely impossible.

"I thought you would at least be happy to see me when I came back, but it looks like everyone's just forgotten about me altogether." She pushed her way past Damien, letting her hair fall uncharacteristically around her face.

"Alice! Wait." Once he had regained his composure he ran up beside her, grabbing her hand to stop her from walking away. "I'm sorry! I should have done more, but what else could I do for you? I called you almost every day and you never answered me. I wanted to visit you, to help you through everything, but you didn't want my help. And now you expect me to act like nothing's ever happened!" His voice cracked and he looked down, lowering his voice once he noticed people staring at them. "I can't do that."

She yanked her hand from his grasp, leaving a cold feeling in Damien's hand like frostbite.

"Everyone's moved on without me," she said, as though only just realizing this herself. "And it's time for me to move on too." She nodded and then walked into the girls bathroom, leaving Damien alone in the hallway yet again.

* * *

><p>Alex slid into the seat next to Dane, joining him at the empty table (Lucie and Damien were working on an assignment they had to do together), setting his tray down and immediately scooping pasta into his mouth. "I missed school dinners," he said, sighing. "I mean, my dad can <em>kind of<em> cook but usually my papa has to cook because my dad had shows like all summer long around dinner time." He rolled his eyes and ate another mouthful of pasta.

"But at least you had good dinners every Wednesday," Maddie said from across the table.

Alex raised his eyebrows. "Um…sure."

"Hey!" Maddie kicked him under the table. "You did! What about that rigatoni that I made? You said it was like the best dinner you ever had."

"Uh…nope, not ringing a bell." Alex licked his spoon calmly.

"Shut up."

"Hey guys!" Ryan came running up to the table and sat down. "They have pistachio ice cream now!"

Alex blanched. "EW! It's following me!" he exclaimed dramatically.

"Seriously, they have it?" Maddie laughed. "Did you get me any?"

"Yep." Ryan handed her a dish of pistachio ice cream. "There ya go."

Alex made a gagging motion. "This is why I got the chocolate ice cream every time. Because pistachio makes me want to barf."

"But the homeless guy looked so sad!" Maddie said. "And I thought that maybe I'd grow to like it. I said that. Remember, I said that? And I was totally right."

Ryan rolled his eyes. "We know you said that Maddie."

"We were _there_," Alex said in a fake-annoyed voice.

Dane coughed involuntarily and wished that he hadn't because everyone looked at him. "Sorry," he said quietly, though he had no reason to apologize.

"So Dane," Maddie said, leaning closer. "How was your summer?"

"Boring." Dane drummed his fingers against the table. He wasn't hungry. When everyone continued to look at him, waiting for elaboration, he added, "Like _really_ boring. No pistachio ice cream or homeless men anywhere in sight."

They laughed and Maddie turned to Ryan to ask him a question about her video project.

Dane looked down and stirred his own pasta, looking at it and not even considering eating it. He felt a hand on his arm and looked up to see Alex looking at him in concern.

"Are you okay, Daners?" he asked.

"Oh, yeah. I'm just not hungry."

"But…" Alex's grey eyes took in Dane's full plate. "But you're always hungry, hon. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah! I'm fine." Dane worked his mouth into a smile.

"But…" Alex bit his lip, trying to figure out if he should approach the problem or just let Dane be. He decided to approach it. He dropped his voice to a whisper. "But you know whenever you get really really depressed about something you don't eat."

"I'm just not hungry, okay?" Dane said fiercely, pulling his arm free and standing up. "Just eat, okay Alex? Just eat your own food and don't worry about mine."

He grabbed his tray and walked away, leaving Alex to look at Maddie and Ryan with raised eyebrows.

"Well aren't you going to follow him?" Maddie asked after a moment of silence.

"I don't know, he's been really distant since we got back," Alex said, now stirring around his own pasta. "I don't know if he really…_wants_ to talk to me."

"Well I think he does, how could he not?" Ryan looked at Alex levelly. "You need to go make sure everything's okay."

Alex bit his lip and watched Dane walk out of the cafeteria. "I think…I don't know what to do though. I can't help him or anything."

Maddie and Ryan just looked at each other and shook their heads in an 'our-friend-is-an-idiot' way.

"I'll talk to him after dinner," Alex said definitely. "He'll be fine."

* * *

><p>"Hey, Daners." Alex opened the door as he said this and peeked into Dane's room where Damien and Dane were. Damien was typing on his computer and Dane was scribbling in a notebook.<p>

They both looked up, and then they both looked back down at what they were doing.

"Do you want to go on a walk with me?" Alex asked, rubbing his arm. He'd changed out of his uniform into jeans and a plain white t-shirt because it was way too hot to wear the blazer.

"I'm busy," Dane said, scribbling extra-hard.

"No you aren't." Alex stepped closer and Dane flinched, looking up at him and holding the notebook to his chest protectively. "Come on, come with me."

"I don't want to," Dane said stubbornly.

"I don't care, you're coming."

Alex stood there with his arms crossed over his chest, and Dane held out for about three seconds before sighing, closing the notebook, and standing up. "Fine."

"Bring him back in one piece," Damien said jokingly, but it wasn't funny and he realized it right after he said it.

Alex took Dane's hand and held it tight as they walked out of the room, down the hall, down the stairs, and out the door of Stuart House.

It was a warm night, a slight breeze blowing through the trees. Lamps lit the way along the walkways, and students walked past, some taking a stroll through the grounds, enjoying the night, some rushing to the library because they hadn't realized how large the workload on the first day of school would be.

Alex took Dane around behind Stuart House, off the path and into a dark area where they would have more privacy.

"Hey dude," Alex said softly, taking Dane's other hand so that Dane had to face him. "You're not okay, alright? Don't tell me you are."

Dane didn't say anything.

"What's wrong? Is it Bryce? Is it me?"

"It's not you," Dane said quickly.

"So it's Bryce," Alex said, nodding. "I get it."

"No you don't," Dane mumbled, looking down at his shoes.

"Yes I do," Alex argued. "I've met Bryce."

"Well you're not his brother," Dane said, now studying the grass, which was a dark green color around his converse.

"Well no…" Alex paused. "Look at me, this isn't going to work if you don't look at me."

Dane didn't lift his head.

Alex bent down so he was under Dane and in his vision. "Better?"

Dane smiled a little. "No."

Alex stood back up and resigned himself to the fact that Dane wasn't going to look at him. "Okay babe, this is a push and pull, it takes two to tango, we can't have this conversation when I'm the only one offering anything."

"I'm not going to offer anything," Dane said in a monotone.

"And why not? What did Bryce do?"

"Nothing," Dane said, still in a monotone.

"Bullshit. Tell me."

"Nothing!"

"Did you see him today?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"And it was fine."

"Well obviously it wasn't."

"I'm _fine_."

"And I'm from Mars."

"Shut up."

"No."

"I'll walk away then."

"You can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm your boyfriend and if you walk away from me it'll send the wrong signal."

Dane clenched his jaw. "Fine. But I'm not going to talk about it."

"Why not? Why would it be so bad to talk about it?"

_Because if I talked about it you'd know what a horrible brother I am, and you'd know why I cut myself again today even though I promised you I wouldn't, not to mention my mom and dad have been paying shitloads of money for therapy and I'm supposed to be better by now, and if you knew I hurt myself over something so fucking stupid you'd know what a screw-up I am, and you'd be disappointed in me, and I don't want you to be any more disappointed than you already are._

Dane looked up at Alex and mustered a smile, the best smile he could. "I'm just upset that he's here now."

Alex looked at Dane suspiciously. "Dane…You're never _just_ upset. Remember?"

"Well I'm fine, just a little upset."

"But Daners…you have depression."

"I know that," Dane snapped. "You think I don't fucking know that?"

"Shh, hey, calm down." Alex let go of Dane's hands so he could wrap the shorter boy into a hug. "If you're just upset that's okay, if you're more than upset that's perfectly fine too."

Dane sighed into Alex's chest and after a moment, wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and hugged him back.


	19. Chapter 19: The Art Hall

**AN: So this is an extra EXTRA EXTRA long Halloween chapter before NaNoWriMo. The scenes will be credited at the end of the chapter as to not give away too much.**

**IMPORTANT NOTICE MUST READ: This is a parody of Lionphantom's Dalton's House of Horror, and all credit for that goes to her and her fabulous fanfiction, which we both love very much.**

**Also another important note, this chapter mentiones the character death in Dalton, and we're just being aloof about who died because we obviously don't know yet. **

**Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, and we hope that you continue to do so, and check out our tumblr page, forgoodfic dot tumblr dot com (obviously replace the 'dots' with . XD) **

**And now, ON TO THE CHAPTER.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 19: The Art Hall<strong>

"So what are you going as to the Halloween lock-in, Luce?" Damien asked, taking a bite of his apple as the blonde set her tray down next to his.

She opened her mouth to speak, before Alex slid in to the seat across from Damien.

"She's probably going as a nurse, again." He paused, folding his pizza in half and taking a bite. "She's been a nurse every year for Halloween since she was eight."

Lucie glared at Alex as she sifted through her backpack to find her hand wipes.

"That's not true!" she argued, finally pulling the bag of wipes from their place. "I was Pocahontas that one year, remember?"

Alex shrugged, taking a very large bit of his pizza, and mumbling something incoherently, and Lucie groaned, throwing a few of the napkins from her tray onto Alex's.

"Wipe your mouth. That's disgusting."

Damien laughed, watching the scene unfold before him. It was always times like these when he wished that he had a sibling to make memories with. The only person that he had growing up was Dane, and they didn't even live in the same state.

"Pocahontas, huh?"

Lucie's face turned the color of his apple.

"She was my favorite princess, okay?" She grinned, despite herself, shaking her head. "I'm actually going as an angel this year." She threw a look in her brother's direction as though to say, 'I told you so', which was greeted by Alex's tongue, before Dane slid into the seat next to him and stole his attention.

"So what about you?" She turned toward Damien with interest once Alex had turned away."What are you going as?"

He smiled, as though he was hoping she would ask.

"Grant from Something Damaged." He smirked to himself, as though it was the most clever idea in the world, and took a sip of his water. "I've been told I'm his spitting image."

Lucie raised an eyebrow, and grinned, shaking her head as though she had expected as much. She examined Damien long and hard and then responded.

"I don't see it."

"Do I detect sarcasm?" Damien leaned back in his chair, swishing his water around.

Lucie stabbed a fork into her salad, smirking. "No. Not at all." She caught his eye and they both ended up laughing.

"Well I think our Halloween costumes top both of yours," said Dane, casting a mischievous glance in Alex's direction.

"We're going as Draco and Harry," Alex finished for him. "And obviously nothing tops Drarry."

"Obviously," Damien mocked, earning glares from both boys across the table.

"Could you two be any more gay?"

The table collectively groaned under their breath.

"Hey, Bryce." Lucie smiled, a fake smile that was complimented by her overly chipper voice. Everyone at the table was thankful for Lucie's kindness, because if it weren't for her, one of them would have to talk to Bryce.

He slid into the seat next to Lucie, on the opposite side of Damien.

"Oh, I'm sorry, but who do you have to dress up with on Halloween, Bryce?" Alex put a hand to his ear, leaning in to hear Bryce's answer. He was greeted with silence."That's what I thought." He leaned back in his chair, satisfied.

"I could get a date if I really wanted one." Bryce mumbled, stirring around his salad. "Girls are just so clingy and I'd rather have my freedom."

Dane and Alex exchanged a look.

"So!" Lucie clapped her hands together loudly, causing everyone at the table to look up. "What are you going as, Bryce?"

Bryce looked up, surprised, either from the fact that he was being asked at all, or that Lucie had spoken to him directly.

"A baseball player."

"But you_ are_ a baseball player," commented Damien, "You can't go as one too. That's like cheating."

"So what?" He shrugged, rolling his eyes, "What are you going as? Grant? Your dad _is _Grant. That's cheating."

Damien leaned over across the table, so that he could see Bryce around Lucie.

"It's more creative than a baseball player!"

Lucie pushed her chair back so that she wasn't in the direct line of fire between Bryce and Damien, and then waved to Maddie and Ryan, who pulled up a chair next to Alex.

"What are they fighting about this time?" asked Ryan, leaning forward, interested.

Maddie pulled out her camera and zoomed in so that she could switch between capturing Bryce and Damien in close up shots whenever they spoke, and catching Lucie in the middle as she turned the camera.

"The usual," Lucie groaned, shaking her head, mouthing 'boys.' Maddie caught it on camera and laughed.

"This is gold." She leaned over so that half her body was on the table, and Ryan pulled her back, shaking his head.

"You are not coming with us!" exclaimed Damien, half oblivious to the fact that he was being filmed. "Dane!" He grabbed Dane's arm from across the table and pointed in Bryce's direction. "He's not coming with us, right?"

Dane's face flashed with horror.

"NO."

Bryce looked hurt for a moment, and then crossed his arms over his chest childishly.

"Why not? You don't own me. I can do whatever I want. It's a lock-in at the school, which I happen to attend."

"Go find someone else to go with!" Damien ran a hand through his hair. "And we didn't even invite you to come with us."

"Whatever." Bryce slammed his coke onto his tray, making a loud thump. "I didn't want to go with you guys anyway. Who would want to spend a night in that creepy art hall anyway?" He examined everyone around the table, a grin emerging on his boyish features. "Especially not after what happened there twenty five years ago."

Alex waved his hand dismissively, as though he had heard the story a hundred times before.

"We know, we know. Art hall. Burnt down. Hell night. A student died." He snapped a picture of Bryce with his camera and set it back down on the table."And your point is?"

"My point," began Bryce in a long drawn out tone that Dane knew all too well. It was the same voice that Bryce used when he was trying to explain how he was completely innocent of whatever crime he had committed. "-is that every year on Halloween, they say that the kids who stay in the art hall for the lock in have all this really weird stuff happen to them."

"Like?" Damien asked, disbelieving.

"Like art supplies flying off the walls, and messages written in paint." He grabbed the table with both of his hands, leaning forward. "And sometimes," he began, lowering his voice to a whisper, "-people go missing."

Alex snorted, amused.

"Oh yeah, and eye holes in the paintings, right?"

"Ha ha. Very funny." Bryce glared at Alex, who was too busy laughing to care. "You won't be making jokes when the ghosts get to you."

"How would you even know that?" Lucie moved her chair back to its normal position, and took a sip of her water. "You're a freshman, and I haven't even heard of that stuff happening."

"Well I've heard stories, trust me."

"I wouldn't trust you." Dane shook his head. "You're just trying to freak us out and it's not working. You're full of shit."

Bryce ignored him.

"I bet you guys aren't even going to stay in the art hall because you'll be too scared. I would." He smiled proudly. "I'm not a pussy."

"No, you're an asshole." Damien grumbled, shoving a grape in his mouth. "And you're still not coming with us."

Bryce stood up from his chair loudly, and slammed it back into the table.

"Fine. I'll stay in the art hall by myself." He pulled his book bag over his back in a violent motion. "And if you guys aren't too chicken you can join me." He looked around the table one last time before leaving out the swinging doors of the cafeteria.

Maddie shut her camera, and laughed, breaking the tension instantly after he had left.

"I think it might be kind of fun to sleep in the art hall." She leaned into her hand, grinning wickedly. "Maybe I'll catch a ghost on my camera."

Alex nodded, excited, and cocked his head toward Dane, snapping a picture.

"You did always say that you wanted to go to a haunted house."

Dane pretended to pout and then pursed his lips, considering the idea.

"Alright," he decided, looking from Damien to Lucie from across the table. "Let's do it. Who's in?"

"Okay fine." Damien decided, rolling his eyes. "But I'm not talking to Bryce."

"I'll do it too," Ryan decided, turning his eyes to Lucie, along with the rest of the table.

Lucie bit her lip, looking around the table of eager faces, and then sighed.

"Alright I'm in."

* * *

><p>Lucie dropped her pillow on the floor and let her duffel bag slide off her shoulder. She looked around, surveying the dark room. "Well," she said, her voice echoing slightly. "We should turn on some lights."<p>

Suddenly something jumped onto her back and she screamed and started forward.

"Relax, Luce," Damien said, laughing and letting go of her. He flicked on the light switch next to the door and a warm light was cast across the first floor gallery of the new-ish art hall. They still called it new, even though it had been rebuilt 25 years ago after it was burnt down.

"You scared me! I hate you!" Lucie pushed at him playfully and they laughed.

"Are we planning on going in anytime soon, or are we just going to stand in the doorway?" Alex asked in a loud voice from behind them.

"Go." Dane kicked the back of Damien's legs. "Walk forward."

Damien turned to glare at his best friend but walked forward anyway.

Dane, Alex, Maddie, and Ryan all walked through the doors and set their bags down on the floor. They looked around at the familiar art hall with uninterested eyes.

"What are we supposed to do here all night?" Ryan asked, sounding bored already.

Maddie pulled her camera from her pocket and aimed it on him, very very close to his face.

"I don't think you're gonna have enough headroom there, Madders," Alex said, peering over her shoulder at the screen.

"This angle adds drama, Alex," she said, circling around so she was now filming Alex.

Alex just stuck out his tongue for the camera and sighed.

Meanwhile, Dane was fixing Lucie's wings, which were slightly crooked.

"You know I don't really mind if they're crooked," she said, making a face at Damien who was standing in front of her.

"But I do," Dane said shortly, shaping the wiring so they were even. "There ya go, all better." He patted her shoulders and looked up at Damien. "Don't make that face at me!"

"What face?" Damien asked, rearranging his facial features so his eyebrow wasn't raised and his lips weren't pursed.

"You're judging me," Dane whined.

Damien rolled his eyes and was about to retort when Alex arrived and said loudly, "DANE MY TIE IS TOO TIGHT."

Dane turned to his boyfriend and showed him how to loosen his tie, saying, "It's really sad that you don't know how to loosen your tie, babe."

"Oh I do know how to loosen it." Alex leaned in to peck Dane on the lips. "I just wanted to do that."

Dane rolled his eyes but smiled.

"Okay I think that's enough footage of me, Maddie," Ryan said as he came over to the little circle of friends.

"There will never be enough footage of you in that costume," Maddie said, not putting the camera away. "It's perfect."

"Personally," Dane interjected, "I would've gone with the Ninth Doctor."

"But Rose and Ten had way more chemistry," Ryan said.

"That's true. I just like Nine."

"I like Ten," Alex said quietly.

"Ten _is_ the best," Ryan said, "and he dresses the best too."

"If you were Eleven you'd have to find a fez," Lucie said. "And that might be tough to-"

Just then the door banged open and everyone jumped and turned to see the figure standing there.

"Luke?" Lucie asked.

"Hey, sorry did I scare you guys?" Luke stepped in and closed the door behind him. He dropped a heavy black bag on the floor and took off his coat.

"DUDE!" Dane's eyes widened and his face brightened. "Are you a zombie?"

"Duh! I'm a zombie every year that ends with a six." Luke folded the coat and set it on his bag. "I heard this place is haunted so I wanted to check it out. My dad told me to bring back samples of the – sorry, I'm being weird again, aren't I?" He looked around at the group assembled, all of whom were looking at him with expressions of 'this kid is very odd.' (Except for Dane, who was eying his costume happily.)

"No, I think it's cool," Lucie said, stepping forward and picking up Luke's bag. "Damn. This is heavy."

"Yeah, it has all the equipment I could fit in it," Luke said. "I wanted-"

The door opened again, and again, everyone jumped.

"Geez, guys, chill," Bryce said, stepping inside and throwing his bag onto the floor. He closed the door behind him loudly. "Are you scared already?"

"I'd been hoping you wouldn't actually come," Damien said, annoyed.

"Well here I am," Bryce said, splaying his arms out with a grin. "Sucks for you."

Alex took Dane's hand and squeezed it, but Dane didn't squeeze back.

"So! What are we going to do?" Lucie asked, deciding to ignore the awkwardness.

"Well I'm going to have a look around," Luke offered, unzipping his bag and taking out a heavy and awkward-looking thing that looked like a bow and arrow with lights on it. "If you'll excuse me." And he slipped away behind a row of half-finished paintings set up on easels.

"I think we should do something," Lucie said. "Like play a game or something."

"Or we could tell scary stories," Ryan said with bright eyes.

"Let's not," Lucie said quickly.

"Why not, Lucers?" Alex whined. "I think telling scary stories would be fun! It would be like talking about peeing while you're peeing, it just adds fun to the whole experience."

Dane stepped closer to Alex and whispered in his ear, "How about you don't open your mouth for the next few minutes, sweetie?"

"Um, guys?" Damien asked nervously. "Where did Bryce go?"

Everyone looked around but he was nowhere in sight.

Lucie walked across the room, hands on her hips, looking around, before the lights went out and a loud thump sounded. Rain began to pour in buckets outside, and a loud clap of thunder made Damien jump. Ryan screamed, and Dane cursed loudly.

"Turn the lights back on, Bryce!" Dane shifted in the darkness, tightening his grip on Alex's hand so that the poor boy had nearly lost all blood circulation. "No one wants to deal with your shit tonight."

Alex pulled his hand from Dane's grasp, wincing, and just as Dane was about to protest, he wrapped his arms around the shorter boy's middle instead.

The room was virtually black, save for the light coming from Maddie's camera, where Damien and Ryan could clearly be seen. Damien squinted his eyes, scanning the room.

"Lucie? Are you there?"

He was answered by a noise in the distance, a body colliding with an easel, followed by a short, almost humorous curse. Maddie giggled under her breath.

"I think we found her."

"I'm okay!" Lucie groaned, shoving the easel that she had fallen over aside, and making her way over to the light of Maddie's camera. Damien sighed in relief and crossed his arms over his chest self consciously. The darkness was disconcerting and he didn't want to think about who else could be lurking around in the shadows.

"Dude! Seriously. This isn't funny, Bryce!" Alex tightened his grip around Dane's middle, scanning the area.

The six friends waited in the silence, no one daring to speak, each looking around the room with equal expressions of horror as their eyes adjusted to the darkness. Time appeared to stop, nothing moved, nothing made a sound. It was complete and total silence.

"Wait," Lucie spoke, her voice coming out tiny, like a little mouse in the presence of a lion, "Where's Luke?"

The group exchanged a look, each of their faces devoid of any color.

"He was in the doorway when the lights went out, right?" Alex asked, turning his gaze in the direction of the door, "Maybe he ran out when the lights went off?"

Damien shook his head.

"He couldn't have. We would have felt the cold from outside." He ran a hand through his hair like he always did when he didn't know what else to do. He bit his lip, as though contemplating whether or not he should mention what was on his mind. After a minute of inner turmoil, he spoke, "Did you guys hear that thump before the lights went out?"

The group didn't say anything. Alex had his head buried in Dane's shoulder, Lucie was playing with her hair, and Maddie had taken to holding Ryan's hand to calm him down.

"Well?" Damien asked again, eyes wide and scared. Lucie swallowed, looking up at him with a similar look of fear reflected in her own eyes. She nodded silently, and looked down to the floor.

"Shit," Dane moaned, shutting his eyes. "Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit." He repositioned himself in Alex's arms, burying his head in the taller boy's chest.

Lucie pursed her lips the way she did when she was thinking hard about something, and shifted on the balls of her feet.

"Do you think someone got into the building?" she asked seriously, sounding more like an adult than a teenager in a Halloween costume. Maddie laughed loudly, though not humorously. It came out as more of a wail. Ryan winced, tightening his grip on his friend's hand.

"This isn't some slasher movie, Luce." She sounded more like she was trying to convince herself than Lucie. "And besides, Dalton's security is top notch. They wouldn't let anyone in, especially not after what happened."

Ryan nodded in agreement, muted by his own fear.

"I bet the circuits are just fried from the storm." Lucie said, logically. "We should call a teacher."

Damien nodded.

"She's right. We should call someone. They'll want to know that the prefect of Windsor is missing." Luke was never one for leaving when he wasn't supposed to, and especially not in situations like these. He had dealt with the Windsor boys and all of their shenanigans, a little power outage wasn't going to deter him.

"Well we can't just stay here!" exclaimed Alex, pulling away from where he was hugging Dane and grabbing his hand again. "We have to at least try to find Bryce and Luke. How will it look if we don't?"

"Alex is right. Especially if there is someone in the building. For all we know this is part of some elaborate plot to murder the students one by one!" Dane said, waving his unoccupied hand around wildly.

Ryan groaned unexpectedly and everyone turned toward him.

"Can we just leave this area, please? It's creepy, and I don't feel right with Luke gone." Everyone nodded.

"We should go up to the second floor," decided Dane starting for the stairs. "And stay together."

Maddie held up her camera, filming as they went up the stairs. She turned toward Ryan, camera in his face.

"Are you scared?" she asked, a smile creeping onto her lips.

"No," he replied, pushing the camera down and taking his hand from hers to prove his point. He hurried up ahead with the rest of the group, Maddie following behind.

They reached the top of the staircase, no one speaking for fear of drawing attention to themselves. They didn't want to believe that someone was in the building, but if there was, no one was going to take a chance of being heard.

Once they had safely made it to the second floor gallery, Damien pulled out his phone and shined it across the group, making sure that everyone was accounted for.

"Is everyone here?" he asked, unable to think clearly at the moment. Lucie counted each of the teens with a pointed finger. There was Alex and Dane, both clutching on to the other's hand for dear life, and Ryan who had his arms crossed over his chest with a look of false indifference painted on his features. Everyone was there except-

"Maddie," she thought out loud, covering her mouth with her hand. "Where's Maddie?"

"Shit." Ryan looked around frantically. "Shit, where is she?"

Alex pulled Dane closer to him, not wanting Dane to disappear like Luke, Bryce, and Maddie had.

"We…should…" Lucie bit her lip and looked around. "We should maybe…" Her heart was beating fast in her chest and she could barely think. "We should get out of here."

"No wait!" Alex exclaimed. "What if she got footage of whoever it was that attacked her? What if she dropped her camera?" He sounded excited. "I can go down and get it and we can see that it's probably just someone playing a prank!"

"No, you can't go down there," Dane said quickly.

"Why not?" Damien asked. "He'll just be right down there. He'll be fine. It's not like anyone's actually getting hurt…" He turned to Lucie. "Right?"

"No, he cannot go down there," Lucie said firmly. "You hear that, Alex?"

"No!" Alex let go of Dane. "Listen to Damien, I'll be _fine_."

"Andy! This is exactly how people get killed in horror movies!" Dane exclaimed, grabbing for Alex but Alex was already running down the stairs before anyone could stop him.

"Come _right _back here, Alexander!" Lucie yelled sternly.

"I'm _fine_, watch Daners for me!" Alex said, and the group listened as he stomped down the stairs and then turned the corner.

There was a few seconds' silence, and then a loud thud was heard.

"Alex?" Lucie called hesitantly.

There was no response.

"Shit!" Dane didn't hesitate, he ran down the staircase, taking it two steps at a time.

"Wait, Dane, you can't-" Damien stopped as Dane disappeared into the darkness. He turned to Lucie and Ryan, only to realize that Ryan wasn't there. He shone his cell phone around but sure enough, Ryan was nowhere in sight. "Shit. Not again."

Lucie looked around. "Ryan?"

No response.

"Okay we can freak out now, right?" she asked, turning to Damien.

"Well…Dane will be back up in a second…" Damien wrung his hands.

"Guys?" came Dane's voice from downstairs.

"Is he okay?" Lucie asked quickly, breathlessly.

"Uh…" Dane cursed. "No, he's unconscious."

Lucie's eyes bulged and she grabbed blindly for Damien's hand. "But is he…?"

"No. He's just…unconscious."

Lucie started forward but Damien pulled her back. "Let's keep going. Dane will stay there with him. We should go somewhere else. Into another room."

"But…"

"Dane?" Damien called. "Are you okay watching Alex?"

"Yeah," Dane called back, his voice sounding somewhat strangled. "You guys go somewhere else."

"Okay! We're going to look for Ryan! Call us if you need us, okay!" Lucie shouted down to Dane, trying to keep her own voice from wavering, she noticed that her hand was still in Damien's and started to pull it away. Damien squeezed it, instead, and blushed despite himself.

"I'm kind of freaked out," He admitted, voice tight, eyes trained on the spot where Dane had left. "What could have hit him, Lucie? What if it's down there with Dane?" He let out a long gust of air, rocking back on the balls of his feet.

Lucie looked to their entwined hands and tightened her own grip. She had never seen Damien so vulnerable. He always had everything under control.

"I don't know," she admitted after a beat of silence. "But I know that we can't stay here. Not if we don't want the same thing to happen to us. We can't afford to lose each other. Not now."

Damien nodded numbly, scanning the room. There were paintings lining the walls of a long hallway that wrapped around the room, with a large pillar in the center where the two halls on either side met.

The room was wide open, and there was no furniture save for the easels. It was nearly impossible for Ryan to have disappeared without the door on the other side opening, and they had heard nothing in all of the excitement.

He felt Lucie tug on his arm and he jumped, not expecting her hands to be so cold. He shivered, and looked down at her. Her face was pale white, and her eyes were trained on the far side of the room by the doorway. Her mouth was in an 'O' shape, and her hand shook in the place that it had grabbed at his black t-shirt.

"Lucie what is-" He stopped short, following her gaze. He almost screamed at the site, dropping his hold on her hand and covering her mouth. "Fuck!"

Lucie bit her lip to stop herself from sobbing. Damien walked over to the easel and cursed again, grabbing at his hair with two fisted hands.

"It-how could-what-" He slammed his eyes shut, trying to remain some sense of rationality. It was impossible, he decided, and turned away completely from the easel.

Crudely written in dripping wet read paint, the easel read, "You're next Damien."

Lucie hid her head in her hands, sobbing, unable to stop herself, and Damien let a stream of curses fill the room, trying to keep himself from sobbing.

He moved across the room and wrapped his arm around Lucie, pulling her gently to his chest and laying his head on top of hers, both letting the tears run down their face openly now. Lucie fisted her hands in Damien's t-shirt, hiding her face in the soft cotton.

They stayed like that for a while, until Lucie felt Damien's chest begin to rise and fall at a slower pace. He ran a hand through her hair in an attempt to calm her down.

"I'll be fine, Lucie. I won't let them get to me." He whispered, "I won't leave you alone."

She looked up at him, eyes red and shiny. She swallowed, hugging herself closer to his chest.

"You can't promise that. Ryan just vanished without us seeing it. That could happen to you too."

Damien knew it was the truth, so he decided to stay in his current position and not say anything. She was only about five feet, yet he felt that having her arms wrapped around him would somehow save him from whatever had written the message.

"We can't stay here," she whispered, her voice hoarse. "Whoever or...or...whatever wrote that can't be too far away by now. The paint is still f-fresh." Her voice stammered and Damien felt his heart drop.

He felt himself nod, though he was barely aware of what was happening by this point. It all felt like some crazy, horrible dream.

"We should...we should go to the basement." He saw Lucie's eyes widen at his suggestion and explained, "The breakers are in the basement. If we can get the power back on we might be able to find the others quicker."

Damien felt Lucie's breath on his chest as she sighed, wiping her eyes.

"Okay." She released her hold on Damien's torso and readjusted her wings, which were becoming inconvenient by this point in the evening. "But we have to stay together." She held her hand out and offered it to Damien, who took it immediately.

"Yeah. Together." He entwined their fingers, and smiled, then started toward the staircase. It was then that they heard a loud screech as the doorway on the opposite side of the gallery opened, and the easel was knocked over.

"What the fuck?" They heard a familiar voice exclaim. They both jumped, hands tightening their hold and slowly turned around despite Lucie's attempt to run.

"Bryce?" Damien stepped foward. "What the _hell_ are you doing!"

It was, in fact, Bryce, covered in red paint, wrestling with the easel by the doorway. He cursed under his breath and put his hands up cautiously.

"It is _not_ what it looks like."

"Then what _is _it?" choked Lucie, leaning into Damien and examining the red paint.

He ran a hand through his hair, not thinking about the paint and cursed again, kicking the paint can to the side.

"I was looking everywhere for you guys!" he explained, eyes wide. "And then I heard a crash from the stairs and came back here! I swear! I slipped and fell on the can of paint and that's why I'm covered in it!" His mouth was open in exasperation, and he groaned as Damien and Lucie raised their eyebrows in disbelief. "I swear! Do you honestly think I would fucking write in red paint and then run around covered in it? How stupid do you think I am?"

"Don't act like this is beneath you, Bryce! We all know you wanted to scare us." Damien snapped, cheeks red in rage. "Just admit it already and stop acting like a fucking kid all of the time!"

Lucie was silent, looking from Bryce to Damien and back to Bryce. They locked eyes, and Lucie frowned, brow furrowed in concentration. She pressed her lips together and continued to examine him. His uniform was covered in the red paint, but his eyes were wide and scared just like everyone else before they had disappeared. He looked like a lost little boy, scared and vulnerable. She had never seen him so devoid of his usual confidence.

"Maybe he didn't do it," she contemplated out loud, her voice was almost a whisper, but they could both hear it loud and clear.

Bryce looked at her with wonder and moved away from the doorway.

"I didn't."

Damien shook his head, examining Bryce for himself. He sighed in defeat.

"Then where have you been all this time?"

It might have been the way that the light from the moon hit the red paint, but Lucie swore that she saw him blush.

"Oh." He shrugged, running a hand behind his back. "About that, well, you see…"

"Today, Bryce." Lucie rolled her eyes, tapping her foot impatiently.

"When I heard the thunder, I ran to the other side of the room and hit my foot running up the stairs." He looked down, face red. "And then I didn't know my way through the building and got lost."

Lucie giggled despite herself, hiding it with her hand.

"It's not funny!" groaned Bryce, setting the painting upright and standing in front of the two.

"Oh, it's hilarious." Damien laughed too, and for a moment, he forgot about the painting all together. Bryce pouted and started for the stairs.

"Whatever. I'm getting out of here." He opened the door to the stairwell and started down the steps, relieved when he heard the door creak open behind him, and Lucie and Damien dash after him.

"Oh no you aren't!" said Lucie, grabbing his forearm. "We all have to stay together now. We're going down to the basement to turn the power back on if it's not burnt out."

She released her hold on his arm and started to walk in front of him, keeping her hold on Damien's hand.

"Dane and Alex are at the bottom of the staircase," she whispered, looking up at Bryce, "Alex is unconscious and Dane's watching him."

Bryce raised an eyebrow. "Unconscious?"

"It's a long story, now let's go." Damien motioned for Bryce to follow down the staircase, and the three made it to the spot where Alex had fallen. Lucie moaned and buried her head in Damien's side.

"Well," Bryce began after a second of silence, all eyes trained on the now empty staircase, "Looks like they got up and left."

"Or someone took them." Damien's chest rose considerably as he took a large breath through his nose. "Which means we don't have any time to waste in getting to the basement. Lives are at stake now." His voice was hollow, and it made a shiver run up Lucie's spine. After a moment they all began to trudge down the stairs in a horizontal fashion. They couldn't risk Bryce following behind for the fear that he might disappear like Maddie or Ryan had.

Once they had made it to the bottom floor, Bryce examined the pair next to him with the added light from the main gallery's windows. He frowned, noticing their entwined fingers.

"Why are you guys holding hands?"

Damien's eyes widened, as did Lucie's. They looked at each other and then turned away, blushing.

"It's so we don't lose each other," Lucie explained, quickening her pace to the basement.

"So then why don't I hold your other hand? I don't want to lose you guys either." His tone held nothing other than thinly veiled jealousy, and Damien felt his teeth grind together.

Lucie opened her mouth to respond, but they had reached the door to the basement. It was an older wooden door with a brass knob that was rusted. It must have been left over from the old art hall, she thought, which caused a chill to run up her spine.

"We're here anyway." She reached for the handle, sighing in relief at being saved from the potentially awkward situation. She was stopped by Bryce's hand on hers. She jerked her hand away and frowned.

"What the hell, Bryce?"

"You're not going down there." He replied instantly, turning the knob himself and opening the door half way. "Damien and I can go, but it's too dangerous for you." He smiled apologetically and looked to Damien for support.

Lucie again reached for the doorknob, and was, again stopped, this time by Damien. She groaned in frustration, and crossed her arms over her chest, yanking her hand from Damien's grasp.

"You are _not_ leaving me up here by myself, Damien Larson-Wright!" She bit her lip in rage and stomped her foot childishly.

Damien looked on, conflicted for a moment, and then shook his head violently.

"Bryce is right, Lucie. There could be a killer down there and there is no way I'm putting you in danger. If Alex was here he would agree."

"Did Alex listen to _my_ advice?" she countered, voice tight with thinly veiled anger. "This isn't the 1950s. I don't need you two to protect me." She glared at Bryce and then Damien, before moving toward the doorway again.

Both Bryce and Damien stepped in front of her.

"What if Alex or Dane come back? They won't know where to go if we're in the basement," Bryce tried to reason with her, eyes pleading, "and if we're both down in the basement, who will help us if we get attacked? Someone needs to stay up here, and it's not going to be me or Damien."

Lucie looked him in the eyes, a silent battle going on between them. His eyes were so filled with worry and fear that Lucie felt a lump catch in her throat. She turned away and mumbled, "Okay. Go. But scream if you see _anything_," She turned toward the boys again, "-got it?"

"Got it." Bryce responded instantly, pulling on Damien's arm. "Let's go. I'll go first." Damien nodded smugly and took one last look at Lucie, reaching out to squeeze her hand and smile sadly, before trudging down the steps to the basement.

When they both disappeared into the darkness of the basement, Lucie slid against the wall and hugged her knees to herself, trying to make herself as small as possible in the big dark room. Every shadow made her flinch, and she covered her eyes with her hands.

What seemed like hours later she heard a loud bang coming from the basement. She jumped up from her position, eyes wide and ready to trudge down the steps herself.

"Damien! Bryce!" she cried, flinging the door open wider and staring into the abyss. She felt her heart catch in her throat and her hands begins to shake as she started for the first step, and then collided with a red blur and hit the floor above the cellar with a thump.

"Ah!" She screamed, putting a hand to her head as her vision cleared from the impact. She found herself face to face with none other than Bryce, sweaty and panic stricken, his brown hair matted to his forehead. She felt his chest rise and fall rapidly, and was unable to move for a minute. They just stared at each other, each unable to speak. Both so scared that they barely noticed that they were flush against each other.

It was Lucie who reacted first, pushing Bryce off of her and sitting up.

"Damien." Bryce gasped finally, searching Lucie's face wildly. "He was there! He was right behind me, I swear and then-" He cut himself off as though all the air in the room had been emptied.

Lucie bit her lip, willing herself not to start sobbing again. She wouldn't appear vulnerable. Not in front of Bryce of all people. She wouldn't give him any reason to feel superior.

She sucked in a huge gust of air, and picked herself up off of the floor, offering a hand to Bryce.

He took it readily and stood up next to her, staring down into the basement again, as though wishing that Damien would come pounding up the stairwell.

"We have to get out of here," Bryce said, waving his hands around frantically. "There was a loud crash and Damien and I ran for the stairs. I don't know what it was, but he didn't come up and-" He cut himself off. "Lucie, whatever it was, it was fast, and we need to get as far away as possible."

Lucie nodded, it was all she trusted herself to do at a time like this. She ran for the stairs in one reckless move, grabbing Bryce by the hand and dragging him after her.

"We need to go to the attic!" She exclaimed, as though it was the obvious. "That's the only place we haven't been, and whatever is in here with us won't be able to find us from there."

Bryce huffed, half jogging to keep up with Lucie's pace as they bounded the stairs. For someone so short, she was fast, he had to give her that.

"But what if it's up there!"

"Then we'll just have to take that chance! We have nothing to lose!" Lucie sounded crazy, but Bryce wasn't one to argue with her, not now, not after everything that had happened in the night. He was too scared to argue.

"And what will we do when we get there?" he asked as they rounded the staircase up to the top floor of the building.

"We call Dean Ramsey and tell her what happened. Then when they send someone over they can search for the rest of us and we can get the hell out of here!" They reached the top of the staircase and slammed into the doors that opened to the third floor gallery, breathing heavily.

It was a room almost identical to the second floor gallery, except for a small chain that hung from the ceiling and led to the attic stairs.

Lucie tried to reach for the chain, but it was up far too high for her five foot stature to reach, and she groaned in frustration. Bryce tried to reach for the chain, but he wasn't much taller than Lucie was. He cursed under his breath. Lucie scanned the room for something to stand on, but found nothing, she turned around to face Bryce when she felt two hands lifting her up toward the doorway.

She gasped in surprise and look down at Bryce with wide eyes.

"Don't look up my skirt, you pervert," She moaned, reaching for the chain. Bryce laughed.

"I make no promises."

He sat her down gently, and the stairs to the attic came down with her.

"Did you like what you saw?" she asked, trying to lighten the mood and also delay.

Bryce grinned. "Of course I did and I want to protect it. Now get your ass upstairs."

Lucie stuck her tongue out at him and started up the stairs.

Once she got up, she hoisted herself into the attic, a dark and musty room. Moonlight slanted in through the small windows, and the rain sounded even louder up here.

Lucie shivered, though not from the cold, and stood up. "Okay, Bryce, you can-"

And the stairs came back up loudly and quickly.

"LUCIE?" Bryce yelled from below. "LUCIE!"

"Bryce!" Lucie turned around, hand on hip, ready to open the stairs again and yell at Bryce for closing them. But she stopped and her blood turned cold at what she saw.

Alice.

Standing there in a devil costume, a small black dress that came down only to her upper thighs, with lace at the center of the boobs, which spilled over the top of the dress. Garters came from the bottom of the skirt, which was pleated red leather, to the top of the bright red fishnets that she wore under her sleek black knee-high boots. The heels gave her at least two inches, making her much taller than Lucie. Two red horns stuck out from the top of her now-curled brown hair. A red tail sprouted from the back of the skirt, and this she twirled lazily.

"Alice," Lucie said, stepping back.

"LUCIE!" Bryce called again from downstairs.

"I'm okay, Bryce," Lucie said. "Just hold on."

"Are you-"

"Shhh," Lucie said loudly.

Bryce fell silent, though every now and then Lucie thought she heard a "fuck" or a "shit" from the room below.

"What are you doing?" Lucie asked, laughing in a way that showed how her sanity was ripping at the seams.

"I decided that Halloween was too _boring_ for me," Alice drawled. "So I thought I might have some fun."

"It isn't _funny_!" Lucie exclaimed. "You knocked my little brother unconscious!"

This seemed to surprise Alice, because her eyebrows shot up and her mouth curved into a little O, but she regained her complete composure momentarily. "I don't know what you're talking about. That wasn't me. That was just my friends. Sorry." Though she didn't seem sorry at all.

"He could be _hurt_ because of you!" Lucie practically shouted. "What if they hurt him seriously? What if he has a concussion?"

"I said I was sorry," Alice said firmly.

Lucie just glared, and Alice twirled her tail some more, perfectly comfortable.

"So what do you want? Why did you trap me up here with you?" Lucie asked finally.

"Because I want to talk to you. Like we used to, remember? Remember when you talked to me?"

Lucie crossed her arms and felt her wings shift on her back. "Yes, I remember. And I remember when you turned into a total bitch. Do you remember that?"

"I had _anorexia_. It causes mood changes, look it up." Alice looked annoyed but also hurt. "Unless you don't care that much. Unless you were too busy falling in love with my boyfriend."

"Damien and I aren't in _love_," Lucie retorted. "And I did look up anorexia, thank you very much. And I saw about the mood changes but now you're back and oh – look at that – still a bitch."

Alice practically growled. "I wouldn't be calling _me_ a bitch if I were you. You're the one who stole my boyfriend, stole my friends, stole my _life_. When I came back none of you wanted me anymore. And now you're calling me a bitch."

"If you're trying to mend broken friendships, this is not the way to go about it," Lucie said, feeling only slightly bad for Alice.

"Well maybe we can't _all_ be friendship whizzes like _you_, Lucie." Alice said her ex-best friend's name with scorn.

"I'm still not understanding the point of this," Lucie said, shifting her weight. She wondered where everyone else was. "Where did you take my friends?"

"Nowhere, they're all here. They're just…in closets or trapped behind stuff, I don't know. I asked the girls on the cheerleading squad to help me dispose of them."

"But they wouldn't…_hurt_ them, would they?"

"No, of course not! Jesus, it's just a harmless _prank_, Lucie! Calm down."

"Alex is unconscious! Someone knocked him unconscious!" Lucie exclaimed. "And if you hate us all so much, why would you prank us like this?"

"I never said I hated you, I said you hated me."

"We don't hate you."

"Alex hates me."

"Alex has always hated you."

"You hate me."

"I don't hate you."

"Damien hates me."

"You broke his heart."

"But you admit it."

"…Yes, Damien probably hates you. He also loves you. He's very torn up about it, you have to understand that. He didn't just get over you," she snapped her fingers, "like that."

"Not like you did." Alice put her hand on her hip and dropped the tail, and it hung limply at her side, bouncing against her legs weakly.

"I didn't get over you that easily," Lucie said. "But maybe…we were never really friends at all."

"Of course we were friends," Alice said like that was the stupidest thing she'd ever heard. "We—you're getting me off-track, Lucie," she said suddenly, as if just remembering something. "The reason I dragged you up here was because I had to tell you to stay away from Damien."

Lucie's mouth fell open. "But you just said he doesn't like you."

"And you said he does."

Lucie cursed under her breath.

"And as long as there's that hope… I want him."

"You can't have him," Lucie said, stepping forward. "Because you hurt him."

"Oh, like _you_ wouldn't hurt him?"

"I wouldn't!"

"You hurt everyone, Lucie. You're so damn perfect and you make everyone feel like shit about themselves. And you know it."

Lucie looked at the floor, determined not to show Alice her weakness.

"So stay away from Damien, or else."

Lucie coughed out a laugh. "Or else? Is that a threat?"

"Yeah. Maybe it is." Alice cocked her head to the side. "Is that a problem?"

Alice stopped herself when she heard the rickety stairs creak from underneath them. Her eyes went wide and she shifted so that she wasn't in the patch of light that flooded into the attic.

"Lucie!" Damien called, bounding up the attic stairs, ducking from one of the beams in the ceiling. He caught sight of her and pulled her to him in a bone crunching embrace. She smiled, shutting her eyes, and shivered again. She opened her eyes to find Alice glaring at her from the opposite side of the attic, and she pulled back, stepping back from Damien.

"Where were you?" Lucie asked weakly, her voice muffled by Damien's chest.

"When we were down in the basement, I knocked something over. Bryce flipped out and ran up the stairs. I couldn't see, and my leg hurt from whatever I hit so I found my way to the breakers and then came back up." He groaned, as though reliving the memory again, and then shook his head, getting back on topic.

"What the hell happened?" he asked, still not facing Alice, unaware of her presence in the room. Bryce pounded up the stairs a second later.

"Yeah, what the-" He stopped short, and gasped, stumbling backwards at the sight of Alice. "When did _you_ get here?" He looked her up and down, from her heels, up her legs, stopping not so briefly at her chest, and resting on her face finally.

Alice smirked, twirling her tail in her hand nonchalantly. She stepped forward from where she was hidden in the shadows, the light bouncing off of her skirt.

"It was all a joke, guys. Wasn't it funny?"

Damien gaped at her, mouth dry.

"What?"

Alice rolled her eyes, slinking across the attic, heels clicking against the wood.

"It's a Halloween prank, Damien! Lighten up!" She laughed, but the action didn't reach her eyes.

"Lighen up?" Damien shook his head in disbelief. "Alice! Alex was knocked unconscious! And where are Ryan, Maddie and Luke?"

She huffed, placing a hand on her hip.

"That wasn't part of the plan! And he's alright anyway. I told Luke that the Windsors needed help in the science wing, and Maddie and Ryan are in a closet." She waved her hand dismissively. "I just wanted to liven up Halloween for my old _friends_." She stared directly at Lucie, malice radiating from her pupils. Lucie stepped farther away, one foot on the stairs to the third floor gallery, ready to leave.

"We still are your friends, Alice," Damien said, smiling sadly and moving closer to her. "You didn't have to pull this to prove that, right Lucie?" He twisted his body to look at Lucie, who was frozen in silent rage. She shook her head and lifted her foot off the step, moving closer.

"She's not my friend," Lucie snapped, looking her up and down. "She's just the bitch that knocked my brother unconscious and threatened me in an attic."

Damien's mouth hung agape, brow furrowed.

"How can you say that?"

"She threatened me, Damien!" Lucie's eyes were huge, cheeks flushed with anger. "And she planned this just so that she could!"

Damien shook his head slowly, looking between Alice and Lucie.

"No...she couldn't have..." he decided, studying the girl in the devil's costume. "I know Alice and I know she would never do something like that."

Alice frowned, a fake frown that made Lucie bite her lip to contain her rage.

"Oh Damien, I just wanted to patch up things with Lucie, but she wouldn't listen to me!" Alice ran toward Damien, hugging herself into his chest, and sighing loudly.

"That's total bullshit!" Lucie exclaimed, her hands knotting into fists. "She's lying!"

Bryce chose this time to speak up, stepping over between Lucie and Alice, who was hugging Damien. The floorboards creaked in the silence, cutting the thick air like a knife.

"Why would Lucie lie?" he reasoned, staring up at Damien. "If she says Alice threatened her, Alice threatened her. Why the hell else would she lock her in an attic?"

"Well Alice wouldn't lie either." Damien carefully lifted Alice's arms from him and stepped backward, shutting his eyes and running a hand through his hair. "I just don't know what to think, okay?"

"Well you should believe Lucie!" Bryce shouted, motioning toward her. "Whatever." He decided, shaking his head. "I'm getting out of here now that the power's back on. I'm fed up with this shit." He started to walk down the staircase loudly.

Lucie sucked in a deep gust of air. She pushed her lips together, looking down and playing with the seams of her dress.

"I'm leaving too. You two can talk or whatever." Her voice wavered and she turned to leave the attic. "A-and I'll get Ryan and Maddie out of the closets." She nodded and then ran down the steps, ignoring Bryce at the bottom and running down the hall.

* * *

><p>-earlier-<p>

As he heard the rest of the group walk away upstairs, Dane looked down at Alex, at his body slumped against the wall, and he bit his lip.

_Don't freak out don't freak out don't freak out, _he told himself. _He'll wake up in a second._

Dane leaned in close, placing his fingers gently on Alex's neck just below his jaw, checking again for a pulse. It was most definitely there. Dane breathed a sigh of relief and sat back on his feet. He looked at Alex and then looked around in the darkness. He could barely see anything, and wouldn't even be able to see Alex if it weren't for the moonlight streaming through the window and giving the room a sort of glow.

"Andy," he whispered. "You gotta get up, Andy. You gotta wake up now."

There was a sound of floorboards creaking behind him, and Dane whirled about, having forgotten he was in a supposedly haunted art hall.

But there stood a girl in a cheerleading uniform. She was peering closely at Alex and Dane. Dane couldn't quite make her out but he was almost 100% positive just from the way she stood that she was Mandy, the girl he'd gone out with for three weeks about a year before.

"Is he okay?" she asked, coming closer once she saw that Dane had noticed her there.

"Maybe," Dane snapped. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I…are you sure he's okay?" She stepped closer and Dane stood up protectively.

"Are you the one who shut off all the power?" he asked.

"No. That was Katie."

"And…why?"

"Alice is doing this elaborate…thing." She motioned with her hands. "Uh, I accidentally…well I…he fell against the wall and hit his head…and…" She motioned toward Alex. Dane remembered that she said most of her words with her hands.

"Well thanks to you he's now unconscious and-" He looked at her sharply. "What is—nevermind. What happened, why did he fall against the wall?"

"Well I tried to grab him but he's stronger than he looks."

"Damn right he's stronger than he looks, Alex is one of the strongest guys I know," Dane said angrily.

"So he fought me and I threw him against the wall. And he just fell…like that." She motioned toward him again.

Dane rolled his eyes. "Well I'm taking him to the infirmary. You must have the keys, that's how you guys got in here."

"Yeah, Alice stole us a few copies." Mandy held up the key from a chain around her neck.

"Then unlock the fucking door and-"

"Daney?" came a small voice from behind them. Dane whirled and rushed back to Alex's side. "What happened?" Alex asked, holding his hand to his head and looking around, confused.

"Holy shit you're awake!" Dane didn't really believe it, Alex was awake. That part of Dane that always assumed the worst – and that was the dominant part – had already marked Alex off as dead and gone.

"Yeah…" Alex looked as though he didn't really believe it either. "Um, what…"

"Here." Dane looped his arm under Alex's legs and held his other under Alex's back. He hoisted his boyfriend up and turned toward Mandy. "Open the door."

Mandy turned immediately and went to the door, unlocking it and holding it open.

"And I'd highly suggest turning on the power, yeah?" Dane said rudely as he walked through the doorway and out into the grounds.

And then he heard as Mandy closed the door and fled across the lawn, back toward her own House. Dane rolled his eyes and looked down at Alex. The rain was soaking them both, and he started to walk faster. Why did the infirmary have to be so far _away_?

"I'm cold," Alex said quietly, his teeth beginning to chatter.

"I know," Dane said, quickening his stride even more without actually running. He didn't want to jostle Alex too much.

"You don't have to carry me," Alex said. "I can walk."

"Shut up." Dane looked ahead and not at Alex, but he hugged the curly-haired boy closer to him.

A few moments later, Alex was wrapped in a blanket drinking some warm water because the nurse had nothing else to give him.

"Okay." Dane sat next to him on the bed and turned toward Alex. "Are you okay now?"

"Yeah. She said I'm fine unless I start vomiting straight toward the wall."

"Okay." Dane cleared his throat and then shouted, "YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT!"

Alex winced and looked down into his plastic cup.

"HOLY SHIT ALEX I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO DIE! YOU CAN'T JUST FUCKING GO DOWN THE STAIRS INTO THE DARKNESS WHERE THERE'S SOMETHING EVIL LURKING EVEN THOUGH IT WAS JUST A DUMB CHEERLEADER BUT STILL. YOU CAN'T DO THAT! DON'T WE WATCH ENOUGH HORROR MOVIES? YOU IDIOT, YOU FUCKING IDIOT, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!"

Alex looked at Dane, not sure how to respond.

"Holy shit I'm just so glad you're alive," Dane said, wrapping his arms around Alex and pulling him closer. "I love you, and I thought I'd never get to tell you that again."

"You overreact, babe," Alex said, wrapping an arm around Dane and patting him on the back. "But I love you too."


	20. Chapter 20: Thanksgiving

**Hey everyone!**

**This chapter has been quite delayed because we're both doing NaNoWriMo this month. But fear not - we're here now and hopefully the updates will be more frequent from here on out!**

**Now, this chapter was really easy to split up because it involves two different Thanksgiving dinners. Caitlin (persephonesweasley on tumblr, persephonesmelody on here) wrote the Anderson (and others) family one, and Helen (flightofdeathfrench on tumblr, I'mJustCrazyEnough17 on here) wrote the Seigerson (and others) family one. And Caitlin wrote the beginning Dalex scene.**

**So enjoy this Thanksgiving chapter, and enjoy your Thanksgiving!**

* * *

><p>The students gathered in the main hall of Dalton Academy, waiting for either their parents to pick them up, or saying goodbye to their friends if they were driving themselves.<p>

Alex tightened his grip on Dane's hand as he pushed his way through the crowd. They made their way to a hallway just outside the main hall that was hardly ever crowded at all. There was a couch at the far end of the hall and a few long windows that lit the dim hallway and made visible the specks of dust as they flew through the air.

Alex laughed as he practically skipped down the hallway, Dane stumbling behind him and echoing with giggles of his own, both unsure why they were so giddy.

They stopped at the couches at the end of the hall and Dane whirled Alex around from behind, grabbing him by the blazer and pulling him down so that he could easily kiss him. Alex grinned into the kiss, pushing Dane up against the wall that led to the foreign language corridor so that he could rest his forearms on the molding, trapping Dane in his place.

Dane knotted his hands in Alex's hair and ran his thumb along his jawline, wanting to memorize every inch of his face before Thanksgiving vacation.

Alex pulled back a little bit, to look Dane in the eyes,

"You know, I think I just might kidnap you and bring you home with me," he whispered, kissing Dane's cheek.

"I just might not struggle," Dane laughed, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back against the wall with a contented smile traced on his lips.

Alex kissed down his jawline and his neck, a whisper on Dane's pale skin, soft and delicate, innocent. Dane felt the blood rush to his cheeks, and the nerves in his body set on fire where Alex's fingers hesitantly brushed his chest, knotting his fingers into the soft fabric of Dane's t-shirt.

Alex's mind was moving at ten times its usual speed, thoughts running in and out, and mostly wondering what he was doing and whether he was doing it right or not

Dane felt Alex's breath hot against his ear, and suddenly Alex ceased his action and had him pulled into a hug.

Dane's eyes fluttered open as he returned the embrace, smiling contentedly.

"You are going to have to stop that." He pulled away, cupping Alex's reddened cheeks in both his hands. "One of these days it's going to give me a heart attack."

Alex laughed, a relieved sound, and lifted his camera from the bag that had been forgotten on his hip.

"I'm going to miss you," he sighed, fumbling with the lens of his camera.

"I _hate _Thanksgiving," Dane groaned, laying his head on Alex's shoulder. Alex patted him on the back and sighed.

"Me too."

"And I'm texting you the whole time," he mumbled from where his head was buried in Alex's t-shirt.

"I'll be glued to my phone, I promise."

Dane lifted his head to look up at his boyfriend.

"You sure?"

"I'm sure, Daners."

He searched his face one last time before deciding that he was telling the truth.

"Okay."

He let out a deep breath and pulled Alex back to him.

"But I'm staying here until your parents come to get you."

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

* * *

><p>Lucie turned to the mirror for the fifth time in the last ten minutes, straightening her dress and running a curl through her fingertips to make sure that it bounced back perfectly into its place. She sighed and pushed her lips together, pulling at the hem of her dress and fidgeting to make sure that it fell in exactly the right way on her body, not too short, not too long.<p>

"You know some other people have to use the bathroom too, Luce."

He took a picture of her with the camera that was slung around his neck and pushed her playfully to the side.

He reached for his toothbrush and ran water over it.

"You didn't brush your teeth yet today!" Lucie made a face in disgust, and Alex shrugged.

"I slept in late!"

"So?"

He shrugged and shoved the brush in his mouth obnoxiously, and grinned at her as he brushed his teeth. She rolled her eyes and reached for a tube of mascara across the sink.

Alex spit into the sink and wiped it on the back of his hand.

"You know, you better iron your shirt before Grandmother comes," Lucie said, applying her mascara carefully. "You know what she said last time."

Again, he shrugged, running a comb through his hair. It got stuck in one of the curls and he pulled on it, making a face to free the comb. He knocked into Lucie and she made a little squeal, dropping the mascara.

"I really don't care. If grandma told you to jump off a bridge, would you?" He smiled playfully at Lucie, who stuck her tongue out at him.

"I'm just saying that-"

"Lucie! Alex!" They heard hasty footsteps come down the hallway, followed by a thump, and a curse. They turned toward each other and laughed, knowing full well that it was their Papa coming down the hallway without even having to see if it was actually him or not.

Sure enough, Reed rounded the corner and peered into the bathroom, wearing a crisp button down shirt with straight tailored black pants. His hair was pressed back perfectly in place, and his cheeks were flushed the way they always were on holidays when there was so much going on at once.

He opened his mouth to speak, but paused upon noticing Alex's appearance.

"Alexander," he began, stepping into the bathroom with his lips pursed, "What did I tell you? Use the iron."

Alex rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest self-consciously.

"I don't see what the big deal is if my shirt is wrinkly."

Reed smiled at Alex, and shook his head, amused, and then reached up to smooth one of his curls back into place. He then examined Lucie, and nodded in approval.

"Alright. We're ready to go now," he said, "Your grandmother just got here so make sure to be good alright?" He stared mostly at Alex, who whistled innocently.

"What?" he asked, a mischievous grin traced on his lips. "I won't say anything to her this time! I swear."

Lucie groaned, and made her way out of the bathroom after her dad.

* * *

><p>"Are you an <em>idiot <em>or something? Of course they didn't celebrate Thanksgiving before the pilgrims!"

"They did! I swear! I read it somewhere!"

"You're just being stupid."

"No, _you're_ being close-minded. Just listen to your wise brother and-"

"Well, I can see they're getting along better," Logan's voice was loud as Dane and Bryce entered the house after their parents.

They both rolled their eyes as Derek responded, "Yeah, we're both very proud of them."

Dane looked down to see Bryce giving him the middle finger discreetly, and he glared.

"Please," Casey said, turning around and straightening Bryce's collar (Bryce wiggled away), "try to get along. At least pretend to like each other. You can fight all you want at school but not here, alright?"

They both nodded solemnly, each thinking 'He's not going to listen to her.'

Together they were pushed through a tunnel of family members just to get to the coat rack and hang up their coats. Dane saw Damien already sitting at the table, absorbed in his phone, and he focused on getting to Damien instead of on all the people greeting him and hugging him and worse, kissing him on the cheek or ruffling his hair.

There were Uncle Logan's parents, and Dane tried to ignore the look Senator Wright gave him and focus instead on the smile and warm hug he received from Michelle.

"I'm proud of you," she whispered in his ear and he nodded, smiling distantly.

And then Julian's parents, and it was weird seeing Dolce Larson, the movie star, standing in front of him. He was used to it with Uncle Julian because Uncle Julian was Uncle Julian. They smiled vaguely at him and she hugged him and Travis shook his hand but it was clear they didn't really know anything about him.

It was weird, in Dane's opinion, that they had to get together with all these distant family members just because his dad and Damien's dads wanted to combine their families for Thanksgiving. Why couldn't he have just stayed at Dalton? What kind of stupid holiday was Thanksgiving, anyway? Where you get together and _eat_ and everything's weird and awkward because you just know that everyone's staring at _you_, the kid who just came out of the closet and had all these issues involved with it even though there was no reason for it. The kid with depression who has to go to therapy even though his family's perfectly loving (except Bryce) and his parents are totally accepting.

So Dane hated Thanksgiving.

His grandparents arrived after him, both sets, and he'd seen them since Regionals and they were all totally accepting but he still felt uncomfortable as he hugged them, and responded to their small talk like:

"How's school?"

"Oh it's great."

"You like Dalton then?"

"Yeah it's great."

"How are your grades?" (from his grandparents on his dad's side)

"They're great."

And then Bryce would say, "Get a wider vocabulary, Dane," and everyone listening would kind of glare at him and Dane knew that everyone was being too careful around him and treating him fragile and this was exactly what he didn't want to happen.

His cell phone vibrated in his pocket and he excused himself from the conversation to go sit next to Damien at the table. Mumbling a 'hey' he pulled it out and pressed 'View.'

'I think I'm going to end up pulling my hair out by the end of the night. Go on without me.' Alex.

Dane smiled. 'Me too. Why do we have this holiday?' and sent it.

He looked up at Damien. "Well this sucks already."

Damien just nodded. "Tell me about it."

* * *

><p>"Lucie, you look lovely!" Hilde remarked, smiling stiffly. Lucie smoothed her dress again and smiled in the way that she usually did when she felt uncomfortable.<p>

"Thank you," She said, running her fingers together. Alex hated when Lucie used her 'adult voice'. It was all high pitched and sounded like honey running off a spoon.

"Hey grandma," Alex said, pulling the woman into a hug. She stiffened up and patted him on the back awkwardly. "What's up?"

He snapped a picture of her and then slung his camera around him so that it hung at his side.

She made a face, but managed to smile ruefully, raising an eyebrow as she took in her grandson's appearance.

"Alexander, you really should iron your shirt," she shook her head, "And your cuffs are going to be even more wrinkled now that you have them pushed up like that."

Alex ground his teeth together, but smiled.

"Nah, grandma, I just don't think the straight look is really my style," he chuckled under his breath, "No pun intended."

Shane laughed from where he was pulling on his coat on the other side of the room, and Reed shot him a look as though to say, 'Don't encourage him!'

Alex took another picture of her.

Hilde pursed her lips like she always did when she disapproved of something, but kept her expression even.

"You know Alexander, it's rude to take pictures of people without their permission."

Alex frowned and hugged his camera to him self-consciously, biting his lip.

"Well, we really need to get going if we want to get to Kurt and Blaine's on time," Reed said, breaking the tension, and sending his mother a look. She crossed her arms carefully over her chest and nodded to him.

Shane handed Lucie her jacket, and Alex walked over to get his own jacket from the coat rack in the corner, and pulled his phone out of his pocket to text Dane.

It was going to be a long day.

Julian tapped on Dane's shoulder while everyone was milling about. He bent down and said quietly, "We should talk."

Dane nodded and stood up. Damien glanced up from where he was still absorbed in texting Alice and said, "Don't gloat too much, Dane."

Dane rolled his eyes and walked to the end of the living room (tables were set up in the living room to accommodate everyone because the dining room was too small). They sat on a couch which was pushed up to the wall and Julian asked, "What did Damien mean, don't gloat too much?"

"Oh, I think just that I'm still with Alex and you were telling me he was probably unimportant," Dane said dismissively.

Julian nodded. "Yeah. I'm really glad you're happy though, Dane. Whether I was wrong or not. Though it bugs me that I was wrong…"

Dane just waved a hand. "It's okay, you helped."

Julian looked at him with concerned eyes. "Did I?"

Dane nodded. "Oh definitely."

Julian looked satisfied with himself. "But are you…alright now? You've been talking to a therapist right?"

"Yeah," Dane said in response to the therapy question. "She's good I guess."

"What do you mean, you guess?"

"I just don't really have anything to base it off of is all I meant."

"Is she helping you though?"

"Yeah."

"That's good." Julian looked satisfied. "So you're happy with…"

"Alex."

"Right, of course. You're happy with Alex."

"Very much so."

His phone vibrated and he looked down.

'You can feel the awkward with Lucie and Alice. I think Alice is going to snap and cut her head off or something.'

'I can imagine,' Dane typed back, shielding the screen from Julian's view. 'I'm jealous though. I'm tired of getting the happy question every five seconds.'

"Is that him?" Julian asked.

"Yeah," Dane said, feeling his cheeks get warm.

"I can tell from the look on your face," Julian said knowingly.

"Oh can you?" Dane teased, smiling a little.

"Yeah, you're already totally loosened up," Julian said. "It's a miracle!"

"That is rude," Dane said, fake-glaring. "You're being very rude to me."

"Jules." Logan came and set next to Julian. "Don't be rude to Dane."

Julian rolled his eyes but put his hand on Logan's leg possessively. "I wasn't, we were having a pleasant conversation."

"I feel like I'm missing something." Damien sidled up next to Dane and sat down next to him. "Honestly it freaks me out when you three talk."

Dane looked at him. "It should, Damien. It really should." He put on a fake evil smile.

"Wow, look who's in a good mood," Damien said, surprised.

"I'm always in a good mood," Dane said, giving Damien a look.

"Of course," Damien said, but this exchange did not go unnoticed by Julian or Logan, and they were about to comment on it when Derek showed up.

"Hope you're not talking about me?" he said lightly.

Dane looked down at his shirt, the sleeves long enough so that he could hold them in his hands, and this he did now, because with everyone here… It made him nervous.

As Julian responded, Dane's phone buzzed and he took it out. He turned it so Julian and Logan and his dad couldn't see it. Damien still could but that didn't really matter.

'At least they're worried about you. Try not to focus on it.'

'I know. I'm trying. Want to take bets on how long it'll be before someone brings up the elephant in the room? Five bucks says Bryce will bring it up in the first five minutes of dinner.'

"That's a sucker's bet," Damien whispered in Dane's ear, and Dane laughed softly.

"What's a sucker's bet?" Derek asked, now sitting on a chair he'd turned so it was facing the couch.

"Nothing," Dane said quickly, pocketing the phone.

"So secretive," Derek said jokingly, but he gave Dane a searching look. "And speaking of secretive," he said, eying first Logan, then Julian, then Damien, "I've held off on this for so long but I'd really like an explanation. Why did _none _of you-"

"Do we really have to talk about this _here_?" Dane asked quietly, pulling his sleeves even further into his hands, tightening his grip on the ends.

"No one's listening," Derek said, looking around.

"And everyone already knows," Dane said, looking at his shoes.

"Everyone does not know," Derek said, but none of them could think of anyone who didn't know.

"Derek," Damien said, feeling the need to apologize because he felt the most at fault, "I feel bad for not telling you, but I was just trying to be a loyal friend to Dane."

"A loyal friend would have told me," Derek said angrily. "He could have _died_."

"He wouldn't have died," Julian said fiercely.

"Can you guys talk a little quieter?" Dane asked, his voice just a whisper now.

"Oh for God's sake, Dane, everyone already _knows_," said a voice behind him.

He turned, already knowing who it was.

"Bryce…" Derek said warningly.

"What? I'm just easing his worries. Everyone knows, he doesn't have to hide it anymore."

Dane felt that if he held onto his sleeves any tighter his circulation would cut off.

"You're not helping, Bryce," Julian said, annoyed.

"He's just pointing out the situation," Logan said defensively.

"He's not helping it though," Julian replied, turning to his husband.

"He's _trying_ to help."

"He is not trying to help."

"Yes he is!"

"No he's not!"

"Guys," Damien said, just as Derek said, "Could you two please shut up for two seconds?"

"Bryce, say you're sorry to your brother," Derek said sternly once Julian and Logan had shut up.

"Sorry, Dane," Bryce said mockingly.

Dane didn't respond, just took his phone out of his pocket and held it in his hands along with his sleeves. Waiting for it to receive another text.

However, he didn't get another text before someone announced that dinner was ready and everyone awkwardly looked at each other before standing up. Derek was the only one who hoped they would continue the conversation later.

* * *

><p>After a sufficiently awkward car ride, Alex, Lucie, Reed, Shane, and Hilde arrived at Kurt and Blaine's house, where they had gone for Thanksgiving every year.<p>

They stood outside the doorway, and Lucie shook, but Alex could tell that it wasn't from the cold fall air. She bit her lip, and ran a finger through her hair self consciously, looking at the doorway as though it was some sort of death trap. He grabbed her arm, and forced her to look at him.

"Hey, Luce?" he asked, concerned. "You gonna be okay?"

She nodded her head, not looking at him.

"Yeah." She nodded again for good measure and smiled in his direction. "Why would I not be?"

Alex just stared at her. They both knew why, and Lucie shook her hands out in front of her as though they were covered in water and she wanted to dry them.

Just then the door opened, and Blaine stepped out with a huge grin on his face. He wore one of those corny looking winter sweaters with the snowflakes and deer on it, and Alex grinned, snapping a picture.

"Blaine!" his dad cried, practically tackling his brother into a hug. He picked him off of the ground and tousled his hair. "Look at you in your little sweater!"

Blaine blushed, pulling back and nudging Shane in the stomach.

"You're such an idiot."

Shane laughed, grinning a toothy grin down at his brother.

"You love me."

Reed followed after him, and smiled at Blaine too.

"Hi Blaine," he said, looking around. "Where's Kurt?" He always asked that, but the answer was always the same.

Blaine nodded toward the kitchen, and they both laughed knowing that on Thanksgiving, Kurt would be nowhere else.

Reed rushed down the hall, and a squeal was heard from the kitchen, presumably from Kurt. Everyone laughed. Blaine pulled Alex and Lucie into a collective hug automatically and nodded his welcome to Hilde.

"Alice is in the living room if you two want to go talk to her." He smiled hesitantly at Lucie, running a hand behind his back. "I think she'd really like that."

Lucie nodded absentmindedly, and Alex took hold of her hand, giving it a squeeze.

"Yeah, we'll go in there," he said, dragging Lucie along with him. "Talk to you later, Uncle Blaine!" he called, rounding the corner to the living room. The room was lit by the chandelier in the middle of it, and the only sound that could be heard was from the television were the football game was on.

Alex knew that Alice wasn't watching it. She hated football. He stole a glance at Lucie, who was frozen in her spot in the doorway of the living room.

"Come on, Luce, let's go." He walked into the room and plopped down on the couch, pulling his legs in an indian style. "Hey Cuz!" he cried, voice bleeding with forced cheerfulness, "What's the score?"

Alice looked up from where she was currently typing something rapidly into her bright pink iPhone and grinned at him, the way a spider might before eating a fly that was caught in its web. "I don't know _cuz_ I haven't really been watching." She turned to Lucie and motioned for her to sit down in the space next to her on the couch. "Lucie! I've been waiting for you to come! It's been so boring here!"

Lucie threw her a questioning look, but sat down carefully on the edge of the love seat, legs crossed.

"Hey Alice," she said simply, pushing her lips together and smiling as though she was at a meeting with the headmaster and not sitting on a couch with her cousin. "It's nice to see you too."

Alice leaned forward as though they were at a slumber party, pulling her legs under her and sitting her iPhone on the edge of the couch.

"Your hair looks so nice like that!" she nearly squealed, reaching over to run one of the curls through her hand. She giggled. "I was always so jealous of your hair, you know."

"My hair looks like this every day." Lucie looked around the room, at the pictures of her uncles and Alice lined on the walls, at the red oriental carpet, at the candles burning on the fireplace, anywhere but at Alice.

"Ohhhh!" Alex cried, covering his eyes dramatically from across the room where he was seemingly engrossed in the game. Both of the girls stopped mid-conversation and gawked at him. "Did you see that! That guy just got clear knocked out!" He motioned toward the screen hysterically, a look of amusement coloring his features. "Oh man. I'd hate for that to happen to me. I can't imagine someone knocking me out like that." He looked toward Alice, eyes icy. "Can you imagine that, Alice?"

All of the color ran out of Alice's cheeks, and she ran her tongue along her lip. "Don't jinx yourself, Alex."

Lucie raised an eyebrow at Alex and mouthed, 'what are you doing?' He didn't respond, but continued to be "engrossed" in the game. Lucie knew that he was eavesdropping.

"So, Lucie, did you hear about the new captain of the football team? He's a total hottie."

"Um." Lucie fidgeted in her seat. "No. I don't really watch football at all."

"Well he is."

"I heard he's a total hottie too, Luce," Alex mimicked a valley girl accent, and Alice shot daggers at him. If looks could kill, he'd be dead by the time dinner rolled around.

Lucie giggled despite herself, and then bit her lip to stop herself upon Alice's disapproving glare.

"Well I guess he really must be then, huh?"

Alice opened her mouth to speak when her phone buzzed, she jumped a little, but her startled expression slowly turned into a satisfied smirk. Lucie eyed her curiously, watching as she carefully unlocked the screen with her manicured nails and typing in the lock code.

"It's probably just Damien." She waved her hand dismissively, although the infliction of her voice didn't go unnoticed by Lucie. She felt her heart twist in her chest, and willed it to stop doing that whenever Damien's name was mentioned. Damien believed Alice over her. He didn't trust her. She wasn't talking to him, and that was that.

"Oh."

They were interrupted by a girl running into the room, a blur of a football jersey and long legs. She tackled Alex to the ground, pinning him to the couch. Alex gave a startled yelp and then pulled back to see who had attacked him. He felt strong, thin arms and saw straight brunette hair fall into his eyes.

"Babs!" he cried, hugging the girl on top of him. They both fell off and rolled onto the floor, giggling like idiots.

"Barbra!" Lucie cried, pulling the girl up from the floor and hugging her. She pulled back, grinning and examining her. "You're so old now! I haven't seen you since last year!"

"I'm still taller than you." The girl, Barbra, laughed, patting Lucie on the head. She turned toward Alice and pulled her off the couch and into an embrace.

"Hey sis!" she cried, cradling Alice back and forth. Alice frowned, patting Barbra's back and then awkwardly standing with her arms to her side as the other girl continued to embrace her.

"Hi Barbra."

Barbra pulled back, sitting down in Lucie's original place on the love seat and putting her feet over the side of the chair.

"I miss you at school!" she cried to Alex, throwing her hand to her hand to her forehead dramatically. "Harold Kramer just isn't the same without you and your obnoxious camera!"

Alex rolled his eyes, and stuck his tongue out at her.

"I was too good for that place," he joked, examining his fingernails and yawning. "Dalton's where it's at."

"You just wanted to be with your _boyfriend._" She made a kissy face and giggled, grabbing one of the throw pillows from the floor and pulling it to her chest.

Alex blushed.

A short woman of only about five feet came up behind the couch and walked into the room, heels clicking on the wood.

"Hello Alice!" The woman grinned, her cheeks lighting up. She leaned down and kissed Alice on both sides of her cheek as though she was from Europe. Alice smiled, a genuine smile, which surprised both Alex and Lucie. They hadn't seen her smile like that in a very long time.

"Hi mom." She looked up at the woman adoringly, and she sat down next to both of her daughters on the couch. Lucie couldn't help but smile at the scene. It was nice that Alice could have a motherly figure in her life. In fact, it made Lucie slightly jealous that Alice was so close with her surrogate, when Lucie had no idea who her own was.

"Hello Alex, Lucie," The women nodded toward both of them, crossing her leg delicately over her other. "You've both grown up so much."

"Hey Rachel," Alex said, settling back onto the couch. He noticed a taller man walk into the room behind her, wearing an identical jersey to his daughter's. "Hey Finn."

"Hey Alex."

Finn sat down next to him on the couch.

"What's the score?"

"21 to 7."

"Nice."

Alex looked down at his phone as it buzzed in his lap. It was from Dane of course. He smiled and discreetly viewed the message, shielding it with his hand. He hated when other people looked at his texts.

'_I can imagine. I'm jealous though. I'm tired of getting the happy question every five seconds.'_

He sighed and typed back, 'At least they're worried about you. Try not to focus on it.'

* * *

><p>Dane was sitting between Damien and his dad, if it could get any more awkward he'd gladly keel over and die. His dad kept making side comments to him as if they were having some father-son bonding experience and not eating Thanksgiving dinner. Dane wished he was at Alex's, because the Lucie-Alice tension would be entertaining and not excruciating like this was.<p>

Bryce was across the table, and try as he might, his dad would not listen to him. Either someone else would talk over him, or he would say the wrong thing and his dad would turn away and ignore him purposefully. And yes, maybe he wasn't the best at coming up with conversation topics but didn't he have a right to just as much of his dad's attention as Dane, who did all sorts of shit to get attention and then acted as if he didn't want it?

During one particular lull in the conversation, during which Bryce saw Damien and his dad laughing at something Dane had said and Dane sitting there with the tiniest of pathetic smiles on his face, Bryce said loudly, "Dane has a boyfriend."

Everyone turned to look not at Bryce, but at Dane, who immediately turned his attention to his hands.

"Yes, we heard," said Dane's grandpa. "What's his name?"

Dane was blushing and didn't respond. Bryce wondered what the hell was wrong with him.

"It's um, it's…Alan," Bryce said. "Or…Adam."

Everyone at the table froze. Logan squeezed Julian's hand, Derek looked over at Julian and Logan, and all the respective parents looked toward their children.

"It's Alex," Dane said quickly. "Alex."

Bryce narrowed his eyes, wondering what he'd said to make everyone so freaked out.

"Well," Julian said shakily, "that's a relief."

"Alex is a very nice boy," Derek said, clearing his throat but wrapping his arm protectively around Casey.

"How long have you two been together?" his grandma asked.

Dane glanced at Damien. "Uh, a few months."

"December," Bryce said loudly, and everyone looked at him. "But they broke up like two weeks later and then got back together like a month after that."

"Bryce," Casey said, "she asked _Dane_, not you."

"Dane lied," Bryce said, looking meaningfully at Dane, who looked at his lap and prayed to whoever was listening that this could all end.

"Okay, who wants more turkey?" Derek asked, lifting the platter from in front of him and looking around the table.

* * *

><p>Kurt stood at the head of the table with his hands on his hips, apron tied around his waist, looking accomplished.<p>

"It is not easy cooking for twenty one on Thanksgiving," he groaned, running a hand across his brow, as though wiping off non-existent sweat. "You all better appreciate it."

"Oh we appreciate it, Kurt," Burt responded, sitting down in his seat next to Carol. "It's better than the lousy microwavable mash potatoes I used to whip up when you were younger." He laughed at himself and proceeded to scoop mashed potatoes onto his dish.

Alex sat down at the table next to Barbra, talking about nothing in particular. Lucie sat next to Alice, because she didn't have anywhere else to sit. Alice hadn't stopped texting Damien the whole time that she had been there, and it drove Lucie completely mad.

"So I heard Alex has a boyfriend now," said Blaine, raising an eyebrow at his nephew from across the table. Alex blushed, and shoved his phone in his pocket after sending another reply to said boyfriend.

"You heard right." He rolled his eyes, scooping stuffing onto his plate.

"Is he cute?" asked Kurt, thoroughly amused and sending a grin in his husband's direction.

Alex groaned. "Uncle Kurt!"

"They're honestly sickening, Papa," said Alice, sending another text to Damien.

Kurt laughed appreciatively and took Blaine's hand.

"That's what you say about us too, Alice."

"Speaking of sickening," said Alex, looking around the table, "You want to hear a story about something that happened in the hallway last week? Alice was there too. She should appreciate it." He threw a glare at Alice, who was pretending not to listen as she used her fork to push around the food on her plate.

"Oh? You mean the school that you aren't too good for?" asked Barbra jokingly, taking a bite out of her roll.

"Shutup," Alex laughed, nudging her in the side, "Anyway," he made sure he had everyone's attention before continuing, "This kid in the hallway last week totally tackled the other kid from behind. I mean, that's crazy enough, but you should have seen this kid struggle, and the other kid would just not give up!" He looked straight at Alice again as he told the "story." Reed groaned, running a hand through his hair. He knew about the situation on Halloween, but he hadn't actually talked to Kurt or Blaine about it. He doubted that they knew, and he didn't want to tell them. Alice had been in enough trouble the last year.

"And eventually this kid got knocked into the locker and passed out!" Alex flailed his hands around as though reenacting the whole scene with sign language. "Isn't that something? What type of kid would actually knock someone unconscious in the middle of school?"

He sat back in his chair, as though telling the "story" had worn him out and smiled, accomplished.

The table exchanged various looks of confusion, and then Burt cut in.

"You know I think you should probably tell someone about that, Al."

"Oh I don't think they can do anything about it." He shrugged, never taking his eyes off of Alice. "I just feel bad for the poor kid that was knocked unconscious."

Alice scowled and bit into her carrot. Lucie giggled under her breath and covered it with a cough.

"Okay!" Shane cut in, trying to change the topic, "Does anyone want me to cut them some turkey? It's really good by the way, Kurt. Really good."

Reed threw Alex a look, and he shrugged innocently.

* * *

><p>"Still texting Alice?" Dane asked as people cleared their plates around them.<p>

"Yeah," Damien said, slipping his phone back into his pocket.

"Why?" Dane asked.

"What do you mean, why?" Damien shrugged. "I like her."

"But why?"

"You know why."

"No, actually, I don't."

There was a silence.

"I'm sorry," Dane said a few moments of nothing. "I just…I would've chosen Lucie. Personally. But that's just me," he added quickly.

Damien shrugged. "We're just different I guess."

"I guess we are… So you've got your stuff to come back to my house tonight, right?" Damien would be staying at Dane's house because his dads were flying out to LA that night.

"Yeah, it's in the car."

"I got this like, really buttery popcorn, it's like Double Butter or something and Bryce said he wouldn't disturb us if we watched TV in the TV room. And I got all this scary shit like Dead By Dawn and Not Asleep." His eyes were bright as he talked about their plans for that night.

"That sounds awesome, I've really wanted to see Dead By Dawn." Damien grinned and then they were interrupted by a random relative coming and hugging them both, giving Dane an extra squeeze which wiped the smile off his face.

Later, on the way out to the car, Damien and Dane lagged behind the rest of the family. "Why do you hate it that they care so much?" Damien asked.

"I don't know," Dane said, his hands in his pockets. "I just don't want to be treated so…fragile. Like at any second I could break."

Damien nodded in understanding. "I get that."

"I'm just glad Thanksgiving is over."

**Be sure to review if you liked it, and check out our tumblr page at forgoodfic (dot) tumblr (dot) com.**


	21. Chapter 21: Undisclosed Desires

**AN: I hope that some people are still reading! Here's Chapter 21 of For Good, we're hoping to get the chapters quicker now since NaNoWriMo is over! Thank you to everyone so far for reading and reviewing our story! It means a lot to us! Helen wrote the parts with Dalex toward the end and the Damien/Alice scene. Caitlin wrote the beginning scene and the songs that Bryce and Jane sing. **

**The songs used in this chapter are: Undisclosed Desires by Muse, sung by Alex, Moves Like Jagger, sung by Bryce, and Oscar Wilde, sung by Jane.**

**Please give us feedback if you're reading! It really means a lot to us to know what you think. :)**

**Chapter 21: Undisclosed Desires**

So where's Prince Charming today?" Bryce slid into the seat next to Alex at lunch, wearing a stupid smirk as though he had said something much more clever than he actually had. Alex stopped eating his spaghetti and raised an eyebrow, lifting his camera to snap a picture of the younger boy.

Bryce made a face.

"Do you always have to do that?"

"Do you always have to be such an asshole to everyone?"

He shrugged, pushing the sleeves of his shirt up. "So where is he?"

"He stayed home today," Alex said, trying to keep his voice from portraying any sort of emotion. He twisted a strand of spaghetti on his fork. "He texted me earlier."

"And?" Bryce leaned over in his chair.

"And what?"

"Why?"

Alex rolled his eyes. "Why didn't _you_ stay home?"

Bryce didn't answer. Alex looked around the room for lack of anything better to do, pretending to watch for Ryan and Maddie.

"He's such a fucking drama king," Bryce grumbled, taking a bite of his pizza. "Like he's so special that he doesn't have to go to school like the rest of us." Alex decided to ignore him, but he continued talking. "He's going to be so behind. He's already missed 5 days this month."

Alex turned back toward him, mouth slightly agape. "He's not being dramatic, Bryce," He lowered his voice, leaning down closer to the other boy, "He has _depression_."

Bryce shrugged, as though he had gotten a problem wrong in math class and wasn't talking about the mental condition of his own brother.

"So what? Everyone has problems." He rolled his eyes, "You don't think I don't want to be here right now?"

Alex didn't answer. He played with the screen of his cell phone, unlocking and relocking the screen, waiting for Dane to text him, wondering if he was okay.

"Do you think he's doing something stupid?"

Alex looked up. Bryce was wringing his hands together under the table. His foot was tapping against the tile to an inconsistent rhythm. "You don't think he's going to do anything bad, right?"

Alex opened his mouth, closed it again, and opened it another time, unsure of how to respond to the question that had been on his mind all day. Coming out of Bryce's mouth it sounded like a new revelation.

"You're worried about him." A small smile slipped onto Alex's features, and he lifted the camera to snap a picture of the other boy again. Bryce sat up straight, and his feet stopped tapping against the floor, cheeks slightly flushed.

"Why would I be worried about him?"

The words came out rushed together as one word, and Alex leaned his arm against the table, resting his head in his hand.

"Oh gee I don't know," He drawled, flipping his unoccupied hand around. "Maybe because he's your _brother_?"

Bryce bit his lip.

"I just don't want him to kill himself, okay?"

"I know."

"I know we fight all the time, but I don't want him dead." He looked toward Alex, searching his eyes, as though making sure he wasn't going to tell anyone about some sort of top secret spy plan, and not that he cared about his brother.

"I know."

"Good." Bryce leaned back in his chair, looking as though a huge weight had been lifted off of him. "So how are you guys?"

It was a strange question coming from Bryce, and Alex had to take a moment to process whether he was being sarcastic or not.

"Dane and me?"

"No," Bryce rolled his eyes, licking his bottom lip, "Your other boyfriend."

"Oh! That one!" Alex teased, earning a glare from Bryce. "We're good. It's our anniversary next month." He didn't know why he was telling this to Bryce, but he just liked to hear the sentence come out of his mouth.

"I know," Bryce responded instantly, as though Alex had told him the name of the president.

"Yeah, I'm pretty excited." He smiled to himself, playing with the sleeves of his blazer in a fashion that made Bryce want to barf.

"Why?"

"Because we've been dating a year." Alex rolled his eyes and took another bite of his pasta. "People tend to get excited about that."

Bryce's expression remained blank and then his mouthed formed an 'o.'

"Are you finally going to give it up or something?"

Alex's mouth dropped, and he turned abruptly to look at Bryce, eyes wide.

"W-what?" he sputtered. Bryce crossed his leg over his other, while simultaneously crossing his arms.

"Come on, everything about you screams 'virgin!'" He made a motion with his hands, as though the word was written in the sky. Alex bit his tongue, about ready to sock Bryce in the face.

"And everything about you doesn't?" he asked, raising an eyebrow and looking Bryce up and down. Bryce's eyes narrowed, and he shrugged.

"You've been dating for a year and you've never fucked." He raised his eyebrows. "That's really sad, dude. It must be because you're about as sexy as the Easter Bunny and you take pictures every five seconds."

Alex frowned, crossing his hands over his chest self-consciously and looking down at his camera.

"That's not true," he grumbled, biting down on his bottom lip. It wasn't true. Dane thought he was attractive, right? There was that one time with the ice cream as proof. He had to. He said he would just wait till he was ready, right? He wasn't upset about it, right? A million questions ran through Alex's mind.

"All I know is, if I was Dane, I would get bored."

Alex opened his mouth to respond as Lucie, Maddie and another girl made their way to the table and sat across from them.

"Hey Alex, Bryce," Lucie said, placing her tray down next to the new girl as Maddie did the same. She eyed Bryce and Alex curiously and frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Alex smiled as best he could, turning toward the new girl who had sat at the table. He recognized her instantly. "Well look who it is! Little Jane Randall all grown up!" He grinned.

"It's been a while, huh?" she responded, raising an eyebrow. Her hair was short and brunette, curled as though she had stepped out of the 'Kissing on VJ-day' picture. "Maybe our dads need to have more playdates." She laughed, the sort of laugh that sounded like it came out of a baby doll when you pulled a string.

"Jane's going to be sitting with us now," Lucie explained, mostly to Bryce. Maddie nodded.

"She transferred into Royal," she explained, "Came to the darkside."

Jane rolled her eyes.

"I was a born Royal. Prima was just too boring." She shrugged, opening her chocolate milk uninterestedly.

There was a pause and then Lucie said, "Where's Dane?" Her voice was concerned and her eyes searched Alex, looking for the answer she wanted.

Alex just shook his head. Not the answer she wanted. "He skipped today. He texted me earlier but I think he's asleep right now."

Lucie looked down at her tray, trying to think of something to say but she couldn't.

"He'll be back tomorrow," Alex said nervously, playing with his phone.

Lucie nodded. "Yeah," she agreed.

Meanwhile, Jane was looking at Bryce who looked annoyed as usual. "You look like someone pissed in your cheerios and then forced you to eat them."

Maddie giggled, and Lucie looked around like she didn't know whether to laugh or feel bad.

"What?" Bryce looked up as though he didn't hear her correctly.

"Correction." She raised her hand, stopping him from saying anything else, looking nothing but extremely amused. Her eyes lit up as though this sort of conversation brought her the greatest pleasure. "Someone pissed in your cheerios, asked you to eat them, and then the piss went through your system and caused your hearing to be impaired."

Bryce's face went red, and he pursed his lips, unsure of how to respond.

"What the hell is your problem?" He crossed his arms over his chest childishly.

"I'm just _saying_!" She leaned back in her chair, grabbing an apple from her tray and twirling it in her fingers delicately, "I don't think I got your name, by the way. I'm Jane Randall, if you didn't already hear it. I thought I should probably repeat it again what with your hearing impairment."

Bryce ground his teeth together. Alex could practically feel the embarrassment radiating from his general direction._ What goes around comes around…_

"Yeah, I heard," He snapped, "I'm Bryce Seigerson. If you didn't already hear _that._"

Jane rolled her eyes.

"Actually I didn't. Say it again?" She stretched across the table, hand around her ear.

"You're so weird." Bryce rolled his eyes, and Jane sat back, satisfied.

"Thank you for noticing!"

"So!" Alex cut in, snapping a picture of Jane. "Is your dad still touring for his book?" he asked, pretending to be more interested than he actually was. "I heard it was on its way to becoming a bestseller."

"Of course," She waved her hand dismissively, "He's absolutely ecstatic about it. It's all he talks about all the time."

"Your dad wrote a book?" Bryce asked, trying to sound as uninterested as he possibly could. "Is it any good?"

"It's freaking amazing, if I do say so myself," She smiled, "And not just because he's my dad."

"What's it about?"

"Far off places, daring sword fights," Jane smiled, raising an eyebrow in the way that had started to make Bryce annoyed, "-magic spells."

"Beauty and the Beast, right?" He rolled his eyes as though to tell her she wasn't funny, but she only grinned.

"Someone get this guy a gold star," she replied, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"You know, you really aren't as funny as you think you are," he grumbled. Alex was playing with his phone again, and Lucie had moved next to Maddie so that she could be out of the line of fire.

"Neither are you."

She looked him straight in the eye, and his mouth dropped a little, not sure how to respond. Why was she being so rude? He only just met her. What did he do to her?

He was about to respond when Jane turned away from him and angled herself toward Alex.

"So you're dating that Dane kid right…"

* * *

><p>"No." Dane stalked across the room, grabbing his brother by the arm and turning him around. "There's no way that you're auditioning for the Warblers."<p>

Bryce frowned and rolled his eyes, as though he was expecting the exact response from his brother.

"And why not?" He raised his voice, leaning onto one of his hips. "If _you_ can get in, it must be pretty easy, right?"

Dane sucked in a breath, feeling his chest tighten in the way that it always did whenever Bryce insulted him. He knew that it shouldn't get to him, but it did sometimes, and he felt like an idiot for it.

"You called it a 'gay little singing group' last time you came to visit!" He waved his hand around, trying to keep his voice down as low as possible. He grabbed hold of Bryce's blazer sleeve and dragged him toward the hallway. "Why the _hell_ would you want to be part of it? If this is some sort of plan to-"

"It's not some sort of plan!" Bryce jerked his arm away from Dane's grasp, stepping back into the room. "I just think it looks like fun, okay?"

Dane raised an eyebrow, disbelieving, and tugged on the ends of his blazer sleeves. "You're so full of shit."

"I am not!" Bryce groaned, running a hand through his hair. "Like you can talk about being full of shit, Mr. I Stayed Home All Day And Then Came To Warbler Practice Perfectly Fine."

Dane dug his fingers into his sleeves. He already felt bad enough about skipping the day without Bryce bringing it to his attention. He opened his mouth to speak as Harvey came into the room and announced it was time to start.

All of the people auditioning sat in a row of chairs in front of the rest of the group. Among them were Alex, Bryce, and Jane. Jane sat next to Alex with Bryce on the other side of him. She flashed him a smile as Harvey talked, and Bryce raised an eyebrow, surprised to see her auditioning.

"I didn't know you wanted to be in the Warblers," said Alex to Bryce, looking him over with a skeptical eye. "Are you sick or something?"

"Shutup," Bryce nudged Alex in the side with his elbow, "I just thought, 'If Dane can do it, why can't I?'" He shrugged, wringing his hands together.

Jane leaned across from where she was sitting next to Alex.

"Nervous?" She turned to both Alex and Bryce, smiling as though nothing was happening. They both exchanged a look. Alex nodded shyly and Bryce shrugged.

"Aren't you nervous?" he whispered, looking straight ahead.

Jane shrugged, grinning brilliantly at him.

"I'm an actress." She sighed dramatically, putting a hand to her heart. "I've been in more productions than you can count. I don't get nervous anymore."

If Bryce was impressed he didn't show it, he continued looking ahead as though he hadn't heard her at all.

Harvey came to the front of the room and asked who wanted to go first. The other hopeful Warblers-to-be in the row exchanged glances with each other for a while, no one wanting to be the one to go first.

"I'll go."

Everyone turned toward Bryce who had spoken up.

Harvey smiled and Bryce moved to the front of the room and motioned for the Warbler handling the speakers to press play.

Alex noticed that he didn't really look nervous at all as he did before. He was wearing that usual cocky grin that he always wore, and Alex wondered how he was always so confident.

The music started, and the familiar whistle like tune filled the air. Dane shook his head, not wanting to watch. Alex rolled his eyes. Moves Like Jagger, of course Bryce would sing a song like Moves Like Jagger.

_Just shoot for the stars if it feels right_

_Then aim for my heart, if you feel like_

_And take me away_

_And make it okay_

_I swear I'll behave. _

Dane's head shot up when his brother started singing. He was actually _good_. Dane had never actually heard Bryce legitimately sing before, but he had to admit that he wasn't bad at all. For a brief moment Dane felt his heart stop in his chest. If Bryce was good, then he would get in, and if he got in, then he would constantly be there to torture Dane.

Damien looked over at him, his face was completely shocked, mouth dropped. He whispered to Dane, "Did you know he could sing?"

Dane shook his head and looked up at Bryce again.

_You wanted control, so we waited_

_I put on a show, now we're naked_

_You say I'm a kid_

_My ego is big_

_I don't give shit. _

He turned toward Lucie and winked and she blushed, turning her face down, pretending that he hadn't looked at her at all. But he had, and in fact, he was mostly singing the song to her. It didn't go unnoticed by most people in the room, and Damien shifted in his seat uncomfortably. Alice rolled her eyes next to him as she watched.

Bryce owned the front of the room, swinging his hips in a way that you could tell he knew he was hot shit, and quite a few of the girls eyes were wide as they watched. Every move of his body and flick of the tongue had raw sex appeal.

Alex shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Why couldn't _he _be like that? He would probably get up there and look stupid.

_Take me by the tongue and I'll know you_

_Kiss me till your drunk and I'll show you_

_` All them moves like Jagger _

_I've got them moves like Jagger _

_I got them moves like Jagger. _

Although there was no denying that Bryce was amazing, it made everyone in the room feel a little uncomfortable. Lucie hadn't looked from her shoes in a very long time, and her eyes were about the size of pizzas.

Bryce was practically seducing her with his eyes even though she wasn't even looking at him anymore. Every once in a while she looked up to see if he was still looking at her, and he was.

She felt like everyone's eyes were on her. She knew that Bryce had a crush on her, and he was a cute kid, but this was a little bit creepy.

Damien watched the exchange and pursed his lips.

Jane nudged Alex in the side and leaned over to whisper in his ear. "He's so full of himself, it's perfect."

Alex laughed under his breath. "Look at Lucie," he whispered back, biting his lip to stop himself from falling over the chair in a fit of giggles. "She looks like she might melt into a puddle of embarrassment or something."

When Bryce finished singing, he licked his lips and thanked Harvey, then sat back down in his seat crossing his arms across his chest looking accomplished.

"Pretty good, huh?" he asked Alex, mouth turned up in that boyish grin that he always seemed to wear. Alex scoffed.

"You were okay, but there were _other_ people in the room you know, other than my sister." He tilted his head to the side, giving him a look. Bryce shrugged innocently.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Alright," Harvey said, lifting his clipboard up that had the list of names of the people auditioning. "That was an _interesting_ performance," He cleared his throat, and straightened his tie as though it was hot in the room. "Who wants to go next?"

Jane stood up and flounced to the center of the floor like an elf on Christmas, with an extra spring her step. Her skirt danced as she went, matching the bounce of her curly hair.

She clasped her hands behind her back and stood up straight, smiling serenely.

The music started, a choppy indie rock beat. Lucie smiled and Maddie held up her camera from the audience. Although Maddie wasn't in the Warblers, ever since Jane had moved into Royal house, the three of them had gotten to be close friends, especially since Lucie already knew Jane.

_Episodes and parallels _

_Don't you want the invitation?_

_Big bright accent, catty smile_

_Oscar Wilde confrontation. _

Alex smiled, covering his lips with his hands. It was only natural that Jane would sing a song about an author, with her dad. She was probably _reading_ Oscar Wilde when she was 6.

She had a soft sort of voice that was nice to listen to and could probably lull you into a peaceful slumber, but it had a rough sound on the lower notes that made it perfect for the song. It was an interesting sound, something that was definitely good, but not boastful. Unique. It fit her personality beautifully, thought Alex.

_Oh. Live like it's the style._

_Woah_

_We waltz on your front porch._

_We are all our own devil _

_We are all our devil_

_And we make this world our hell._

She was certainly theatrics, shutting her eyes and getting into the music, as though she was in a Broadway show. By watching her you knew the meaning to the song. Her facial expression was tortured and sad, yet biting, showing the sad truth behind the lyrics.

_Porcelain teacups decorate_

_Tables and their conversation_

_Beauty pageants all the time_

_Is running out, the time is running out._

_Live like it's the style. _

She twirled around on her toes swiftly, landing in a stance with hands on her hips. Alex's smile grew. She was _certainly_ an actress as she said before, and he felt as though he was watching a musical number rather than an audition.

_We waltz on your front porch_

_We are all our own devil _

_We are all our own devil_

_And we make this world our hell. _

She finished up the song by bowing theatrically and the other Warblers laughed, clapping loudly and whistling.

She returned to her seat and flashed Bryce a look.

"I told you I was an actress."

"You were _okay_." He sighed, smiling begrudgingly.

Harvey then called Alex's name. Alex stood up and walked unsteadily to the front of the room, trying not to let his hands shake at his sides. He wasn't a nervous or shy person but he also wasn't the best singer ever. The only reason he was doing this was because Dane loved Warblers and he wanted to be a supportive boyfriend and also he missed Dane when he was at Warbler practice.

Standing in front of everyone, the open floor under his feet, he looked around at everyone, at Dane, who gave him a smile and a thumbs-up, and Damien, sitting next to Dane, who nodded encouragingly, and Bryce, who rolled his eyes at him, and Lucie, who grinned…

Biting his lip, he signaled to the boy sitting next to the speakers to start his song. As the beats filled the room, and Alex stood there, his confidence slowly went up as the light of recognition went on in some people's eyes. Including his boyfriend's.

Alex watched Dane carefully as he started singing, watching for his reaction.

_I know you've suffered,  
>But I don't want you to hide,<br>It's cold and loveless,  
>I won't let you be denied<em>

Dane carefully controlled his expression, allowing his eyebrows to go up only a fraction, his lips part only a bit, and he tried very, very hard not to even listen at all. _Think about dead puppies, think about old fat women, think about something unappealing…_

_Soothing,_  
><em>I'll make you feel pure,<em>  
><em>Trust me,<em>  
><em>You can be sure<em>

Alex scanned the room because he couldn't _just_ sing to Dane, and it occurred to him that he should be moving around or doing _something _but he couldn't think of what so he just stood there and sang the song.

_I want to reconcile the violence in your heart_  
><em>I want to recognize your beauty's not just a mask,<em>  
><em>I want to exorcise the demons from your past,<em>  
><em>I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart<em>

Dane's cheeks were getting red, he could feel it but of course he couldn't stop it, dammit he hated that, it was not sexy at all, not like Alex…

Holy shit though. Alex was standing there, looking so adorable and sexy at the same time, and Dane wanted to 'show him how it was done.' _It's just a song, _he told himself, but…

And suddenly he was very very afraid of having a little _problem_. So he looked down at the floor and tried not to listen to Alex's voice but it was very hard.

_You trick your lovers,_  
><em>That you're wicked and divine,<em>  
><em>You may be a sinner,<em>  
><em>But your innocence is mine<em>

Alex looked at Bryce who was looking at Dane who was looking at the floor, and when Bryce turned back to Alex, Alex just raised his eyebrows in an 'I told you so' way.

_Please me,_  
><em>Show me how it's done,<em>  
><em>Tease me,<em>  
><em>You are the one<em>

"Dead puppies…" Damien whispered in Dane's ear, and Dane just made a face at his shoes.

_I want to reconcile the violence in your heart,_  
><em>I want to recognize your beauty's not just a mask,<em>  
><em>I want to exorcise the demons from your past,<em>  
><em>I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart<em>

Alex's cheeks were coloring deeply as the song came to a close, and he felt all eyes on him, and he tried to figure out if he was good, bad, or just weird. Some people would glance at Dane and then Alex felt bad because he knew that Dane didn't like attention. So Alex started walking around, leaning on the piano, standing up again, spinning around a music stand, anything to get people to look at him instead of Dane.

_Please me,_  
><em>Show me how it's done,<em>  
><em>Trust me,<em>  
><em>You can be sure<em>

Dane really truly hoped this was a sign, Alex saying that he actually wanted to satisfy the undisclosed desires in Dane's heart, but he'd learned that hoping for anything was bad. He glanced back up at Alex, who was now actually moving around awkwardly, and tried not to think about sex. Which was hard because he'd been thinking about sex _a lot _lately. More than usual.

_I want to reconcile the violence in your heart,_  
><em>I want to recognize your beauty's not just a mask,<em>

_I want to exorcise the demons from your past,  
>I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart<em>

The song ended and people started clapping and Alex practically ran to a seat next to Dane. He sat and took Dane's hand and looked at his boyfriend, who looked back with wide eyes.

"How was it?" he whispered.

"Good, it was really good," Dane said, squeezing his hand.

* * *

><p>Damien swung his and Alice's hands, intertwined, between them, and Alice grinned, her heels clicking against the floor as they left Warbler Hall.<p>

Neither of them said anything as they walked down the hallway, filled only with Warblers, some milling about but most of them walking in the direction of their Houses, ready to start a night of studying.

"So I have a history test and a bio test tonight," Damien said, just to make conversation.

"That sucks," Alice replied. "So you aren't coming over?"

"No, I will," Damien said quickly. "I just need to study and stuff first. Then I'll be there. Besides, Alex is coming over to _my_ room and I do not want to be in the vicinity at all especially after that song…" He made a face.

Alice laughed. "Well. I don't blame you. He was pretty…" She raised her eyebrows to indicate what exactly Alex was.

Damien found himself wondering what Lucie had thought of the performance, but he wouldn't get to know probably… He felt that familiar pang, the dull pain in his stomach, and he knew it to be regret.

But he and Alice…they'd been together for years…he couldn't just forget about her that easily, could he?

No, of course he couldn't.

And he and Lucie were just friends…they _were_ friends, at least…until, of course, he'd stuck up for Alice in the attic on Halloween. But he'd just felt like he needed to, and no one seemed to understand that, not even _Dane_. Alice had been sick when they broke up…

Damien was sick of turning all of this over in his mind, so he turned toward Alice and kissed her cheek, smiling. "I love you, Alice," he said, and Alice beamed back.

"I love you too, Damien."

* * *

><p>"For once I just want to do well on <em>one <em>test this year," Dane said, spilling two aspirin pills into his hand and popping them into his mouth. He brought a plastic cup of water up to his mouth and swallowed them, then poured the rest of the water out into the sink and left the bathroom. Alex was sitting cross-legged on Dane's bed, and Dane went to the bed and laid down with his head in Alex's lap.

Alex made a sympathetic noise, and Dane groaned. "I hope that works," he said, referring to the aspirin.

"It will," Alex said, running his hands through Dane's hair. "That's its job. To get rid of your headache."

Dane looked up at Alex. He blinked and tried to decide what he should say about the interesting song choice for auditions. He debated for a moment but it made his head hurt even more so he just said, "Why did you sing that song?"

Alex looked surprised that he'd asked, and then embarrassed. "Uh…well…I…"

"Say it," Dane snapped, and then instantly felt bad so he reached up and took one of Alex's hands and squeezed it and let his fingers trail across Alex's forearm. But then he felt that his sleeve was getting pulled up too far so he had to pull back quickly and put his hand at his side again, feeling shitty.

"Your…I just thought maybe you were getting bored with me." Alex said this all very quickly on one breath.

"Come again?" Dane said, surprised and not sure if he'd actually heard Alex correctly.

"Well it's just. We've almost been together for a year. And we still…haven't…" He dropped his voice to a whisper. "Done anything more than make out."

Dane sat up rapidly, and all the blood rushed to his head and he instantly felt dizzy, but he ignored it and said, "Why would you think that I would be bored?"

"I don't know." Alex didn't want to mention that it was Bryce who had said that Dane might be bored because he didn't want to give Dane any more reasons to hate Bryce.

"Was it something I did?" Dane asked, clearly freaking out.

"No! No no no it wasn't. No it was just, I thought _maybe_ you might be getting bored."

"I'm not," Dane said quickly and harshly, and then leaned in to peck Alex on the cheek and, more softly, said, "I'm not getting bored with you. I said we'd do it when you're ready."

"I just. I don't know what's wrong with me!" Alex exclaimed, throwing his hands up and gesturing wildly. "I don't know why I'm so…scared. And nervous. I just don't want to be bad at it, I don't want you to be upset up with me because I'm-"

Dane's expression of horror caused Alex to stop talking. There was a tense silence and then Dane said, low and strained, "Do you really think I would be upset with you because you aren't good _in bed_?"

"N-no," Alex said, stumbling over the one-syllable word and ruining everything.

"You do." Dane seemed disgusted, though not with Alex, but with himself. "I know I've been a really shitty boyfriend and a total ass lately and believe me, I don't want to be, but-"

"You haven't been a shitty boyfriend _or_ a total ass lately," Alex said earnestly. "That's what you _think_ but remember when you carried my backpack? Or when you got me that chocolate bar for no reason? Or when you helped me with my English homework even though you were so tired? Or when-"

"What about when I made you wait outside Stuart House for fifteen minutes before Damien came out and said I wasn't coming to school? What about when I missed our date last Friday because I slept through my alarm? What about that time I made you watch while I cried for two hours straight about nothing? What-"

Alex pulled him into a hug and stopped him talking. "I didn't mind any of those things. You do the best you can do, you try so hard to be the perfect boyfriend, and just because you aren't perfect 100% of the time doesn't mean you aren't at least 99% of it."

Dane sighed. "I don't care if you're ready for sex or not," he said into Alex's shoulder. "I really don't. I'm lucky just to be your boyfriend at all."

"And I'm lucky to have you," Alex said, rubbing Dane's back in large circles. "I love you."

"I love you too."


	22. Chapter 22: One Year

**Chapter 22**

**AN: Hey everyone! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing our chapters thus far! It means a lot to us to read your feedback, so please keep reviewing if you're reading and check out our tumblr page! Helen wrote the scenes with Dane singing at sectionals, Dane and Bryce with their parents, and the ending Dalex scene. Caitlin wrote the Lucie/Damien scene, The Dress and Tie Scene, the Dane/Lucie scene and the Rane/Alex/Lucie scene. **

**Songs used were: Dress and Tie - sung by Damien and Lucie, and Teenagers- sung by Dane.**

**Chapter 22: One Year**

"So what are you thinking about for Dress and Tie?" Dane asked, standing up from where he had been in a butterfly position on the floor of the stage. He crossed his arms over his chest and looked at Lucie, who was still down on the floor stretching her hamstrings.

He angled an arm down to help her up, which she took gratefully.

"I had a few ideas," Dane continued, "but nothing big. You're usually the one that comes up with the best stuff anyway." He pulled at the sleeves of his sweatshirt, wrapping the fabric around his hands. Lucie walked across the stage to get her iPod from her backpack. She giggled because Dane was never sure what he wanted to do as far as choreography went.

"I'm sure whatever you have is better than what I do," Lucie admitted, walking back across the stage toward Dane. "I haven't really thought about it a lot."

Dane raised an eyebrow. "Is it because you're singing it with Dami-"

"No." Lucie pulled at the strings of her sweatshirt, sifting through her iPod for the song. "I just haven't had time to listen to it much."

Dane nodded, although he didn't buy the act. The music started and he moved across the stage, hand extended to Lucie.

"So I was thinking it would look cool if everyone started out dancing in partners." He reached to grab Lucie's hand, but she pulled it back.

"I don't know. I don't think we should do partner dances this time."

Dane frowned and pulled his hand back. Lucie smiled apologetically and cleared her throat.

"I mean, we always do partner dances," She amended, "-and I just think we should mix it up a little bit."

Dane shook his head. "You just don't want to dance with him."

"That's not-" Dane gave her a look as though to say 'really?' and she sighed in defeat, "-fine."

"The song _is_ called Dress and Tie, Luce. That kind of implies dancing will be involved."

Lucie wrapped her arms around her body.

"Maybe there're two people who are dancing alone." She looked down to the floor and examined the woodwork. "It's like symbolic."

Dane gave her another look and she groaned in exasperation. He moved across the stage to grab the iPod from the floor and paused it, sitting down on the edge of the stage. He motioned for Lucie to sit beside him.

"Come on, Lucers, let's talk about it."

Lucie bit her lip, looking only slightly up from the floor.

"Okay," she whispered, sitting down next to Dane and pulling her legs to her chest. She glanced sideways at Dane, who smiled encouragingly.

"So..." he began, painting invisible circles with his fingertips on the floor. "You still haven't talked to Damien."

Lucie felt her breath still in her chest. She stared straight ahead and wrapped her arms tighter around her legs.

"Nope." She shrugged. "Why should I? He's with Alice now anyway."

Dane swung his legs off the side of the stage, letting them hit the wood and bounce off in pattern.

"I don't get that either, to tell you the truth," he leaned over and whispered to Lucie. "He's just…having trouble. Deciding."

Lucie angled her head up toward the ceiling, counting the tiles.

"He didn't believe me."

"I know." Dane sighed, unsure of how to continue. "He likes you, he just thinks he wants to be with Alice."

"He loves Alice." Lucie's voice was so fragile that it made Dane upset listening to it. He felt his insides ripping apart. He hated that he couldn't help the people he cared most about. He couldn't help anyone.

"He could love you too," he tried, smiling as best he could, trying anything to make his friend feel better. "He dated Alice all his life! It'd be like if Alex and I ever broke up and he by some miracle took me back, but I was still a horrible person!"

Lucie turned toward Dane, raised an eyebrow and shook her head.

"Okay, so maybe that wasn't a good example."

Lucie managed to laugh, sniffing a little bit.

"I just need to get over him, Dane," She sighed, falling back onto the stage, "And we can all go to Alice and Damien's wedding and laugh about how stupid I was."

Dane laid down on the stage next to Lucie and nudged her in the side.

"You," He poked her side, "-are full of some serious shit."

She giggled.

"That tickles!"

He continued to poke her in the side until she had dissolved in a fit of laughter.

"Stop it!"

She held his arm down as best she could, but Dane was much stronger than her.

"Dane!" She cried, rolling away from his grasp and giggling. "Are you trying to kill me?" She grinned, sitting on both her knees and covering her lips with her hands to keep from laughing.

"Darn it!" He sat up as well, snapping his fingers. "You got me." He flashed her a grin and then turned serious again.

"Come on, Lucers, don't be sad."

"I won't be."

"Good."

"Now come on," Dane sat up and held his hand out to Lucie for the second time that day. This time she took it eagerly and he linked arms with her. "Let's go get some ice cream. You could use it." He leaned into her and she smiled.

"Thanks, Dane."

"Anytime, Lucers."

* * *

><p>"Lucie!" Damien called from the door of the greenroom, bumping into one of the freshman as he went, and mumbling an apology. "Lucie! Wait up!"<p>

He sprinted down the hallway to where she was currently walking as fast as she could in the other direction. She didn't stop when he caught up to her, but instead made a beeline for the girls' bathroom, where he wouldn't follow her.

"Lucie stop!"

She paused in her tracks and turned toward him, mentally weighing the possible outcomes of a conversation with him in her mind. She remembered what Dane had told her a few weeks ago when they went out for ice cream.

"_Let him talk to you when he's ready."_

She turned around slowly to look up at the taller boy, who towered a foot over her. She had never felt so small in someone's presence before, and she felt goosebumps rise on her arms.

She didn't speak, no words would come to her. They were trapped in her throat.

Suddenly looking down at Lucie, Damien lost all the hours of mental preparation.

"I-" He ran a hand through his hair, looking anywhere but at the short girl in front of him. He watched as some of the new boys rehearsed dance steps in the corridor between the stage and the green room. "Good luck out there today."

He felt as though a huge weight had been dropped in his stomach, unable to concentrate on anything. His palms were sweaty in the pockets of his khakis, and he tried to ignore it.

Lucie nodded absentmindedly, not really hearing the words that came out his mouth, only the fact that he was talking to her at all. They had hardly spoken two words to each other all month except for practicing their song for sectionals. His voice sounded strange to her now. Everything was stiff and awkward.

She heard him cough and her eyes widened.

"I miss talking to you."

She didn't answer him. She couldn't. She felt as though she was suddenly mute, as though she was watching a movie and not actually living the situation.

"And I thought maybe you missed talking to me too?"

_Yes_

She spoke the word in her mind, but still, no words passed her lips.

The seconds ticked by like hours, and Damien shifted on the balls of his feet, waiting for her to say something, anything. She remained silent, and his heart dropped.

"Okay." He sighed, nodding his head in defeat, "Okay, I'll see you on stage, Lucie."

She heard his footsteps click by, but remained in her place, and stayed that way until Harvey gathered them to go on stage.

* * *

><p>"Don't be nervous," Dane said, wrapping his arm around Alex as they stood backstage looking out at the empty stage. People were still filing into the auditorium.<p>

"Why do we have to go _first_?" Alex moaned, wringing his hands.

"The best always goes first." Dane smirked.

Alex turned to look at Dane, a bemused look on his face. "Someone's in a good mood."

Dane just shrugged.

"And why aren't_ you_ nervous, Mr. Soloist?" Alex asked.

Dane shrugged again. "I've done worse than sing onstage before, Alex."

Alex leaned in to peck his cheek. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," Dane replied, just as the lights in the auditorium dimmed and a voice said "And now, in the 51st Annual Show Choir Competition, we welcome the Dalton Academy Warblers from Westerville, Ohio!"

Dane took a deep breath and smiled at Alex, who gave a weak smile back.

The Warblers filed onto the stage and took their places, wearing just their white long-sleeved shirts without the blazers, and the curtains opened to silence. Dane stepped forward and the spotlight found him instantly. The ranks closed behind him. He took a deep breath and started singing, just his voice ringing out in the auditorium as he stared down the audience.

_They're gonna clean up your looks  
>With all the lies in the books<br>To make a citizen out of you  
>Because they sleep with a gun<br>And keep an eye on you, son  
>So they can watch all the things you do<em>

He started walking during the slight pause, as if he was going to move back into formation, but then turned around suddenly and kept singing. In that half a second that he was facing the Warblers, he saw Alex looking at him and winked, and Alex tried hard to keep a straight face but ended up grinning.

Lucie glanced at Damien, who was standing there looking straight out at the audience, and bit her lip. Almost like clockwork, the second she looked away, he looked at her, only to see her looking at the audience with an indifferent look on her face that she'd only just secured a moment before. He sighed and looked to Dane, and as he watched his best friend perform, he thought that maybe just maybe he could be happy again. He had seemed lighter and happier all day so maybe this was the beginning of a new, happier time.

If only he and Lucie could be friends again.

_Because the drugs never work_  
><em>They're gonna give you a smirk<em>  
><em>'Cause they got methods of keeping you clean<em>  
><em>They're gonna rip up your heads<em>  
><em>Your aspirations to shreds<em>  
><em>Another cog in the murder machine<em>

As Dane sang the Warblers were walking slowly up behind him, and they enclosed him as they all started singing, so he was in the middle, singing along with them as the music reached higher energy. Alex was in front of him with his back to the audience, and they locked eyes. Dane was aware, somewhere in the back of his mind, that he should look at the audience but…

Then the Warblers started moving in a circle and Damien was right in front of him, and Damien smiled at him and Dane smiled back.

Then Lucie, who he gave an encouraging nod to, and she stuck out her tongue quickly, out and then right back in so she could continue singing.

Then Bryce, who ignored Dane and Dane ignored him, which was pretty standard procedure for them when it came to Warblers. Yes, they talked to the same group of people during practices, but no, they never actually talked to each other.

_They said all_  
><em>Teenagers scare<em>  
><em>The living shit out of me<em>  
><em>They could care less<em>  
><em>As long as someone'll bleed<em>  
><em>So darken your clothes<em>  
><em>Or strike a violent pose<em>  
><em>Maybe they'll leave you alone<em>  
><em>But not me<em>

Dane sang 'But not me' alone, and the Warblers shrunk to the ground around him in crouches, and he stood in the middle of them to sing the next verse. He looked out into the audience, and he could barely see because of the lights, but he knew that his parents were sitting somewhere toward the front in the middle with Damien's parents. He felt a flutter in his stomach but then he told himself, _Whatever happens up here doesn't matter._ And he felt better and forced another smile.

_The boys and girls in the clique_  
><em>The awful names that they stick<em>  
><em>You're never gonna fit in much, kid<em>  
><em>But if you're troubled and hurt<em>  
><em>What you got under your shirt<em>  
><em>Will make them pay for the things that they did<em>

He smiled sickeningly in his best Disturbed Teenager look, and the Warblers rose around him and began circling the stage in a sort of demonic kind of chant way. Dane joined them next to Alex, and their hands brushed and they glanced at each other briefly and that was all they needed to do.

_They said all_  
><em>Teenagers scare<em>  
><em>The living shit out of me<em>  
><em>They could care less<em>  
><em>As long as someone'll bleed<em>  
><em>So darken your clothes<em>  
><em>Or strike a violent pose<em>  
><em>Maybe they'll leave you alone<em>  
><em>But not me<em>

The lights went out on the last note, and the Warblers scrambled offstage to grab their blazers for the next part of their performance.

_Every night I walk the streets _  
><em>Never dreaming what could happen<em>

Lucie shifted awkwardly where she had a spotlight placed on her alone on the stage. It was only her and Damien on the stage, together. She was painfully aware of his presence from the other side of the stage. In just a few seconds a spotlight would appear on him as well, and they would have to sing to each other.

She didn't know if she could handle it.

_Sad and so lonely I saw in the mirror_  
><em>My reflection staring back at me<em>  
><em>But will I ever find what I need?<em>

Her voice was soft and gentle, carried by the voices of the Warblers from offstage. She smiled as convincingly as she could, eyes trained on the doors of the auditorium in the back.

_But I'll wear that dress if you wear that tie and baby we'll dance through the night_  
><em>'Cause no one's got what we've got goin'<em>  
><em>Happiness never held on to me<em>  
><em>Until you helped me see<em>  
><em>That together we're just better off<em>

Lucie tried not to think about the lyrics she was singing. She had been happy with Damien, but all that was over now. They were only friends before anyway. They were just two Warblers performing a song together now, and that was all.

She heard the other Warblers shuffle onto the risers behind her and the spotlight shined on Damien from the other side of the stage. The blue light lit up his eyes, virtually unaffected by their earlier conversation. She felt as though a bit of the weight had been lifted off of her.

Then he turned toward her and all that went to hell.

_Oh my heart's been tried time and again_  
><em>I always thought that it was me, but<em>  
><em>Now I see just how wrong I was <em>  
><em>No I haven't known you for a lifetime <em>  
><em>But somehow I've never been more <em>

He walked toward her, meeting her in the center of the stage, as though singing directly to her. Their eyes connected and nothing mattered anymore.

_Sure that you're for me_.

Their voices molded together just as their hands did, as though the spaces between their fingers were meant for just that purpose.

Damien spun her around and she had to stop herself from giggling. Her hair whipped around her, catching the light and reflecting it like beams of sunlight.

_Oh baby please don't_  
><em>Don't leave just come and dance with me <em>  
><em>Tonight<em>

Damien wrapped his arm around Lucie's waist, and she took his hand as he led her to the music. The moment would have been perfect, if it weren't for Alice in the background watching them. Lucie caught her eye and frowned, losing her footing for a moment.

Damien made sure she got back on track, tightening his hold on her waist.

_I'll wear that dress if you wear that tie and baby we'll dance through the night_  
><em>'Cause no one's got what we've got going<em>  
><em>Happiness never held on to me<em>  
><em>Until you helped me see<em>  
><em>That together we're just better off<em>

The other Warblers in the background had begun dancing with their individual partners. Alex stepped on Alice's foot, and she shot him a look before continuing their dance. He sniggered under his breath, but kept his hold on her waist so that the audience thought nothing had happened. Dane grinned from where he was dancing with his partner, Caitlin, across the stage, watching the whole exchange.

_Don't be cruel to me_  
><em>Oh I've wanted more<em>  
><em>But I've been wrong before. <em>

Damien let go of Lucie's hand, letting it slip from his grasp tragically. She stepped back to the other side of the stage and looked over her shoulder at him.

_So much nothing to lose_  
><em>And we're not a day too soon<em>  
><em>Just say you'll be the same<em>  
><em>And we'll never be lonely anymore.<em>

Damien walked toward Lucie and grabbed her hand from where she had her back faced to him. She felt her breath stilled in her throat. She could feel his chest move with breath behind her, feeling the vibrations of each note that he sang.

She faced him, hands shaking with a sudden nervousness. He took hold of both of them and skipped backwards into the center of the stage, spinning her around again.

_But I'll wear that dress if you wear that tie and baby we'll dance through the night_  
><em>'Cause no one's got what we've got going<em>  
><em>Happiness never held on to me<em>  
><em>Until you helped me see<em>  
><em>That together we're just better off. <em>

Dane and Alex exchanged a look with each other, both hoping that maybe, the lyrics had reached the two soloists.

_Tonight_  
><em>Tonight<em>

The dancing stopped, and all the Warblers paused in their places. The spotlight returned, making the rest of the stage dark. Lucie and Damien were the only ones visible.

_Tonight_

Lucie finished the last note, her shaking hands still grasped in Damien's as the light around them faded. Everything was black, but his hands were still on her own.

She pulled away, nearly sprinting to the wings of the stage.

She didn't want to talk to him.

Not right now.

Not when he had Alice waiting for him.

She would just ruin everything.

Damien stood there until he was pulled away by Dane at the very last second before the other show choir came on to perform, even more upset than he was before.

* * *

><p>"Wow," Logan clapped Damien on the back, "great job swaying in the background there."<p>

Damien just glared. "Ha ha you are so funny."

"What he _means_ is we really liked your performance and it's just a shame that you didn't," Julian cut in, in a way that he surely thought was loving and supportive.

Damien turned to glare at _him_. "What do you mean, I didn't?"

"You had to sing with Lucie," Logan said. He leaned in closer. "Was that awkward?"

"No!" Damien said defensively. "How the hell do you guys even know about that shit?"

"Whoa, whoa, calm down," Julian said, slightly amused at the sudden Logan-like display of rage.

"No seriously," Damien said, slightly more calm, "how _do_ you know about that?"

"Who doesn't?" Logan asked, and Julian and Damien both glared at him this time. "I'm serious, who doesn't? You two were _so_…I'd say cute together but I'd sound really girly so I'm just going to say that you had a lot of _chemistry_." He glanced at Julian. "Is that better?"

"No."

"Looked good together?"

"No."

"Were adorable?"

"Definitely no."

"Uh…"

"Anyway," Julian said to Damien, "we just thought she made you really happy, happier than Alice made you…_makes_ you…"

"Do we have to talk about this?" Damien asked, looking around for a distraction.

"He's just saying," Logan said quickly, "that we would have expected you not to stay with Alice."

"She just came back from the _mental hospital_!" Damien said, almost pleading, like pleading that they would understand.

"Yeah so?" Logan said. "It doesn't matter. Lucie is a nicer girl."

Damien knew this was true so he didn't respond.

"You know it," Julian said, elbowing him.

"Shut up," Damien said, blushing.

"You like Lucie," Logan said, elbowing him from the other side.

"I do not," Damien said, looking at the ground.

"So why are you still with Alice?" Julian asked.

"Do you have to be so _nosy_?"

"Well why?" Logan asked. "Answer us and we'll stop being nosy!"

"Because! Nobody even _likes her_ anymore, and she and I went out for so long, and I've only known Lucie for a few months, and I keep thinking that sometime she'll be like she used to be!" Damien said this relatively quietly so no one else would hear all about his relationship drama, which, according to his father, everyone already knew about.

"People change," Logan said, "she's different, she just is."

"You _never_ liked her, Dad."

"Still," Julian said defensively, "we're rooting for Lucie, just so you know."

And then Damien rolled his eyes and walked away.

"Teenagers," Logan said to Julian, trying to keep a straight face, but they both ended up cracking up and laughing.

"Wow," Casey said, kissing Dane on the top of his head as her son squirmed under her. "You were amazing, sweetie."

"Thanks," he mumbled, digging his toe into the floor.

"Yeah, that solo was really fantastic," Derek said, leaning against a chair in the auditorium. "I wish I'd gotten it on film but the batteries died three seconds into it. But you won, so you'll be going to Regionals and I'll remember to bring batteries this time!"

Dane just shrugged. "That's okay, you have memories." He pointed to his head to indicate where memories are stored.

Just then Bryce came up with his blazer slung over his shoulder, looking bored. "I'm surprised you even showed up," he said to Dane without greeting his parents.

Dane rolled his eyes.

"What do you mean?" Casey asked, looking between her two sons, concerned.

"He _never_ shows up to _school_," Bryce said, leaning against a chair. "So I was just saying I was surprised he showed up to this."

Derek and Casey looked at each other. "Yes, Dane, we meant to talk to you about that…" Derek said slowly.

"What, did they call you to tell you your son was fucked up?" Bryce asked, then immediately regretted saying it, before Casey turned sharply toward him.

"Sydney Bryce Seigerson," she said warningly, "don't talk about your brother like that."

"Don't call me Sydney," Bryce shot back.

Casey pursed her lips. "I am your mother, don't talk to me that way."

Bryce rolled his eyes and Casey grabbed his arm. "Derek, you can talk to Dane, I'm going to take care of this one." Bryce just sighed and allowed himself to be dragged away.

Casey took him into the hallway and gave him a once-over. "What did you expect to do with saying that?" she asked, her tone slightly softer.

"I don't know," he said, shrugging.

"You don't know."

"I don't!"

"What were you hoping to _accomplish_ by calling him a fuck-up?" Casey asked, pursing her lips.

"Nothing!"

"Exactly, you accomplished _nothing_."

Bryce looked down at the ground.

"Do you always treat him this way?" Casey asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No," he said too quickly.

"He's not a fuck-up and you need to realize that."

"I do realize that."

"Then why do you tell him he is?"

"I didn't."

"You did. You said, and I quote, 'Did they call you to tell you your son was fucked up?' How do you think that makes Dane feel?" She gave him a challenging look.

"Well how do you think it makes _me_ feel when all you guys care about is _him_?" Bryce asked angrily.

Casey just looked at him for a moment. "We care about you too, Bryce," she said softly. "We just can't show it every second of every day."

"Or _ever_," he said bitterly.

"What makes you think that?" she asked.

"Be_cause_. Whenever I do something good like join the motherfucking _Warblers_ all you care about is him! When I called to tell you guys we talked about that for about half a _second_ before you asked me about Dane!"

"We talked about it for _ten minutes_!" Casey said. "And is it really so ridiculous for us to ask about your brother? You know he doesn't tell _us_ anything. And we talk about you with him too, just so you know. We worry about both of you."

Bryce just sighed and crossed his arms over his chest.

"I'm sorry that you feel ignored," Casey said, wrapping him into a hug which he tried to pull away from. "But every sibling thinks that their sibling is getting more attention than they are, and it's never true. And," she pulled away and held him at arm's length, "it's no reason to call him a fuck-up or anything else you might call him."

Bryce didn't say anything, just stood still and waited for her to stop talking.

"And now that I'm talking to you you're ignoring me," Casey said, throwing her hands up. "I can't win, you realize that, right?"

He just sulked.

She pushed a piece of hair out of his face and said, "Your dad and I were talking about you last night, and we think you should consider going to therapy too."

"Why would I go to therapy?" Bryce asked harshly, and Casey licked her lips delicately.

"We know that you still have a lot of complicated feelings about what happened with-"

"SHUT UP!" Bryce shrieked desperately, and Casey shrunk back.

"I'm sorry, I know you don't like talking about it," she said, putting a hand on his arm. "I just thought therapy might help you to understand it and process it. I know it's helped Dane a lot to figure it out and come to terms with it."

"Can you just stop talking?" Bryce asked, his arms crossed protectively over his chest.

"I love you, Bryce," Casey said after a moment. "If you ever need to talk to someone, don't be afraid to say so."

Meanwhile, Dane was sitting in a seat next to his dad as people slowly filed out of the auditorium.

"You can't miss school, Dane," Derek was saying sternly. "Your grades are beginning to slip." He realized he sounded like his parents and immediately added, "Not that I don't love you just as much. And I realize that grades aren't as important to some people as they are to their parents. But-"

"I know," Dane said, interrupting him. "It's just hard concentrating on school. I'm sorry."

"Why do you think it's hard concentrating on school?" Derek asked, looking sideways at his son, concerned.

"I don't know." Dane shrugged. "Other things on my mind I guess."

"Like what?" Derek asked.

"I don't know." Dane slunk down deeper in his chair and played with the cuffs of his blazer.

"What do you do when you don't go to school?" Derek asked.

"Sleep."

"Did you tell your therapist about this?"

"Yeah."

"What did she say?"

"She said I should come to school every day even if I'm tired."

"So do you?"

"I try."

"The woman at the office who called us said you'd missed six days in the past month and you're close to failing math," Derek said, his voice filled with concerned.

"Dad?" Dane said suddenly.

"What?" Derek looked around, because the tone in Dane's voice, so urgent, made him wonder if there was a fire.

"I love you."

Derek turned slowly to look at Dane in surprise. "I love you too," he said hesitantly.

"No really," Dane said. "Just…everything you've done for me and everything. Like, you're the best dad ever, and none of this and nothing that might happen is your fault."

Derek nodded. "I try to do what's best for you, Dane," he said, patting Dane on the leg. "Try to get to school more often and maybe you can ask your brother for help with math, he's good at math."

"I know," Dane said absently, picking at a piece of thread that was coming out of the seam of the jacket.

"And don't ever hesitate to call me anytime," Derek said, standing up.

"Okay."

"And also, I was thinking of coming down and talking to your therapist sometime about medication," Derek said. "Your mother and I were talking about it and we think it might help you."

Dane just shrugged. "Whatever."

"Alright, your mother and I should be getting home," Derek said, looking at Dane, still concerned.

"Okay," Dane said. And they walked up the aisle together toward the exit.

* * *

><p>"So, was it horrible?" Alex asked, sauntering up to his parents and giving them both hugs. Lucie followed behind and mimicked his actions. She wore a smile, but Alex knew that she was still upset about the performance.<p>

Shane laughed, ruffling Alex's hair. He pouted, taking a picture of his dad to smite him. It only made him laugh harder.

"You were great, Al."

Alex turned to Reed expectantly, and Reed rolled his eyes, reaching up to push Alex's hair back into place where Shane had messed it up.

"It was amazing, Alex." He turned toward Lucie admiringly, grabbing her hand and giving it a squeeze. "Your solo was great. You sounded like an angel."

"Papa." Lucie blushed, looking at her feet. Shane patted her on the back.

"And your dancing was perfect." He nudged her in the side. "You did learn from the best, after all."

Lucie grinned.

"I know, dad."

"I obviously didn't inherit that," Alex cut in, laughing. Shane shook his head. "You weren't _terrible_." He joked. Alex crossed his arms over his chest and pouted.

"My own dad doesn't recognize my brilliant dance skills."

Reed smiled.

"It's okay, Alex, I can't dance either."

Lucie and Alex exchanged a look.

"We _know_."

Reed pretended to look upset, and Shane wrapped his arms around him from behind and kissed the top of his head.

"I think it's cute," Shane whispered in his ear. Reed flushed a deep red color, and Alex snapped a picture.

"You two are adorable," he said, showing Lucie the picture he had just taken. She grinned.

"I hope that one day you two are as happy as we are," Reed leaned back into Shane and looked up at his husband. It was almost as though they were back at Dalton themselves winning a sectionals competition.

"I hope so too," Alex said, smiling fondly at his parents and snapping another picture.

And just at that moment, Dane came bounding up behind them.

"I got released from the prison!" he exclaimed, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet.

"Dane, you were very good," Reed said, giving Dane a smile which Dane returned.

"You were, I was impressed," Shane added.

"Thank you," Dane said, blushing a little.

"Alright, Dad, Papa, we have to go," Alex said. "It's been a long day and all that." He smiled and gave them each hugs and kisses.

"See you, Dane," his parents said, and Lucie leaned in to whisper something in Dane's ear which Dane made a face at.

"Bye, Lucers," Alex said, and Lucie gave him a little wave.

"Do you know what tomorrow is?" Dane asked as they walked up the aisle.

"Duh," Alex replied, swinging their arms between them as they held hands.

"Okay what is it?" Dane prompted.

"It's one year exactly since I met you," Alex said. "So I'm taking you out to dinner and we're going to have a very romantic night and we will kiss passionately on your doorstep when it is over." He kissed Dane's cheek as they entered the lobby.

"That sounds good," Dane said, and suddenly he wrapped Alex in a hug. "Thank you for being the best boyfriend ever."

"I can't believe it's been a year," Alex said contentedly.

"Me neither," Dane said, standing up on his tiptoes to kiss Alex quickly on the lips. "I love you so much. I've loved you like the whole time and I'll never stop."

"Same here," Alex said, rubbing Dane's back and looking down at him. "I love you."

"No matter what?" Dane asked, his eyes big and round as he stared up at Alex.

"No matter what."


	23. Chapter 23: How to Save a Life

**Hello! Sorry this chapter took awhile to get out but…it's here now! :D **

**IMPORTANT!**

**Trigger warning for suicide. Also cutting.**

_**Italics**_** is a flashback. Regular is just regular.**

**Chapter 23: How to Save a Life**

"What's up with you today?" Jane slid into the seat opposite Bryce in the empty table. She smoothed her skirt down and picked up her milk to open as she watched him. He was staring at his untouched pizza as though it was a gravestone and not food. His eyes were tired and he looked as though he might fall into his plate at any second.

"Hello?" She waved a hand in front of his face to get his attention. He lifted his head up from where he was studying his food and stared at her, as though he didn't really have the energy to deal with anything.

"What?" he snapped, setting his mouth into a straight line. "Nothing's up with me."

Jane rolled her eyes, bringing both her hands up in surrender.

"Okay, whatever, I just don't know what's so interesting about your pizza," she began, taking a sip of her milk, "-and you look like you got ran over by a truck, but minor details."

He lifted his head again, mouth slightly agape. Why did she always have to be so rude to him? He was not in the mood today, of all days. Especially not today. She was always making some sort of snide comment and he was sick of it.

"Do you have to be so fucking annoying all of the time?"

If Bryce's tone of voice fazed her, Jane didn't show it. She shrugged, pushing a brunette curl behind her ear.

"I'm just _saying_. You looked upset."

"Well I'm not."

He pushed at the sleeves of his shirt, making the fabric wrinkled and put both of his elbows on the table. He rested his head in his hands and let out a deep breath. Did he really seem all that upset? It had been three years now since it had happened. He shouldn't be so upset about it anymore. Three years was a long time. But he was.

He didn't want anyone to find out that he was still upset. He hated feeling vulnerable in front of them. He hated the way that everyone acted like they knew what he was going through, but they didn't. No one really knew at all, and that made him even angrier.

Jane's eyes widened a little bit, but her gaze remained unaffected.

"You know, the reason no one's nice to you is because you're an ass to everyone who tries to be." Her voice was dry, as though she were reading a line out of a history book verbatim. She rested her head against her hand on the table, nearly mimicking Bryce's stance.

"I don't _want_ to talk to you," Bryce bit as his bottom lip, as though even though he wasn't actually that upset about what she had just told him, the word's still hit home. "And plenty of people are nice to me."

Jane raised an eyebrow.

"I'm sure they are." Her voice dripped with sarcasm, and Bryce was not in the mood.

"They are!"

"Look," Jane leaned forward, catching Bryce's gaze with her own, "I'm not trying to be rude here or anything-"

"Too late."

"Shutup," Jane sat up straighter in her seat, crossing her legs, "This is exactly what I'm talking about. I'm just trying to be your friend. And this is exactly why you don't have any."

Bryce pushed his lips together.

"I have friends," he whispered, so soft that she could hardly hear the words. They sounded more like a stubborn child that was defending his decision to kick sand in their sibling's face.

Jane raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. The air stiffened and Bryce turned his head away.

"Look, I'm just not in the mood today, okay?" He stared at the cafeteria line blankly, as though seeing something else entirely. Jane followed his gaze.

"Okay," she replied carefully, stealing a glance in his direction. Something was definitely upsetting Bryce. He was normally an asshole to everyone at the table, but he always was eager to dish back what he got. Today he barely fought at all. "Are you sure you're alright?"

He didn't respond, but kept his gaze on the cafeteria line. He pulled at the sleeves to his blazer, unbuttoning and re-buttoning the cuffs.

Jane continued to watch him, wracking her brain for something to say, anything to say. She was never very good with the comforting thing. She felt as though a million words flooded through her mind like a waterfall, but came out as tumbleweeds from her lips.

"I'm sorry," she blurted out. Bryce looked toward her, almost amused for a second, and she licked her lips for lack of anything better to do. "I shouldn't have said the thing about having no friends."

He raised an eyebrow and for a moment, he seemed like his normal self.

"I didn't really care," He shrugged, mouth turning into a smug smile, "-But thanks."

Jane sighed in relief, returning his smile.

"Right," she began, leaning slightly forward in her chair as though telling a secret, "But if you ever do need a friend," She trailed off, looking down shyly, "I'm always around." She shrugged lamely and twirled the apple she was about to eat in her fingers.

Both of Bryce's eyebrows raised, disbelieving.

"Right," He echoed her tone, unsure of what else to say, "Right, sure."

The lunch table was silent. Bryce pulled out his iPod from his pocket and began locking and unlocking the screen. Jane took a bite of her apple and chewed slowly.

"Well this is a great friendship," she commented sarcastically, placing her apple back on the tray and nodding as though discussing a new cell phone plan.

Bryce looked up and laughed, relieved that the awkward silence was broken.

* * *

><p>Alex blew on his hands and stamped his feet. He looked around at the students leaving their houses and walking toward the school, and he wondered if this would be another day where Damien came out the door of Stuart House and told him that Dane wasn't coming.<p>

But he didn't think it would be. They were leaving that evening to go home for the holidays, so Dane had to come to class.

Still, Alex bit his lip and tried to conjure up enough body heat to not freeze to death. But it was very cold on the front doorstep of Stuart. And everywhere else, for that matter… Except in his bed, so if Dane was still in his bed Alex did not blame him. In fact, he'd like to join him…

At this thought Alex started to blush. His cheeks were already red from the cold and now they grew redder. He thought about how Dane was staying at his house for New Year's…

"Hey." Arms wrapped around him from behind. "You cold?"

Alex turned around and hugged his boyfriend back. "Hell yes. Please let's go into the heated school?"

"Sure." Dane took his hands from Alex's middle and allowed his hand to brush softly against Alex's. Alex took his hand and glanced at him sideways.

"How are you?" he asked, concerned. Because he felt weird about the way Dane had been acting lately. He knew that being worried wouldn't do anything, and Dane was going to a therapist, and over break his dad was going to talk to the therapist about getting medication… So there was nothing for him to do.

But the way that Dane always pulled at his sleeves, and now he was acting so _happy_ only with a strange edge…

"I'm good," Dane said, giving him a smile. "How are you?"

"I'm great," Alex said, squeezing Dane's hand. There was nothing he could do but act normal for Dane. And be there if Dane needed him. Right?

"Sad about going home?" Dane asked, and Alex became aware that Dane was walking very slowly, as if savoring their daily walk to the school building.

"Yeah," Alex replied. "I'll miss you a lot. And I'll miss your birthday. Two days!"

Dane laughed softly. "Yep, two days. Good old December 18th." He rolled his eyes, not really all that excited about his 17th birthday. "Well, you'll have Lucers with you in the city to keep you company. And you can take lots of pictures and things. And there's the New Year's party."

"Will you come? You're coming, right?"

"If plans don't change, yes." Dane laughed a little and then said, "I love you."

"I know you do," Alex replied, "and I love you too."

* * *

><p>Dane sighed and slipped his hand into Alex's, then changed his mind and wrapped his arm around Alex instead, then changed his mind again and just stopped right in the middle of the hallway and hugged Alex.<p>

"I love you," he whispered into Alex's ear. "I love you so much."

Alex nodded and hugged Dane back. "You know it's only been 42 minutes since I saw you last…" he said, putting a light tone into his voice.

Dane nodded. "I know." He hugged tighter.

"We're in a crowded hallway…" Alex said, "Not that I care but I'm just saying PDA is frowned upon at this school…"

"Right." Dane coughed and cleared his throat, pulling away and taking Alex's hand. "Right, let's go."

"I love you too, Daners," Alex said as they walked. "Very very much."

Dane didn't respond, just looked around at the people surrounding them. "It's almost Christmas," he said in a very neutral tone.

"Yep," Alex responded in an equally neutral tone.

"You're excited about that, right?" Dane asked, looking up at him with a nervous look in his eyes.

"Mhmm." Alex nodded and laughed a little. "Are you?"

"Not really." Dane rubbed his neck and adjusted the straps of his backpack with his free hand. "Not a fan of Christmastime."

Alex nodded slowly and watched as a bird flew overhead. The day was overcast with a very bitter chill in the air. "It's cold."

"Yeah. Do you want my coat?" Dane stopped walking and started taking off his coat but Alex stopped him.

"No, no, I'm fine." His cheeks were red from the cold and he smiled a little. "It's fine, we'll be back at Stuart soon."

"You have to pack though," Dane said quickly, resuming walking.

"Yeah, well I thought I could hang with you for awhile before I have to pack, if that's okay…"

"No!" Dane exclaimed, his voice breaking. "I mean I don't…well you don't need to. Damien will be there and we have to pack too, and I won't really be any fun, and you have to pack and _then_ we can hang out okay? Unless you have other stuff to do. Maybe you should hang with Lucie or somebody, she really misses you I think…"

"She sees me every day," Alex said, stopping. They were in the middle of a grass area about halfway between Stuart and the school building. "Are you okay? Don't you want me to come hang out with you?"

"Of course I do!" Dane said, and he looked like he was going to cry. He let his backpack fall off his shoulders and to the ground with a thud. "I do."

"Okay, okay, shh," Alex wrapped him into a hug. "I get it, okay, I know you do."

"I'm sorry." Dane pulled away and wiped at his eyes. "I'm sorry Alex. I'm really sorry for anything that might happen to me, or…something. It's not your fault though. I really love you."

Alex's eyes widened. "Dane…" he said slowly, reaching out to take Dane's hand. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I was just saying, I mean like, something could happen over break or something and I just wanted you to know how much I love you and that it's not because of you in any way." Dane looked so small and fragile and his eyes were red and there were dark circles under them, and his cheeks were sunken because he hadn't been eating much, and Alex bit his lip.

"I'm coming with you," he said firmly. "To your dorm room. And I'll stay with you while you pack and then you have to come with me to my dorm room and I'll pack and then we'll wait for our parents to come get us and then you'll go home and…and you'll be fine."

Dane was shaking his head. "No, Damien's there."

"I…are you sure? I mean you're kind of scaring me, Daners…" Alex looked at him with concern in his eyes as Dane violently fought to hold himself together.

"Yeah I know, I'm sorry I'm just _saying_…dammit Alex I'm not going to…I mean Damien's there, I couldn't…and I wouldn't want to or…" And he threw himself into Alex's arms, sobbing against his chest as Alex rubbed his back, surprised.

"I'm just worried. You're scaring me Dane and I don't want you to hurt yourself."

"Damien's there," Dane sobbed, clutching at Alex's jacket. "Damien wouldn't let me do anything."

"I know but…I want to be there for you. When you're upset which you very clearly are."

"I'm not upset," Dane mumbled.

"I'm sorry, what?" Alex cocked his head to the side. "It sounded like you just lied to me, Daners."

This only made Dane sob harder. He held onto Alex's coat like it was his everything, and Alex held onto Dane like he was his everything. He buried his face in Dane's hair.

"Sorry, Dane," he said softly. "I've got you. I've got you. I'll never let go of you."

Dane was now being held up by Alex and Alex just rubbed his back and kissed his hair. "I'm here," he said, "I'll always be here."

Alex became aware that people were staring and he glared at them until they turned and scurried away. "Shhhh," he whispered to Dane, "it's okay. It's alright."

"Damien's waiting," Dane said after a few minutes. "We do this, this game thing, when we pack, it's kind of like a racing thing…" He sniffled and straightened up, drawing a hand under his nose and blinking repeatedly to clear his eyes. "Yeah, I uh, I better go…"

"Okay I'm coming with you," Alex said, picking up Dane's bookbag and starting to walk.

"No, you can't! Me and Damien have this tradition thing. You can't come."

"Dane, I'm coming."

"You can't."

"I can."

"I'm not going to let you."

"I'm going to make you let me."

"Come on." Dane looked desperate. "What am I gonna do? With Damien there? What would I do? He's wrestled me to the ground before, there's nothing I could do."

"Maybe you're lying, maybe he's _not_ there."

"You think I'm lying?"

"No."

"So."

"I just don't feel comfortable leaving you…"

"I don't want you there," Dane said firmly, and this time he was the one to start walking toward Stuart. "Okay? I want to be alone with my best friend. That is what would make me feel better today."

"You don't even want to tell me what in particular is wrong?" Alex asked, feeling a little hurt though aware that he shouldn't.

"No," Dane said.

"Okay well…I'm coming as soon as I'm done packing. I'll be fast. I swear."

"Okay."

"And call me if you need me," Alex said, and they walked in silence until they reached the doorstep of Stuart House. "Here." Alex handed Dane his backpack and then made one of the biggest mistakes of his life.

He walked away.

* * *

><p>Bryce was packing in his room when he found one of Dane's socks. He knew it was Dane's sock because all of Dane's socks had little D's on them because their mother was bad at sorting laundry so all of their clothes were labeled. He wasn't sure why, but he decided to take it to Dane's room.<p>

Bryce swung the sock from his fingertips, knocking on the door with the other hand. There was no response, so he shrugged and let himself in.

_Probably sleeping,_ he thought, walking into the dark room. The shades were pulled shut, that was how Damien and Dane liked it, apparently. No natural light. Weirdos.

And yes, he _was_ sleeping. Bryce rolled his eyes and flicked on the light to annoy Dane, who was lying still on the bed.

As he crossed the room toward his brother, trying to think of the most annoying way to wake him up, he saw that Dane's arm dangled off the bed, his fingers curled around…

"Fuck," Bryce whispered, dropping to his knees to pry the pill bottle from his big brother's grasp. He looked at it for a second, and dully realized that he'd dropped the sock on the floor, but he didn't care.

"Dane?" he asked, a little louder, and Dane didn't move. "Dane?" Louder, louder, but still nothing. He reached out a hand and shook him, but Dane didn't wake up. "Dane!" he screamed. "DANE SEIGERSON!" Nothing nothing nothing. "DANE FUCKING WAKE UP! Dane!"

He didn't wake up.

Bryce took his cell phone from his pocket and, fingers shaking, dialed Alex's number.

Alex was in his room, packing, humming along to a Christmas song that was playing from his iHome. He was alone when his phone rang.

He saw the caller ID and immediately his heart started beating faster. "Hello?" he asked, putting it up to his ear.

"Alex shit you have to get over here."

The tone in Bryce's voice made Alex drop the pants he was folding and run to the door. He pulled it open as he said, "Don't tell me."

"He won't wake up." Bryce sounded panicked. Alex sprinted down the stairs and out into the cold December afternoon wearing just a Killers t-shirt and jeans.

"I said don't tell me!" Alex's voice was all high and barely there, and he felt like someone had dropped an anvil on his chest. "Is he breathing?"

"What?"

"Is he _breathing_?" Alex practically screamed, and several people walking nearby turned to look at him.

"Yeah," Bryce said. "I think I'm going to vomit, excuse me." And he hung up.

Alex ran faster than he'd ever run before and faster than he ever would again. He didn't even notice the bitter air as it whipped at his body, lashing him for not noticing, for not stopping this…

"He's breathing," he told himself again and again, and he wasn't sure if he was speaking out loud or not. "He's breathing."

Stuart House seemed so far away, had it always been this far away?

He couldn't even think, his thoughts were so jumbled, but it occurred to him distantly that wherever Damien was, he wasn't in his dorm room. So he pulled out his phone. He tried to dial the number about five times before he could, and he burst through the doors of Stuart House just as he put it up to his ear. He heard the calm ringing and cursed at it in his mind (or out loud).

"Hello?" Damien asked, answering on the second ring, thank goodness.

"You have to get back to your room," Alex said, out of breath.

"Why?" Damien asked quickly, sounding like he already knew, and Alex could hear the scraping of a chair in the background meaning he had stood up and was already on his way.

"You know why."

"Is he-"

"I don't know, just come. And call 911 on your way." He hung up and almost ran into Dane's door before he could work the doorknob right to open it.

"Dane?" Alex asked, just as Bryce came out of the bathroom and closed the door.

They looked at each other and then at Dane on the bed and Alex didn't remember later even crossing the room, only that he was suddenly there at Dane's bedside, and he was picking up the pill bottle from the floor, and then looking at Dane and trying to wake him up, but he wouldn't…

"Daners, Dane baby come on, please don't do this, don't die, please wake up, come on honey, Dane, love, I love you so much Daney please wake up, don't die, you can't die, come on Dane you can't kill yourself, don't die, oh God Dane don't die, I love you so fucking much don't die, holy shit don't die, please…"

This went on for who knew how long, with Bryce on Dane's other side saying, "Dane, come on, wake up, come on bro, please wake up, don't die, you can't die, fuck shit you can't die, come on Dane, wake up, you can't just kill yourself, you can't do that to us, please, we can't lose you too, we all love you, come on don't die."

Damien came in then and just stopped in his tracks when he saw Dane. "Fuck," he whispered, just as Bryce had. "The ambulance is on its way," he said, stepping forward hesitantly, not taking his eyes off Dane.

Alex had his forehead resting against Dane's side, and Bryce was holding Dane's hand in a very unexpected showcase of caring.

"He's breathing," Damien said, coming to kneel next to Alex. He brushed a hair out of Dane's face but there was nothing more he could do. Alex and Bryce were both holding one of his hands. So he settled on watching the rise and fall of his best friend's chest, slower than it was supposed to be.

"Someone should wait for the ambulance," Alex mumbled into the comforter, and none of them moved.

"I'll go," Damien said, reaching out to straighten Dane's sleeve cuff because he knew Dane always liked them straight, and as he did so he saw fresh scars on his arm. He froze, his hand hovering over them.

Alex raised his head and looked, and Bryce peered over Dane's body to see. No one said anything because no one could think of anything to say. Finally Damien couldn't look any more and he stood up and left the room to go handle everything.

* * *

><p>"I don't like this." Damien dropped the magazine on the table in front of him and it made a loud smacking noise. Everyone in the ER waiting room looked up. "I hate that this has happened before and now it's happening again and it's my fault. It's <em>still<em> my fault."

He was talking to Lucie because Bryce and Alex had left the waiting room to go outside because neither of them could stand being inside the hospital, so stuffy and claustrophobic. And Derek and Casey were in Dane's room with him, waiting. His stomach had been pumped and he still hadn't woken up and it had been a long time and…

"Sit down," Lucie said softly, and Damien realized he was standing up. He sunk down to his seat, slightly embarrassed. He felt Lucie's arm around him, unexpected because he hadn't expected her to want to have anything to do with him, not even now. _Especially_ not now.

"This isn't your fault," Lucie said, speaking in low tones, and she sounded perfectly calm but if you looked at her you could see the tears on her cheeks.

"It is," Damien said. "It's my fault. I should have noticed, I should have guessed, I'm so stupid, I've been so focused on my own problems I haven't even noticed him and his problems. I shouldn't have expected Alex to just deal with it. He doesn't know Dane as well as I do and…" He choked out a sob. "And if he dies…"

"He won't die," Lucie said firmly. "He won't. They pumped his stomach. He'll be fine."

"But he OD'd, he went unconscious, he…"

"He'll wake up any minute."

"What if he's in a coma?"

"They got the shit out of him."

Damien was shaking and Lucie took his hand in her free one, the one that wasn't wrapped around him.

"Calm down, Damien," she said, rubbing his back. "It's okay."

"It's not okay," he said, and then he buried his face in her shoulder. "It's not. He's my best friend, he's always been there my whole life, and if he dies… It's all my fault, all of it…"

"No, it's not. It's not your fault. Any of us could have done something different. It's not just on your shoulders only."

"I feel like it is. He needs me to notice him and I didn't, I've always let this happen. I live with him, I shouldn't be such an idiot all the time…"

"You aren't an idiot," Lucie said, and she made Damien raise his head to look at her. "You aren't. You didn't know this would happen. You thought he was getting help because he's seeing a therapist. You thought you didn't have to watch out so carefully. You were distracted, by all the other stuff that's happening…" She bit her lip as more tears sprung to her eyes. "None of us noticed."

"But it goes further than that," Damien said, still shaking, trying to take deep breaths but it wasn't working, he couldn't breathe right.

"What do you mean?" Lucie asked. "It's simple. None of us noticed, it's not just you that-"

"I mean…well…maybe he wouldn't want me to tell you but…when we were younger, three years ago exactly…"

* * *

><p>Alex was leaning against the wall with his head resting against the cold bricks. Bryce was sitting in the little garden outside the Emergency Room that was oddly out of place. It's like, Hey! We realize that someone in there may be seriously injured or dying, but we're going to try to cheer you up with dying flowers anyway!<p>

Waiting is one of the worst things you can ever do. You know that from this point, _something_ is going to happen. You know it's going to have a lot of impact on your life. You know it's going to be very important. But you don't know what it is.

Dane could either wake up or he could not. It could either be a failed suicide attempt or suicide.

Bryce picked at a few of the dead flowers.

"I can't believe he did this," he said, an edge in his voice that was like armor, keeping Alex from seeing that he was upset.

It didn't work, of course.

"Neither can I," Alex said, fingers running along the goosebumps on his arms. The wind whipped at his t-shirt.

"I can't believe he did this _today_, goddammit." Bryce picked the tops off the dead flowers and threw them on the ground and began breaking the stems.

"Why especially today?" Alex asked, looking down at Bryce.

Bryce closed his eyes. "He didn't tell you," he said, a comment, because he figured that Dane wouldn't have.

"Tell me what?" Alex slid slowly down the wall so he was sitting on the ground but then he wished he was standing again. He felt restless.

"Nothing." But Bryce was crying now. He hadn't cried yet, not when they were in Dane's room or when the EMTs came or when they came to the hospital or when they were told to wait in the waiting room or when he read a Better Homes and Gardens to occupy himself or when his parents arrived and they were both crying and they hugged him for about ten minutes each or when the doctor came out to say that Dane hadn't woken up yet but they still had hope that he would.

"Are you…" Alex had been about to say 'Are you okay?' but he realized that was a stupid thing to ask.

"No," Bryce said, looking at him with these eyes that looked so much like Dane's that Alex's own eyes widened. He'd never noticed before that they had the same eyes.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" Alex asked, partly for his own selfish reasons because he wanted to know what it was that his boyfriend hadn't told him, and partly because it seemed like Bryce needed someone to talk to.

"No," Bryce said again, but then he ran his hand under his nose and sniffed. "We had a little sister."

Alex didn't know what to say to this. He felt mostly numb, emotionally worn out, so he wasn't sure how he even felt. He didn't say anything, just watched as Bryce cough-laughed in that way people do when they feel like they're showing too much emotion.

"Anna," Bryce added. "Anna Rose Seigerson." He ran a hand through his hair and looked up at the sky, gray clouds above, nothing to break the monotony of the gray. "She was 9 when Dane killed her."

"What?" Alex said this a little too loud and his voice was a little too high-pitched and he would have been embarrassed any other time.

"He didn't do it on purpose," Bryce said, tasting salty tears in his mouth. He wiped violently at his cheeks with his palms.

"_You three will be alright for tonight?" Casey asked, digging in her purse for her keys._

"_Yeah, sure," Dane said, waving a hand and leaning against the kitchen counter. "I'll be fourteen in two days, and Damien's already fourteen." He jerked a thumb at Damien, who stood next to Anna next to the kitchen island._

"_We'll be back by nine," Casey said, and she took Bryce's hand. _

"_Why can't Anna come with us?" Bryce whined, tugging his hand out of his mother's grasp and taking Anna's hand instead._

"_We're picking up some of her Christmas presents while we go for Dane's birthday presents," Derek said as he walked through the doorway from the living room. "Come on, they'll be fine, Case."_

"_But they're so young…" Casey bit her lip, looking at Dane and Damien, who shrugged innocently._

"_They'll be fine," Derek repeated firmly, and he had to tug Anna's hand out of Bryce's and pull the ten-year-old Bryce along out the door, Casey following._

"_Don't go anywhere!" she called over her shoulder._

"_We won't!" Dane called back._

"They were babysitting her. Dane and Damien," Bryce said, and he threw one of the dead petals at the ground, but instead of it flying toward the dirt, it floated softly on the wind. "And the dumbass decided to go into my parents' liquor cabinet."

"_No, you can't," Dane said, holding the bottle in his hand and looking at it. "You can't have any, Anna, sorry. When you're older you can." He took a nice big swig and immediately started coughing, but once he was done he grinned at Damien and handed him the bottle._

"_But we're babysitting," Damien said in a hushed voice, looking at the bottle in his hands._

"_It's fine," Dane said. "It's just a little bottle of wine, we won't have that much. Mom and Dad always have glasses of wine at dinner, don't they, An?"_

_Anna nodded slowly, her big brown eyes looking amazed._

"And then once they were thoroughly drunk because their little bodies couldn't hold liquor at all, they went bike riding." Bryce sat against the wall and banged his head onto the bricks, hoping it would hurt.

Alex watched him with wide eyes, hardly believing what Bryce was saying.

"_It's dark," Damien said, biting his lip and looking at the bike Dane was holding._

"_So? It's not _that_ dark," Dane said, hopping up onto the bike. "We'll be back, Anna!" he called as he started to pedal away, knowing that Damien would follow him._

"_I want to come!" Anna exclaimed indignantly, just as Damien said, "We can't just leave her here, Dane!"_

_Dane waved a hand and as he did so, the bike wobbled dangerously. He tried to gain control again but it clattered onto the driveway and he fell off. But he was laughing._

_Anna was laughing too and Damien was giggling a little, then he burped and decided to get on a bike because Dane was so he should too._

_Anna found her own bike in the garage and started to get her helmet, but Dane called out, "Don't get your helmet, Anna! That'll take time, I just want to _go_!" _

_He was getting back on his bike and starting to ride off, and Damien was already on the street, so Anna got on her bike and followed them._

_She'd just gotten her training wheels taken off, so she was a little wobbly and uncertain, but she found that she could get along just fine if she wiggled the handlebar just enough for the bike to stay up every time it dipped to the side._

"Were you and she close?" Alex asked, shivering, but not from the cold anymore.

"Yes," Bryce said, and the only way Alex knew that this was what he said was because he could see his lips forming the words. No sound came out.

_Bryce was six and Anna was four, and Bryce pushed her down the slide at the playground and she screamed while she went down, and he apologized profusely, but then she turned on him and said, "You better do that again." And so he did. He pushed her down the slide until it got dark out and they had to go home._

_Bryce was seven and Anna was five, and Bryce licked Anna's ice cream cone while she was turned around, but she felt it and cried until he ended up giving her his own cone so that she had two and all he'd gotten was a measly lick._

_Bryce was eight and Anna was six, and Bryce pulled her sled around in the snow-covered yard. There was nothing else to do, since Damien and Dane had stolen all the snow to make a snowman, so Bryce told Anna to get in the sled while he pulled her in circles again and again and she laughed and his arms and legs started to hurt but she was laughing so he kept going._

_Bryce was nine and Anna was seven, and Bryce sat with her at the kitchen table explaining addition for half an hour until she finally understood the concept. He walked around the house to find as many paperclips as he could to demonstrate to her the concept of if you have three paperclips and you add five then you get eight._

"There was a drunk driver and she never stood a chance," Bryce said with his eyes closed, and Alex didn't know what to do. Should he wrap his arm around Bryce…?

But no, there were some times when you just couldn't comfort someone. No matter how much you wanted to, there was nothing you could do to make it any better.

"_ANNA!" _

_But it was too late and the car didn't even swerve, it hit her head on, and she died instantly, the doctors said later._

_The driver didn't even stop, but Damien and Dane did, they jumped off their bikes and ran to her, the form on the pavement, mangled now, limbs bent at the wrong angles, blood spilling from somewhere…_

"_Holy shit," Dane said, as it dawned on him distantly that something really bad had happened._

"_I'll…" Damien didn't even say anything, he just ran off to get help, and Dane stood in the middle of the road next to his little sister and her bike, both of which were ruined. He watched as the puddle of blood grew and hit his shoe, and he bent down and put his ear on her heart. He heard nothing. He started to shake and he felt a sob being ripped through his throat and he knew that this was his fault._

"We were in the store when the police called us and I'll never forget my parents' faces." Bryce was rocking himself back and forth and Alex didn't have to prompt him anymore. It almost seemed like he _wanted_ to say these things, he wanted to tell someone.

_Derek picked up the phone, the muzak playing calmly in the background._

"_Hello?" he asked, showing Casey a stuffed bear he thought Anna might like._

_Then he dropped the bear and Casey and Bryce looked at him. "What?" he asked loudly. There was a voice on the other end of the phone that sounded monotonous and calm. "Is she…" He trailed off and the person on the other end said something. Derek fell against the shelves of stuffed bears and baby dolls._

"_What is it?" Casey asked, taking the phone and putting it up to her own ear. She paled as she listened and remained still as a statue._

"_Daddy?" Bryce waved a hand in front of Derek's face but he did not respond. "Daddy?"_

"_Come on," Derek said suddenly, grabbing Bryce up into his arms and carrying him out of the aisle._

"And I never got to see her body but…but everyone always said that was best. I don't know why, it's not like it would have been any worse than it already was," Bryce said, and then a sob escaped him. He gasped for air and Alex put a comforting hand on his knee which was pulled up to his chin now.

_Derek jumped out of the car and rushed to his oldest child, standing next to an EMT who was squatting next to him, apparently trying to comfort him. Dane looked up at his father with empty eyes, and Derek wrapped him into a long hug. Then Casey came over and hugged him, and then some EMTs came over and said that she was dead but they were taking her to the hospital anyway just in case._

"So…" Bryce sniffed again and looked up at Alex, then realized that Alex's hand was on his knee. Bryce pulled his knees away and Alex let his hand fall to the dirt. "So that's the problem. That's what's wrong with him. It's been four years exactly now and he still wants to take another one of my parents' kids away." He let his forehead rest on his knees and didn't move for a long time.

Alex knew that it wasn't the time to talk Bryce out of blaming Dane, it wasn't the time to say that it was a mistake and that no one could have known that would happen…

So after Bryce had been still for a long time, and Alex had sat there next to him, Alex stood up and said, "I'm going to go in now and see how things are. Will you be okay out here?"

"I'm not suicidal," Bryce said with malice in his voice, and Alex bit his lip. It was only once he was inside the hospital again that he realized he was crying.

* * *

><p>Alex listened to the heart monitor beep slowly, he watched Dane's chest, and he couldn't tell whether he was breathing or not. His eyes were shut, and his face was expressionless. He almost looked peaceful, Alex thought with a jolt.<p>

He wasn't dead.

He repeated the thought over and over again in his head.

He wasn't dead. He couldn't be dead. They said he would wake up. He had to wake up. Dane couldn't leave him. He couldn't leave him. Not now. He was so young. So young. He had so much life ahead of him.

There were so many things they didn't do together. There were so many pictures that were yet to be taken, so many kisses to happen, so many laughs to hear, so many conversations to have. He couldn't die now!

Alex felt tears sting his eyes again, and he did nothing to stop them. He had stopped trying to hold himself together the moment he saw Dane unconscious in his bed. He felt his eyelids droop heavily. He was so tired, but he didn't want to sleep. He didn't want to do much of anything.

He squeezed Dane's hand in his own. He had been holding it for the last ten minutes in hopes that he would feel_ something _back, anything back.

He let his head fall, slowly counting the beeps of the heart monitor in his head and praying to whatever spiritual figure that was beyond this world that Dane would wake up.

There were so many things he could have done. How could he be so stupid? He should have known that Dane wasn't getting better. He should have known when he didn't come to school as often that he was far from okay. He should have known when he practically told him goodbye earlier in the day that he might never come back. He should have suspected that he was lying when he said Damien would be with him.

And still Alex let him go.

He let the boy he loved more than anything in the world hurt himself, and he could do nothing about it now but watch the IV drip slowly and to listen to the beep of the heart monitor.

"Dane, it's me, Alex," he whispered softly, looking at the boy in the bed and biting his lip. He had to hear him. He had to. It was all he had to hope for. "I don't know if you can hear me, but I'm here." He bit his lip, feeling his voice shake. He took a deep breath, looking down and swallowing a few times before trying to speak again.

"I'm so sorry." His voice cracked again but he continued to speak. He had to get out what he wanted to say. He owed Dane that. "I'm so sorry I didn't notice. I'm sorry I didn't stay with you and make everything better." Alex wiped at his eyes from under his glasses which were already fogged up from his earlier tears. He hadn't bothered to clean them.

"I should have been there, but I thought you were better and I should have known." He tried to keep his voice to a whisper, but the last sentence came out as more of a broken sob than anything. "I love you so much, Dane. You just can't die. You can't. So many other people love you too. Not just me. You're so loved, Dane. You mean so much to so many people."

He placed both hands on Dane's, leaning forward in his chair.

"And I would do anything to have you back," he whispered, leaning down to kiss Dane's palm. "Whatever you wanted. I would make sure that you never felt that bad again. I would do anything..."

He imagined that Dane was listening to him. He imagined the way he would smile, the way he would hug him and tell him that he didn't have to do anything for him. But Alex always knew that he did.

"You once said you liked it when I sang to you," he continued, as though urging a nervous actor to perform, doing anything to make Dane wake up, as though one magic word would cause his heart to speed up and his eyes to open. "I would sing to you every day if you wanted me to. Whatever you wanted me to. I would-"

Alex paused. Dane liked it when he sang to them. He remembered the nights when they would stay up talking on the phone when Dane couldn't sleep. He sang to him until the phone line went silent and he heard the soft snores of his boyfriend from the other end of the line.

Alex smiled sadly at the memory, sniffling and keeping his eyes on Dane's closed ones.

"I could sing to you now if you wanted me to." Alex didn't know why he was asking Dane's permission when there was no way he could answer, but part of him wished that he would. The room was silent. Alex breathed in deeply, scanning the room for signs of anyone.

Dane's parents had left to talk to the doctor in a room down the hall 15 minutes ago, and no one had come into the room since. He felt his throat constrict, dry as sandpaper. He swallowed hard, clearing the cobwebs that had made their homes in his voice box.

"Alright, I'll sing." He pushed his lips together, unsure of how to proceed. He ran a thumb along Dane's hand. He shivered slightly himself before opening his mouth to sing softly, a whisper in the air.

_Step one you say we need to talk _  
><em>He walks, you say sit down it's just a talk<em>

Alex's voice wavered. It was more whispering than singing, but he hoped Dane wouldn't mind. He shut his eyes and ground his teeth together before continuing.

S_miles politely back at you _  
><em>You stare politely right on through.<em>

He wished that he would have been with Dane when it was about to happen. He would have held him to the bed, thrown the pill bottle out the window, anything. He would have done anything to save him. He was always pretending that he was okay, but Alex should have known. He should have seen right through his smile and into the deeper problems that Dane was having.

_Some sort of window to your right _  
><em>As he goes left and you stay right<em>  
><em>Between the lines of fear and blame<em>  
><em>You begin to wonder why you came<em>

He was always trying to make Dane feel better, but he never could. He felt as though there was always something just out of reach that would magically make him happy. But Dane was always on another spectrum entirely from where he was. He couldn't understand how much he meant to him no matter how hard he tried.

Alex felt his heart twist in his chest, but instead of stopping, the feeling propelled him onwards. He didn't notice the tears anymore. He had to finish this song. He had to finish it for Dane.

_Where did I go wrong?_  
><em>I lost a friend<em>  
><em>Somewhere along in the bitterness<em>  
><em>And I would have stayed up with you all night<em>  
><em>Had I known<em>  
><em>How to save a life<em>

He grabbed onto Dane's hand so tightly that his fingers began to lose all their feeling. He felt a million different emotions spin around at once. He didn't hear the heart monitor anymore. He didn't see anything other than Dane, but not how he was. He saw him happier. He saw all the good times they'd had together, and it was all so much that he thought he might faint.

Alex would do anything to change the way things were. There had to be something he had done wrong. If only there was some way for Dane to let him know. He had to know what he did wrong.

It was killing him from the inside, he could hardly sing anymore, he was gasping the words now so that they were hardly audible. If there was one thing he had to do for Dane, it was to finish this.

_Finish._

He commanded himself, gasping for air.

_Let him know that you know best_  
><em>'Cause after all you do know best<em>  
><em>Try to slip past his defense without granting innocence. <em>  
><em>Lay down a list of what is wrong the things you told him all along<em>  
><em>Pray to God he hears you, and pray to God he hears you.<em>

Alex was practically shouting the last lines, as though he was shouting to the man upstairs himself. He shut his eyes again, trying to make the tears stop. His whole body shook with energy, blinding his vision entirely.

It was as though the song was his lifeline to Dane, as though he was able to tell him all the things he should have told him before all of this happened just by singing louder.

If Dane woke up, he would try harder.

_Where did I go wrong? _  
><em>I lost a friend.<em>  
><em>Somewhere along in the bitterness <em>  
><em>And I would have stayed up with you all nightmares<em>  
><em>Had I known how to save a life.<em>

The song came to its close, and Alex's voice returned to a whisper. He opened his eyes, and looked at Dane's face and sobbed. He fell onto his still form and stayed that way as the heart monitor continued to beep in the background.

* * *

><p>Casey fell onto Derek's chest, shutting her eyes and knotting her fingers into the fabric of his t-shirt.<p>

"He'll wake up," Derek whispered into her ear, kissing the top of her head and running a hand through her hair. She shook her head, though in what direction, Derek couldn't tell. He felt as though he was going to throw up, but he kept his expression even.

He had to be brave for Casey, especially to make up for last time.

"It won't happen again." He said it for both of them. It wouldn't happen again. They couldn't lose two children on the same day. They couldn't.

He shut his eyes and made a face as though tasting cough syrup.

Casey pulled back and looked up at him. Mascara stained her cheeks, which were matted with tears. She pushed her lips together and opened them again, trying to form words. They came out strangled and she fell back into Derek's chest again.

"Why does this have to happen to us again?" she sobbed. Derek felt the tears soak his shirt, but he didn't care. He felt his chest constrict as Casey's words echoed in his ears. They were the words that he had been thinking for the entire time they had been at the hospital.

Why did this always have to happen to them? Were they that horrible of parents? Maybe that was why Dane was how he was. Maybe it was because they weren't meant to be parents.

Was this whatever cosmic being existed's way of telling them that? Derek ran a hand along Casey's back, pulling her as close to him as he possibly could.

"I don't know," he replied truthfully. His voice broke on the last word and he cleared his throat to cover it. He would not fall apart. "I've been asking myself that same question."

"First Anna now Dane-" She cut off again, stopping herself from sobbing any harder than she already was.

"Dane won't-" _Die._ Derek couldn't finish the word. He let the sentence hang in the air, but they both knew what he was going to say.

"Derek," Casey whispered, running circles along his chest. He could feel her hand shake and he reached up to steady it. He felt her breath still against him as he tried to stop his own hand from shaking. He looked down at her expectantly, urging her to continue. "I love you." She sighed, kissing his cheek. "No matter what happens we have each other." She whispered into his ear softly, and at that moment Derek lost it. He let out a dry sob.

It seemed as though hours passed, but it was merely minutes. Derek pulled back and dragged Casey with him to sit beside Dane's bed.

Their crying had slowed and they just stared at their son, holding hands, unable to say anything.

"The last time we were here I swore it would be our last," Casey said. Her voice was hollow, lifeless. "Looks like I was wrong."

"This will be the last time," Derek said with certainty. "We'll get him help. More help. We'll do whatever it takes." He squeezed Casey's hand, and she squeezed back.

"I'm worried about Bryce," Casey admitted, speaking her thoughts out loud. "I-I can't lose him too. We can't. I-" She trailed off.

"_I don't care! I want to talk to Anna!" Bryce wailed in Casey's arms as she tried to restrain him. He kicked and thrashed to free himself from her grasp, but she held on tighter. _

"_You can't talk to Anna-" Her voice shook, and tears began to form in her eyes again. "She's in a better place, Bryce. She's happy she's-"_

"_She's dead, isn't she?" Bryce stopped twisting in her grasp and looked up at her with big brown eyes. _

"_Oh Bryce...Sweetie...it's going to be-"_

"_She is!" He buried his head in Casey's chest. "She is! I knew it! I knew it!" He balled his hands into fists. _

He had cried for hours that night, and Casey remembered crying right along with him. She hated that she couldn't keep it together for him. She hated that he had to deal with that at such a young age, and most of all, she hated the fact that even though she had one of her children in her arms, she still wanted her daughter back.

"We won't lose Bryce." Derek said with certainty. He stared at Dane, as though by doing so, he would wake up any minute. "And we won't lose Dane either."

Casey looked over at him, and for a moment, she believed the statements to be true. Dane would be alright.

* * *

><p>Bryce wiped his eyes, sniffling as the air whistled around him. He shivered, pulling his arms tighter around himself. Goosebumps rose up on his arms, but he couldn't be bothered to go inside. The cold was somehow comforting, numbing. It made him feel somewhat sedated, when all he wanted to do was scream and cry.<p>

He was done crying now. He hated it. He hated how he had to cry on this day every year. He couldn't just go on like a normal person should be able to. It was three years ago since Anna had died and he was still crying.

He grabbed for a strand of grass that swayed in the wind. He ran it through his fingers, tearing it in two and throwing it back to the garden floor.

He closed his eyes and leaned against the cool brick wall, pulling his legs into himself.

Sometimes he liked to imagine that Anna was sitting next to him. She would spread her pink flowered skirt that she always liked to wear and talk about whatever the hell was on her mind. Boy that kid could talk.

Bryce smiled to himself at the memory. She would tell him about the boy in her kindergarten class that always pulled her hair, and how she pulled his hair back and got in trouble for it. He laughed under his breath remembering the way her face had looked. Her little cheeks flushed with anger, her lips turned into a pout, arms crossed over her chest.

He remembered the time they had played spy and used walkie-talkies to investigate what Dane and Damien were talking about in Dane's room. Anna always blew their cover because she would end up giggling, and Bryce would pretend to be mad, but would end up laughing himself.

Most of all he remembered the nights that one of them couldn't sleep and they crawled into bed with the other and talked about a million other things. Everything would just seem less scary with the other one there. Anna used to sing silly songs that she would make up on the spot and would pause for Bryce to join in. He always felt stupid doing it, but now he would give anything to sing to Anna again. She deserved every note.

Bryce leaned his head back, looking up to the gray sky. The sun was rolling into the clouds, but he couldn't be bothered to move.

"Why did this have to happen today?" he asked, a whisper in the wind. He let his eyes flutter closed again, swallowing a few times before speaking again. "I miss you, Anna." He didn't know why, but it made him feel better to talk to her. He liked to think she was listening from whatever Heaven she lived in now. She had to be in a Heaven. If there wasn't one, there had to be something for her. He hated to think that as perfect a little girl as her would be forced to live in an eternity of nothingness.

"We all miss you. And now Dane's in the hospital and I just don't know what to do, Anna." He readjusted himself against the wall, running a hand through his hair. He watched the flowers shuffle in the wind, as though waiting for a sign that she was actually listening to him. "I'm really going downhill. I'm so angry all the time and you always knew how to make me feel better."

He felt his chest constrict, as though a very heavy weight had been placed down on him. He gasped, the cold air filling his lungs and making it harder to breath.

"I don't know how to make things better."

He dropped his head in his hands. Dane was still unconscious, his parents were practically ready to plan his funeral, and worst of all, today was the day that Anna died. It wasn't fair. Why would Dane do this to him again? He had to know that Bryce loved him, right? They never exactly got along, but surely he didn't think killing himself would make anything better.

Losing another sibling wouldn't make anything better.

"I'm so scared, Anna. I'm scared he's going to die." His voice cracked, and he felt salty tears prickle under his eyelids, but he couldn't be bothered with that, not right now. "Don't let him die, Anna. Please. If you can do anything..."

He fell onto his knees, letting the sobs wrack his body like a ship in a storm. Why was everything so awful? Why did she have to die? Why did he have to be all alone all the time? The silence filled his ears like static, causing him to shake harder. It was too silent. It was always too silent.

"D-do you remember that one song you used to love?" he asked his knees, not bothering to lift his head up. "Drop in the Ocean, right?" He remembered Anna singing quietly in her soft angelic soprano in her room as he stood in the doorway. She had been so proud that she learned how to play the main melody on her little keyboard. She asked him to join in with her, but he had never really been much of a singer. Still, she had always wanted him to sing it with her.

"_Come on, Bryce!" Anna groaned in annoyance, crossing her arms over her chest and pursing her lips like she always did when she wanted someone to do something for her. "Just sing it once!"_

_Bryce shook his head and laughed a little under his breath, leaning against the door frame and watching his sister in amusement. _

"_I like to hear you sing!" he explained, grinning. She didn't buy it for a second, and sat down on the chair next to the keyboard, turning away from Bryce. "Come on!" Bryce continued. "I can't sing anyway. I'd probably mess you up!"_

"_You just don't want to sing." She humphed, turning her head over her shoulder and looking back at Bryce for a second before turning her nose up. Bryce tried his hardest not to laugh, because she was so adorable when she was trying to act angry. He moved across the room and kneeled down next to her. _

"_You just sound so beautiful that I couldn't compete."_

_She kept her nose turned up for a second more, but Bryce could see the smile forming on her lips. She finally turned back toward the keyboard and began singing without another word. _

He should have sung it with her. He regretted every moment that he didn't do something to make Anna happy. But there was no way to make up for it now.

He cleared his throat, scanning the area for signs that anyone was around.

They weren't.

"Do you want me to sing it for you now, Anna?" he whispered, his mouth barely opening. He waited for a moment, as though listening for her reply. "Okay." He could practically hear her clapping her hands like she always used to when she was excited.

_It's just a drop in the ocean, a change in the weather_  
><em>I was praying that you and me might end up together<em>  
><em>It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert<em>  
><em>But I'm holding you closer than most<em>  
><em>'Cause you are my heaven. <em>

Bryce tried to keep his voice steady. Anna deserved for him to sound as good as he possibly could. His voice was already shit, but the least he could do was to keep it steady. He bunched his hands into the grass and ground his teeth together, trying to keep himself from losing it altogether.

He imagined her sitting in front of him, cross legged, with those big brown eyes trained on him. He imagined her angelic smile urging him forward, and for a moment, he felt that he could continue. He had to continue, for her.

_I don't wanna face the weekend_  
><em>If you don't love me, pretend<em>  
><em>A few more hours then it's time to go<em>

Anna's gaze never left him in his mind. She was singing along with him, her tiny voice blending with his tenor in perfect harmony. She giggled happily and picked up a flower from the garden, twirling it in her fingers.

_As my train rolls down the East coast_  
><em>I wonder how you keep warm<em>  
><em>It's too late to cry, to broken to move on.<em>

Sometimes he couldn't believe that it had been three years since Anna had left him. He still felt her with him every single day of his life. He was with her in the music he listened to, the movies he watched, and at every family gathering he ever attended. She never left him. It was both a blessing and a curse.

Sometimes all he wanted to do was stay in bed and cry, but he knew Anna wouldn't want that. She wanted him to live, to get up. Sometimes she was the only reason to keep trying.

_Still I can't let you be_  
><em>Most nights I hardly sleep<em>  
><em>Don't take what you don't need<em>  
><em>From me<em>

Some nights he would lie awake and wonder what Anna was doing. Was she happy where she was now? Was she watching him? Was she singing? He liked to think she was.

That was why he joined the Warblers. Everyone thought it was just to show Dane up or to be with Lucie, and it was, but deep down he knew that Anna would want him to. That was most important.

He looked up and still saw Anna sitting in front of him, singing, and he could finally allow a small smile to trace his lips.

_It's just a drop in the ocean, a change in the weather_  
><em>I was praying that you and me might end up together<em>  
><em>It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert<em>  
><em>But I'm holding you closer than most<em>  
><em>'Cause you are my heaven. <em>

He remembered the way that Anna's little fingers used to stumble over the keyboard as she played her own version of the piano interlude. She used to blush when she made a mistake, but Bryce always told her that he never noticed.

_Misplaced trust and old friends _  
><em>Never counting regrets<em>  
><em>By the grace of God I do not rest at all<em>  
><em>In New England as the leaves change <em>  
><em>The last excuse that I'll claim <em>  
><em>I was a boy that loved a woman like a little girl <em>

He was always remembering all the things he should have done, all the missed opportunities they had. If only they had more time! He would have taken Anna to all the places she wanted to go. They could have gone to the movies to see that Disney movie she wanted to see, but he had been putting off taking her to because he was too old for that stuff.

Anna always came before anyone else now, and that's how it always should have been.

_Still I can't let you leave_  
><em>Most nights I hardly sleep <em>  
><em>Don't take what you don't need<em>  
><em>From me<em>  
><em>It's just a drop in the ocean<em>  
><em>A change in the weather<em>  
><em>I was praying that you and me might end up together<em>  
><em>It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert<em>  
><em>But I'm holding you closer than most<em>  
><em>'Cause you are my heaven. <em>

He shut his eyes letting the music completely take control of him. He heard Anna's voice ring out loud and clear in his ears and his heart beat sped up like a drum beat to the music. He could practically hear the keyboard playing the simple melody as though it was right next to him.

It was as though he was back in Anna's room at the side of the keyboard, singing with her. He could imagine her smile growing as the music reached its crescendo.

_Heaven doesn't seem far away any more now_  
><em>Heaven doesn't seem far away<em>

He knew Anna was in Heaven watching right now. She had to be. And maybe, just maybe, she wasn't really gone. Not really. She was there with him right now. She was always with him. She was singing with him. He knew it. He felt it.

_Heaven doesn't seem far away anymore _  
><em>Heaven doesn't seem far away<em>  
><em>Just a drop in the ocean <em>  
><em>A change in the weather<em>  
><em>I was praying that you and me might end up together<em>  
><em>It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert, <em>  
><em>But I'm holding closer than most<em>  
><em>'Cause you are my Heaven.<em>  
><em>You are my Heaven. <em>

The song ended and Bryce opened his eyes again. Anna was gone. The courtyard was empty. And he was left alone again.

He sat down and cried, his body shaking with the adrenaline that the song had pumped through his veins. Once again she had slipped through his fingers.

* * *

><p>Dear Damien,<p>

'I went into the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life…to put to rout all that was not life; and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.' –Henry David Thoreau.

Do you remember when we were four years old and my dad was filming you, me, Bryce, and Anna in ballet skirts? Or when we were seven and we went to Disneyland with your dads, just the two of us and we got pictures with all our favorite characters and you threw up on my shoes in Space Mountain? Or when we were thirteen and we got drunk and drove your dads' car down the road at top speed laughing so we wouldn't cry? It's that kind of thing that I remember best, the times with you and me being best friend with nothing between us, none of the shit that I've brought to the table recently.

I know you don't think I should blame myself for what happened last night, but I don't know how to stop. No one could help, and you saved my life so many times. Because of you I was there to meet Alex, and Lucie, and make new friends and have some more good memories before it was my time to go.

I know you're probably thinking I don't know that it's my time but I just know. It wasn't her time to go when she died, but it's my time now. I _know_.

You helped me live, Damien, against all odds, you wrestled knives out of my hands and took me to the hospital, you waited in the waiting room while they stitched me up, all nice and new except they can't replace my mind, can they? So what could you do? Nothing. You couldn't have done anything, I'm telling you that.

But that's just _existing. _You helped me to exist. And then I lived. I lived so much with you, I laughed and smiled around you, and you're the best friend in the whole entire world. Don't let yourself tell you otherwise. It's not true.

I want you to hold yourself together, okay? You don't need to do _shit_ for anyone else. Don't comfort them, don't wrestle knives out of their hands (though I doubt anyone but me would make you do this), don't do anything. Just focus on yourself. You're too strong for other people and not strong enough for yourself, Damien.

I love you.

Dear Mom,

I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry to take another child from you. But I have to. I just can't be here anymore. I've tried – not _very_ hard because I can't do that either. I've tried to find happiness and it's nowhere. I've tried to lift the guilt that I drag around everyone but I can't do that either. I can't do anything.

I don't want to hurt you. I want you to have all three children and be perfectly happy. I want that for you because you're the best mom ever. You always know what to do for me, and whenever I had those random maladies I used to have as a kid, you'd be there to fix it. When I got those earaches you knew just what to do. When I got those migraines you took me to the doctor's and held my hand.

It's not your fault. It isn't. Please don't try to find a way that it is because it really, _really_ isn't. You've been nothing short of the most amazing, perfect mother ever.

I can't thank you enough for all that you've done for me. I'm sorry to take myself away from you like I took her. But I really think you'd all be better off, and if I didn't think that I wouldn't do it. Please just don't dwell on me. It would be best for you to just forget.

If I go to Heaven I'll try to exchange my life for hers and maybe she can come back. It's worth a shot. And if not, remember that she and I are together.

I love you.

Dear Lucie,

We'd only just started to be friends and you'd changed me so much already. It's like that one song you like, For Good from Wicked. 'Because I knew you, I have been changed for good.' I've been a better person, or I've tried my very best to be. You're so beautiful and friendly to everyone and you go out of your way to do things for people. You're like the moral compass of everybody's lives.

We've had so many good times and I wish we could have more but I hope you can understand why we can't. Don't find some way to blame yourself. Everyone does that and it's not your fault. It really, really, really isn't.

Please do something for me, though. Make sure Damien dumps Alice and make sure you and he get together. You need each other I think. And you both love each other. I promise you do. And you're so good together. You might need each other even more now…

And your brother… Please please try to get him to move on. I don't want to ruin his life with this. And we've only known each other a year so it shouldn't be too hard. I know he has the best sister ever to help him through this though.

I love you.

Dear Alex,

I want you to know that this isn't your fault. You aren't going to believe me when I say that, but you have to know that the moments I spent with you were some of my happiest. I never was upset because of you. You did everything that you could have possibly done to make me happy.

I always brought you down. You always had to worry about me and that wasn't fair. I ruined your Christmas because I'm so damn selfish, but I just can't do this anymore. You'll be so much happier when I'm gone. You don't think you will be now, but you will. I don't want you to think this was your fault. I don't want you to look back and think what you could have down to help me, because no one can help me. You need to go on with your life and forget about this whole year. It's for the best. I just wasn't strong enough to deal with life, and I know you don't understand that, but I'm happier now. I couldn't even tell you about what a terrible person I really am.

I want you to remember all the good times we had together, but don't dwell on them too much. Just think of them as memories that are long gone. I want you to remember me that way. I want you to remember the time that we danced around my dorm to 'Pocketful of Sunshine' and didn't care how stupid we looked. And the time that we went to the zoo and you took a million pictures and I acted all annoyed, but really I thought you were the most adorable thing ever. I want you to remember the time we watched Zombieland and ate Twinkies and drank Code Red and laughed our asses off. I want you to remember the time we kissed after regionals and everything was perfect. Most of all, I just want you to know that all the times we spent together were the happiest in my life.

If you're reading this, someone probably told you what today is. I killed her, Alex. I know everyone says that I didn't, but I know that I did. I killed my little sister. It was all my fault. I was so fucking stupid. And now you know that Bryce has a reason to hate me just as much as everyone else in my family should. I put their lives on hold too many times and I'm ending it.

Please go on with your life. I want you to go out and become a photographer and meet a nice guy and get married and have a bunch of kids and be happy as you deserve to be. If there's anyone in this world that deserves to be happy, it's you, Alex. And I won't let me get in the way of that. I love you too much for that.

Please don't be upset.

I love you.

Dear Bryce,

You were right, I'm not strong enough to handle anything. And now I'm taking another child away from Mom and Dad because I'm so weak. You were right to hate me when I killed Anna. You were the only one that believed it was completely my fault, and you had every right to hate me for that.

You need to stop bringing yourself down. I see you Bryce. You aren't happy. You snap at Mom and Dad and you hate everyone around you. I know it's hard without Anna, and wherever I go when I die, I would do anything to exchange my life for her. I really would.

You have so much to offer Bryce. You're amazing at baseball and math. I could never even hit a ball to save my life. I was always so jealous of that. You were always everything that dad ever wanted in a son. Don't take that for granted. You're smarter and more capable than you think. Maybe now that I'm gone you'll finally be able to be happy. I won't be there to make everyone worry about me anymore. You'll get all the attention that you deserve from Mom and Dad and you'll all be happy. Don't think it's your fault.

I know we never were really friends, and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry that we always fought and I was never there for you when you were upset because I was so caught up in my own problems.

Remember when we were kids and we used to all go sledding together? You, me, Damien and Anna? I wish things could be like that. But they can't. I fucked things up too much for that.

I really hope that you'll try to get along better with Damien when I'm gone. I think you both need someone. He's a really good guy and I know you guys never got along, but I think things would be better if you tried. I want you to try.

Maybe if I wasn't around everyone else could have been happy.

Despite everything you think, I do love you, Bryce. You're my brother, and I always have.

I love you.

Dear Dad,

I don't know what to say except that it's not your fault. What I did was for me. I just couldn't do it anymore, Dad! I can't. I hate how everyone watches me constantly. I can't even go to the bathroom without someone thinking I'm going to stab myself. Everyone walks on pins and needles with me and nothing is getting any better.

I just can't get better, Dad. I know you think that's not true, but it is. Every day is a battle for me. Just getting out of bed is the hardest thing in the world.

The therapy doesn't help, Uncle Julian doesn't help, even Alex doesn't completely help. No one can make me better because I'm too screwed up.

It's not your fault, Dad. I know you always think it is, but it isn't. I lied to you about being gay, I gave you so much to worry about, I killed my sister. I've done so much to make your life harder, and now I'm ending it. Now you and mom and Bryce can all be happy and you won't have anything to worry about anymore. You can all just have a normal family.

I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment, Dad. You've always been everything I've needed. You played baseball with me when I was little, and even though I was total shit, you told me I was good. You watched all the zombie movies I liked even though you don't really like them at all, and you actually listened when I rambled on about plotlines to stories that I made up. You were a good dad, Dad. I just don't want you to think that this is your fault.

Please make sure that Mom's okay. I'm sorry I took another child away from you. I just can't do this.

I love you.

**IT DOESN'T END HERE. Will Dane wake up? Maybe, maybe not. You'll just have to wait and see…**


	24. Chapter 24: The End of the Year

**Chapter 24**

**Hey everyone! **

**Another trigger warning for cutting and suicide.**

**We're aware that no one is really going to read this because you want to get to the chapter already but here's the breakdown of who wrote what:**

**Therapy session – Helen **

**The Seigersons come to visit Dane in the mental hospital for Christmas – Helen **

**Dalex Christmas – Caitlin**

**Dane's story for Alex – Helen **

**New Years' – Caitlin **

**Bryce and Dane talking – Helen **

**So without further ado…**

* * *

><p><em>Two Days Later<em>

"Alright, Dane," the therapist, Dr. Smith, folded his hands and let them rest on his desk. Dane squirmed under his gaze. "Would you like to tell me a bit about yourself, or would you like to let me ask you questions?"

Dane shrugged.

"Okay," Dr. Smith said in a patronizing voice, "I'll ask you questions, alright?"

Dane nodded.

"So you've been going to therapy for how long?"

"Since March." Dane's voice felt small in his ears and the therapist had to lean in to hear him.

"And how do you like that?"

"I don't know."

"Why not?"

Dane shrugged.

"Do you answer your therapist's questions honestly?"

Dane shrugged again.

"Alright Dane." Dr. Smith sat back in his chair and eyed the boy in front of him. "You're going to need to give me truthful answers. I know you know the answers to these questions, and you know that I need to hear them. Can you please tell me why you don't answer your therapist's questions honestly?"

"I answer some of them honestly," Dane said, rubbing his temple.

"Does your head hurt?"

"Yes."

"Does it hurt often?"

"Yes."

"Are you nervous right now?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I'm afraid."

"What are you afraid of?"

"Of you making me stay here for longer."

"And why would that be so bad?"

"Because I'd miss Alex and Damien and Lucie."

"Who are they?"

"Alex is my-my boyfriend, and Damien and Lucie are my best friends."

Dr. Smith looked like this was a very interesting turn of events and Dane looked down at his hands. "Would you like to tell me a little bit about them?" Dr. Smith asked.

Dane just shrugged. "Would _you_ like me to?"

"Yes," Dr. Smith said.

"Alex is…" Dane trailed off, not able to think of what he should say about Alex or Damien or Lucie.

"Is he a good boyfriend?" Dr. Smith prompted.

"Yes."

"Do you like him?"

"I love him."

"How long have you been going out?"

"Almost a year."

Dr. Smith looked impressed. "Does he live near you?"

"He lives in New York but he transferred to Dalton when we started going out."

"And are you glad that he transferred?"

"Yeah."

"What do you like about him?"

"He's really funny and cute and smart and he makes me smile and he's not afraid of anything."

"He's not afraid of anything?"

"No."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"Well he is afraid of stuff but not like me."

"What are you afraid of?"

"Everything."

"Everything." He repeated this like it was a very interesting thing to say.

"Yeah."

"Does Alex know you're afraid of 'everything?'"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't want him to know."

"Why not?"

"Because I want him to think I'm brave."

"Why don't you think you're brave?"

"Because I'm scared of everything." Dane said this in a 'duh, aren't you supposed to be a professional here?' voice.

"Do you tell your normal therapist any of this stuff?"

"Some of it."

"Why not all of it?"

"I don't feel like it."

"Why don't you feel like it?"

"I just don't."

"Let's get back to your friends. What about Damien?"

"Damien's my best friend since we were born. He's a few months older than me."

"How do you know him?"

"My dad and his parents are best friends."

"And you like Damien?"

"Yeah."

"Does he make you smile?"

"Yeah."

"As much as Alex does?"

"Not anymore."

"Why not anymore?"

"Because now he has all this girl shit."

"What does that mean?"

"He loves this one girl, my friend Lucie, but he's with Alice because he's confused and he doesn't have time for me anymore."

"What makes you say that?"

"We live together but he's always doing homework or with Alice and when we do talk I always ask him about Lucie."

"Why do you do that?"

"Because I don't want to talk about me."

"Doesn't he want to talk about you?"

"Maybe he does."

"So why don't you let him?"

"Because he's already dealt with me before."

"Dealt with you?"

"Yeah, the other times I tried to kill myself he stopped me."

"So you didn't want him to stop you again, so you didn't let him know how you were really feeling."

"Yeah I guess."

"You should tell Damien how you feel all the time, he probably really wants to hear how you're feeling."

"Maybe he does."

"Now, can you tell me about when you came out?"

"When I came out?" Dane was playing with a pen that was sitting on the desk.

"Yes. You're gay, correct?"

"Yeah." He clicked the pen a few times and then started doodling on his jeans with it.

"Dane, I'm going to have to ask you to give me the pen," Dr. Smith said, reaching out a hand for it.

"Why?" Dane asked, digging it into his leg.

"You know why. Come on, give it to me now."

Dane sighed and handed over the pen.

"Tell me about coming out."

"It was last spring."

"And how long did you know you were gay?"

"Awhile."

"And how long did it take for you to come out?"

"Awhile."

"How long is that?"

"Couple years."

"Why is that?"

"Because I was scared."

"Why were you scared?"

"Of being a disappointment."

"Why did you think being gay made you a disappointment?"

"Because it meant I wasn't the son my dad wanted."

"What son did your dad want?"

"One who got lots of girls and was good at sports."

"And aren't you good at sports?"

"No."

"But he took it well?"

"Yeah."

"And did he ever do anything to suggest that you were a disappointment?"

"No."

"What about the rest of your family? How did your mother take it?"

"Fine."

"And do you have any siblings?"

"My brother, Bryce."

"What did he think about it?"

"About what?"

"About you being gay."

"He's okay with it I guess."

"You guess?"

"He was never really all that happy with me in the first place."

"And is he your only sibling?"

"Yes."

"I should tell you that I know about Anna."

"Can we not talk about Anna?"

"We have to talk about her."

"Why?"

"She's the reason you're here."

"No she isn't."

"I understand that you feel responsible for her death," Dr. Smith said, leaning forward and staring intently into Dane's eyes. "Why?"

"Because it was my fault!"

"How was it your fault?"

"Because I was the one who got drunk and let her go bike riding even though it was dark!"

"Were you the only one watching her?"

"Damien was there."

"And how did she die?"

"I don't like talking about it."

"You need to talk about it for it to get better."

"It's not going to get better."

"Not if you don't talk about it."

"I'm tired."

"You can't go to sleep until later."

"How come?"

"It's the rules."

"My head hurts."

"Someone can give you some aspirin when you're done talking to me."

"Aspirin doesn't do anything."

"How did your little sister die?"

"She got hit by a car."

"Why?"

"Because I let her go biking at night!"

"And why did you do that?"

"I don't know, I was drunk!"

"So your decision-making was impaired."

"Yes."

"So it's not really your fault. The only decision you made was to get drunk."

"While babysitting her."

"You need to forgive yourself."

"I can't forgive myself."

"Why not?"

"No one else does."

"Sure they do."

"Bryce doesn't."

"Will you see Bryce soon?"

"Yeah."

"Then I want you to talk to him about it. Ask him if he forgives you."

Dane bit his lip as hard as he could and didn't say anything.

"Now you may go, you can get some aspirin if you want it," Dr. Smith said.

"Thanks," Dane mumbled, standing up and turning around.

"Thank you for talking to me, Dane," Dr. Smith replied.

* * *

><p>"You may go in," the receptionist said as Derek signed his name on the visitor sheet. "But be quiet, some patients are still sleeping."<p>

"Merry Christmas," Casey said to the woman with a nod.

"Merry Christmas," she replied, and Derek bent down to pick up the bag of presents he had set on the floor.

They started down the hall, each holding a large bag of presents, all the gifts that would have been under the tree. Casey held a little plastic Christmas tree in addition to her bag of presents, and Bryce held two bags. Presents, it turns out, take up a lot of room when you put them in trash bags.

"Bryce," Derek said, his hand on the doorknob to Dane's room, his voice hushed, "please, just try to-"

"I will," Bryce said quickly. "Do you think I'm an idiot or something?"

"No," Casey said, intervening, "we just know that your temper can be short sometimes. You'll be fine though, we trust you."

"Good," Bryce grumbled. Casey nudged him in the ribs with the Christmas tree and he looked up at her.

"I think you're really going to help him," she said. "Thanks for coming."

"I had no choice, this is our family Christmas." Bryce rolled his eyes. "I didn't want to sit at home alone and open my presents by myself."

"Are we ready?" Derek asked, looking nervous. This was the first time they'd been allowed to visit their son, and he'd been in the hospital for a week now. There was something about how the patient was supposed to be isolated from anything that would cause stress in their lives…

But since this was Christmas, exceptions had been made.

"Yep," Casey replied, and Derek opened the door slowly.

Dane was sitting on his bed in jeans and a navy blue sweatshirt that said Dalton Academy Warblers on it, apparently waiting for his family.

"Hey there, sport," Derek said, walking into the sparse room that looked like a cheap hotel room. There was a bed, a closet, a bathroom, and a dresser on each side of a hanging partition.

Dane just looked at them from his bed where he sat cross-legged, playing with the comforter.

"We brought Christmas!" Casey said cheerfully, holding up the tree.

Derek had put his bag of presents down and joined Dane on the bed. He sat next to him and gave him a hug which Dane returned stiffly.

Bryce was looking nervously at the partition.

"He's gone," Dane said, and the three of them looked at him nervously. "My roommate. I said you guys were coming and he left."

Relieved that he was just talking about his roommate and not spouting off about some deep inner psychological torment, Casey and Bryce went about taking the presents out of the bags and setting them up on the floor around the Christmas tree.

"You guys didn't have to come," Dane said quietly, pulling at the threads in the comforter.

"We wanted to, we couldn't have Christmas without you," Derek said, ruffling his hair. Dane just looked down at his hands.

"This won't stand up," Bryce said loudly, talking about the Christmas tree which kept falling over.

Casey set about trying to readjust it in its stand, and Dane said, "I thought they didn't let you come in here with packages and three people at a time. They have a shitload of rules about that shit…"

"Yes well, it's Christmas so they made a few exceptions," Casey said, pulling at the stand.

A silence fell over the room.

"Well, shall we open presents then?" Derek asked, standing up.

"Yes, let's do that," Casey said, and Dane got up reluctantly and walked the short distance from the bed to the little open area between the two beds. Casey pushed aside the partition so they had more room, and they saw the other half of the room, equally as sparse and boring as Dane's half.

"Do you like your roommate?" Derek asked, picking up a present and looking at the tag.

"No. His name is Trevor, he's really weird."

"Here, we're giving you your birthday gifts first," Casey said, handing Dane a present. "Then we'll do Christmas."

"What, no cake?" Dane joked dryly, and Casey and Derek looked at each other in horror. "I'm kidding!" Dane said, digging his fingernails into the tape to unwrap the gift. "Calm down." As he carefully removed the wrapping paper without tearing it, he said, "Besides they made me a cake here. When they found out it was my birthday they asked me what kind of cake I wanted and I said chocolate and they found some and made me a chocolate cake. I didn't really eat much of it but it was pretty nice anyways." He looked at the object in his hands – a copy of the Dead Poets Society, his favorite movie. He tried to smile in thanks, but it probably looked weird. "Thanks," he said, setting it aside.

"I got it for you," Bryce said from where he was leaning against the wall. "I remembered how you said it was your favorite and your copy got lost so." He shrugged.

Dane looked at him in surprise. "Thanks, Bryce," he said, and his mouth twitched into a half-smile that didn't reach his eyes.

* * *

><p>"He's ready for you to see him." The nurse smiled at Alex, who had been in the waiting room for the last ten minutes quietly, making small talk with the receptionist.<p>

He sighed in relief, carefully picking up a wrapped package with penguins on it that held Dane's Christmas and birthday present. Dane loved penguins.

Alex followed her down a small hallway that smelled like medicine to Dane's room. She turned the knob slowly and Alex resisted the urge to run into the room as soon as the door was opened.

He saw Dane sitting in his bed, reading a book, bundled up in a blue sweater.

"Someone's here to see you." The nurse grinned as Dane nearly threw his book across the room. Alex smiled, walking over to the side of Dane's bed.

"Merry late Christmas, Daners." He sat down in the chair next to him and carefully placed the present on his bed, never taking his eyes off of the other boy, as though they couldn't get enough of each other. He took his hand and squeezed it.

The nurse wrote something down on her clipboard and walked toward the door.

"I'll leave you two alone, but call if you need anything." She added the last part mostly for Dane, who rolled his eyes. He hated how everyone always assumed he needed something here.

Alex watched as the nurse left out the door, waited to hear the click, and then leaned down and kissed Dane gently on the forehead.

"I missed you," he whispered, reaching for his camera to take a picture. Dane made a face at the camera, but smiled.

"Saying I missed you is a bit of an understatement, Andy." He ran his thumb over Alex's, enjoying the feeling of the other boy's hand on his own after not seeing him for so long.

"Aren't you supposed to be with your family?" Dane asked, alarmed. It seemed like everyone was taking time out of their holiday for him.

"They thought I should come see you too." It hadn't taken much convincing for Alex to come to see Dane. He had been so worried during Christmas that he could hardly enjoy it. He just kept thinking about what Dane would be doing. Was he having a good Christmas? Was he getting better? Were the therapists helping him?

"I brought you your birthday and Christmas gifts," Alex said, handing him the box that he had placed on the bed. "The birthday gift is just a joke, but I got you something real for Christmas."

"You didn't have to-"

"Of course I did."

"I didn't get you something," Dane looked down guiltily, playing with the sleeves of his sweatshirt. "I just wrote you a story."

"I love your stories," Alex said, smiling and snapping another picture. "Stop worrying about me."

Dane nodded and took the box that Alex had handed him.

"Birthday gift first," He pulled out a stack of magazines from his messenger bag, thrusting them at Dane. "Seventeen copies of Seventeen for your seventeenth." Alex laughed as Dane rolled his eyes.

"Just what I always wanted!" He hugged one of the magazines close to his chest and a ghost of a smile graced his lips. Alex sighed in relief and snapped another picture of him, as though he had to get as many photos taken of his boyfriend as he possibly could before he faded away.

"Where did you get these?" Dane asked, amused. Alex blushed and looked down.

"Well they obviously aren't _mine_."

"Mhm."

"They're Lucie's." He laughed, hitting Dane's arm playfully. "Someone got her a subscription a long time ago, but she never really looks at them, so I thought I should at least put them to good use."

For the first time in a while, Dane actually laughed, and the sound flooded Alex with relief.

"So if you liked those, you'll really love what I actually got you." Alex tapped his foot nervously. He had thought for weeks about the perfect gift to get Dane for Christmas. It had to be something that showed him how much he meant to him. And when he had ended up in the hospital, the project meant even more.

He watched, holding his breath, as Dane carefully undid the wrapping paper, as though making sure he didn't hurt it. He glanced up at Alex before unwrapping the object entirely and placing it in his lap.

"Oh. Alex..." It was a large red scrapbook, with a picture of the two of them at the beach the last summer that Damien had taken on the front. They were both wearing huge grins and had their arms around each other. He remembered the second after it was taken, Alex had grabbed his hand and led him to the water, where a huge wave knocked them both over. Damien had rolled his eyes and taken another picture, but neither of them noticed because they were too busy laughing and spitting out salt water to care.

Dane carefully ran a finger of the cover and opened the book, pausing at the first page.

In unusually neat hand written print was a note from Alex.

_Dear Daners,_

_So, you know how people always say a picture's worth a thousand words? Well your picture is worth so much more than that, and that's why I have so many. Alright, so that was kind of cheesy, but I'm trying to be romantic, so bear with me. _

Dane looked up from the scrapbook and laughed, giving Alex a look of endearment and squeezing his hand before returning to the letter.

"Don't laugh at it too much, okay?" Alex wrung his hands together, watching as Dane scanned the page.

_I don't really know where to begin, or what to say, but I will say this. You are the best thing to ever happen to my life. You're not just my boyfriend, you're my best friend. You're the only dude I'd ever want to stay up with until three in the morning texting, even though I'm so tired that I can't even think of what to say anymore, and I just end up typing corny things about how much I love you. And you never seem to mind. And you're the only guy I've ever been able to just be my usual sarcastic weird self without feeling like I'm being judged. You just get me. And that's something that can never be replaced._

_You're always saying things about how you're not good enough, but you are more than good enough, Daners. You're perfect in every way that a person can be perfect. You write amazing stories that make me laugh and ones that make me cry too. And you're so funny. You always think up these jokes that I could never come up with in a million years. Remember that time we saw that really girly chick flick and we made jokes the whole time and then ended up making out for the rest of the thing? Or what about that other time that we went to the ice skating rink and raced each other around until we were both so out of breath that we collapsed onto each other on one of the benches? When we're just hanging out together I feel so happy that I think I might explode sometimes. There's no one that can make me smile quite like you can, and all I want to do is make you just as happy as you make me. _

_So I made this book of almost all the pictures I've taken of you (Only the best ones because I have at least 1,000), or people have taken of us, and I wrote captions under them explaining why I took the picture or how I felt in the picture. I hope it makes you feel happy. _

_I love you, _

_Anders_

Dane stared at the page for an unknown amount of time, tracing the words as he read and reread the contents of the letter, then he looked up at Alex and saw him watching him and he nearly lost it. He felt his throat close up, and his chest expand, and in that moment, he was so in love with the boy with the messy curls and wide rimmed glasses that it took everything inside of him not to tackle him to the ground.

And on top of that all, he felt a strange sense of guilt, because Alex was the most amazing boyfriend that anyone could ever ask for, and he had given him the best Christmas present in the world, and Dane had tried to kill himself. He ruined Alex's Christmas because he couldn't handle his own life, and that wasn't fair at all.

All he had to give Alex was a crappy story he had written on the paper they gave him in the hospital.

"I love you, Andy," he whispered, trying not to cry, but feeling the tears tickle the edges of his eyelids. "This is amazing, you're amazing, it does make me happy." He bit his lip, trying to stop himself from getting overly emotional.

Alex's eyes softened, leaning in to hug Dane. He ran a hand along his back, as Dane clutched at the back of his t-shirt. Alex rested his head against Dane's and smiled.

"I'm glad you like it," he whispered, kissing the top of Dane's head. "I thought it would make you feel better, maybe..."

Dane nodded rapidly, hiding his face in Alex's chest.

Alex rocked him back and forth slowly, and Dane found himself wanting to stay in the comfort of Alex's arms for the remainder of his visit.

"All I have for you is some crappy story," he mumbled into Alex's t-shirt.

Alex pulled back and ran a thumb along Dane's cheek.

"Did you read the letter?" he asked softly. He hated the fact that Dane never believed the things he told him. "I love your stories."

Dane leaned over to pick up the papers that sat on his nightstand and hesitated before slowly handing them to Alex.

"It's not very good, and I showed it to my therapist and now they think I need _more_ counseling or some shit even though it's just a _story_ and I understand if you don't like it but-"

"Shh." Alex took Dane's hand again and gave it a comforting squeeze. "I'm sure it's amazing. You're amazing." Dane swallowed and took a deep breath, watching as Alex began to read.

_In a lonely town in Ohio, there was a boy named Zane who read newspapers. That was what he did. He sat alone in his house all day and he read the newspapers, all of them, every single newspaper he could get his hands on. He sat at his kitchen table and ate donuts and fried chicken and he scoured the papers, front to back, sometimes more than ten per morning, looking for signs of the Zombie Apocalypse._

_He was obsessed with it. His parents forced him to go to school but as soon as he turned 18, even though he was halfway through his senior year, he stopped because school wasn't as interesting as the newspapers._

_He especially liked the little small-town ones from places like Washington or Montana, the ones where crazy guys in fedoras with cigars caught between their lips wrote about things like alien sightings (there was this one time where someone got a picture of a UFO and it was on page _two_ which Zane loved because that meant that this paper knew what it was doing and what was important) (he'd gotten a copy every day since that day, even though the paper was in Spanish and Zane had to read it by looking up every word in his Spanish-English dictionary which he'd gotten at the dollar store the same day he saw the UFO story). These papers were the ones where he figured he'd learn the most about the impending Zombie Apocalypse._

_Sometimes he heard little whispers, things written in between the lines, and he'd save up enough money to go to that town because dammit he really wanted to witness the beginning of the end. But as soon as he had the money saved up he'd be sitting in the airport with his suitcase packed and all ready to go and he'd catch another glimpse, another whisper, and it was back to square one because this new whisper meant that it was another beginning, somewhere else, and he should go _there_ because well that was where all the fresh action was wasn't it? But then by the time he'd gotten around to making the plans to go there – because he couldn't exactly just hop on another plane and go. There had to be _plans_, he had to know where he was going and where he'd stay there and it was all very complicated for Zane. He couldn't go unless everything was really definite and easy to understand. Like newspapers._

_It was 9:42 AM on a sweltering August morning – that was what he'd write in his diary made of newspaper that he'd bound together himself – when he met her. _(Note to Alex: Sorry for making you a girl.) (Actually, fuck it, you deserve to be a dude.) (Scratch that, pretend I wrote him.) (I can't erase with a pen.) _He was walking out of the bakery in town eating a croissant with the crumbs falling to the sidewalk. Zane watched him but as the man walked by Zane hid behind his newspaper. As the man walked away though, Zane couldn't help but peer over the top of the paper and watch as he walked down the street and around the corner._

_At 9:42 AM the next morning Zane made sure to be in the same place._

_However, it turned out that most normal people don't go to the bakery to get croissants – or anything – at the same time every day._

_But of course the man had to come back at some point, didn't he? Unless he'd decided he didn't like the croissant, though from the look on his face he did like it…_

_Well maybe he moved out of town, or maybe he'd seen Zane and been creeped out by the guy with the newspaper watching him…_

_Just in case he wasn't creeped out, Zane decided to just come around every morning at 9:41 (in case the man decided to come a bit early) and hope that the guy showed up again. _

_9:47 AM, September 7__th__, the guy showed up again, and he went into the bakery and Zane almost missed him because he was reading an especially interesting article about a crop circle in South Dakota. (Sometimes Zane was interested in alien things because aliens were second-most-interesting after zombies, and zombies weren't as heavily documented as aliens, even if you knew where to look.)_

_Zane stood up and straightened his tie and coughed a few times to clear his throat. He folded up the newspaper (marking the page he was reading by folding over the corner because even though this guy with the croissant was more interesting than crop circles which were admittedly a pretty boring phenomenon in the spectrum of phenomenons, Zane still wanted to finish the article) and held it for good luck as he walked up to the man._

"_Hi do you know anything about zombies?" he asked and then cursed at himself inside his head for the whole two seconds it took the man to be surprised and then to say that he knew a little bit._

Why do you have to be such an idiot, Zane? Why'd you go and say that?

"_I think they're interesting," the man said slowly, eyeing Zane. "Zombieland is one of my favorite movies…"_

"_Really?" Zane asked, all hopeful, and I'm not going to bore you with the details but Zane and the guy whose name was Andy fell in love._

Alex grinned.

"I think I like this Zane guy."

Dane kept his eyes down on his comforter. He hated it when people read his writing when he was right there. He didn't want to see their reaction, in case it sucked.

"Just keep reading," he mumbled.

_One day Zane heard a knock on his door._

"_Hey, I found something in this that you might like," Andy said once Zane had opened the door, brandishing the newspaper and whacking it with his hand to show emphasis. Zane took it and read the front-page article:_

_**The Zombie Apocalypse Is Finally Here**_

"_What's this from?" Zane asked, looking up at Andy incredulously, and then allowing his eyes to drift back to the paper to see –_

"_SHIT! THE __**NEW YORK TIMES**__?" He dropped the paper and then bent down to pick it up immediately, dusting it off as if it were sacred which it was._

"_Yeah." Andy grinned. "And look." He held up two plane tickets. "Two tickets, New York City, we leave tonight."_

"_But-" Zane's eyes were wide as he took in the article, reading it line by line, every word, about the spread of the zombie infection, and how everyone should take protective measures, and stay indoors, and… "Wow," he said, letting out a low whistle._

"_Yep." Andy looked proud of himself, as if he'd done something really good, like buy them tickets to Greece and not their deaths._

_Ah, well, you can imagine what happened. They flew to New York City and the second they got off the plane, they were told to leave, to get back on and go somewhere else. Police were hoping to isolate it in the city, keep it there, but of course it wouldn't work._

"_They're crazy," Zane whispered in Andy's ear, looking around at the mass panic that police were trying in vain to handle. "It's a Zombie Apocalypse, they can't just stop it, it's inevitable now…"_

"_Aren't you afraid?" Andy asked. Zane could see that he had turned white, pale and ghostly... (Ghosts weren't really all that interesting to Zane. They were spectacularly boring, and never really did anything of interest. They were dead and they stayed put where they were. Usually they just ended up back in the house they'd lived in before dying, how boring was _that_?)_

"_Please don't turn into a ghost," Zane said. "If you face a zombie just let them bite you and then run, don't you dare get eaten."_

"_What…" Andy's eyebrows raised and he looked like someone had told him Christmas was canceled. "Aren't you going to fight the zombies?"_

"_Hm?" Zane looked around at a woman who was arguing with a police officer. "Fight them? No way, that's not possible." He picked up his bag and started walking, Andy on his heels._

"_You're just going to let them take over?"_

"_Have to."_

"_But I thought you were going to fight them! Like in Zombieland, can't you do that?"_

"_Don't want to."_

"_Why not?"_

"_Because sooner or later the zombies will win. Why fight them?" Zane looked at Andy with eyes of someone who had given up but wanted to enjoy the end. "Come on, let's go."_

"_Go where?" Andy asked, and pulled his hand away from where Zane had tried to take it._

"_I don't know. Out of the airport, somewhere we can watch."_

"_Watch the Zombie Apocalypse."_

"_Yeah, that's the whole point."_

"_You're not going to fight them."_

"_Nope."_

_So with a sigh, Andy followed Zane out into the street where he was bitten almost immediately by a zombie that came up behind him. Zane just looked at the zombie and at Andy, who had jumped back and kicked at the zombie. It just moved on, toward Zane, who stood still._

"_Don't you want to watch the apocalypse?" Andy asked, looking royally pissed off._

"_Yes," Zane said, backing away from the oncoming zombie._

"_Then watch it! Don't get killed in the first five seconds!" Andy jumped onto the zombie and tackled him to the ground and held him there. "GO!"_

"_But…" Zane looked back at Andy, torn._

"_GO YOU FUCKING IDIOT!"_

_Zane went, and as he did he realized that he really was a fucking idiot._

Alex blinked at the page, frowning and rereading the last few paragraphs again.

"You hate it don't you?" Dane looked up from where he was currently examining a particularly interesting floor tile. "You don't have to say you like it. I know it's shit."

Alex bit his lip and sat the paper down on the end table, before pulling Dane back to his arms.

"He's not a fucking idiot," whispered Alex, "Andy wanted him to be happy."

"He let him get attacked by a fucking _zombie_ all because he wanted to watch everyone else _die_." He pulled back from Alex, biting down on his lip so hard that it hurt.

"Everyone makes mistakes."

"It's just a story, Alex."

Alex pushed his lips together.

"I know you, Daners."

They were silent for a moment, loud voices from the hallway could be heard, and Dane felt suddenly uneasy.

"You didn't do anything wrong," Alex whispered, getting up from his chair and sitting on the side of Dane's bed. "It's not your fault."

"Can we please not talk about this now?" Dane asked, shifting uncomfortably in his bed. "It was just a story."

Alex frowned, debating in his mind whether or not to push the subject. Dane was already so upset, and he didn't want to bring his mood down anymore. He just wanted him to be happy for as long as he could be, because that was what he needed right now.

"Alright," he said, "I loved it either way. It was amazing. And Zane was the best character." He leaned down to peck Dane on the lips. "He kind of reminds me of someone I know."

"Oh does he?" Dane raised an eyebrow, smiling, happy that Alex hadn't questioned him further.

"Yep." Alex nodded, snapping another picture of Dane.

"I don't know," Dane smirked, leaning up from his bed to wrap his arms around Alex's middle. He kissed his cheek softly and nuzzled into his neck. "I liked Andy the best."

* * *

><p>"What's wrong with you?" Alice asked as she moved her hips in time with Damien's. His motions were robotic, and his eyes darted around the room as though counting down the minutes until the night would end. "It's like you're not even here."<p>

Damien tightened his grip on Alice's waist.

"I'm just not in the mood to dance, I guess." He looked at her with fragile eyes, as though he was about to break down at any moment. He watched the room around him twitch with strobe lights. The other teens were clasped against each other, laughing and grinning. Most of them were already drunk as hell, but Damien knew that Dane hated it when he drank.

Alice pulled him closer to her, kissing down his neck and biting down lightly.

"Are you in the mood for something else then?"

Alice pulled back, biting on her lip coyly and flicking her tongue over her teeth. Damien stood frozen, unable to react, as though he was a thirteen year old boy on his first date with a hooker. He pushed her back and stopped dancing, and then grabbed her hand.

"Come on, Alice, let's just go sit down, okay?"

Alice pulled him back.

"You've been so _weird_ lately." She scoffed, yelling over the music that bumped through the loft. "Dane is fine!"

Damien felt the blood rush to his cheeks, ready to explode, or faint. He couldn't exactly tell. Even though he was completely sober, in the party, he felt as though everything was spinning. He couldn't think straight.

"I thought you of all people would understand how I feel about Dane," he whispered calmly. Alice could hardly make out the words. It was true. Last year when Alice was in the hospital, Damien had worried for weeks what had happened to her even after he knew that she was alright.

A brief flash of emotion flashed over Alice's face and she crossed her arms self-consciously.

"Well right now it seems like you're more in love with _him_ than you are with your girlfriend."

That was the last straw for Damien, like a slap in the face. The music stopped around them and the DJ began talking as another top 40 hit busted through the speakers.

"What is your problem lately, Alice?" He moved toward her, prying her arms apart, and taking both of her hands in his, "There's no one else, okay?"

She frowned and pulled her hands away, as though they were those of a stranger, and not the boy who she had been dating forever.

"I don't believe you."

She spoke each word carefully, each one like a drop of venom from her mouth. Her eyes were on his, eyes that he had looked into so many times before. He hardly recognized them.

"Dammit Alice!" Damien yelled, running a hand through his hair and letting out a huge gust of air that had built up inside of him. "You know that I love _you_! You're the one thing that's always been the same for me, okay?"

"The only one when Lucie isn't around!" she yelled right back, with equal force. She threw her hands out in front of her spasmodically. Damien knew that this was the point she had been getting around to all night. He felt his chest constrict, remembering what his dads had said when they came for sectionals.

"Lucie and I are-" He paused, looking over to where Lucie was sitting with Alex on a couch across the room. She hadn't talked to him since the hospital. "-we're friends. Okay? That's all."

"You looked pretty friendly when I came to the hospital."

"I'm not having this conversation with you right now."

He crossed his arms over his chest, hoping that she would just drop the topic. But of course, Alice never just dropped something. She nagged until she got exactly the answers she wanted.

"Maybe we should take a break." Damien looked up, almost not expecting her to say anything for the next ten minutes and then yell at him for not begging for her forgiveness. He couldn't tell if this was better or worse.

"What?"

"I think we should take a break from each other." Alice's face held no sign of joking in the dimly lit room.

"Why?" It was all he knew how to say. For whatever reason, he felt as though he needed Alice. They had been together for so long. They had to make it work. She had always been there with him. He couldn't imagine not being with her. He didn't want anything else to change, because it seemed like the rest of his life had been turned upside down. He couldn't have her changing too.

"N-no. I don't want to." He shook his head, feeling his hands begin to shake, "I-I can change! We can work it out." Damien didn't even know what the words were that were coming out of his mouth anymore. All he knew was that she couldn't leave. For whatever crazy, unimaginable reason, he needed her.

Her face remained in the same emotionless state. He wanted her to do something, anything.

"It's just a break, Damien." She sounded bored, and his heart sunk even deeper than it already was, but he didn't argue. He stood there, unable to move.

"Okay." He nodded finally. "Okay. We'll take a break." He looked anywhere but at her before resting on her eyes again. "I love you." It was more of a question than a statement, and by the time it was uttered, Alice had already turned around to leave.

* * *

><p>"Well this is thrilling." Bryce shifted on the couch, taking a long swig of his coke. He swished the can around in his hand before sitting it back down on the glass table.<p>

"So fun," Alex replied in monotone, snapping a picture of the boy next to him and leaning back into the couch lazily. "Why did we have to come here again?" He turned to Lucie, whose idea coming to the New Years' party had been in the first place.

She sat up straighter in her seat and smiled at both of the boys next to her. She looked like an overly cheery elf in the mall on Christmas, that you could tell was counting down the minutes until her next lunch break.

"Come on guys!" She nudged Alex in the side, "We should try to have some fun!"

They both gave her a blank stare in return, and she slumped back into her seat, the smile instantly wiped off her face.

"Alright, fine, this sucks." She sighed, leaning on the edge of the couch and looking at the dance floor where she had been watching Damien and Alice dancing the whole night.

Bryce nodded and followed her gaze.

"You're making yourself miserable," he commented. Lucie frowned and played with the ends of her hair.

"I know."

"So stop it," He shrugged as though it was the easiest thing in the world. Alex fiddled with his camera, looking through all of the million photos he had taken during the night out of boredom.

Lucie stuck bit her lip.

"I'm trying," she admitted, just as the boy in question walked up.

"Hey guys," Damien said, sitting down on the couch opposite of the coffee table from them. He wore a smile similar to the one Lucie had on earlier, and was now wearing again.

"Hi Damien," Alex said, looking up from his camera briefly and smiling as best he could, before returning to the pictures. He picked his phone out of his pocket and unlocked it, checking for any messages from Dane. He knew that there would be none. He told Dane he was going to the party, and Dane didn't want to bother him.

He didn't know that by texting him, he would be doing the exact opposite.

"Having fun?" Damien asked in that same fake chipper voice. He leaned forward on the couch, clapping his hands together, looking at the three of them.

Bryce raised an eyebrow.

"Looks like you were having enough fun for the three of us put together." He commented in a bored tone, taking out his own phone and flipping through nonexistent messages.

Damien ignored him. The last thing he needed was another stress on his night.

"I was actually thinking about leaving," he said, rubbing his arm awkwardly. Lucie looked up from where she was still playing with her hair. "If you guys want me to drive you home I can."

Lucie pushed her lips together, debating whether or not to take the offer. Alex sighed in relief.

"Thank God. Could you?" he asked, smiling hopefully. Damien nodded.

"Yeah. I'm not really in the party mood." His tone held an emotion that none of them could place. Obviously something had happened.

"I'll come too," said Lucie carefully, as though tiptoeing into her parents' room at night when she had a bad dream. "I mean, if it's not a proble-"

"It's not." Damien cut her off quickly, running a hand behind his neck, "I mean, I just want to get out of here anyway."

He looked to Bryce.

"What about you? I'm pretty sure you're supposed to come home with me anyway."

Bryce looked up from his phone as though driving with Damien was a death sentence. He looked around him, at all the couples making out, and the crowded dance floor and then back at Damien and sighed.

"You're not drunk are you?"

"Of course not! What the hell is your problem?" Damien rolled his eyes, "Are you coming or not?"

"I just don't really trust you to drive me home." Bryce shrugged, stuffing his phone into his pocket. "You don't really have a clean record."

"You know what, Bryce?" Damien ground his teeth together. He was not in the mood for this tonight, of all nights. "That was three years ago. I've told you I was sorry a million times. I'm not 14 anymore, and I'm tired of you acting like I'm still this horrible person when everything I've done since then has been to try and make everyone else's life better."

Bryce narrowed his eyes, swallowing harshly before sitting up.

"If you made Dane's life so good then why did he try to kill himself?"

Damien opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He felt as though he had just been slapped in the face. He sucked in a deep gust of air, his jaw hanging limp.

"I-" He tried to speak, but could think of nothing to say. He already felt guilty about Dane's suicide attempt. He knew that it was his fault, but he hated hearing it coming from Bryce's mouth. "Whatever, Bryce. I'm sorry for what I did, but what happened to Dane wasn't anybody's fault."

Bryce shrugged, not wanting to get into a long discussion about all the reasons that Damien pissed him off.

"Whatever," Bryce waved his hand, "I'll come with you I guess."

Damien rolled his eyes, "Okay then let's go," He began weaving his way through the teenagers who were all grinding against each other, too drunk to notice anyone but themselves, or making out in the middle of the dance floor. Damien remembered when he would probably be one of those couples with Alice. She was always big on PDAs, but Damien never cared.

He hardly noticed where he was going, and that's when he bumped into one of said couples, practically having sex right in the middle of the crowd of people.

"Hey! Watch were you're going, buddy!" the boy growled, hands still all over whatever slut he had-

"Alice!" Damien stepped back in disbelief, feeling Lucie bump into him from behind. She stepped back, wide-eyed and looked down, separating herself from the scene entirely and pulling Bryce and Alex out of the crowd with her and to the door.

She caught Damien's eyes and motioned that they were leaving, and he nodded absentmindedly.

"What are you doing?"

Alice pressed closer to the boy that she had picked up on the dance floor and continued to dance, if you could call it dancing, with him.

"What do you mean, what am I doing?" she snapped. "We're on a break, remember?"

Damien grabbed for her arm, but the boy she was dancing with shoved him back.

"She's dancing with me." He narrowed his eyes, looking Damien up and down. "Now get lost."

Damien pushed back, taking hold of the guy's forearms. He hadn't been in a fight with anyone since he was 14, but he was so angry, he could hardly hold it back. He wanted to slam him into a wall and watch him beg for mercy. He didn't even remember a time when he was this angry.

"She's _my girlfriend, _asshole!"

"I'm not your girlfriend!" Alice pushed between the two, her small body not stopping either of them. She looked up at Damien, eyebrows turned down in frustration. "We're on a break, Damien! A _break_." She stressed the last word, flicking her tongue and then pushing her lips together.

Damien stopped struggling against the other boy, stumbling backward into the crowd.

"Just because we're on a break doesn't mean you should make out with another guy five seconds after you were dancing with me!"

His voice shook, though from rage or sadness, neither Alice nor Damien could fully tell. She stepped back from him, hands on her hips.

"Why does it matter what I do now?" She asked, "We weren't together and I wanted to actually have _fun_ for a change."

"I thought you loved me," he said, shaking his head. "I guess I was wrong about that too, huh?"

She opened her mouth to respond, but he was done listening.

"Don't bother. It's over."

And with that he pushed his way through the crowd until he found Bryce, Lucie, and Alex waiting for him near the exit.

"I'm sorry, Damien," Lucie sighed, looking up at him and patting his shoulder as comfortingly as she could. Damien didn't have the heart to push her away.

"Let's go," He said. "I just want to leave."

* * *

><p>"Hey…" Bryce leaned against the doorframe of Dane's room. "I want to talk to you."<p>

"Yeah, I need to talk to you too," Dane said, sitting up from where he'd been lying in his bed staring at the ceiling.

"I thought you weren't allowed to take naps," Bryce said.

"I'm not technically but I was really nauseous earlier," Dane explained, not getting out of bed.

"Can I come in?" Bryce asked, looking at Dane's roommate's bed.

"He's gone," Dane said. "Discharged, only I don't know why. He must be a good liar."

"You've been here awhile," Bryce said, sitting gingerly on the edge of Dane's bed.

"I noticed."

"Has Damien been here recently?" Bryce asked, wringing his hands.

"Not since before New Years'," Dane said, tracing a pattern in the comforter.

"Mm." Bryce nodded. "What did you have to talk to me about?"

"Just shit my therapist said I should discuss with you. I changed my mind though I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay." Bryce angled himself toward Dane and said, "So at the New Years' party…uh, Damien and I sort of had a bit of a…disagreement."

"Disagreement?" Dane raised an eyebrow. "About what?"

"Well what do you think?" Bryce snapped, and then quickly said, "Sorry. I mean. It was about you."

"Me?" Dane looked truly surprised that anyone would be talking about him.

"Of course about you. And…" Bryce looked uncomfortable and Dane braced himself for what was coming. "Anna."

"Please can we _please_ not," Dane practically begged in a low voice. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I just wanted to…I thought it would help if…"

"I've talked about it, okay? Every single day I keep having to _talk_ about it and I'm fucking sick of talking about it. I don't want to think about it at all and it doesn't help to talk about it." Dane ran a hand through his hair and looked at Bryce with distant eyes. "Please."

"No, I have to talk to you about it," Bryce said firmly. He knew this would help. It had to. And besides he had to do something to ease his own conscience. "Because it's really important."

"What is it?" Dane asked, resigned because he knew that Bryce would get what he wanted no matter what.

"I have to tell you that I forgive you."

"You forgive me?"

"For what happened. I don't think it's your fault. I don't blame you. What happened wasn't your fault."

"But…" Dane shook his head to clear it. "But you always blamed me! You always said it was my fault because I'm such a fuck-up!"

"Yeah well I changed my mind."

"You're just saying that. Someone must have told you to say that."

"Just because someone told me to say it doesn't mean I actually would say it," Bryce said, and it made sense.

"Well…how could you forgive me?" Dane asked. "How?"

"It's just not your fault. You made a bad decision in getting drunk but you didn't think you would. You just wanted to drink some shit and you didn't know that you'd get drunk with so little and then it spiraled from there but it isn't your fault, not at all. I mean it's the fault of the driver who hit her." His emotion spilled out with his words in this last sentence and Dane froze and just looked down at his hands in his lap. He leaned against the headboard as Bryce stared up at the ceiling, blinking rapidly to keep the tears in his eyes.

"I can't forgive myself," Dane said slowly after awhile. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize to _me_," Bryce said.

"I mean, you must've worked hard to forgive me."

"Well-"

"And your work is to waste because I'm still so screwed up in the head."

"Aren't they helping here?"

"A little."

"How?"

"I feel duller now. It's probably the meds. They make me nauseous and I still can't sleep and my head hurts all the time but they make me feel _duller_. Not really better but more like, nothing."

"Like nothing?"

"Yeah." Dane shrugged. "I guess it's better than being all over the place all the time."

"I read online that sometimes there's a greater risk of suicide…"

"Well I don't think that'll happen here," Dane said. "There's literally no way for me to cause myself any harm. Trust me."

"Do you think they'll let you out soon?"

"Probably in time to go back to school next week."

Bryce nodded slowly. "Well…" He stood up. "I have to go."

"Okay."

"I mi-I miss you," he said, clearing his throat and not looking back as he walked toward the door.

"I miss you too," Dane said as Bryce rounded the corner, and then he laid his head back on the headboard and closed his eyes.

**Please review!**


	25. Chapter 25: Anniversary

**AN: Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed thus far, and sorry for the long wait for the chapter. Midterms suck! We hope that you review and tell us what you think, because we really value your opinions. **

**Chapter 25: Anniversary **

"How do you feel?" Alex asked Dane when Dane stepped out of his dad's car in the parking lot on the first morning back at school after winter break.

"I feel," Dane said, waving to his Dad as he drove away, looking in the rearview mirror about thirty times before he made it out of the parking lot to make sure Dane hadn't pulled out a knife and stabbed himself, "like everyone is staring at me."

Alex looked around. No one was staring at Dane. There were a few girls hanging around in a big group but other than that, they were almost completely alone. Everyone was already in the school building.

"Nobody's looking at you," he said calmly, taking Dane's hand and reaching for his bookbag too so he could carry it for him.

"No," Dane exclaimed, jerking the bookbag away and slinging it over his shoulder. "Do you want everyone to think I'm too weak to carry my own bookbag?"

"Nobody's going to think that," Alex said softly, wrapping his arm around Dane's shoulders. "Really, Daners. Everyone's just glad you're alive."

Dane sighed. "Okay." They started walking toward the school building.

"So how was last night?" Alex asked.

"It was…uneventful," Dane replied, looking very uncomfortable about the prospect of being here at school.

"Uneventful how?" Alex asked, because Dane needed a great deal of prompting to say anything these days. Alex hadn't seen him since he'd visited in the hospital a little over a week before. They'd texted almost constantly, though.

"Like, after an awkward dinner we sat in the living room awkwardly and I tried to read but I couldn't concentrate, and when I told my dad that because he was like 'Dane why are you staring at the curtains instead of reading?' he wanted to know if my meds were working but dammit they take _time_ and he doesn't get that." Dane's hands were shaking.

"Are you nervous?" Alex asked him, looking down at him in concern.

"Yes," Dane replied simply.

"Don't be. Nobody's looking." Alex glared at the two people who actually were looking, and they looked away quickly.

"Don't do that," Dane said quickly, having noticed this.

"Sorry." Alex's cheeks colored slightly.

"I hate living there," Dane said lowly as they got closer to the building and people.

"They just want to keep you safe," Alex replied lamely.

"I know. But I hate it. Bryce got to come back and live here and I don't. You're here. Damien's here. Lucie's here. Everyone's here and I'm at home. Living one fucking hour away from everyone else. All because they think I need constant supervision like I'm going to just…" He made hand gestures that seemed to signal a very elaborate suicide scheme that Alex couldn't quite follow.

"Well," Alex said slowly and delicately, adjusting the strap of his bag on his shoulder, "you'll get better, and you can come back here, okay? You're already better than you were, right?"

"I'm better than I was when I was lying in the hospital half dead," Dane said darkly, and Alex wondered whose idea it even was to let him out of the mental hospital.

Alex didn't have a response to this, though he felt like he should. He just tightened his grip on Dane's shoulder and pulled the shorter boy closer to him protectively, like he could protect Dane from all the thoughts inside his head.

"At least you aren't on the ones that made you feel nothing," he said brightly. Dane just shrugged.

"It's almost our anniversary," Alex said, equally brightly, and Dane looked up at him.

"Almost."

* * *

><p>"Hey." Jane jogged up to Bryce in the hallway, a whirlwind of brunette curls, contents nearly spilling out of her opened messenger bag. She pushed the flap down and let out a large gust of air, as though she had just ran a mile. "You know, you walk very fast for such a short guy."<p>

Bryce scowled, unamused and turned to his locker, entering the combination distractedly.

"What do you want, Jane?"

Jane leaned up against the locker next to Bryce's, smirking as though she held all of the secrets in the world and was about to reveal each and every one for a price.

"I was just thinking that you could use some fun in your life."

Bryce eyed her carefully, as though trying to judge what was behind a door on a game show before the knob shocked his hand.

"And you would help with that how, exactly?" He pulled out his Algebra 2 book and held it under his shoulder, before slamming the locker shut and continuing to walk again. Jane followed behind, undeterred by his resistance.

"When I said I wanted to be you friend, I wasn't just shitting you," she said, keeping up with Bryce's quick pace, pulling her messenger bag up higher on her shoulder. "I actually wanted to be your friend."

Bryce swallowed, keeping his gaze even, not really knowing how to respond. He didn't have many friends, or any friends, for that matter. He looked over at Jane quickly, pushing his teeth together at the back of his mouth.

She was the only person who had ever actually put forth an _effort_ to want to hang out with him, but he didn't need people to pity him. He had enough of that for himself. He didn't need it from other people.

"Who said I wanted to be your friend?" Bryce asked bitingly, pursing his lips and trying to look as uninterested as possible. He knew that he was contradicting himself, but he didn't care. He hated having people act like he was some kind of social outcast that needed to be shown compassion.

He could have all the friends he wanted, if he wanted them. And he was perfectly happy being alone.

"You did." Jane rolled her eyes. "Unless that was Dr. Jekyll I talked to, because it definitely looked a lot like you."

"Ha. Ha. You're so funny." Bryce turned toward her, eyebrows raised, as though reading a Popsicle stick with a joke about the chicken crossing the road. He changed directions down the hallway, knowing that she would probably still follow him even if he ducked into the men's room.

"I know I am. And that's why you should come with me to get ice cream." Jane sped up so that she was walking in front of Bryce. He considered pushing her out of the way, but that was a bit rude, even by his usual standards.

"Um. No thanks." He tried to maneuver his way around her, but she changed direction with him, making him give up and stop entirely, not wanting to deal with the stares that they were getting from the other students.

"Alright. Fine. Just spend your afternoon studying your Algebra 2 and wishing you had ice cream with your wonderful friend Jane." She sighed dramatically, flipping her wrist to her forehead before moping away slowly in the opposite direction of the hallway, looking back at Bryce as she went. "I'm walking away now!" she called loudly, causing one of the teachers to give her a look.

Bryce felt his lips turn up in a smile, which he quickly corrected into a scowl.

"Alright! You do that!"

Jane walked backward slowly, bumping into a senior behind her, who rolled his eyes and walked away as fast as he could.

Bryce laughed out loud, nearly bumping into a senior himself. What was this girl on?

"For someone who's so keen on making friends, you sure do know how to piss a lot of people off." Bryce walked toward her, not really sure exactly what he was doing, but knowing that whatever Jane had to talk about was at least more interesting than an hour of studying that he didn't even need for math.

"Keen?" Jane giggled, as though she was a three year old that had heard someone curse. "Keen? Really? Are we in 1950s Oklahoma now?"

Bryce brushed past her, his cheeks flushing despite himself. He turned away so that she wouldn't notice.

"People say that!" he argued childishly, crossing his arms over his chest. "-If you don't like it I don't have to come with you."

Bryce held his breath. He hated giving into what people wanted him to do. It made him feel weak, like people could make him do whatever they wanted.

But he had nothing better to do, and he _was_ hungry. Having ice cream wouldn't be _so_ bad. And if he really hated it, he could always make some sort of excuse to leave.

"Oh. So now you're _keen_ on coming, huh?" Jane placed a hand on her hip, utterly amused. Bryce huffed something she couldn't make out under his breath, which she assumed was probably a string of curses. She laughed, enjoying the bright red color that covered Bryce's cheeks.

"If you keep doing that I'll change my mind." He spat, looking back at her, eyebrows narrowed.

Jane eyed him for a moment, as though judging whether he was being serious or kidding. She stood there looking at him, eyebrow raised, not buying the 'pissed off angsty teen' act.

"Come on," she said, as though calming a child that was throwing a tantrum. "Let's go, before you feel the need to use the word 'keen' again."

She bit her lip, trying to not to laugh again, as Bryce followed after her, thoroughly pissed off.

"I'm only coming for the ice cream, you know."

"Anything you say, Bryce."

* * *

><p>"So I have this theory," Bryce began, licking at his ice cream cone and looking around the sidewalk at the people passing by. "-that if you cut off all her hair, she'd look like a British man." He pointed with his cone to a women passing by who was jogging in a pair of basketball shorts and a gray sweatshirt.<p>

The sun was out today, a welcome change from the winter snow that had previously littered the ground. Bryce hated the snow.

Jane looked at the women and seemed to consider the idea for a moment, as though the theory was absolutely plausible. She looked at Bryce again and raised an eyebrow.

"Calling someone fat won't make you skinnier. Calling someone stupid won't make you smarter." She waved her cone at Bryce, as though scolding him, and then licked some of the mint chocolate chip that was running down the side of the cone.

Bryce's mouth dropped open slightly, surprised that someone had _actually_ caught on to his Mean Girls references. Usually he just dropped them into conversation and everyone just thought he was just making normal conversation.

"Boo you whore." His mouth settled into a smirk, taking a bit of his ice cream and wincing from the cold against his teeth.

Why were they eating ice cream in the winter again?

"Please stop talking." Jane waved a hand dismissively, mimicking Regina's voice. She caught Bryce's eye and burst into laughter.

"Why are you such a skeez?" Bryce asked easily, laughing now himself. He took another bite of his cone, not really noticing how cold it was anymore.

Jane thought for a moment and then scowled, acting pissed off.

"Your mom's chest hair!" She lowered her voice an octave nudging him in the side

"That's so not fetch." Bryce had a million Mean Girls quotes he could whip out. It _was_ his favorite movie. He had probably seen it at least 200 times, if not more. And he didn't even care that that made him too gay to function. Because he wasn't. Gay. "I want to lose three pounds," he said, eyeing his ice cream cone, and sending an amused glance at Jane. "Is butter a carb?"

"I don't hate you because you're fat," she replied, as though letting him down easy, "You're fat because I hate you."

Bryce scoffed, pretending to be offended and then started laughing, not able to contain it anymore.

"Someone's a Mean Girls fan," Jane commented, sitting down on a park bench along the way and motioning for Bryce to sit next to her.

"No," He rolled his eyes, "I'm just very concerned about my weight." He licked his ice cream cone uninterestedly, looking forward and stealing a glance at her next to him on the bench. "It's the best movie ever created, duh."

"It's definitely not the best movie ever created, but it's up there," she said, as though just wanting to start an argument.

"Oh yeah? Then what is the best movie ever created?"

She paused, thinking for a second. She opened her mouth to speak, but Bryce interrupted her.

"See? You can't even think of one!" He leaned back on the bench, biting into the cone part of his ice cream.

"Actually, I was going to say that the best movie ever is definitely The Princess Bride."

"That movie is such a chick flick."

"I _am_ a chick. …and Mean girls _isn't_?"

"Obviously." He scoffed, taking another bite of his cone and looking out at the people walking by. "So not fetch."

"You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means." Jane licked around her ice cream cone, looking superior.

They sat in silence for a few moments, finishing their cones and then Bryce sat up from the bench, throwing the paper part to his ice cream away in the trash can next to the bench.

"Oh no, I can't say anything else until I have a parent or lawyer present."

Jane stood up as well, following Bryce's lead and throwing out her cone holder.

"Inconceivable!" she said, throwing it into the can with a swish.

Bryce shoved his hands in his pockets, lips pursed.

"I'm sorry you're so jealous of me, but I can't help it if I'm popular."

She laughed, walking again down the sidewalk. Bryce was unsure what to say at this point. Having ice cream with her wasn't actually _that_ bad. It wasn't bad at all. It was actually sort of fun. Only sort of, though.

Jane checked her phone briefly. It was 3:15. They had been hanging out for over a half hour.

"As riveting as this conversation is, I've got to go," she said, motioning toward Royal house, which was up ahead.

Bryce shrugged, trying to seem as indifferent as possible.

"Okay."

"I guess I'll see you around?" she asked, one foot already headed in the opposite direction.

"It's not that big of a school."

Jane rolled her eyes, heading off in the other direction.

"Goodbye, Bryce."

"See ya," he said, watching her leave. It was only after she was gone that he realized what he had said and he shook his head.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad having a friend. Maybe.

* * *

><p>"The Warbler meeting is now starting!" called Harvey over the loud group of students.<p>

Dane slide into his seat next to Alex in Warbler Hall. Alex took his hand, knowing that Dane hated being around groups of people now that he was back. He felt like they were all staring at him.

Damien glanced across the room at Alice, who made it a point to sit as far away from him as possible. He set his jaw, still feeling all of the anger and hurt he had felt on New Years.

Lucie sat down next to Jane on the opposite side of Alex, feeling a little awkward with Damien sitting so close to her. She followed his gaze to Alice and frowned, feeling useless. Jane put her feet up on the chair in front of her, looking particularly uninterested in whatever Harvey was rambling on about, whispering things to Maddie whenever he wasn't looking in her direction.

Bryce watched Lucie and scowled. Why was she always so concerned about Damien? He had it coming to him dating a slut like Alice. And he chose _her_ over Lucie anyway. Why would Lucie _still_ have a thing for him even after he did that to her?

"I have an assignment that I think will help us to get ready for Regionals this year," Harvey continued, finally arriving to the point after a few minutes of random ramblings. "We didn't make it to Nationals last year, and I think that's because we didn't work as a _team_." He stressed the last syllable.

Bryce rolled his eyes, still watching Lucie, who nodded, agreeing with Harvey. She was cute when she was so focused.

"So I'm giving an assignment for next week." He sighed finally, eyeing the students carefully.

"You will each prepare either a solo or duet number to a Disney song of your choice," he continued. The students began to murmur amongst themselves, excited.

Dane looked toward Alex, in the way that little kids do when the teacher announces they have to choose partners in first grade. Alex nodded, taking Dane's hand.

He was so worried about him. He knew that Dane felt like everyone was staring at him, and he wished that he knew some way to ease his fears.

Bryce looked around, cursing under his breath. Lucie was probably going to sing with _Damien_ again and he'd end up doing it alone.

What was he even going to sing? This assignment was so stupid.

He crossed his arms over his chest, looking at everyone else making silent plans to sing with their friends.

"You will all perform at the end of the week, and the best pair or solo performances will be the leads for Regionals." Harvey's eyes glinted, knowing that the thrill of competition would make the students work harder. "Goodluck. You may start picking your partners now."

Lucie bit her lip, looking at Damien. She wanted to work with him, but he was still hurting because of Alice, and she didn't want him to get the wrong idea. She was his _friend_. And whenever they sang together Alice got even more angry at her than she was before.

Maybe she should just work alone.

Damien wrung his hands. He would usually just sing with Alice. But he couldn't. And he couldn't sing with Lucie. He didn't want to lead her on. He remembered what his dads said at sectionals. The last thing he needed was to complicate his life any more than it already was.

Dane was singing with Alex, so he couldn't sing with him either, and he _definitely_ wasn't going to sing with _Bryce_. He leaned back in his chair. Alone it was.

"Working alone?" Jane asked, looking over at Bryce and taking her feet down from where she had been resting them on the chair in front of her. She had actually had fun hanging out with Bryce yesterday, and she didn't have any friends in Warblers that weren't already working with somebody else. Maddie was working with Ryan, of course, because they were practically attached at the hip.

Bryce nodded, inwardly pissed off that she had called attention to his lack of friends, again.

"Not because I couldn't get a partner if I wanted to," he snapped, feeling pathetic. It wasn't his fault that everyone in the Warblers was a stuck up asshole. He hated this school. Everyone thought they were hot shit when they were really just a bunch of douchebags with trust funds.

"Well I don't have one either," Jane said carefully, knowing that working alone was probably a sore subject. "But if you wanted we could work together. Since we're such good _friends_." She said the last part sarcastically, but in reality, Bryce wasn't a bad guy and he was fun to talk to. And maybe if she worked with him, he would stop feeling so sorry for himself.

Bryce gave her a look to say, 'really?' eyebrow quirked, but he considered the idea. He wanted a partner, and Lucie wasn't available. Maybe she would even be jealous. Not that she wanted him at all, but maybe seeing him sing with someone else would open up her mind to the possibilities.

And he _did_ have fun with Jane. She was actually _interesting_ to talk to, unlike most people at this school.

"Oh yeah, right." He rolled his eyes, flicking his tongue to the roof of his mouth. "But yeah, we should work together."

"But, I'm warning you, if you suck you're on your own." She pursed her lips, jokingly examining him. "I have standards."

"I'll try not to disappoint."

* * *

><p>Dane knocked on Alex's door, sighing. The car ride there had been excruciating. His father had told him that he would come pick him up again at ten, and it had taken hours of convincing for Dane to even be allowed to come for Alex's surprise. It was their anniversary, and the day before Alex had said that he had a surprise for Dane for their anniversary and Dane should ask if he could come over for a few hours. It had taken an obnoxiously long amount of time to convince his dad, who actually requested a <em>phone call<em> from Alex that they would in fact be together the whole entire time, and he wouldn't let Dane out of his sight.

Dane shivered, the cold January air still making him cold now that he was inside Alex's dorm.

He wished he'd gotten Alex's anniversary gift, but he was going to get it the next weekend because he'd obviously been in the hospital the weekend before and couldn't go.

Meanwhile, inside his room, Alex took a deep breath, making sure that the flowers he had set up in the middle of the table that had been placed in the center of the room were perfectly symmetrical. He ran a hand over the table cloth, and pushed in one of the chairs.

Everything had to be perfect.

Christmas lights were strung from the ceiling, thanks to the help of Ryan and Maddie earlier in the day, and the lights were turned down so that the table was illuminated by two small candles that sat on either side of the flowers.

It was exactly a year ago today that Alex had transferred to Dalton, and he and Dane had officially gotten back together. He wanted to make sure that Dane knew just how much he meant to him. He would do anything to help Dane feel better right now.

When he was sure that everything was perfect, he ran a hand through his hair and examined his work one last time before hurrying to the door, opening it in a flourish.

"Hey." He smiled, biting his bottom lip and waiting to see Dane's reaction.

"Hi, I-" Dane started but then saw past his boyfriend to the room, which was decorated with lights, and there was a table in the middle with flowers and candles and…

_Holy shit,_ he thought, _he set up a 'romantic dinner' for me?_

Then the other half of his mind said, _Duh, idiot, of course he did, it's your anniversary._

"Holy shit," he whispered slowly, reaching out to wrap Alex into a hug. "Is this for me?"

Alex kissed Dane's forehead softly and then laughed.

"No, it's for my other boyfriend," he deadpanned, reaching over to the bed to retrieve his camera. He snapped a picture of Dane and slung it around his neck. "You actually weren't supposed to find out about this."

Dane walked into the room, shutting the door behind him. "Wow," he said slowly, turning and looking at how Alex had even cleaned up all the dirty clothes and books and homework that had littered the floor the last time he'd seen the room. "You're amazing, you know that?" Alex pulled out a chair for Dane, motioning for him to sit down.

"I know," he leaned down to kiss his cheek and sat in the chair opposite of him. "Maddie and Ryan helped me set it up all day today."

Dane was staring around incredulously. "Holy shit," he said again because this was what he always said when he didn't know what to say. "It's so…wow." He was grinning and felt so light and happy all of a sudden. "Did you make dinner too?"

Alex grinned at seeing Dane's face light up. He felt his insides twist in a familiarly pleasant way. He reached for his camera, snapping a picture of Dane again, one of the hundreds that he would likely take before the night was over.

"Well-" He laughed, "Lucie helped me a lot with the food. I can't cook to save my life so…" He stood up from his chair and carefully lifted a plate of pasta and sat it down in front of Dane.

"-pasta was my safest bet. And for dessert there's creme brulee, of course."

Dane laughed and looked down at the pasta. "Awesome! I'm sure it's delicious. I love pasta." He picked up his fork and just poked at it, not wanting to eat it yet, instead wanting it to last forever.

"Who the hell gave you the right to be such a perfect boyfriend?" he asked Alex.

Alex lifted his fork and twirled the pasta over it, watching Dane as though he was the only thing that mattered in the world.

"I think you're getting me confused with you, Daners." He shoved the forkful of pasta in his mouth and chewed slowly, wondering how it was possible to feel so happy with one person.

Sometimes he couldn't believe that they had been dating a year already. It seemed like time had passed so fast, like there was never enough time together. He thought about all the times they'd had together, laughing and joking around, dancing around to stupid songs, watching movies, going to dinner…

"I don't think so," Dane said simply. "I mean you're the one who did _this_ for me." He motioned around to the room.

Alex shrugged, snapping another picture.

"You've done so many things for me." He reached across the table to take Dane's hand, running his thumb along the smooth skin. "And I just wanted to show you how much you mean to me." He looked up, catching Dane's eyes in his own and smiling softly.

"I see," Dane said, looking around at the lights and everything. "Apparently I mean a bunch of Christmas lights and candles to you."

Alex just looked at Dane. "No, you mean a lot more than that."

It was amazing how much better Dane usually made him feel about himself and Alex wished he could make Dane feel better about _him_self. Before Dane, Alex thought he would never have anyone who loved him completely for who he was. He was awkward, and obnoxious, and sarcastic, but for some crazy reason, Dane loved him anyway.

"I got you something," Alex said. "But you can't have it until the end of the night, okay?"

He fidgeted nervously in his seat, hoping that Dane didn't notice.

"I have to get yours this weekend," Dane said apologetically. "I'm sure your present will be amazing. I look at the scrapbook you made me all the time. Probably like twice a day, maybe more."

"I hope you like it," Alex mumbled slightly, under his breath, "I'm excited to see what yours is too though!" He leaned forward, interested. "Is it another story?" he asked, hopefully. "I love it when you write me stories."

Dane shook his head, smiling. "Nope, it's not a story. It's way better than that." He hoped Alex would like it…

"I'm positive that I'll love yours," Dane said, taking a long drink of soda.

"I hope!" Alex tried to sound cheerful, but inside he was freaking out. He was taking a huge risk in giving Dane what he was going to give him, and he couldn't be sure how Dane would react. Alex hoped he wouldn't be _upset_, though. But the various scenarios of Dane's reaction to his gift kept flashing through his mind.

"Better than a story, huh?" he asked to take his mind off of his nerves, raising an eyebrow and twirling a string of spaghetti onto his fork.

"I think so," Dane said, noting how agitated Alex looked. "Are you alright? You look really worried…"

Alex sighed. This was exactly what he was trying to avoid. Of course he was nervous about his gift for Dane, but since Dane had no clue what it could possibly be, he couldn't explain away his anxiety.

"I'm just nervous to give you your gift is all," Alex admitted, swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat. "It's not a bad thing! I just don't know if you'll like it or not."

Dane studied his boyfriend. "I'm sure I'll like it. I loved the presents you gave me for Christmas and my birthday, and I'm sure this one will be just as amazing. Don't be nervous. You're perfect with gifts."

Alex took a long gulp of his coke and smiled sheepishly at Dane.

"Well this is a different type of gift," he stated simply, not wanting to give away what it was, "It's kind of bold I guess."

Dane blinked and made a conscious effort not to assume it was sex but…

It was different, it was bold, it was their anniversary, there were candles and lights…

"Uh," he coughed and then said, "well I look forward to getting it…"

Alex stirred his pasta, staring over on the nightstand where he had hidden Dane's gift.

"I look forward to giving it to you…"

Dane's cheeks flushed and his heart fluttered as Alex looked over at the bed. "Well." He cleared his throat. "Uh. Cool." He sniffed (was he getting a cold? maybe he and Alex shouldn't have sex. If he was getting a cold, he didn't want to get Alex sick… But then again Alex wouldn't care and it had over a year since Dane had had sex.) and looked around the room. "It looks so nice in here though! You worked really hard on it…"

Alex took another picture, scanning his hard work over and smiling.

"I wanted it to be perfect," he said, running a hand through his hair and leaning back in his chair so that the legs in the front were up in the air. "And this place was a mess before I cleaned it up. I know you hate messes."

He smirked, amused at his boyfriend as he finished up his food and reached for a napkin that sat on the table to wipe his mouth.

"I wouldn't have cared if there was shit everywhere," Dane said, setting down his napkin and clasping his hands together in front of him. "So. This gift."

Alex nodded and lifted himself up from the chair, nearly knocking it over in his nervousness. He laughed awkwardly and steadied the chair, smiling sheepishly at Dane.

_Way to go Alex, you haven't even given him the gift and you're messing things up_.

He made his way over to the nightstand and pulled open one of the doors, retrieving a small black box from it. Dane followed him and when he saw the black box he wasn't entirely sure _what_ to think.

Alex turned and stood in front of him.

_Holy shit is that a ring box? Is he proposing? He is_ not_ fucking proposing on our first anniversary, no way, Alex is not proposing to me, he can't be proposing!_

Dane tried to keep the horror off of his face but he failed.

Alex shook his head quickly.

"I'm not proposing!" he blurted out, laughing nervously and bringing a hand up in caution. "I swear. Just…let me talk, alright?"

"Okay," Dane whispered, and if Alex wasn't proposing then what was he doing? Standing there with a ring box?

Maybe there was a condom inside or something?

But that would be weird.

"Um," Alex rubbed the back of his neck, unsure of how to continue. He knew that Dane was going to freak out, but he hoped that he didn't think what he was doing was stupid or anything like that.

"I love you," he said, looking up at Dane and taking his hand. "I love you so much. And you're not just my boyfriend, you're the best friend I could ever ask for. You always love me and accept me for who I am, and I'm so grateful for that. We can do anything together! I mean, we can just sit around and say nothing and just _be_ together and it's not even boring at all! And we do all this crazy stuff together like play hide and go seek in Target and dance around to music in my room, and watch scary movies together in the dark and then stay up all night talking to each other on the phone because we're so scared."

Alex paused and laughed, suddenly feeling more confident.

"You're just so perfect, Daners. I know you don't believe that, but you are. You're funny and you're smart, and handsome, and just everything about _you_ makes my heart jump around in my chest." He blushed, looking down.

"I know that's the cheesiest thing in the world, but it's so true. I always thought stupid clichés like _fireworks_ and things like that were made up, but being with you I know that all of that is _real_. And I just want to spend the rest of my life making you feel just as special as you make me feel."

He flipped open the ring box, running his finger over the thin silver band. Dane wondered what on earth Alex was doing giving him a ring if he wasn't proposing.

"And I know we're young, and I know you probably think I'm crazy, but I _know_ that you're the person I'm meant to be with. You're my soul mate. I honestly believe that you are. And call me insane, but I just want to spend the rest of my life with _you_."

Alex took a deep breath. Here was the big moment.

"So, I got you this promise ring…to show how much I love you and how much you mean to me, and I hope that you'll wear it and that whatever happens, we'll stay together."

Dane felt like he couldn't breathe. Silence suddenly made him claustrophobic but he didn't know what to say. What _could_ he say?

He loved Alex too and he knew that they were soulmates too. Alex was his best friend and his favorite person and he hoped they would get married. Of course he would wear the ring and of course he wanted to stay with Alex forever. The person who'd saved his life, who made him happier, who helped him live when it was the hardest thing to do.

But how could he say that, how could he possibly tell Alex just how much he meant to him and how much he hoped they _would_ stay together?

And then here Alex was saying that _he_ hoped they would stay together, and saying how perfect Dane was, and it felt like a dream, a really, really good dream.

_Say something you idiot._

"Yeah," Dane said. "Of course I'll wear it." He felt like this didn't do it justice at all, but it was the best he could offer. Words escaped him so he just grinned at Alex.

Alex's heart sped up in his chest and his head spun, feeling as though this wasn't happening at all. His face lit up the second the words were uttered from Dane's mouth.

He was actually saying yes. He wanted to wear his promise ring. He wanted to stay together with him. He felt the same way.

A million thoughts floated through Alex's mind as he slipped the ring onto Dane's finger and kissed it softly. He reached for his camera with shaking hands and took a picture, wanting to remember this particular moment forever.

"R-really?" He asked, still not believing that this was all _real_. "You will?"

"I will!" Dane held up his finger with the ring and examined it. "It's perfect!" He looked up at Alex sheepishly. "You're perfect too, you know that?" He wrapped his arms around Alex and pulled him close. He whispered in his ear, "I love you, Andy."

Alex clutched at Dane's t-shirt, pulling him closer and kissing his cheek slowly and softly.

"I love you too, Dane," he whispered in his ear, closing his eyes and wanting to freeze the moment forever, because things were just too _perfect_.

"I love you more," Dane said, and he leaned up on his tiptoes and kissed Alex sweetly and softly.

The ring was better than sex, definitely. They could have sex any time, it didn't have to be now, and it wouldn't be nearly as perfect as the ring was, anyway. Sex wasn't a promise to stay together. It was good but it was different, not as sweet and meaningful.

Dane thought about the times when he was alone (which he never was anymore) (but surely it would happen again sometime) and he felt that urge… Maybe he could look at the ring. And it would help him remember that Alex loved him no matter what. And wanted to stay with him forever. And it would remind Dane that he had to stay alive so that he could be there with Alex forever. The therapists and meds had helped a little with that. He didn't necessarily want to take his own life anymore. And they'd let him out because he _had_ shown improvement from the half-dead, catatonic boy who showed up at the mental hospital one night a few weeks before.

_Don't think about all that shit,_ Dane told himself angrily. _Think about Alex._

Alex hummed contentedly, wrapping one arm tight around Dane's waist and bringing the other to run through his hair. It was so familiar to him now, every curve of Dane's face, every movement of his body.

But it wasn't a bad familiar, it was as though he couldn't get close enough to him. He liked the way they fit together.

Dane sighed happily and tangled his fingers in Alex's curly hair, then interlocked his fingers behind Alex's head, relishing the feel of the new ring on his finger.

He leaned into Alex, as close as he could be, leaning all of his weight on Alex, who stumbled backward under Dane's weight, losing his balance and falling onto the bed. Alex gasped, pulling back from the embrace to look Dane in the eye. After a moment, he laughed and pulled the shorter boy back to him, not wanting the feeling to go away.

Dane laughed too, and wrapped his arms around Alex lying beneath him on the bed. "You are so perfect, dude," he said, and then kissed him some more.

Alex rolled them over, deepening the kiss hesitantly and running a hand up Dane's chest, and up his neck, to graze his jaw-line.

Dane's heart fluttered and he followed Alex's lead; of course this wasn't the first time they'd made out, not even the first time they'd made out on a bed, but this felt different…

Alex pulled back from the kiss breathlessly, looking down at Dane for a moment. His eyes fluttered open, his brown ones burning into Alex's gray, so full of utter devotion and love that Alex wished he hadn't disregarded his camera on the night stand.

He kissed him chastely on the lips, before planting a series of soft kisses along his jawline and neck, working his way down to the buttons on his shirt.

His fingers rested hesitantly on the first button, asking Dane's permission. They had seen each other shirtless before plenty of times, even made out plenty of times that way, but he was still always hesitant to take that step.

Dane nodded quickly and smiled as Alex undid the first button of his shirt. He knew that they'd made out shirtless on multiple occasions but this might be different. He hoped it would be…

One of the side effects for antidepressants was a decrease in sexual interest and Dane didn't think this was a side effect that had affected him at all.

Alex unbuttoned his shirt carefully, pulling it off of Dane and disregarding it on the floor. He continued to plant kisses down his chest, running a thumb along Dane's hip.

Dane reached down and tugged at the ends of Alex's t-shirt, pulling it up as far as he could considering the fact that Alex was preoccupied with kissing his chest.

Alex lifted his shirt over his head and threw it onto the floor, before kissing Dane again, letting his eyes fall shut and his hands roam over his exposed chest.

Dane ran his hands down Alex's exposed back, slowly, asking permission, not wanting to do anything that Alex didn't want him to do. Maybe Alex just wanted to make out like before…

But he was being different. This wasn't just making out.

"Dane," Alex gasped as Dane's fingertips tickled his back, sending a thrill up his spine and increasing his heart rate.

"Are you ready?" Dane asked quietly, pausing with his hands on Alex's lower back.

Alex nodded, kissing Dane softly and pulling him closer to him. He leaned down to kiss his cheek before whispering in his ear.

"I love you."

"I love you too," Dane said quickly, trying to keep his tongue from tripping over the words as they fell out of his mouth. "I have - I have the shit, that we need, it's in my bag." He ran a hand through his hair and laughed quickly. He leaned up to peck Alex on the lip and then gently pushed on Alex's chest. He rolled out from under him and went over to his bag to get the lube and condoms he kept there just in case. He tried to keep his fingers still as he unzippered the bag and rooted through it to find what he was looking for.

Alex bit his lip, waiting for Dane to return back to the bed. He felt his cheeks flare as he realized what they were about to do, and suddenly he felt the nervous butterflies return to his stomach again for the second time that night.

"Okay." Dane returned to the bed and dropped the things on the nightstand. He climbed back on the bed on top of Alex and unbuttoned Alex's pants, looking in Alex's eyes as he did so. He could tell that Alex was nervous. "You sure you're ready?"

Alex pulled Dane down to kiss him chastely and then stared up at him with wide innocent eyes.

"I'm sure," He spoke carefully, keeping his voice even. "I've never been more sure of anything, I…want you." He whispered the last part, cheeks flaring.

Dane nodded. "Okay." He paused and then repeated it. "Okay."

* * *

><p>The alarm on Dane's phone went off and Dane opened his eyes lazily. It was dark in the room but for the lights still strung up. The candles had gone out. He wasn't quite sure where he was for a moment, and he felt very tired, and then he remembered, all at once. The dinner, the sex, the ring…<p>

He sat up quickly. He held up his hand to make sure it was real and saw the glint of the silver. He sighed contentedly and laid back on the bed. He felt good, better than he had in so long. He couldn't remember _ever_ feeling this good.

And it wasn't even because they'd had sex together. That was nice but it wasn't what was making him so happy. He looked over at Alex's sleeping form, wrapped up in the sheets and breathing deeply.

It was him. And the idea that he didn't care that Dane had to be shut up in a mental hospital for all of Christmas break. And he tried to off himself. And he'd kept secrets from Alex. And he was basically under house arrest so he wouldn't do anything to harm himself or worse.

Apparently none of that mattered to Alex. Alex saw him as, for some reason, the guy who made up weird stories, and made stupid jokes, and loved to watch zombie movies, and loved to dance around his room like a crazy person.

And the idea that Alex would want to spend the rest of his life with someone so…scarred…made a good feeling spread through Dane that nothing else could match.

It was an added bonus that Alex himself was such a perfect person.

Dane had to get up and put on his clothes and go outside to meet his dad, but for a moment he just laid there looking at his boyfriend as he slept.

* * *

><p>Alex sat up and rubbed his eyes blearily. It was morning, very early, and light slanted through the window in a way that told him it must be before his normal waking time of 11 on weekends.<p>

He looked around, a little confused, and when he saw that he was completely naked he remembered why and fell back onto the pillows, grinning at the ceiling.

And then he realized that he was _alone_ and he sat up again, panicked. Where was Dane?

Then he saw a handwritten note on torn-out notebook paper on the bed next to him. He picked it up and read, 'Andy – You look so peaceful and perfect and I didn't want to wake you up. Sorry if you wanted me to. I think I tired you out. ;) I love you so much. It was perfect. Totally perfect. I have to go but text me when you wake up. I want to see you this weekend. I love you. Love, Dane. P.S. I said I love you a lot but I do. I really love you a lot. Thank you.'

Alex read the note multiple times and then smiled to himself. He held it to his chest and thought about how last night really was totally perfect. The whole thing. And Dane had looked so happy to get the ring. He hadn't freaked out at all like Alex had feared he would.

And the sex… The people who said that you should wait until you fall in love because it will mean more were completely right.


	26. Chapter 26: Disney

Chapter 26

**Author's note: Hey everyone! This chapter is DISNEY SONGS! So we hope you enjoy, and we've provided links where you can watch the video of each song from the movie, because some of the characters act out what happened in the movie:**

**(since we can't put in the full links, just type in www dot youtube dot com slash and then the link we give you)**

**I'll Make a Man Out of You – Mulan: watch?v=vTqIsB98a1E**

**Friend Like Me – Aladdin: watch?v=99Op1TaXmCw**

**Go the Distance – Hercules (not the full scene because it's cut in half in the movie by the Zeus thing so we've just put in here what Damien will sing): watch?v=k59GT0eMl-E**

**I Won't Say I'm In Love – Hercules: watch?v=I_bEWXs_FX4**

**Cruella De Vil – 101 Dalmations: watch?v=pgq1W-zQ6FI**

**Helen wrote the beginning parts of choosing the songs, then Helen wrote I'll Make a Man Out of You and Go the Distance, and Caitlin wrote Friend Like Me, I Won't Say I'm in Love, and Cruella de Vil.**

* * *

><p>"How about," Bryce said slowly, leaning on the cafeteria table with his elbows on the table, his chin in his hands, "we do Aladdin?"<p>

"You want to do A Whole New World, don't you?" Jane raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, right."

"No, I was actually thinking of the song the genie sings to Aladdin. Friend Like Me." He paused and nudged her in the side. "Do you _want_ to sing A Whole New World?"

"With you?" Jane rolled her eyes. "No. Please. Let's just do Friend Like Me."

"Okay." Bryce acted all wounded. "_Be_ that way."

"It's your song choice, idiot."

"I'm _kidding_, dumbass."

"Ooh, dumbass to idiot. Harsh."

"I get that a lot."

* * *

><p>"A Whole New World," Alex said, lying across Dane's bed on his stomach.<p>

"No," Dane replied, leaning against the bed from where he sat on the floor with his math textbook and notebook laid out in front of him.

"Why not?"

"Too feelings-y."

"Too _feelings-y_?"

"Yes. Too sappy. Let's do something interesting."

Alex rolled his eyes but said, "Well pick a movie. Random movie."

"Beauty and the Beast."

"Tale as old as time, song as old as-"

"Nevermind."

"Why don't you want to do something romantic?"

"I just don't, not in front of everybody!"

Alex sat up so he was resting on his forearms. "Okay. Pick a different movie."

"…Hercules."

"At least, out loud, I won't say I'm-"

"Wait, Damien's doing Hercules."

"Okay, what else?"

"OH!" Dane shot forward and turned so he was facing Alex. "What about I'll Make A Man Out of You?"

Alex raised an eyebrow.

"Think about it! It would be so much fun! We could act it out and everything!"

Alex thought about it and a grin spread slowly across his face. "Yeah! You could be Mulan and-"

Dane gave him a look. "We'd switch off, hon."

Alex rolled his eyes. "You'd be Mulan for _part_ of the time."

"Right."

* * *

><p>"I'm doing Go the Distance," Damien said at lunch, and everyone around the table (Lucie, Alex, Dane, Jane, Bryce) nodded.<p>

The conversation continued on about what everyone's song choice was, but when it came to Lucie, she just said, "Oh I haven't really decided yet."

But she had.

She was going to do I Won't Say I'm in Love. Also. From. Hercules.

…crap.

That was like Meg, AKA _Lucie_, singing about Hercules, AKA _Damien_.

What would people think of that? What would Damien think of that?

What did _she_ think of that?

* * *

><p>Alex stood in front of the Warblers all in their seats. He made quick eye contact with Dane, before looking away. He began to pace up and down in front of everyone. "You will assemble swiftly and silently every morning," he said with authority, shedding his blazer and placing it on the edge of the piano. He mimed picking up a bow and sling of arrows and continued pacing. "Anyone who acts otherwise," he said, as he walked past Dane, "will answer to me."<p>

"Ooh," Dane said loudly, "tough guy."

Alex turned and pretended to put the arrow on the bow and pull it taut. "Dane," he said. Dane jumped up, looking scared. Alex aimed his 'arrow' at Dane for a moment and then up to the top of the board behind them where "DUETS" was written in marker. He pretended to shoot the arrow. "Thank you for volunteering," he said. "Retrieve the arrow."

Dane cracked his knuckles. "I'll get that arrow, _pretty boy,_" he sneered at Alex, "and I'll do it with my shirt _on_."

He walked over to the board and looked up at it.

"One moment," Alex interrupted in an obnoxious, I'm-Better-Than-You voice. "You seem to be missing something." He motioned for Damien, who was holding a shoe box. He pulled out two shoelaces that were tied in loops, which had cut-out golden construction paper circles hanging off them. They had the words DISCIPLINE and STRENGTH written on them in black marker. He took hold of one of Dane's arms and pulled it upward. Dane looked at him with raised eyebrows, looking annoyed. "This represents discipline." He put the loop around Dane's arm and Dane pretended it was a weight pulling him down. "And this," he put the other on Dane's other arm, "represents strength." Dane fell to the ground and the Warblers laughed.

This was perfect, because in the movie the assembled group laughed too. Alex turned to them and said seriously, "You need both to reach the arrow."

Then he stepped aside and Dane jumped pathetically but let his hands drag down the board as he fell toward the ground. Once he was on the ground, Alex stepped in front of him and the music started.

"We've got a long way to go," Alex said, rubbing his neck. Then Dane scrambled up and pretended to be in line. Alex took two long sticks. He threw one to Dane, which Dane caught easily.

"Let's get down to business," Alex sang, twirling the stick like Dane had taught him, "to defeat the Huns."

_Did the send me daughters when I asked for sons?_

Dane pretended to be knocking everyone over with his stick, just like Mulan had in the movie.

_You're the saddest bunch I ever met, _

_But you can bet before we're through,_

Alex threw his stick to the ground and ducked as Dane wildly flung his own stick about.

_Mister I'll make a man out of you._

He grabbed the stick from Dane, and Dane cowered. Alex grabbed the front of his blazer and pulled him forward as he sang these last words.

And then Dane ripped off his own blazer and tossed it onto the piano and they jumped around to switch places. Dane took the stick and then, assuming the role of Shang, sang,

_Tranquil as a forest,_

_But a fire within…_

Dane looked suspiciously at Alex, who had 'perfectly put his arrow on his bow with the help of his small dragon friend' who gave him a cheeky smile.

_Once you find your center,_

_You are sure to win._

Alex pretended to be throwing things at Dane, who pretended to be balancing on a cliff with a bucket on his head.

Then Alex pretended to be the one standing on the cliff with the bucket, and Dane pretended to throw things at him, and Alex mimed the bucket slipping onto his head and soaking him. He lifted it sheepishly and Dane glared at him.

_You're a spineless, pale, pathetic lot,_

_And you haven't got a clue._

_Somehow I'll make a man out of you._

Diverging from the way it was done in the movie, Dane went up to Alex and peered at him closely while Alex stood there looking embarrassed. Dane slowly circled Alex, and when he got back to the front, Alex crossed his hands over his chest where his 'boobs' were.

Then they jumped around so they were both standing next to each other facing the other Warblers, who were all smiling, and they took turns singing every other line, Alex starting with:

_I'm never gonna catch my breath._

_Say goodbye to those who knew me._

_Boy was I a fool in school for cutting gym._

_This guy's got 'em scared to death_

And then Alex sang in a falsetto as Mulan: _Hope he doesn't see right through me._ with a sideways glance at Dane.

_Now I really wish that I knew how to swim!_

And then they took each other's hands and faced each other and Alex sang,

_You must be swift as the coursing river_

With Dane in the background doing the _(Be a man)_

_With all the force of a great typhoon (Be a man)_

_With all the strength of a raging fire_

And they joined together to sing, _Mysterious as the dark side of the moon_

They turned to face the audience, hands still connected at the fingertips.

Alex sang, _Time is racing toward us_

And Dane finished it with _Till the Huns arrive_

Alex: _Heed my every order_

Dane: _And you might survive_

Alex: _You're unsuited for_

Dane: _The rage of war_

Together: _So pack up, go home, you're through._

And then Dane turned and walked back toward the board as Alex sang, _How could I make a man out of you?_

Dane picked up the STRENGTH and DISCIPLINE weights from the floor and put them around his wrists. He slowly scaled the wall in slow motion as Alex sang,

_You must be swift as the coursing river_

_With all the force of a great typhoon_

_With all the strength of a raging fire_

_Mysterious as the dark side of the moon_

Dane pretended to grab the 'arrow' and threw it at Alex, who just stared at Dane. Dane ran over to Alex and jumped up into his arms, and Alex held him just like he had on the night so long ago at Regionals when they kissed after Dane came out. They sang together looking right at each other like there was no one but them in the room,

_You must be swift as the coursing river_

_With all the force of a great typhoon_

_With all the strength of a raging fire_

_Mysterious as the dark side of the moon_

After 'moon,' they kissed quickly on the lips, and then Alex let Dane drop down so he was standing and they bowed together.

* * *

><p><em>Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves<em>_  
><em>_Scheherezad-ie had a thousand tales_

Bryce started singing, sending a wink over to his partner, who rolled her eyes. They had practiced over a million times in the last week and it had taken Bryce four days of the seven to stop from laughing whenever the song began.

Jane would slap him on the side of the arm and tell him to concentrate, but eventually she would end up laughing too, and neither of them would be able to finish singing.

_But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeves__  
><em>_You got a brand of magic never fails_

Jane walked up next to Bryce and tugged on his sleeve, not laughing, but grinning in the way that they had both learned to repress the urge to fall on the floor in a fit of giggles.

_You've got some power in your corner now_

_You've got some ammunition in your camp_

Bryce walked around Jane, rubbing her shoulders as though preparing her for a boxing match. She slid to the side in a swift motion, elbowing him in the side and grinning.

_You've got some punch pizazz_

_Yahoo and how_

_See all you gotta do is rub that lamp_

Jane made a motion in the air like she was rubbing a lamp and Bryce leaned against her shoulder as though he too was examining it.

_And I'll say,_

_Mr. Aladdin sir, What will your pleasure be?_

Bryce crossed his arms over his chest, making his voice an octave lower and looking down at her with superior eyes.

Jane mimed writing down something on a pad of paper in the air, looking up at Bryce with an equally diplomatic look, singing in a French accent.

_Let me take your order, jot it down_

Jane wrapped her arm around Bryce's shoulders and nudged him in the chest.

_You ain't never had a friend like me._

Bryce pulled away from her embrace and bowed down as though asking her to dance. She took his hand and they clasped arms as Bryce continued with a terrible British accent that Jane had laughed at him for hours about when they were practicing.

_Life is your restaurant and I'm your matre'd._

Jane leaned in and pretended to whisper in Bryce's ear.

_Come on whisper what it is you want_

Bryce and Jane turned toward each other, high fiving in the air and singing right in each other's faces as though they were just fooling in their dorms and not actually performing in front of people.

_You ain't never had a friend like me_

Jane grabbed Bryce's arm and they both jumped around together, square dancing with phony Texas accents, and laughing so hard that they didn't know whether they could actually finish singing, and not really caring because they were having so much fun.

_Yes sir we pride ourselves on service_

_You're the boss the king the shah._

Bryce pointed to Jane and got down on his knee.

_Say what you wish it's yours true dish_

_How 'bout a little more baklava._

Jane lifted Bryce up with her free hand and motioned around the room to him as though she was selling real estate.

_Try some of column A_

_Try all of column B._

Bryce made his hand into a fist and held it toward Jane to hit with her own.

_I'm in the mood to help you dude._

They bumped fists and pulled back, wiggling their fingers as Bryce took on a surfer accent. Jane wrinkled her nose and Bryce thought for a split second that he had never been so happy just doing something stupid. He never just did stuff like this for fun, and even though he had to do it anyway for the stupid Warbler assignment, he definitely would miss just fooling around with Jane.

They had made so many inside jokes and just by catching her eye for a second he could feel all the memories coming back, and he felt like he could just let his guard down for a second.

It was nice.

_You ain't never had a friend like me_

This time they nearly screamed the notes, jumping toward each other with pointed fingers. Bryce winked and Jane rolled her eyes playfully, shoving him to the side.

_Wahaha_

Jane crossed over, jazz hands open and Bryce went in the other direction as he sang the back up.

_Oh my_

_Wahaha_

Bryce turned back toward Jane, grabbing her hand and pulling her back to dance with him to the music in a quick two step back and forth.

_Oh no_

_Wahaha_

_Wahaha_

_Bababazeepbobob._

They pulled back from each other and did a hand clap to the beat a la Miss Mary Mac, bumping each other's hips on the last syllable.

_Can your friends do this?_

Jane pushed Bryce away, pursing her lips and twisting her head as though they were going to have a dance off in the streets. She began a series of complicated tap dance steps, yawning after she sang her part as though it were as simple as riding a bike.

Bryce waved her off, pretending to be unimpressed and did a cartwheel masterfully in the opposite direction, a skill he had learned when he was younger and wanted to show up Dane.

_Can your friends do that?_

Jane mimicked pulling a hat off of her hand, and pushed her hand down inside the imaginary object as though pulling a rabbit out of it.

_Can your friends pull this out their little hat?_

Bryce made a motion of with his hands as though casting a magic spell.

_Can your friends go POOF_

_Well_ _looky here_.

He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, licking his lips and looking to the back of the room as though he had just created a couple of strippers like in the movie.

_Can your friends to abracadabra_

_Let em rip' and then make that sucker disappear._

Jane pretended to slap Bryce across the face, and he stumbled away with a grin still implanted on his face and shrugged. Jane sat down on a chair in the center of the floor and Bryce pushed her off of it.

_So don't just sit there slack yawed buggy eyed_

_I've got the answers to your midday prayers_

_You got me bona fida certified_

_You got a genie for your chare d'faires_

Jane tugged on the collar of her blazer, looking full of herself and Bryce rolled his eyes jokingly. He put a hand on her shoulder as though listening to the concerns of a small child.

_I got a powerful urge to help you out._

_So whatchya wish, I really wanna know?_

_You've got a list that's three miles long no doubt_

_And all you gotta do is rub like so and whoa._

Bryce winked and Jane laughed because the first time that they had practiced that line, Bryce cut in with, "That's what she said".

_Mr. Aladdin sir have a wish or two or three._

Jane held up her fingers as though counting on them, and Bryce pretended to be confused and looked at his own fingers, trying to mimic her.

_You're on the job, you big nabob._

Jane wrapped Bryce's head in his elbow, giving her a noogie, effectively making is hair fly in every direction. He glared at her and ruffled her hair with her free hand, as she fought back against him.

_You ain't never had a friend never had a friend._

Jane stepped in front of Bryce with her one foot and Bryce quickly bested her by stepping in front of her with his foot.

_You ain't never had a friend never had a friend_

_You ain't never had a friend like me._

They finished by dancing together again, Bryce twirled Jane out and they both ended with their backs faced toward each other, looking over at each other with fake looks of anger.

When the song had ended and the Warblers clapped, they both burst into laughter, looking at the other's face, and walked, hunched over from laughing so hard, back to their seats with secret smiles on their face.

"You didn't do too bad, Bryce." Jane said nudging his arm and sticking her feet up on the chair behind her like she always did.

"Not so bad yourself, Jane." He said, leaning back in his own chair, staring at the ceiling, not remembering the last time he had ever felt this accepted by someone.

* * *

><p>Damien stood in front of the Warblers alone, took a deep breath, and motioned with his hand for the music to start. The intro began playing, and he just stood there, looking around at everyone who was watching him intently.<p>

_I have often dreamed__  
><em>_Of a far off place__  
><em>_Where a great warm welcome__  
><em>_Will be waiting for me_

Damien looked first to Dane, who was sitting in the back next to Alex. Dane had his head rested on Alex's shoulder and he looked tired, but he was watching Damien. When he saw that Damien was looking at him, he gave his friend a thumbs up and a smile.

_Where the crowds will cheer__  
><em>_When they see my face__  
><em>_And a voice keeps saying__  
><em>_This is where I'm meant to be_

Damien then looked to Lucie, because he'd run out of friends to look at with Dane. Damien knew he wasn't exactly the most widely liked person ever; most people thought he was a bit of an asshole because of things he'd done in freshman year. Some people would try to be his friend just because of his father being famous, but he usually figured that out pretty quickly and then, because he was an ass, told them to fuck off.

Lucie was watching him intently with a blank expression on her face. She smiled to him when she saw him looking at her, and he felt his heart jump. He knew that Lucie was his friend – had been his friend, before he screwed that up – because of _him_. Not because of his dad. Not because of who he had been. But because of who he was now.

_I will find my way__  
><em>_I can go the distance__  
><em>_I'll be there someday__  
><em>_If I can be strong_

Damien looked instinctively at Alice, and away immediately, but he could still see her in his peripheral vision. She was watching him very closely with an expression of – something on her face. Anger. Or…maybe it was…longing…

No, why would it be that? He looked away and back at Dane. Alex had his arm wrapped around him and was running his hands absently through the shorter boy's hair. Damien's heart longed for someone to do that for. He wished he could hold someone, and run his hands through their hair…

Immediately he thought of golden hair, not brown, not Alice's.

Lucie's.

_I know every mile__  
><em>_Will be worth my while__  
><em>_I would go most anywhere__  
><em>_To feel like I belong_

As the music built to a crescendo Damien closed his eyes and tried not to think about Alice or Lucie, or anyone. Just him. And the music. And he put his all into it, trying to keep his voice from cracking like it did when he got too emotional over something.  
><em><br>__I am on my way__  
><em>_I can go the distance__  
><em>_I dont care how far__  
><em>_Somehow I'll be strong_

But then he opened his eyes and all the people were still there, still looking at judging him, and it pained him to know that it was true but Damien really couldn't stand being judged, no matter what for.

Did everyone think he was an awful friend? Did everyone think he was an asshole? Did they think he was a murderer? He'd been there too, with Anna, he could have stopped them, and then he'd been there the past few months when Dane was obviously going steadily downhill, he could have stopped _him_…

And he'd ruined everything with Lucie. He'd trusted Alice over her, and then he'd gotten hell for it. He'd made a mistake but it was a big one. He didn't expect Lucie to just forgive him. He almost didn't want her to. She deserved more than him.  
><em><br>__I know every mile__  
><em>_Will be worth my while__  
><em>_I would go most anywhere__  
><em>_To find where I belong_

As the song ended and everyone clapped, Damien sought out Lucie, and the look in her eyes was so accepting, maybe even caring, that it made him feel a little bit better. He remembered all the things she'd said in the hospital and as he smiled and took his seat, he tried to believe that they were true and that someone out there really thought them.

* * *

><p>Lucie twirled her hair in her fingers, feeling her palms begin to sweat as Damien's song ended. She tried not to watch him as he sang, but it was absolutely impossible. Her heart constricted in her chest, and she felt like if she made any motion that he would read too much into it and she would feel stupid again.<p>

But then, sometimes it felt as though he were singing directly to her. She knew that was a stupid notion, and that Damien was probably just looking around the room at everyone, but she couldn't help but keep her gaze trained on him, unable to look away.

As the song ended she sat up straighter in her chair, highly aware of the fact that soon Harvey would call her name.

She sat up carefully, feeling as though everyone's eyes were on her.

"Break a leg!"

Lucie was broken out of her trance by two hands placed carefully on her upper arms. She jumped a little and looked up to see Jane, grinning at her with encouragement, with Maddie behind her.

She had needed help with her song, since there were background voices, and they had been happy to comply.

"You ready?" Jane released her and walked up with her to the front of the room again. Lucie tried to smile at Jane, seemingly unaffected by Damien's performance, but she didn't buy the act. She leaned against her hip, knowing exactly why Lucie was upset, but acting as though she really had no idea at all. "Tough act to follow, huh?"

Lucie looked on unamused, and started walking ahead of Jane, who shrugged, only trying to lighten the mood.

She stood back behind Lucie with Maddie next to her, exchanging knowing glances.

Lucie took a deep breath, staring straight ahead at the clock at the end of the room. She hated performing in front of the Warblers in the hall when they were all staring right at her. It was much easier when everyone else was also performing.

Most of all she felt Damien's gaze on her, just as it had been during his song. She swallowed, motioning numbly to Harvey to start her music, trying to push all thoughts to the back of her mind.

_If there's a prize for rotten judgment_

_I guess I've already won that_

She looked down, pushing her lips together. How could she think that Damien liked her? He always had Alice, and she should have known that she would never be able to replace her.

They always flirted together while she was at the hospital, and the whole time she knew that he was in love with Alice, and she wouldn't have a chance with him.

How could she be so stupid?

_No man is worth the aggravation_

_That's ancient history, been there done that. _

Maybe it was better just to be single. He was driving her crazy. She could hardly concentrate on Warbler things anymore with him being there.

They would be friends and that would be it. She would push all non-platonic thoughts to the back of her mind. She didn't need the added stress in her life, especially when midterms and regionals were right around the corner.

She didn't need a distraction, especially not one that would definitely end in heartbreak.

_Who d'ya think you kidding?_

_He's the Earth and Heaven to ya'_

_Try to keep it hidden_

_Honey we can see right through you_

_Girl you can't conceal it we know how you feelin' _

_Who you're thinking of. _

Lucie chanced a look up as Jane and Maddie swayed in the background, turning toward each other as though having a conversation. Lucie waved them off and crossed her arms over her chest. She caught Damien's eyes for a brief moment.

She felt herself go dizzy for a moment, feeling all the blood rush to her face before turning her head away and wrapping her arms tight around herself.

_No chance no way I won't say it no no_

Lucie flung her hands out in frustration, turning back toward Maddie and Jane and biting her lip in frustration.

She did not love Damien. She didn't. They were friends. She couldn't love Damien. She didn't.

Did she?

The thought crossed Lucie's mind for a second and her eyes widened.

No.

Most definitely not. She couldn't love Damien. He most definitely didn't love her. He just wanted to be friends, and he was still getting over Alice.

_You swoon you sigh, why deny it oh oh?_

Jane and Maddie put their hands over their foreheads and swooned dramatically, Maddie falling into Jane's arms.

Lucie put her hand on her hips pretending to be annoyed.

_It's too cliché I won't say I'm in love. _

_I thought my heart had learned its lesson_

_It feels so good when you start out. _

_My head is screaming get a grip girl_

_Unless you're dying to cry your heart out _

She thought she had learned when Damien chose Lucie over her on Halloween. She thought she would never feel those things for him again, that she had never actually felt those things at all. That's what she told herself.

She looked out at the audience, scanning the faces of the Warblers watching her intently. There was Dane and Alex in the back, completely comfortable just sitting there with each other.

Why couldn't things just be that easy?

She caught Damien's eyes again. He was watching her intently, never taking his eyes off of her. Why did he have to do that?

She was trying to get over him and there he was looking with his big green eyes and that small smile on his lips and…

No. She stopped the thoughts in her mind before she ended up a miserable mess like she always did. She remembered all New Years when she had watched him, moping on the couch, too shy to actually do anything about it.

Bryce was right.

She needed to stop thinking about him if she wanted to stop being so upset all the time. It wasn't like they could be together anyway, right?

_You keep on denying who you are and how you're feeling_

_Baby we're not buying, hon we saw you hit the ceiling_

_Face it like a grown up_

_When you gonna own up that you've got got got it bad. _

Maddie and Jane grabbed Lucie by both of her arms, singing to her. She shut her eyes in frustration, looking at each of them as though they were two traveling saleswomen that were going to extremes to sell their product.

Jane took her hand and tried to lead her to the center again, but she pulled away.

_No chance no way I won't say it no no_

Jane crossed her arms over her chest, tapping her foot as though Lucie was a child that had just told her the dog ate her homework.

_Give up, give in, check that grin you're in love. _

Lucie blushed, covering the sheepish smile that had formed on her lips. It always happened whenever she started thinking about Damien, and she wished more than anything that she could stop her face from getting red, or her palms from sweating whenever he was in the room, but she couldn't, no matter how hard she tried.

She most definitely wasn't in love with him though. She might have had a little crush. Just a little one though. Definitely not anything big. It would pass.

She nodded to herself for reassurance, hoping that everyone thought she was just really good at acting.

_This scene won't play I won't say I'm in love_

_You're doing flips, read our lips you're in love._

Lucie held out the long note, balling her hands into fists at her sides as Jane and Maddie sighed dramatically, acting as though they had just explained how one plus one equaled two and Lucie just wasn't grasping the concept.

_You're way off base I won't say it_

_Get off my case I won't say it_

Lucie held her hand to her head as though she had a very bad headache and then turned toward Maddie and sang as though she was yelling at her and trying to ignore any thoughts about Damien that floated into her mind.

_Girl don't be proud it's okay you're in love. _

Jane put a hand on Lucie's shoulder and she looked up at her, biting her lip, knowing that she was singing the truth, but not wanting to hear it.

She swallowed, looking from Jane, out into the rows of chairs at Damien. He appeared to be thinking long and hard about something, but his eyes were on her. For a moment she swore she saw a flash of something, but she couldn't tell what exactly it was. It was like a sad realization, and it made her heart beat slow in her chest to the point where she felt as though she couldn't continue singing.

She kept her eyes on him and opened her mouth, eyes softening.

_At least out loud I won't say I'm in…_

She played with the end of her hair, suddenly feeling very self conscious as she nearly whispered,

_Love._

_Sha la la la la ahhh. _

Lucie was hardly aware that Jane and Maddie were behind her anymore. She felt as though she might cry on the spot, feeling her chest constrict uncomfortably. She smiled though, hoping that no one noticed her discomfort, and walked as though in a dream back to her seat without a word to Jane or Maddie.

They exchanged looks and sat back down, noticing that Damien and Lucie's expressions were nearly identical.

Damien shifted in his seat. What did Lucie mean by that? She couldn't be singing about him, right? But he knew that she was. She had to be. She looked right at him, and for a moment, it seemed that she was speaking directly to him.

He glanced around the room. Dane and Alex were talking quietly to each other in low whispers, probably talking about the song. Dane looked up, catching his gaze for a moment and giving him a sad smile.

Damien smiled back, as though it physically pained him too, and then slumped back in his seat. Harvey's talking was a low buzz in his ear, and he didn't even care who was going next or what they were singing.

* * *

><p>Alice walked to the front of the room as though she owned the place, in a pair of high, high heels and blazer off.<p>

She pointed to the boy handling the radio, and his eyes widened, hands shaking over the play button. Alice smirked, enjoying the power that she had over boys.

She flipped her hair, waiting for the music with a hand on her hip.

_Whoa oh oh Whoa oh oh oh_

_Look out for Cruella De Vil. _

The boys' mouths all hung open, crossing their legs uncomfortably as Alice crossed over the room as though she was a model.

She was the only person to sing a remix of a Disney song, of course. Alice always wanted to turn heads.

She wanted to show them just how good she actually was. She wanted to show Damien that she wasn't affected by the break up at all, in fact, she could get any guy she wanted.

_Cruella De Vil _

_Cruella De Vil_

_If she doesn't scare you no evil thing will_

_To see her is to take a sudden chill_

_Cruella Cruella De Vil_

Bryce rolled his eyes, looking toward Jane, whose eyes were wide in shock.

"Could she be any more of a slut?"

Jane fidgeted in her chair, clearing her throat. She could feel the blood rush to her cheeks, to her horror.

She couldn't tear her eyes away. Alice's skirt was so short and her legs were so well shaped, and her hips swung from side to side with every motion. Jane felt like a fire was growing in her stomach.

Alice was a slut. Yes. And everyone knew that, but then why did she feel like she…

She let her thoughts drift off as she was brought back to reality by Bryce's comment and nodded absentmindedly.

"Oh. Uh. Yeah. Total slut." She laughed uneasily, and pushed her lips together, trying to keep her mind off of the movement of Alice's body.

Bryce gave her a questioning gaze and then looked back up at Alice and spat. How could someone be that desperate? She was hot, yeah, but her personality was so sickening that he couldn't find himself attracted to her in the slightest.

Maybe she should be back with Damien, he thought with a small smirk.

_The curl of her lips, the ice of her stare_

_All innocent children at better beware. _

_She's like a spider waiting for the kill_

_Cruella Cruella De Vil_

Alice shimmied down and back up, running her hand up her well defined hip and winking out at the audience.

"Fuck." Jane whispered under her breath, biting so hard on her bottom lip that she thought she might break the skin. Why was she feeling this way? She was straight! She liked guys! She wasn't supposed to feel anything watching Alice whore it up except for contempt and jealousy and all the things normal straight girls felt.

And it wasn't like she would really want to do anything with Alice, right? She didn't actually think she was attractive. Maybe it was just the song. It had to just be the song.

Bryce looked over at her and smirked.

"I know, I can't believe it either."

Jane looked down, uncomfortable and then back up at Alice, feeling more vulnerable than she had in a long time.

Surely this was just a one time thing, right?

Right?

_At first you think Cruella is a devil_

_But after time has worn away the shock_

_You come to realize _

_You've seen her kind of eyes_

_watching you from underneath a rock._

Alice slid her hand along the piano, leaning against it and giggling to herself as she continued to skip around the room in her very short skirt.

Damien frowned, wondering who the nice girl he met back in 7th grade was. She used to hate girls that dressed the way she was now. She used to laugh at the pop stars who danced provocatively, and now she was doing it right in front of the entirety of the Warblers.

What happened to her?

He looked down, unable to watch anymore, and wondering if the girl he once knew was still under there, because the old Alice would never have cheated on him and then moved on without even an apology. If anything, he felt bad for her, despite all his anger.

_This vampire bat_

_This inhumane beast_

_She ought to be locked up and never released_

_The world was such a wholesome place until _

_Cruella Cruella De Vil_

Alice tugged playfully on her tie, exposing some of the skin at the top of her button up shirt, raising an eyebrow seductively as she finished up the song.

Lucie crossed her arms over her chest from her seat in the back. This was apparently the type of girl that Damien went for, and she could hardly remember a time when she and Alice had even been friends. Why would he choose her when she just broke his heart and manipulated him?

Lucie knew it was selfish to think such things about her cousin, but she couldn't help it.

Jane's breath was caught in her throat, feeling all the nerves in her body on high alert. She felt like everyone was watching her even though she knew that no one outside of Bryce even noticed that she was acting weird.

This wouldn't happen again. She wouldn't feel these things again. She wouldn't.

She bit her tongue as Alice slid past her to get to her seat, her thighs touching Jane's knees, feeling goosebumps when she passed.

She didn't know what Bryce said but her mind was off in another direction entirely, because everything she knew and everything she ever thought about herself was being questioned.

She felt like she had to guard her own thoughts, as though everyone could hear them, and by thinking what she was thinking, that it might actually be true.

A terrifying thought crossed her mind.

Was she gay?

**Please review!**


	27. Chapter 27: I Missed You

**Author's Note: WE ARE SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT ON THIS CHAPTER! We've had a lot of extenuating circumstances that made it impossible for us to write it until this weekend. Sorry about that, and hopefully updates will become more regular in the future. Thank you for bearing with us, and we really hope that you enjoy this chapter. :)**

**Caitlin wrote the Jane and Bryce scene in the beginning and the two performances, and Helen wrote the other scenes.**

**The songs used are: The Hardest Thing by Tyler Ward, Rhythm of Love by the Plain White T's, and Bulletproof by La Roux.**

**Chapter 27**

Jane flopped down on the couch, throwing her feet over Bryce's lap and resting back onto the arm rest of the couch. Bryce groaned, jokingly trying to push her feet off of him, but she crossed one leg over the other, making it harder for him to move them.

Jane laughed, taking a doughnut from the box that they were eating out of and grinning over at her friend.

"Comfortable, Bryce?"

"Bitch," Bryce muttered under his breath, reaching over to take a doughnut for himself. He wasn't sure when it had started, but ever since he and Jane had become friends, they had started getting together every Saturday and eating breakfast together in one of their dorms while watching something stupid on the TV.

Jane rolled her eyes.

"You know you _love_ me, Bryce." She grabbed for the remote and flipped through the channels.

"Hey!" Bryce cried, reaching to take the remote back, "I was watching that!"

Jane held the remote to her chest, keeping it out of Bryce's reach.

"Nope," she said decidedly, continuing to look through the channels, "I hate _The Price is Right._It's obviously made for people over the age of 65." She looked Bryce up and down and laughed. "Sorry, I don't think you qualify."

Bryce pushed Jane's legs off of him, sending her onto the floor, and then grabbed the remote back. Jane groaned, rubbing her side where she had fallen, and tackled Bryce to the couch, grabbing for the remote.

"You're not getting it!" Bryce cried, holding it over his head as Jane tried to pry his hands off it.

Jane rolled her eyes.

"I think you underestimate my power of you, Bryce."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

Jane leaned down and whispered the words a centimeter from Bryce's lips, causing him to gasp and drop the remote on the floor. Jane threw her head back and laughed, rolling off Bryce and making a dash for the remote.

Bryce sat up and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Not fair, Randall."

Jane settled back into the couch and waved the remote in Bryce's face.

"You want it?" she asked, as though talking to a dog. "You want the remote?"

Bryce growled and pushed her back onto the couch, grabbing the remote from her hands and quickly changing the channel.

A woman in a bikini running down the beach took up the screen and Bryce threw the remote across the room.

"There, that's more like it," he said, leaning back and putting his hands behind his head, "Nothing like hot chicks on a Saturday morning."

Jane rolled her eyes and accepted her defeat, putting her feet back on Bryce's lap and picking up her doughnut from the table in front of them.

"You're a pig," she said, averting her eyes from the television, because that girl really _was_ hot. Jane felt her cheeks flame. No. She didn't think that. She couldn't think that.

"Damn. Look at her. She's pretty much naked," Bryce said, mouth full of doughnut, eyes fixed on the screen.

Jane scoffed, glancing up for only a second before looking away._Fuck._

"She's not even that good looking," she lied, swallowing loudly and focusing on her doughnut, anywhere but at the screen.

Bryce shook his head.

"You're probably just jealous," he prodded, smirking over at Jane, "Admit it."

Jane frowned. She _wished_ she was just jealous. That would make things a lot easier. But she couldn't tell Bryce what she was _really_ thinking, so she settled on nodding and mumbling a 'whatever' under her breath.

Bryce suddenly felt bad, wondering if maybe he had gone too far, and then handed her the remote.

"Here, change it," he said, "You look like you want to kill someone."

Jane rolled her eyes but took the remote anyway, glad that the girl in the bikini was off the screen and the thoughts had left her mind, for now.

* * *

><p>"Are you nervous, Anders?" Dane asked, popping a French fry into his mouth. It was lunch and they were sitting in Alex's dorm room to practice their duet, just as they had done during lunch period for the past week. They couldn't do it after school because Derek came to pick Dane up right after his last period and couldn't make any exceptions due to his work schedule.<p>

"A little," Alex said, taking a swig from his water bottle.

They were eating first and then they'd practice. Alex was happy to see that Dane had eaten his entire mac and cheese and his own French fries, plus half of Alex's. They sat on Alex's bed, their legs crossed over each other's, trays balanced carefully on their laps.

"Well you're amazing," Dane said, reaching across Alex to wipe his hand on Alex's napkin, giving him a charming smile as he did so.

"As are you, Mr. Seigerson," Alex replied, not minding that Dane was using his napkin. He looked at Dane for a moment before saying, "You're in a good mood today."

Dane shrugged. "I guess. I think the meds are starting to work a little…"

"That's good." Alex smiled and kissed Dane's hair. "I like seeing your smile."

The corners of Dane's mouth twitched upward but he looked down playfully.

"Nope, you can't hide your smile from me, sir," Alex said, putting his finger on Dane's chin and angling it upward. Dane bit his lip but was smiling.

"I think you got ketchup on my chin," he whispered, even though neither of them even had ketchup.

"I think I may have…" Alex said, leaning in and kissing Dane's chin and then up in a line to his lips. They kissed for a moment until Dane pulled away.

"We have to practice," he said, clearing his throat.

"Yeah," Alex agreed, putting his tray aside and standing up so that Dane could stand up. (Alex's legs had been over Dane's.)

"Shall we dance, my good sir?" Dane asked, standing up and offering his hand to Alex.

"I think we shall," Alex replied, taking it and allowing Dane to pull him close.

* * *

><p>As the Warblers boarded the bus that would take them to Regionals, Lucie stood within the little queue of students outside the bus doors. She bit her lip, wondering who she would sit with. Jane would sit with Bryce, Alex would sit with Dane…<p>

Running a hand through her hair, a little agitated because before all this stuff happened, she would have sat with Damien. But now, she couldn't. She had to find someone else to sit with. She looked around, seeing Dane walk up to Alex, a grin spreading across her brother's face as he took his boyfriend's hand. Lucie felt her mouth twitch up into a smile too, and then she saw Jane and Bryce a little ways off from them, laughing at something, looking like they were going to split a rib from laughter. She watched them for a second, feeling glad that Bryce seemed to have a good friend now and maybe…more? Jane had told her that they were just friends but Lucie didn't quite believe her. She knew that boys and girls could be friends but it always became complicated…

_Speak of the devil,_ she thought to herself as Damien walked up to her. She did her best to smile at him. He looked nervous.

"I was wondering…if you'd sit with me on the bus?" he asked, biting his lip. He looked cute, with his hair sort of messed up in a very careful way, his green eyes dark and scared-looking, the corners of his mouth drawn into a line.

"Sure," she said quickly, and he visibly relaxed, smiling.

"Cool," he said. There was a bit of a silence. "I don't have anyone else to sit with…" he said, as an explanation.

"Though I was your first choice, obviously," Lucie said, teasing.

His eyes widened. "Yes! Yes, of course you were, Lucie!"

She smiled. "Well…thanks."

"I-I really like you," he stammered, then realized what he'd just said. "I mean – I mean I like you as a person and a possible bus buddy…"

She nodded, blushing. "Yeah. Of course."

"ALRIGHT, EVERYONE, ONTO THE BUS!" an authoritative voice called, and everyone started filing into the big bus that they'd rented for the occasion.

Damien and Lucie found a seat in the middle, across the aisle from Dane and Alex, and a few rows in front of Jane and Bryce who would have completely ignored them anyway.

The bus started and the ride would be two hours to get to the school where regional was being held. Damien and Lucie sat there quietly, both looking out the window.

"Do you want to listen to music?" Damien asked, having looked across the aisle to see Dane and Alex sharing earbuds listening to something and rocking out in an overexaggerated way that suggested they didn't know they were on a bus full of people.

"Sure," Lucie said, taking the earbud that Damien offered to her. She smiled at him and he smiled back, handing her his iPod to choose a song.

"Pick whatever you want, I like all of it." He drew a hand through his hair nervously, and a curtain of her own hair fell across her face between them as she bent over his iPod to pick a song. She picked 'The Hardest Thing' by Tyler Ward, knowing that she loved that song but also that it reminded her of Damien.

They were silent, both listening to the song, with the sound of their fellow Warblers all talking loudly and sometimes bursting out into song surrounding them, but they were in their own world.

_A still framed photograph of you, and me together.__  
><em>_Is all I have of me and you anymore.__  
><em>_We were so in love and we thought it'd last forever.__  
><em>_But in the storm, we were torn._

_And I won't forget you, don't regret you. And the hardest thing I've had to do is live without you.__  
><em>_And I wonder why we both walked away.__  
><em>_I'm lost without you, still crazy for you.__  
><em>_Just turn around, come back because your smile is overdue__  
><em>_And I miss, I miss you._

_If I'd only knew the words to say that would make you turn around (turn around)__  
><em>_I'd say those words to you more than a million times.__  
><em>_It's been forever, but that hasn't changed what you mean to me.__  
><em>_Darling can't you see?_

_That I won't forget you, don't regret you. And the hardest thing I've had to do is live without you.__  
><em>_And i wonder why we both walked away (We walked away)__  
><em>_I'm lost without you, still crazy for you.__  
><em>_Just turn around, come back because your smile is overdue_

_And I miss, I miss you._

_I'm sorry for all I did, what I said and things I hid.__  
><em>_I'm finally over me..__  
><em>_Is that too late for you?__  
><em>_I can't imagine where I'd be__  
><em>_If you had never rescued me__  
><em>_You gave me hope to live, and I need you.__  
><em>_Yes I need you!_

_And I won't forget you, don't regret you. And the hardest thing I've had to do is live without you.__  
><em>_And i wonder why we both walked away. (Walked away)__  
><em>_I'm lost without you, still crazy for you.__  
><em>_Just turn around, come back because your smile is overdue__  
><em>_And I miss, I miss you._

* * *

><p>The Warblers waited behind stage, everyone quietly whispering to each other before the curtains would open.<p>

Jane and Bryce were unable to contain their laughter about whatever they had been talking about and Ms. Medel shushed them from the wings. This only made them laugh harder and everyone rolled their eyes.

Dane and Alex stood in the front of the group. Alex bit his lip, nervous, and Dane gave him a reassuring smile, wanting to walk over and hug him, kiss him, _anything_. He would have too, if it weren't for the small audience they had behind them, or for the fact that he was so nervous he thought he was going to puke himself.

'_I love you_' Alex mouthed, his lips twitching up into a small smile. He hated singing in front of people, and his stomach was doing somersaults, but at least he had Dane with him, and that made it less scary of a prospect.

_'I love you'_Dane mouthed in return, feeling suddenly giddy. He shook out his hands in front of him and Alex laughed lightly under his breath.

Alex opened his mouth to say something else, but just then the curtains began to open, and all of the Warblers stood motionless, waiting to be announced.

"Welcome to the 51st annual regional show choir competition!" the announcer said from the side of the stage, motioning with a flourish to the Warblers, whose hearts were all beating a hundred miles an hour. "Our first group to perform will be the Dalton Academy Warblers from Westerville, Ohio!"

The crowd clapped appreciatively as they would for every other group that performed that day. The applause filled Alex's ears, making his palms suddenly sweaty, and he looked over at Dane, who was staring straight ahead, trying not to show just how nervous he was. Alex looked back forward again just as Dane turned his head to glance at him, very nervous himself.

A tense silence fell across the auditorium, so silent that it drove Alex crazy. He was grateful when the Warblers began singing the intro to the song, the calm mock guitar noises filled his ears and calmed his nerves like a wave washing over him.

_My head is stuck in the clouds  
><em>_He begs me to come down says 'Boy quit fooling around'._

Alex sang looking over to Dane as though he was the only person in the room, and to Alex, it was almost as if he was. He blocked out all the people in the crowd, and the Warblers behind him, and focused on the one person that was most important to him over anything in the world

_I told him I love the view from up here  
><em>_Warm sun and wind in my ear  
><em>_We'll watch the world from above as it turns to the rhythm of love._

Dane turned toward Alex, crossing over to him from across the stage and grinning. He loved singing with Alex more than anyone else in the world, it was the most intimate experience you could have with someone without touching. He loved the way their voices weaved together like they weren't meant to be apart.

_We may only have tonight  
><em>_But till the morning sun you're mine.  
><em>_All mine._

They joined voices as they joined hands in the center of the stage, both smiling the way only the other person could make them.

_Play the music low and sway to the rhythm of love._

Alex wrapped an arm around Dane's waist and squeezed his hand as they began to sway to the beat of the music, the Warblers swaying in the background behind them.

_My heart beats like a drum  
><em>_Guitar string to the strum  
><em>_A beautiful song to be sung._

Dane led as they continued to slow dance with each other, so close that it felt as though they were all alone instead of performing in an auditorium full of people. They had practiced a million times with Alex stepping on Dane's feet multiple times, but they finally got the steps down. It was nearly impossible to stop from grinning. Dancing with Alex was almost better than singing with him. Even though Dane knew he hated it, he was the best dance partner he had ever had, truthfully.

_He's got grey eyes deep like the sea  
><em>_That roll back when he's laughing at me.  
><em>_He rises up like the tide the moment his lips meet mine._

Dane stood on his tip toes and gave Alex a peck on the lips, pulling apart from where they were dancing and grabbing his hand, walking in time to the music across the stage.

Alex's face blushed bright red, because they definitely hadn't rehearsed that, but he regained his composure and followed Dane singing,

_We may only have tonight  
><em>_But til the morning sun you're mine  
><em>_All mine_

Alex pulled Dane back to him from where he was walking in the opposite direction, and Dane grinned, catching Alex's eyes and winking. He rested his hand back around Alex's waist and held his hand in his own, swaying back and forth.

_When the moon is low  
><em>_We can dance in slow motion  
><em>_And all your tears will subside  
><em>_All your tears will dry._

Alex made sure he looked at Dane when he sang the last line, hoping that he knew the lyrics were true. He wanted to make Dane as happy as he possibly could, to help him through all the bad times and make things okay again.

Dane swallowed, smiling softly and fighting the urge to bury his head in his boyfriend's chest.

_Ba ba ba ba ba  
><em>_Ba ba ba ba  
><em>_Da da da dum da da dum_

Derek's mouth remained in a straight line from in the audience, and Casey glanced over at him. She leaned over and whispered in his ear, "This is so adorable."

Derek grunted in response, crossing his arms over his chest. He still didn't know whether he liked Alex or not. Of course he was grateful to him for everything he had done for Dane, and he was a good kid, but he didn't think he was used to the idea of _anyone_ being with Dane yet. He knew that Dane was so in love with this kid, and he worried that he would get his heart broken.

Reed smiled a small smile watching his son up on stage with his boyfriend. He really was growing up so fast. It seemed like only yesterday that he was up on that stage with the Warblers. He had never sung anything with Shane before, but they had in private, and it brought back a million memories at once.

Shane leaned over and whispered to him.

"Remember that time we sang together in the fun house?" He asked quietly. Reed nodded, turning to meet his husbands eyes.

"How could I forget?" He asked, blushing a little as he spoke. It was amazing to Shane that even after years of being married that he could still have that affect on his husband. "I love you, Shane," Reed whispered back, kissing his husband quickly on the lips and laying his head against his shoulder as they watched the rest of the performance.

Shane smiled, looking down at Reed and thinking how lucky he was to have him, and how he hoped Alex got to spend his life with someone like Dane that he loved just as much.

_And long after I'm gone  
><em>_I'll still keep humming along  
><em>_And I will keep you in my mind  
><em>_The way you make love so fine._

_'Screw it_' Dane thought, reaching over to cup Alex's cheek as he sang the last line. Alex laughed under his breath and took a deep breath singing the chorus one last time and soaking up the warm feeling that spread through his stomach.

_We may only have tonight  
><em>_But till the morning sun you're mine  
><em>_All mine  
><em>_Play the music low and sway to the rhythm of love_

The song came to a close and Dane had the urge to jump up and hug his boyfriend, but he didn't, remaining in control, he instead grabbed his hand and did a bow and then motioned toward Alex to do the same, grinning from ear to ear.

As they made their way back to the group of Warblers, Dane whispered to his boyfriend.

"Good job, Dude. We nailed it." Alex grinned, taking his place and smiling over at Dane, who had already disappeared to his respective spot before he could respond.

Once both Dane and Alex were back in the group, the Warblers started weaving a new rhythm, a familiar techno beat. They began tapping their feet as the beat grew louder and Jane emerged from behind them on the back riser, skipping down the stairs down the middle.

_Been there done that messed around  
><em>_I'm having fun don't put me down  
><em>_I'll never let you sweep me off my feet._

She winked at the audience throwing one hip out and walking to the other side of the stage like she owned the place.  
><em>I won't let you in again<br>__The messages you tried to send  
><em>_My information's just not going in_

She put out both of her hands in front of her as though not knowing what do and shrugged her shoulder, snapping with her right hand as though she didn't care about anything anymore. Jane was working it, and all the male members of the Warblers certainly noticed, as well as a few females.

_Been there done that messed around  
><em>_I'm having fun don't put me down  
><em>_I'll never let you sweep me off my feet._

She skipped by where the Warblers were in the background and pulled on Bryce's tie flirtatiously, causing him to send her a look of annoyance. She laughed and kept singing.

_This time baby I'll be bulletproof  
><em>_This time baby I'll be bulletproof._

Jane made a gun motion with her hand and then blew on it as though she had just shot it, and then started skipping to the other side of the stage.

_I won't let you turn around  
><em>_And tell me now I'm much too proud  
><em>_To walk away from something when it's dead._

She put a hand up as though to say 'whatever' and turned around on the balls of her feet.

_Tick, tick, tick, tick on the watch__  
><em>_And life's too short for me to stop__  
><em>_Oh baby, your time is running out_

Jane motioned to her wrist as though checking the time and tapped on it four times as she said 'tick tick tick tick' and then showed her wrist to the audience as though telling them the time.

_I won't let you turn around__  
><em>_And tell me now I'm much too proud__  
><em>_All you do is fill me up with doubt_

Jane put her hands on her hips as she sang, legs spread apart as though she was on a runway and then began walking toward the edge of the stage.  
><em><br>__This time, baby, I'll be bulletproof__  
><em>_This time, baby, I'll be bulletproof__  
><em>_This time, baby, I'll be bulletproof__  
><em>_This time, baby, I'll be bulletproof_

The other Warblers in the background danced around with their individual partners, skipping around each other and then posing in a Charlie's Angels fashion in pairs as the song came to an end.

The crowd exploded in applause, and Jane bowed, grinning in the way that only performing could make her. She loved the adrenaline rush, the cheers of the audience, the empowerment it gave her. It was the only time she was completely sure of herself.

As the Warblers all shuffled backstage, Bryce came up behind her and hugged her middle. She squealed a little, not expecting him, and then twisted out of his embrace, slapping him on the arm.

"Hey!" she cried, pursing her lips. "That wasn't fair."

"You looked like you were going to shit yourself," Bryce laughed, "Priceless." Then he paused, shifting on the balls of his feet. "You were really good."

Jane smiled.

"I know I was," she said cockily, licking her lips and watching Bryce's expression go from admiring to annoyed. He rolled his eyes and slapped her back.

"Come on, let's go back to the greenroom before your head inflates anymore."

* * *

><p>The Warblers left the stage, all excited after the performance, smiling and laughing and talking loudly, high fiving each other, confident that they'd done well. Damien and Lucie found each other amidst all the people, and still in a performance high, Damien took her hand and dragged her away from everyone, down the hall a ways and around a corner. She leaned against a deck of lockers and he put his hands against the lockers on either side of her, leaning close.<p>

"Lucie, I love you," he said, a little breathless from the performance.

She nodded. "I love you too," she said, also out of breath, and then suddenly, Damien was kissing her, and she stood up straight and he wrapped his hands around her and she tangled her fingers in his hair, and they could hear the distant sound of the Warblers down the hall and around the corner but right here, right now, it was just them. Their lips were connected and it felt like nothing would ever separate them, because it was more than just their lips. It was their entire beings, their hearts and souls, and they loved each other. They'd been through a lot, together and respectively, and yet here they were, after it all, together.

"I missed you," Lucie said, pulling away.

"I missed you too," Damien replied softly. "And I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. It was you, the whole time, and I just didn't know it."

"But you know it now?" Lucie asked shyly, biting her lip.

"I know it now," Damien said, wrapping her into a hug.

* * *

><p>Everyone stood on the stage; all the Warblers and the other two singing groups, plus the announcer who had an envelope in his hands. He was talking about what a 'tough decision' it was and blah blah blah. Dane and Alex stood in the front, holding hands, with Lucie and Damien standing right behind them. Their hands were attached, had been since they kissed in the hallway and then ran back toward the auditorium to line up onstage with their fellow Warblers.<p>

Dane looked back at Damien, smiling at him, and Alex grinned at Lucie. Damien and Lucie both looked embarrassed, and Dane and Alex shared a knowing look as the announcer talked. More blah blah blah.

Bryce and Jane stood in the middle of the group, fidgeting, looking at each other and then away so they wouldn't start laughing.

"So the winner of tonight's competition is…" the announcer said finally, and they all held their breath.

Time slowed: Dane and Alex's eyes locked, Bryce's hand brushed Jane's, and Damien squeezed Lucie's hand.

"The McKinley High School New Directions!" the announcer exclaimed happily, and the auditorium burst into applause.

The Warblers all looked to each other, disappointment written across all of their faces, as the New Directions stood next to them, cheering, excited.

They were forced to stand there, remaining in their ranks, polite, while the winners jumped up and down and screamed. None of the Warblers looked at each other.

Finally, they were allowed to leave the stage, and they walked quietly into their green room. They all stood there for a second, before someone said, "Those bastards!" loudly, and everyone laughed hesitantly. The ice was broken and everyone turned to each other to comfort one another.

Bryce looked to Jane, who was standing next to him. "Do you think it was my fault?" she asked, looking more vulnerable than he'd ever seen her.

"No!" he exclaimed, brushing a piece of her hair away from her eye. "It was definitely not your fault. Maybe the dancing was bad, or…maybe it was Alex's fault." He winked. "It wasn't you, I swear."

She just bit her lip, unconvinced.

"I think we should have won, just because of you," he said, giving her an encouraging smile.

Meanwhile, Damien stood with his arms around Lucie. "I think Nationals is overrated," he said, kissing her hair and rubbing her back.

She shook her head.

"Next year," he promised. "Next year, we'll make it to Nationals, and we'll _win_, dammit. I swear."

She looked up at him with big eyes. "You don't know that, Damien."

"If you choreograph, we'll definitely win," he said with confidence.

She raised an eyebrow. "I choreographed for this too."

"Well…" He looked down at his feet and then back up at her. "Maybe we can practice together? You can try out new dances with me?"

"That's what I have Dane for," she said, brushing her hair back from her face.

Damien waved a hand. "Dane who?" he asked, and they both laughed.

Meanwhile, Dane rested his head against Alex's shoulder as Alex rubbed his back. "I think you were amazing," he whispered in Dane's ear.

"If I didn't kiss you we could have won," Dane mumbled into Alex's shirt.

"No," Alex said calmly. "Shh, don't say that. It's not your fault, okay?" He put his hands on Dane's cheeks and pulled his head up so Dane was forced to look at him. "It isn't your fault, babe. New Directions was just really good, okay?"

Dane shook his head. "They don't like when people kiss and they don't like when two _boys_ do it even more and-"

"Stop." Alex put a finger on Dane's lips. "It's not your fault. Don't say that anymore, please."

Dane kissed Alex's finger but still looked unconvinced.

Alex's heart broke but there was nothing he could do. He felt frustration welling up in him. He couldn't say anything to make Dane feel better. He didn't mind putting himself and his own feelings aside for Dane, like now, because he didn't care about Warblers as much as Dane did. But when he spent hours talking to Dane, trying everything he could to make him feel better: distract him, talk him through whatever was bothering him, hold him in his arms, listen to him rant… And nothing _worked_… That made Alex frustrated. He knew he wasn't wasting his time because maybe this was what kept Dane alive, but he wished, more than anything, that he could say some magic words and make everything alright and everything could be normal again.

He hated seeing Dane upset like that. He _hated_ it. He felt so useless.

And it wasn't like it went one way with Dane, either. Dane always, without fail, asked Alex how his day was and what was going on with him, before he ever started in on himself. Sometimes Alex could tell that Dane was upset and he would decline to answer Dane's questions, instead asking Dane to tell him what was wrong. This was what struck Alex: that Dane cared so much about other people, more than he did about himself, and yet the world for some reason had treated this beautiful, caring boy like a piece of shit. It had taken away his sister, convinced him that it was his fault, given him depression, made him hurt himself, and driven him to suicide on multiple occasions.

Alex didn't know why and he didn't know what he could do to help his boyfriend. He felt like there was something he should be doing, and when he didn't cheer him up, he felt like he'd failed in some way.

But it was all worth it when Dane was happy. When he smiled, or laughed, or stole Alex's camera and took pictures of Alex to bother him, or kissed him as they passed each other in the hallway, or swung their hands between them as they walked, or laughed until he complained that he couldn't breathe at a movie or TV show, or or or. There was an infinite number of things that Dane did that made Alex love him so much, and want to help him as long as he needed.

Now, Alex ran his thumb along Dane's cheek. "You're perfect, sweetie," Alex said, kissing Dane's hair. "Absolutely perfect. Did you forget?"

Dane looked down sheepishly.

"Well I'll remind you again and again and again until you hate me," Alex said, biting his lip.

Dane laughed just a little, and Alex knew that this time he'd be alright. "I will _never _hate you," Dane replied. "And for the record, you were fucking fantastic out there."

**Please review!**


	28. Chapter 28: I Kissed a Girl

CHAPTER 28: I Kissed a Girl

**Hey guys. So…this has taken an embarrassingly long amount of time to get to you. And for that we apologize tenfold times ten. We won't bore you with the details, but we're here now and we hope to make updates more regular!**

**So…**

**Helen wrote Ducien in the beginning, the Dane and Damien scene, the Jane and Lucie scene, and the dinner scene.**

**Caitlin wrote the Bryce and Jane scene (if you so choose to ship these two, please to be referring to them as 'Seigall.' Thanks. Bye.), the Dalex scene, and the Bryce and Alex scene.**

**Again, we're very sorry, and we can only hope you're still here to forgive us.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Lucie laid with her book on her face to block the sun's rays. She'd forgotten her sunglasses at home, and as this was the first day on the beach, she was seriously regretting her forgetfulness.<p>

At least the rest of her body was going to get tan. Not that she really cared about being tan or anything but… oh, hell, what girl doesn't care at least a little bit?

It was mid-July before their senior year. They were all gathered at Damien's Hamptons house again: Lucie, Damien, Jane, Bryce, Dane, and Alex. Damien had invited Lucie and Dane, who'd invited Alex, and then Bryce wanted to come because it was 'no fair that Dane gets to go to the beach for a week if I can't,' and then he brought Jane because 'everybody else gets to bring somebody.'

"Hey!" She was splashed with sand as Damien sat down next to her.

She made a noise in the back of her throat, which could either be considered a greeting or an expression of annoyance.

"So…how has the last half hour been?" Damien asked, plucking the book up off her face.

"Bright," she said, closing her eyes in the sudden glare of sunlight.

"Well that is why I ran up to the boardwalk and bought you a brand new pair of…" He presented them with a flourish. "Sunglasses!"

She sat up. "Damien!" She grabbed them out of his hand and put them on her face, and sighed in instant relief. "Thank you so much!" She threw her arms around him, and he laughed and hugged her back, kissing her hair.

"So are we gonna sit here all day or are we gonna get wet?" Damien asked, raising his eyebrows at her.

She grinned. "C'mon." She stood and tugged him up with her, then they ran hand in hand into the surf.

* * *

><p>"Bryce Seigerson, I swear to god if you value your ability to reproduce you won't splash me again!" Jane screamed, hair falling in her eyes from the huge wave that the younger Seigerson had just pushed her into.<p>

Bryce laughed, head rolling skyward.

"You look like a dead rat!" he called, cackling loudly, mostly just to get a reaction out of the other girl.

"Oh, now you're getting it," she said, jumping on Bryce's back and sending him into a huge wave, sputtering and cursing.

"Godammit, Randall!" He reached for Jane blindly, sea water clouding his vision, and fell into another wave.

Jane was too busy laughing to notice the huge wave that came in her own direction and fell down on top of him.

"That's what you get!" Bryce yelled, "Mother nature's on my side, bitch!"

Jane rolled her eyes and stumbled up, adjusting her swimsuit top so she wouldn't give Bryce a free show. Godammit. Why did girl's swimsuits have to be so flimsy? She ran toward the shore before Bryce could get to her and back to their towels, flopping down dramatically.

"You killed me," she said, once Bryce had returned. "I'm dead now. It's all your fault."

Bryce scoffed.

"Last time I checked you were the one who _tackled _me."

"Details, details," Jane sighed, grabbing for her sunglasses and putting them on in a movie-star-esque fashion. "What happened to mother nature?"

"She was a bitch anyway."

Jane laughed, sitting back on her towel so that she was resting on her forearms.

"Speaking of bitches, look at that girl," Bryce said, whistling under his breath as a tall model-like girl in a very tiny bikini ran down the beach, boobs jiggling with each step.

Jane looked up from where she was examining a shell that may or may not be a crab sitting suspiciously close to their towel and swallowed. Shit. She was...hot...no! No she wasn't! She was a slut! Yeah. That was what she was. Not hot. She wasn't hot. Jane didn't think she was hot. Not at all. Oh fuck.

"Hello, earth to Randall..." Bryce waved a hand in front of her face and Jane slapped it down.

"I'm right here, idiot!"

"Actually you were just staring at that girl like you were going to eat her."

"No I wasn't!"

"Yeah, you were," Bryce said, grin growing on his face. "Looked like you were checking her out."

"I was not! Asshole!"

"You got something you want to tell me? A secret closet of flannel shirts?"

"Shutup!" Jane bit her lip, looking away from the other boy. She was _not _checking her out. She was just looking!

"God, why so defensive, I'm kidding," Bryce said, rolling his eyes, "Are you on your period or something?"

Jane nudged him in the stomach, hard.

"Ow! Fuck!"

"Don't you know you aren't supposed to ask girls if they're on their periods?"

"Well you're PMSing the hell out so I wouldn't be shocked!"

Jane answered him by flipping him the bird and rolling over onto her back.

"I'm sorry, God, don't be so dramatic!" Bryce said, but she didn't answer, just laid down and left herself to her own thoughts.  
>"You wanna talk about something?" Bryce asked uncomfortably as the silence stretched on. Didn't girls like to talk about their feelings and shit?<p>

Jane didn't answer him.

"Oh come on! I said I was sorry!"

Jane sighed. Maybe she was being a bit dramatic. Then again, that was her thing. She rolled over and pulled her legs to her chest.

"What the hell was that about?" Bryce asked when she had resurfaced, pushing his lips together.

Jane pursed her lips and shrugged, tapping her feet in the sand.

"I have to tell you something," She said carefully, shutting her eyes behind her sunglasses. Bryce blinked.

"Um. Okay, shoot," He said, secretly hoping it wasn't going to turn into some dramatic teen drama.

"And you can't tell anyone about it," Jane muttered threateningly, "Got it?"

"Got it." What the hell could she have to tell him?

"Alright." Jane heaved a huge breath in and turned her attention back to the suspicious shell she had been eyeing earlier. "I was checking her out."

Bryce's lips parted a little. What did she mean...

"What?"

"You heard me."

Processing...processing...

"What?" Bryce repeated, head spinning with a million thoughts. Was she _gay? _God was everyone gay nowadays? "You're a lesbian?"

Jane nearly choked on her own spit.

"No!" she gasped, coughing. "No. I'm _not_ a lesbian."

"Then what are you?"

She kicked the sand, sending it onto somebody else's towel. "I don't know," she whispered, knotting her hands in the towel and feeling stupid. How did she not know?

"Oh," Bryce said, unsure of what else to say. Everything that was running through his mind would either get him a good kick in the balls or make him sound like a homophobic douchebag.

Jane rolled her eyes.

"I guess I'm bisexual," she said, making a face, "Or something."

"Or something?"

"Shutup, I don't know!"

Bryce nodded.

"So, uh, have you had a crush on any girls?"

Jane nodded, sticking her tongue into her cheek.

"Who!" Bryce said, almost too eagerly, and then mentally kicked himself. "I mean, who?"

Jane thought for a moment. She couldn't tell Bryce who it was...

"You know her."

"I do?" Bryce listed virtually every girl they had come into contact the past year in his mind. "Is it Maddie?"

Jane shook her head.

"Uh, that girl from our Earth Science class...uh...Jessica?"

"Fuck no!" Jane said shaking her head. "Look, does it matter who?"

Bryce shrugged.

"Look, you know who I have a crush on, fair's fair."

Jane groaned. That was exactly _why_ she couldn't tell him.

"You really want to know?" she asked sheepishly, suddenly wishing that she was having this conversation in a less public setting.

"No, I really don't," Bryce deadpanned, rolling his eyes.

Jane nodded. Normally she would've come up with a comeback, but she didn't have the stamina right now.

"Alright, I'll tell you," she said, after a long beat of silence. Bryce crossed his legs, leaning closer subconsciously.

"It's Lucie."

* * *

><p>"You know what I think?" Alex said, swinging his and Dane's hands between them as they walked along the board walk. The sun beat down on them hard, making it nearly impossible to breathe. It was over 100 degrees, and the hottest day of the summer. "I think we should have gone to the beach instead."<p>

Dane groaned and took a long sip of the water he was holding in his other hand.

"Ha. Beaches are for the weak!" he said. "Real men take the heat!"

Alex rolled his eyes and took a picture of Dane.

"Well I say we go in the next store we see, because I, personally, cannot."

Dane nodded eagerly.

"Eh, screw manliness," he said, leading Alex into one of the cheesy t-shirt shops.

Alex paused in front of the store and pointed to one of the shirts.

"I think that you should wear this," he said, grinning and pointing to a particularly cheesy shirt that sported 'YOLO' in bright pink letters. "It's very you."

Dane pouted and pointed to another shirt that said, 'Sexy and I know it'.

"If I get that shirt you have to get this shirt," he said, raising an eyebrow at Alex, who simply laughed and snapped another picture.

"I changed my mind, I think that shirt over there that says 'Classy Bitch' is more your style."

He led Dane further inside the store before he could protest and picked up a pair of Kanye West glasses, putting them on his boyfriend's unamused face and standing back to get a picture.

"We should get you out of this store before you end up buying half the merchandise," Dane muttered, taking the glasses and putting them back in their rightful place. Alex laughed, ignoring his boyfriend's comment and pointing to a pair of booty shorts on the wall that said, 'Property of my Boyfriend' on them.

"You should get those."

Dane gave Alex a look.

"Don't you think they're more your style?"

Alex blushed and hit him in the chest, causing Dane to wince dramatically in fake pain.

"I feel so abused, this is an abusive relationship."

Alex laughed and took another picture.

"You haven't realized that by now?" He picked up a plastic toy hammer from a bin in the middle of the store and bonked the top of Dane's head with it.

Dane laughed and picked up another one of the hammers

"You shouldn't have done that," he said, hitting Alex on the side of the arm lightly. He fell against one of the shelves and threw his head back in pain.

"Oh no! I'm going to die! You killed me!"

People were starting to stare and Dane didn't know whether to be embarrassed or amused, but he shook his head and laughed anyway because Alex was just too adorable.

"I don't know you," he said, turning his head and pretending to walk away. "I don't have a boyfriend, I'm single."

"No!" Alex said, running after him and hugging him from behind. "Love me!"

Dane kept walking with Alex trailing behind him. By this point the whole store was staring.

"I don't know you."

"Fine," Alex said, letting go, "It's over!" he teased, fake crying into his hand.

By this point they were just outside the store.

"Like I care," Dane teased back, crossing his arms over his chest. "I only wanted you for your body anyway."

Alex fake sniffed and then burst into laughter, unable to hold it in anymore.

"Well, that's partially true," he said, grabbing Dane's hand and continuing to walk, "I do have a pretty nice body." He took another picture and laughed.

"Psh. Not that nice," Dane lied, turning to Alex and grinning. Alex leaned up and kissed him on the cheek.

"Let's get ice cream," he said suddenly, dragging Dane toward a booth, smiling like an idiot the entire time as the people around them looked on in confusion.

* * *

><p>"You like <em>Lucie?<em>" Bryce said, voice rising uncharacteristically. She couldn't like Lucie! Lucie was straight! Lucie was dating Damien. And if she wasn't she would definitely be with him.

Jane nodded sheepishly.

"Yeah, I like Lucie, okay?" she said, crossing her arms. "Don't make a big deal out of it. You like her too."

Bryce bit his lip, hard.

"When did you start liking Lucie anyway?" He tried to keep his voice from sounding bitter but failed miserably. First he found out his best friend was bisexual and now she liked the same girl that he did? This was too much to take in.

"Since we were kids, I think," Jane said, drawing circles in the sand. She had always had a thing for Lucie...even if she didn't want to admit it. It was always there. "And you can't tell her, okay? I know she's straight, so it doesn't matter anyway."

Thank God, Bryce thought. He didn't know if he could handle Lucie dating his best friend. He could hardly handle her dating his enemy.

"Yeah, and she's got _Damien_," he said bitterly. "What does she even _see_ in him?"

Jane laughed under her breath, secretly happy that Bryce, one, didn't hate her, and two, was acting normal around her.

"He's such a pretty boy."

"I know!" Bryce said, face palming. "He's going to shoot us all one day when he cracks from the pressure! He's too perfect."

Jane rolled her eyes.

"He's a phony," she said, quoting Catcher In the Rye, which went right over Bryce's head.

"That's the perfect word for it," Bryce said, oblivious, "Phony."

Jane laughed, sharing her own secret inside joke and leaned back on her towel.

"So, I guess I'm bisexual," she said as nonchalantly as she could. She failed, voice shaking on the end and bit her lip.

"That's kind of cool," Bryce mused after a moment, lying down next to her. "We can talk about chicks!"

Jane scoffed, but was secretly happy. She rolled over and punched Bryce in the arm.

"What was that for?" He said, sitting up and rubbing his arm.

Jane shrugged.

"Thanks," she said, smiling a little.

"No problem."

Jane suddenly threw her arms around Bryce, holding him tight. His eyes widened and he awkwardly patted her pack, a la Voldemort.

When Jane pulled away she smiled brightly.

"Now let's cut the chick flick crap and cause some havoc," she said, getting up from the towel and running down the beach.

_What a girl,_ Bryce thought as he chased after her.

* * *

><p>Alex wiped his hair with the towel as he emerged from the bathroom in a blue Captain America shirt and khaki shorts, humming to himself. He paused to knock on Lucie and Jane's door. "Hey Lucers, it's your turn," he said quickly before continuing down the hall and into the room he was sharing with Bryce.<p>

"But here's my number, so call me maybe," he sung under his breath, throwing the towel into the hamper.

"Isn't that a little gay?" Bryce said from where was sitting on his bed, flipping through his phone messages. "Even for you?"

Alex flushed. He didn't know that Bryce was in the room.

"Shutup," Alex said, reaching for his glasses that were on the nightstand. "I'm just secure in my masculinity, unlike _some_ people."

Bryce rolled his eyes.

"Didn't strike me as a girly-pop type of guy, does Dane know about this?"

Alex picked up the towel from where he had thrown it in the hamper and flung it at Bryce.

Bryce rolled his eyes and threw the towel back at Alex.

"Don't act like you weren't singing What Makes You Beautiful when you were in the shower," he said, grinning. "I recorded it, actually."

Now it was Bryce's turn to blush. Alex took advantage of the opportunity and took a picture.

"You did not."

"You sure about that?" Alex reached for his iPhone on the bed and pressed play. The sound of Bryce belting the One Direction song filled the room and the younger Seigerson threw a pillow at him.

"BABY YOU LIGHT UP MY WORLD LIKE NOBODY ELSE," Alex mimicked Bryce's voice, mockingly swinging his hips back and forth.

"You're dead!" Bryce said, getting up from the bed and tackling Alex to the floor. Alex laughed, only encouraged by his behavior.

"YOU DON'T KNOWWWW. YOU DON'T KNOW YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL."

Alex got up from the floor and was pulled down again by Bryce grabbing his feet.

He laughed harder, holding his stomach.

"Gosh. Calm down," he said, rolling over to look at Bryce. "I won't tell anyone you're a Directioner," He teased, "In fact, Lucie's one too."

Bryce, stood up, muttering curses under his breath.

"I'm not a Directioner."

"Sure you're not."

Bryce pursed his lips.

"Alright, let's both never speak of this again."

Alex stood up from the floor, straightening his shirt. "Deal."

* * *

><p>Dane laid on his back across the bed with his head hanging off the edge. The blood was rushing to his head but it felt kind of cool in a weird way. He held his book in front of his face, until it dropped to the floor, whereupon he just left it there. It wasn't that great anyway.<p>

"You gonna pick that up?" Damien asked from his own bed where he was listening to his iPod.

"Nah." Dane shook his head and sat up before he got brain damage.

"HOUR 'TIL DINNER!" Julian called from the kitchen and there were noises of acknowledgement from all the rooms in the upstairs hall.

Dane and Damien roomed together, and Jane and Lucie, and Bryce and Alex. They could've gone with Alex and Lucie, Bryce and Dane, and Jane and Damien, but Bryce and Dane couldn't share a room without someone ending up dead, and Dane and Alex couldn't share a room according to their parents' rules, same with Lucie and Damien (though Julian and Logan would have been completely fine with that, Reed and Shane did not want their precious flower deflowered, not that it would have happened), and everyone was of the opinion that Jane and Bryce _had _to be secretly dating, so that was also a no-go. This was the only arrangement that could be worked out.

After coming back from the beach, everyone had been tired and sandy, so they were all taking turns in the shower and resting in their rooms. Dane and Damien had already showered, and now someone else was in there.

"How did things go today?" Dane asked Damien, who pulled out an earbud so he could hear his best friend.

"Good, good," Damien answered. "Lucie forgot her sunglasses at home so I bought her some-"

Dane interrupted him with an obnoxious, fake "AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

Damien glared. "ANYWAY. I bought her some and then we went in the water for awhile. She hated body surfing but now she's like an addict, I can't get her to stop!"

Dane snickered.

"Oh my _God_, Dane!"

"Sorry, sorry." Dane cleared his throat. "I have an innocent mind."

"Stop it with all the lies!" Damien cried.

Dane laughed. "But seriously, that's great. You guys had fun."

"Did you?"

"Yup. But when don't we?" Dane smiled at the thought of his day with Alex on the beach.

"When's the wedding?" Damien asked, receiving a glare from Dane.

"Shut up. We haven't been together _that_ long so stop." Dane crossed his arms over his chest and fell backward on his bed.

"Yeah you actually have," Damien said. "But whatever. Alex is a good guy."

"Damn right he is!" Dane said firmly.

There was a moment of silence.

"I want to be best man."

This earned Damien a shoe to the face.

* * *

><p>Lucie sat cross-legged on her bed in her swimsuit, waiting for her turn to use the shower. Jane had just finished and sat with a book on the other bed, wearing a Spiderman t-shirt and jean shorts. She kept glancing up at Lucie – she couldn't help it!<p>

Lucie's bikini had little pink hearts all across the top, and her boobs were spilling out the top because she hadn't taken the car to adjust it. On the beach she'd fixed it constantly, self-conscious (it hadn't looked like _that_ in the Target dressing room!). Now in the room, just the girls, it didn't matter.

Only to Jane it kind of did.

Lucie's hair was tangled and wet, which made it longer. It fell across her shoulders and one strand fell between her…

Jane shook her head and returned to the page of Pride and Prejudice she was reading. It was her millionth read-through of the book, but it was just _so good_.

Now, though, she couldn't concentrate.

"How was your day? Didn't see you much," Lucie said suddenly, and Jane jumped a mile. "Sorry!" Lucie squeaked out.

"It's okay, just went into cardiac arrest, but you're like, a doctor," Jane said, smiling at her.

"Right, I can help you," Lucie said, nodding confidently. Then she stood up and came over to Jane's bed. "Tell me where it hurts."

"Right here." Jane pointed to her chest, in the way of which, as anyone who understands basic female anatomy will understand, were her boobs.

"Oh." Lucie laughed. "Well this may get a little awkward then."

Jane's heart pounded. She forced a laugh. "Yeah. Whoops. Damn heart placement."

Lucie sat down next to Jane on her bed. "So anyway. Your day?"

"I'm what?" Jane's heart was punching her ribs now.

"Your day. How was it?"

"Oh, my _day_! I thought you said…something else." Nervous laugh and she brushed her hair out of her face. "My day was good."

"How's _Bryyyyce_?" Lucie nudged Jane in the ribs, and Jane pretended like it'd been too hard and she fell over.

"You keep causing me PAINNN!" she squealed.

"OH NO!" Lucie leaned over her. "I'll fix you!"

Jane turned her head and Lucie's was _right there_, right next to hers. Her heart stopped altogether. Lucie's hair fell onto Jane's cheek, her mouth shaped into a little 'o' of fake concern, her big brown eyes were so innocent and adorable, she hadn't realized how close they were…

Without thinking at all, and in an uncharacteristically brazen move, Jane kissed Lucie.

It was short because Lucie pulled away in surprise, but it happened.

Jane couldn't believe what she'd just done. Lucie was sitting up now, staring at her, and Jane's face ran the spectrum all the way to red in just under 0.52 seconds.

"Oh shit," she whispered, sitting up too.

Lucie's mouth formed around words, but she didn't seem to know which of them to say.

"I'm so, so sorry," Jane said. "I'm really sorry! I'm really, _really_, really sorry."

"Why…" Lucie stopped.

"I don't know!" Jane felt panicky, like she might throw up.

"Okay." Lucie looked around, trying to figure out what to do. "Okay. Are you…"

"I don't-" Jane started, then, "I'm pretty sure I'm bi."

"Okay." Lucie allowed this to sink in for a moment, her shoulders hunched, her big eyes looking at the wall.

"I'm so sorry, I don't know what happened, I didn't mean to do it…" Jane sighed. Could she explain? Would that even help?

A knock on the door startled both of them.

"Hey Lucers, it's your turn," Alex's voice said through the door.

Lucie shot up. "Okay!" Her voice sounded overly perky but Alex didn't notice, if he'd even heard. His footsteps sounded off down the hall.

"We'll talk about it later," Lucie said, gathering her clothes and towel in her arms and hurrying out of the room.

Jane fell back onto her bed and stared at the ceiling. What the hell just happened?

* * *

><p>Julian set the plates with hamburgers in front of everyone seated around the dining room table. The sliding glass door to the porch was open, and a sea breeze blew in. Mostly everyone was in a good mood. Dane and Alex held hands under the table, Damien and Lucie did the same (though Lucie wasn't into it), Bryce was as far from his brother as he could get so he was glad…and Jane, across from him, next to Alex, still felt like throwing up.<p>

"Bon appétit!" Julian said as he sat at one of the heads of the table across from his husband (who rolled his eyes).

"Dad," Damien said in a warning voice.

Julian just shrugged at him.

Jane avoided eye contact with Lucie as she picked up her burger and bit into it. "Mm, this is good, thank you, Mr. Larson-Wright," she said, glad she was an actress.

Julian rolled his eyes. "God. Call me Julian."

"Don't call me God, call me Jane, and we have a deal," she said, making everyone laugh. Okay. This was okay, she would be okay.

Maybe.

Dane rubbed Alex's leg under the table, and Alex slapped his hand, so Dane glared at Alex, and Alex stuck his tongue out in return.

"What are you two _doing_?" Bryce's voice brought them back to reality, where everyone at the table was staring at them.

Dane looked down at his hamburger at the accusatory tone in Bryce's voice, and Alex rolled his eyes and said, "Destroying the sanctity of heterosexual relationships, how about you?"

Bryce didn't have a response so he just brought his water up to sip from.

"How was everybody's day?" Julian asked loudly.

"Good," Damien replied equally as loud. "Lucie learned about the glory of body surfing, didn't you, Luce?"

Lucie nodded and poked at her salad with her fork.

The conversation moved on, but Damien whispered to her, "Are you okay?"

Lucie looked up at him and nodded. "Oh yeah," she whispered back. "Just tired." Forced a smile.

"Oh." He nodded. "Okay. Well, you can sleep right after dinner if you want. Just go back to your room. I'm sure Jane will tiptoe when she comes back in. I don't know if we'll watch a movie or something."

"Okay, well, we'll see," Lucie said, trying to sound perky.

Meanwhile, Bryce was talking about this kid flying a kite who ran into him and almost gave him a concussion. Everyone was listening and trying to figure out the best way to tell him he sounded like the product of a douchebag who had a baby with an asshole.

"I hope the kid had fun," Dane said when Bryce's story was over.

Bryce turned an icy glare on his older brother. "Seriously?"

"Well you don't have a concussion," Dane said, shrugging. "So."

"You're gonna have a concussion when-"

"Bryce! Jesus Christ!" Julian cut in.

"Julian!" Logan said sternly. "Leave the kid alone, they're _brothers_."

"Well Bryce doesn't have to-"

"I don't think Dane honestly minds," Logan said, rolling his eyes at Julian and looking to Dane. "Right?"

"Yeah, no, I don't," Dane said like it wasn't a big deal at all that his only remaining sibling despised him.

"I don't think you need to deal with their relationship for them," Logan said to his husband.

"I don't think you guys need to have this conversation at dinner," Alex said bravely, seeing the fake expression on his boyfriend's face. "Save it for later maybe? Or never?" Bright smile.

Silence fell.

"Anyway," Damien said pointedly, "anyone want another burger?"


	29. Chapter 29: Bi Bi Bi

**Chapter 29: Bi Bi Bi**

**Hello everyone! We hope you're still enjoying reading our little fanfiction! Fun fact: This chapter is almost 6,000 words. We don't know how these things happen.**

**The program:**

**Jane tells everyone – Helen  
><strong>**Jane and Bryce eating pizza – Caitlin****  
><strong>**Everyone else discussing how to make Jane feel better – Helen****  
><strong>**Damien to Jane (Stuck in the Middle) – Helen****  
><strong>**Bryce to Jane (Count on Me) – Caitlin****  
><strong>**Alex and Dane to Jane (Grace Kelly) – Helen****  
><strong>**Lucie to Jane (What You Are) – Caitlin****  
><strong>**Wrap-up Scene – Helen**

Jane stood in the living room, biting her lip. Five pairs of eyes looked at her, waiting.

"I…" She wrung her hands in front of her. Oh, why did she tend toward the dramatic? Couldn't she have pulled them all beside one by one and told them? Why did it all have to be at once? "I have something to tell you all."

She examined each of them. Damien, waiting, polite, and if Jane followed his arm down, she saw that it was holding Lucie's hand on the couch. Lucie, who watched with a look of surprise on her face, like she hadn't expected Jane to tell everyone so soon, and she just hoped that Jane left out the part where they kissed. Alex, watching eagerly, his grey eyes bright and excited because he really was just a puppy. Dane, holding Alex's hand on his knee, looking at her earnestly, and dammit, Dane and Alex probably already suspected because they _always_ knew these things. And she couldn't look at Bryce.

"What I'm about to say isn't etched in stone, so don't take out the printing presses or send it to USA Today…" She cleared her throat. "I'm just…speculating." She cleared it again. She glanced at Bryce, finally, who nodded a little. This hadn't been his idea, but he hadn't been against it. "I might be bisexual."

There was a noise; not an audible noise, probably just in Jane's head, but it was the noise of everyone (well, three people) all being surprised at once.

She only looked at Bryce, who was looking at everyone else, and then, finally, slid her eyes across to look at Dane, whose mouth had fallen open slightly and who was looking at her with wide eyes, and then Alex, who had a small smile on his face (the little bastard probably did suspect it), and then Lucie, who was looking at her with a well-studied placid expression on her face, and then Damien, who had a look of surprise much like Dane's.

"So…" She did a little curtsy. "Thank you for your attention." And walked out of the room.

* * *

><p>Bryce took a big bite of his ham and pineapple pizza, a piece of sauce falling down his chin. He made a face and wiped it on the back of his hand, and then on the table cloth.<p>

Jane poked at her pizza, not feeling in the mood to eat it.

"You gonna stare at it or are you gonna eat it? I didn't pay for it so you could look at it," Bryce said, though there wasn't any real conviction in his tone. He knew that Jane was having a bad day after the Lucie incident, which she had told him about almost immediately after dinner.

He had been surprised, of course, and maybe a little jealous. But that wasn't the point.

Jane gave him a look and took a large bite of the pizza.

"Happy?"

"Alright, enough," Bryce said after taking a long sip of his coke. "You want to talk about this or something?" He hated talking about feelings, but if Jane was actually upset he didn't want to be a shitty friend. Especially considering the fact that she was the first friend he ever really had. He didn't want to fuck it up.

Jane groaned.

"No," she said shortly, stirring around her iced tea. "I just want to forget about it, to be honest."

Bryce nodded.

"Well you know Lucie's going to want to talk about it," he pointed out. "Better to start out on me than her."

Jane bit her lip.

"Alright." She sighed. "But there's really not much to say. She was there, I kissed her, I fucked up. End of story."

She put her head in her hands and looked down at the table.

"How'd it feel?" Bryce asked awkwardly after a moment of silence. It was something he had been wondering for a while.

Jane looked up and shot daggers at him.

"What do you mean how did it feel? How do you think it felt?"

"I don't know! That's why I'm asking you!" Goddamn. Girls were confusing.

Jane looked down at her lap.

"Okay, I mean, it felt...kind of different because she obviously wasn't kissing back and it was short..." She trailed off, already feeling her cheeks heat up shamefully. "I mean, it wasn't what I wanted and I don't even know why I _had_ to do it!"

"Did you just lean in or what?"

Jane shook her head.

"I don't even remember how it happened anymore. It was like, one moment she was there and then the next I was kissing her and I don't even know what the hell went through my mind."

"Well she's hot, so I don't blame you," Bryce said, trying to lighten the mood. "Come on, dude, it _happens_."

"Not when you kiss your best friend it doesn't!" Jane snapped, looking up. "Not when she's straight!"

"Well if you kissed me I wouldn't mind..." Bryce said, sitting back in his chair and shrugging, "Who cares if she's a girl?"

"That's because you're _you_, Bryce." Jane rolled her eyes. "If we kissed we'd both crack up."

Bryce laughed.

"Alright, you've got a point there."

Jane took another bite of her pizza, and as she was chewing continued to talk, like the perfect lady that she was.

"And besides, I mean, she was half naked when it happened. She probably thinks I'm such a creep."

Bryce coughed.

"She was, what?"

"No! Not like that. She was in her swimsuit."

"You kissed Lucie in her bikini?" Bryce asked, raising an eyebrow and trying to get the image out of his brain. Shit. That was hot.

"Oh, fuck you." Jane said, nudging Bryce with her elbow. "You're such a guy."

Bryce nudged her back and grinned.

"Come on, that's pretty hot."

Jane groaned and continued to eat in silence, ignoring Bryce's apologies. When she finished she wiped her mouth with a napkin and looked up at Bryce.

"Alright, I forgive you, but only if you buy us ice cream."

"I already bought the pizza!"

"Do you want me to hit you?"

"Fine."

* * *

><p>Everyone had their hands wrapped around mugs of hot chocolate. The wind whipped at the windows, the sky was dark, waves crashed heavily against the sand.<p>

Dane and Alex sat next to each other on one of the couches, Dane sitting cross-legged, Alex with his feet up on the coffee table. Dane's head fell against Alex's shoulder in the silence.

Damien stared into his hot chocolate. The rich brown color was hypnotizing.

Lucie sat a distance away from him, though on the same couch. She blew into her mug to cool the hot drink, though she wasn't going to drink it.

"Well." Alex sipped from his mug. "I think we all should do something for her. Even if she doesn't know for sure, it feels crappy to question. As…three quarters of us know. Sorry Luce." He shot her a charming grin, and she glared at him.

"I agree," Damien said. "She needs support."

They all nodded.

"We should sing to her," Lucie said quietly, then looked up at them. "You know. Like, individually, or all together, however you want to do it…"

They all nodded again.

"Well, I want to do it individually," Damien said. "I mean…I do know a thing or two about being bisexual so…" He shrugged.

"I'll do by myself," Lucie said then. "I-I mean, she's my best friend. I should." She bit her lip, already wondering what song to sing.

Dane lifted his head and looked at Alex. "We could do…" He trailed off and raised his eyebrows.

"We can do something together," Alex said. "Just because we're hipster like that." He winked at Dane.

"Okay. And someone has to tell Bryce," Lucie said. "He'll want to sing something, probably."

When no one volunteered, she added, "I'll tell him."

Then everyone broke off into discussing song choices, and they spent the evening like that, thinking and practicing.

The next morning, Damien entered the room that Jane and Lucie shared without knocking. Jane was still in bed, as Lucie had told him when she'd come to his room and told him that Jane was awake but in bed. It was the perfect chance.

Lucie was now in the bathroom, so they were alone when Damien went over to her bed and held out her hand.

"Come on, Jane, we're going on a field trip," he said, smiling.

She blinked up at him. "Uh…what?"

"I want to take you somewhere."

"Where?" she asked.

"Somewhere magical." He wiggled his eyebrows then laughed. "C'mon, Jane, get up! Don't waste your life in bed!"

"Says the Stuart zombie," she grumbled, but she swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up. She was still in her PJ's, an old, ragged t-shirt from camp and shorts with bunnies on them, and her hair was in a loose bun, but she didn't care, and neither did Damien. She took his hand and giggled a little as he whisked her out of the room, down the hall, down the stairs, through the kitchen, dining room, and living room, and into a smaller room containing only a grand piano.

"This," he announced grandly, letting her hand go and flinging out his arms, "is the piano room."

"Wow," she said sarcastically, "how long did it take you guys to name it that? Must have taken years and years of sleepless nights, tossing and turning in your beds as you wondered what on earth you could call the room, and-"

She was interrupted by the loud sounds of Beethoven's Fifth from Damien on the piano, and she laughed. "Okay. Why are you bringing me to this elusive 'piano room?'" she asked, adding in finger quotes as she felt necessary.

"Because, I am going to sing you a song," he said, scooting over on the piano bench and patting the empty space next to him. She closed the door and then came over to sit beside him.

"Okay," she said slowly. "Why?"

He looked at her. "Well." He cleared his throat dramatically. "As you know, I myself am bisexual."

She groaned. "Oh, no. You're not gonna sing to me, are you?"

He grinned. "That's exactly what I'm going to do! But first, I want to say that being bisexual is very confusing sometimes. But it's really awesome. At first it can kind of feel like whiplash, which I'm sure you've noticed. I mean, there's a couple walking down the beach, right? And you're like, 'Damn that girl has nice boobs,' and then you're like, 'And damn that boy has a nice ass.' It's basically double the being turned on. Which kind of rocks, after a bit." He laughed and so did she.

"Yeah, I noticed that."

"But it's awesome, too, because you're not confined. I think that's what I like most about it. And I'm not trying to convert you or whatever, because you are what you are. But being bisexual…you can literally choose from anyone on the planet. Well. I mean. You can choose from all the straight guys and gay girls. But…still. That's more than most people can."

She smiled. "I can deliver my badassery to more people this way."

"Exactly!" He nudged her in the ribs. "So…yeah. Now I'm gonna sing."

She groaned good-naturedly, and he stuck out his tongue at her and started playing.

_I sit and think about the day that you're gonna die_

_Your wrinkled eyes betray the joy with which you smile_

_Care to see my reason? Care to put your life in mine?_

_Looking at life from the perspective of a boy_

_Who's learnt to love you but has also learned to grow_

_Could we make it better, stormy weather?_

_So hard to know._

Jane laughed, hearing what song he was playing. She loved Mika, and this song, Stuck in the Middle, was one of her favorites. Plus, it was cliché, because it was supposedly about being bisexual. She rolled her eyes at him, and he just grinned at her and kept singing.

_Oh, oh, oh – is there anybody home?_

_Who will believe me, won't deceive me, won't try to change me?_

_Oh, oh, oh – is there anybody home?_

_Who wants to have me just to love me?_

_Stuck in the middle_

Jane bit her lip, and watched his hands deftly running across the keys. Damien was so comfortable in his sexuality, and he had been for so long… He'd come out when he was 13, she was pretty sure. Now here she was, 15 years old, and only just realizing it. How could that be? Maybe she wasn't really bisexual…

Dammit. It was so confusing!

A thought struck her: Would he be singing her this song if he knew that she'd kissed his girlfriend? She bit her lip and looked down at the keys again, her good mood falling quickly.

_I look at you, you look at me, we bite each other_

_And with your bitter words you kick me in the gutter_

_But my troops are bigger than yours_

_You'll never stand my fight_

_Ours is a family that's based upon tradition_

_But with my careless words I tread upon your vision_

_Are five kids better than one? Who doesn't like to be gone?_

Damien noticed her change in mood and nudged her, and she looked back up at him, and he made a face while singing which made her laugh, just because he looked so stupid.

_Oh, oh, oh – is there anybody home?_

_Who will believe me, won't deceive me, won't try to change me?_

_Oh, oh, oh – is there anybody home?_

_Who wants to have me just to love me?_

_Stuck in the middle, yeah, yeah, yeah_

Damien had wanted to pick a song that portrayed what he thought about the situation, without being too serious, so he'd turned immediately to Mika, who managed to deal with serious things in very upbeat ways. And then of course Mika's song about being bisexual came into consideration, but it really was perfect. It was about being proud of who you are, despite what anyone thinks. That was what he thought was important, and what he'd had the most trouble with – becoming comfortable with what other people thought. He wasn't sure if this was a problem for Jane – if it was, she definitely hid it well. But it was still important. Because even some people in the LGBT community hate bisexuals, or don't think they exist.

_This is to my name_

_This ain't a greater plan_

_To break your heart of me_

_I know that what I've started_

_Means that when we have parted_

_I can live in honesty_

Jane swayed with the song, smiling, and Damien glanced over at her every few seconds, gauging her reaction, smiling himself when he saw that it was working and raising her mood.

_Oh, oh, oh – is there anybody home?_

_Who will believe me, won't deceive me, won't try to change me?_

_Oh, oh, oh – is there anybody home?_

_Who wants to have me just to love me?_

_Stuck in the middle_

_Stuck in the middle_

_Stuck in the middle_

_Stuck in the middle_

The song came to a close and Damien stopped playing and looked eagerly at Jane. She threw her arms around him and hugged him tight. "Thank you Damien," she whispered in his ear.

"Anytime, Jane," he said, patting her on the back.

* * *

><p>Bryce pulled a chair from the dining room and sat it down in front of Jane, who was in the middle of the couch.<p>

"Alright, so I'm not usually this sappy, so don't expect something like this to happen again," Bryce said, giving her a pointed look, although after about five seconds of keeping a straight face he grinned, and Jane shook her head fondly. "But, uh, you're my best friend and I don't like seeing you upset so here it goes. Don't make fun of my shitty guitar playing. Lucie taught this one song to me and it took about two hours so..."

He trailed off and reached for the guitar, which was perched on the end of the couch and sat down. Jane laughed and sat back on the couch, crossing her arms, as though she was challenging him.

"Here it goes, alright?"

Bryce took a deep breath and looked down at the guitar strings nervously. He didn't want to fuck this up.

Gently he began to strum, not looking up at Jane for fear that his fingers would slip and she would laugh at him.

_If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea_

_I'll sail the world to find you._

Now there were only two cords switching back and forth, so he looked up at Jane and smiled sheepishly.

_If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can't see_

_I'll be the light to guide you._

He grinned as he began to get more confident and kept eye contact with Jane, making sure that she actually understood how much she meant to him. Before Jane he had no one. He had felt so completely alone at Dalton that he wanted to transfer to some public school. None of Dane's friends liked him and then there was _Damien. _Jane was just...a perfect friend for him. She could be a bit of a bitch but he liked that because he could be more than a bit of a dick sometimes, and she wasn't afraid to tell him that either.

_Find out what we're made of_

_When we are called to help our friends in need..._

He paused and drew out the last note, giving Jane a lopsided grin. She shook her head and smirked in amusement. In all honesty, she hadn't expected Bryce to ever sing something like this to her...or to anyone. It definitely wasn't Moves Like Jagger, but it was...nice. And she wasn't used to this sort of thing.

_You can count on me like 1, 2, 3_

_And I'll be there._

_And I know when I need it_

_I can count on you like 4, 3, 2_

_and you'll be there_

_Cause that's what friends are supposed to do_

_Oh yeah._

Bryce had never really trusted anyone before, not like Jane. And she could actually trust him to. If Alex or Dane or anyone else told him a secret he'd probably end up telling the whole school, but for some reason, he knew he'd never do that with Jane, because she wouldn't do that to him. Jane actually _liked_ him as a person for some reason, and that meant everything.

He met her eyes with a meaningful look and felt his chest constrict. Jane really was beautiful...shit. Why was he thinking that? He wasn't supposed to think that...not about his best friend. No. Jane was a friend. He liked Lucie. That was it. He was just getting into the sappy mood of the song.

_If you're tossing and you're turning and you just can't fall asleep_

_I'll sing a song beside you_

_And if you ever forget how much you really mean to me_

_Every day I will remind you_

Bryce looked down at his fingers as he slipped on a few of the notes and flushed as he heard Jane's familiar laugh. He looked up and shot her a look that was more playful than malicious and let his mouth settle back into a smile.

_Find out what we're made of_

_When we are called to help our friends in need_

Jane hadn't taken her eyes off of Bryce the whole time he sang. She bit her lip, trying not to get too emotional, because really, the way Bryce was singing and the look in his eyes...she hadn't really seen him so honest or sincere ever. No one had ever been that kind of friend to her before.

He paused again and took in Jane's reaction before continuing to strum, a bit shaky. He felt like he was singing something that was a lot more emotional than it was.

Maybe it was how close he was sitting to Jane or the way their eyes met, but something about it was different than he had expected.

_You can count on me like 1, 2, 3_

_And I'll be there_

_And I know when I need it_

_I can count on you like 4, 3, 2_

_And you'll be there_

_Cause that's what friends are supposed to do_

_oh yeah._

Shit. Were her eyes always that blue? Bryce's hand slipped and he bit his lip before continuing to strum again, deciding to look down at his hands instead of at Jane so that he could get through the song.

_I'll always have my shoulder when you cry_

_I'll never let go_

_Never say goodbye._

_You know you can,_

Bryce decided to look up and stared seriously at Jane, hoping that she understood. He was sharing a lot more than he was used to, a lot more than he could in words, and he hoped she could understand that this wasn't just a song. Whether she was gay or straight or bisexual, whether she kissed his crush or not. He wanted to actually be there for someone. And he hadn't wanted to be there for someone since Anna died.

He hadn't been close to someone like Jane since Anna died. And that meant everything.

_Count on me like 1, 2, 3_

_And I'll be there_

_And I know when I need it_

_I can count on you like 4, 3, 2_

_And you'll be there_

_Cause that's what friends are supposed to do_

_Oh yeah._

As Bryce strummed the last cords of the song he took a shaky breath and looked down at his hands again.

_You can count on me cause I can count on you._

Bryce finished the final cords of the song and barely had a chance to put the guitar down before Jane had her arms around him.

"I'm guessing you liked it?" he breathed, hesitantly wrapping his arms around her middle and resting his head on her shoulder.

"Don't talk, just hug," Jane responded, squeezing him tighter.

Bryce smiled and settled into the embrace. This felt...good. It felt safe. And better than he would have imagined a hug from Jane to feel.

He was screwed.

* * *

><p>Later, Jane was sitting on the front porch with a book on her lap, absorbed in the words and the fantasy lands that she loved so much, not thinking about anything.<p>

Until two people came and sat on either side of her. She looked up at them and rolled her eyes. "Is it your turn now?" she asked.

"Yes it is! It's our turn to sing to you," Alex announced happily.

Jane laughed. "Oh, alright," she said, rolling her eyes. "Since you seem so eager, I guess I'll allow you to."

"Silly Janers," Dane said, shaking his head. "You have no choice."

And they lifted her up by the arms and whisked her away to the back patio, surrounded by a tall fence (because Julian Larson-Wright needs his privacy, thank you very much). They sat her down on the picnic table, butt on the table, feet on the bench, and backed up so they were standing in the grass.

"So, in response to your recent semi-revelations," Dane started, "you probably noticed that everyone is singing songs to you. But Alex and I wanted to sing together, for a few reasons: first of all, no one on earth can sing this song alone because of the crazy vocals, and second of all, we have the same message to say to you, which is basically that you're Jane Randall and you're awesome no matter what, and other people are gonna try to make you into something you're not, or make you wish you _were_ something you're not, or even people are gonna try to make you choose. But you don't have to. You can be whoever the fuck you want to be."

Jane smiled.

"Also," Alex added, "we just want to say that we chose to do a Mika song before Damien did so…it's not us copying, it's him."

She laughed. "Okay, okay, get on with it, time's a-wastin'."

They glanced at each other, then Dane said,

"_I wanna talk to you."_

Jane laughed excitedly, and they both turned to her and pointed, and she rolled her eyes but dutifully said,

"_The last time we talked, Mr. Smith, you reduced me to tears. I promise you it won't happen again."_

Then Alex started to sing:

_Do I attract you?_

_Do I repulse you with my queasy smile?_

_Am I too dirty?_

_Am I too flirty?_

_Do I like what you like?_

Dane took over to sing:

_I could be wholesome_

_I could be loathsome_

_I guess I'm a little bit shy_

_Why don't you like me?_

_Why don't you like me without making me try?_

And then Dane stepped forward and held out his hand for Jane to take, 'May I have this dance?'-style, as Alex sang the next part.

_I tried to be like Grace Kelly_

_But all her looks were too sad_

_So I try a little Freddie_

_I've gone identity mad!_

Jane took Dane's hand, and Dane twirled her, then dipped her, then pretended to do the tango, while singing the chorus with Alex.

_I could be brown_

_I could be blue_

_I could be violet sky_

_I could be hurtful_

_I could be purple_

_I could be anything you like_

_Gotta be green_

_Gotta be mean_

_Gotta be everything more_

_Why don't you like me?_

_Why don't you like me?_

_Walk out the door!_

Dane pushed Jane toward Alex, just as she chimed in with,

"_Getting angry doesn't solve anything."_

Alex laughed and took her hand, then concentratedly did the dance moves Dane had instructed him on: he pulled her in, then twirled her out, then did the same tango-move as Dane had done, then took both her hands and just did the typical dance girls do at high school dances when they feel awkward and don't know what to do… All while Dane sang the next part.

_How can I help it_

_How can I help it_

_How can I help what you think?_

_Hello my baby_

_Hello my baby_

_Putting my life on the brink_

_Why don't you like me_

_Why don't you like me_

_Why don't you like yourself?_

_Should I bend over?_

_Should I look older just to be put on your shelf?_

Alex let go of Jane's hands and sang the next part (because Dane had tried to sing it but discovered he couldn't reach the last note at all, and Alex _almost_ could, so that was close enough).

_I tried to be like Grace Kelly_

_But all her looks were too sad_

_So I try a little Freddie_

_I've gone identity mad!_

They stood together in front of Jane, with their arms around each other, to sing the chorus again, with such huge grins on their faces that she couldn't help but grin too.

_I could be brown_

_I could be blue_

_I could be violet sky_

_I could be hurtful_

_I could be purple_

_I could be anything you like_

_Gotta be green_

_Gotta be mean_

_Gotta be everything more_

_Why don't you like me?_

_Why don't you like me?_

_Walk out the door!_

At this, Dane smacked Alex's ass, and Alex looked hurt and walked away, as if walking out the door. Jane laughed.

Dane, all alone now, sang the next part himself, looking into her eyes, because it was one of the most meaningful parts of the song and one he and Alex had agreed was important. Because everyone else would tell her what to want, either way, and it's hard to remember to just want what _you_ want, not what other people want you to want.

_Say what you want to satisfy yourself _(Alex added in the 'HEY!' in the background)

_But you only want what everybody else says you should want_

At the end, he rolled his eyes and walked over to grab Alex by the sleeve of his t-shirt, pulling him back as he sang the beginning of the chorus, then Alex joined in.

_I could be brown_

_I could be blue_

_I could be violet sky_

_I could be hurtful_

_I could be purple_

_I could be anything you like_

_Gotta be green_

_Gotta be mean_

_Gotta be everything more_

_Why don't you like me?_

_Why don't you like me?_

_Walk out the door!_

This time they danced with each other, slightly more complicated moves, with Dane leading because Alex didn't know how to dance, and laughing whenever they messed up.

Jane watched with a permanent smile on her face. Her friends really were the best. First Damien, who she'd never really been that close to, then Bryce, who she hadn't expected to do something like this for _anyone_, let alone her, and now Dane and Alex. All for her, to make her feel better. Right now, it was working; she felt like the luckiest girl in the world, no matter what gender(s) she liked.

_I could be brown_

_I could be blue_

_I could be violet sky_

_I could be hurtful_

_I could be purple_

_I could be anything you like_

_Gotta be green_

_Gotta be mean_

_Gotta be everything more_

_Why don't you like me?_

_Why don't you like me?_

_Walk out the door!_

They stopped and pointed to her, both slightly out of breath, and she said,

"_Humphry! We're leaving."_

They both went,

"_Cha-ching!"_

And the song was over. Dane and Alex stood there breathing hard for a moment, and then Alex said, "I am _never_ singing that song ever again so you better have liked it, Janers." Dane nodded in agreement.

Jane went over and wrapped them both in a big bear hug. "I loved it," she said. "You guys are the best!"

* * *

><p>Lucie knocked lightly on the door to the room she shared with Jane, guitar in hand, and held her breath.<p>

It only took a moment for Jane to open the door, face lacking any sort of expression, but heart hammering in her chest on the inside.

"I think it's my turn to sing to you," Lucie said, letting out a small awkward laugh to fill the silence. Jane smiled a little and motioned for her to come in.

"I know you probably think I'm going to be freaked out around you or something now," Lucie said, sitting down carefully on the bed and tracing patterns along the quilted sheets. "But doesn't matter what you are, because, Jane…" She paused, looking at her meaningfully. "You're amazing. You're hilarious and smart, and funny, and I'm always going to be there for you."

Their eyes met and Jane felt her heart flutter. Shit.

"My papa told me that he sang this song once in high school. He sang it to me once, and I think you should listen to the lyrics," she explained, as she picked up the guitar and began to strum.

"So here it goes."

Jane crossed her legs on the bed and watched Lucie, chest constricted, mouth set.

_Driving around town_

_Kind of bored with the windows pulled down_

_See a girl on the bus stop bench dressed to draw attention_

_Hoping everyone will stare_

_If she don't stand out she thinks she'll disappear._

_Wish I could hold her show her tell her what she wants is already there._

Lucie met Jane's eyes and smiled warmly in that way that only Lucie could. A smile that was so accepting and honest that Jane found it impossible to look away.

_A star is a star_

_It doesn't have to try to shine_

_And water will fall_

_A bird just knows how to fly_

Lucie's voice was soft and beautiful and everything that Lucie was, and to hear those accepting words being sung was more than Jane could put into words.

_You don't have to tell a flower how to bloom_

_Or a light how to fill up a room_

_You already are what you are and what you are_

Lucie paused and inclined her head to Jane.

_Is beautiful._

Jane grinned and looked down. Why did she have to feel this way about Lucie? Why couldn't she just think of her as a friend and leave it at that? Everything was so confusing. And here she was telling her it didn't matter to her either way, and it was nearly impossible for Jane to stop the beating of her heart.

_Look in the mirror now that's another story to tell_

_I give love to others, but I give myself hell_

_I'd have to tell myself in every scene there's a perfect plan_

_Everything I hoped to be I already am._

Lucie moved from her place on the bed and sat next to Jane, leaning into her in a friendly gesture. Jane smiled and shook her head, trying not to get overly emotional. Lucie was the sweetest person she had ever met, and she was so lucky to have her as a friend.

Lucie hoped that she understood all the lyrics. Jane was perfect the way she was, and they had been friends for so long. Jane was always the one who seemed confident on the outside, and Lucie had always looked up to her, yet seeing her down on herself made her realize that maybe Jane needed someone there for her too.

_A flower is a flower it doesn't have to try to bloom_

_And light is light, it just knows how to fill a room_

_Ad dark is dark, So the stars have a place to shine_

_The tide goes out so it can come back another time_

Lucie looked down at her fingers and then up at Jane as she continued to strum, voice growing more confident with time.

_We already are what we are_

_And what we are_

_Is beautiful._

_And strong enough_

_And bright enough_

As Lucie strummed the last cords to the song, she wrapped her arms around Jane and then pulled back, smiling.

"All of the lyrics are true, I don't want you to think that just because of what happened I'm not here for you," Lucie said quietly, looking down at her hands.

Jane blinked, eyes glassy and then smiled hesitantly.

"Thanks," she muttered, not knowing what else to say. "You're the best, Lucie."

They both looked up at the same time and met each other's gaze, smiling.

"Anytime."

* * *

><p>As everyone sat around the bonfire on the beach that evening, with the clouds streaking the sun's setting colors across the grey sky, waves crashing relentlessly onto the shore, tired children being carried off the beach by their even more tired mothers and fathers, teenagers whooping in the distance, the lights on the distant pier lighting up the horizon with blue and pink and green neons, Jane smiled. These were her friends, and imperfect as they may be…they were still the best. Maybe she still didn't know with any positivity what she was – gay or straight or bi – but she had a pretty good idea. And today, her friends had shown her that it didn't matter one bit.<p> 


End file.
